How do you do an anniversary?
July 31, 2013 9:54 AM Subscribe
It will be a year since my boyfriend and I have been dating! He's great, we're in love, living together since May. I want to do something but have no idea what.
The problem is: The 1 yr mark is Saturday and we'll actually be away on an all day family outing so we won't have much alone time.
I've gone back and forth about how to acknowledge or celebrate this. We are both introverts and don't like to make a big deal about things. But having him in my life has made my life so much better and it feels right and important to commemorate in some way especially since I was going through so much when we met.
Quick background: I was in a very long relationship (over 10 years) that ended horribly. It was also abusive in many ways. We never celebrated any anniversary so I don't even know where to begin. My current relationship is strange in that it is normal in a way that I did not know. He makes me feel special and loved and smart and funny. I love the shit out of this guy! He's great with all my cats. It is my intent to keep him (read that with a creepy voice).
He loves live music and chocolate. I've got him hooked on cheese and cured meats. His taste in music is all over the place but since I'm a Hip Hop/R&B girl he is mostly listening to and enjoying the stuff I'm into. Oh we recently had the smore's pie from Pie's & Thighs which he loved!
So how do you do a 1 year dating anniversary? He has mentioned that the date is coming and we'll have a toast. I just want to do something a little special. One idea was a collage of photos with him in various situations with the cats but they haven't been participating. Any ideas???
Quick background: I was in a very long relationship (over 10 years) that ended horribly. It was also abusive in many ways. We never celebrated any anniversary so I don't even know where to begin. My current relationship is strange in that it is normal in a way that I did not know. He makes me feel special and loved and smart and funny. I love the shit out of this guy! He's great with all my cats. It is my intent to keep him (read that with a creepy voice).
He loves live music and chocolate. I've got him hooked on cheese and cured meats. His taste in music is all over the place but since I'm a Hip Hop/R&B girl he is mostly listening to and enjoying the stuff I'm into. Oh we recently had the smore's pie from Pie's & Thighs which he loved!
So how do you do a 1 year dating anniversary? He has mentioned that the date is coming and we'll have a toast. I just want to do something a little special. One idea was a collage of photos with him in various situations with the cats but they haven't been participating. Any ideas???
You give him a card.
Draw a picture of the two of you on the front.
On the front, write, "you make me want to be a better person."
Inside, write, "and by 'better' I mean 'more naked.'"
Saw that one at Hallmark.
posted by phunniemee at 10:01 AM on July 31, 2013 [7 favorites]
Draw a picture of the two of you on the front.
On the front, write, "you make me want to be a better person."
Inside, write, "and by 'better' I mean 'more naked.'"
Saw that one at Hallmark.
posted by phunniemee at 10:01 AM on July 31, 2013 [7 favorites]
We more or less recreated our first date on our anniversary. I wore the same dress (that I now only wear for special occasions), he made me the same meal... it was lovely.
And just tell him what you said here, that you love the shit out of him and that you intend to keep him. Say it in words that sound like you, not like a movie. Don't say "I adore your presence in my life!", say "I fucking love the shit out of you!" (or whatever is somethnig you would say). Do whatever is meaningful for YOU TWO, not what you think you're supposed to do. Know what I mean?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 10:04 AM on July 31, 2013 [3 favorites]
And just tell him what you said here, that you love the shit out of him and that you intend to keep him. Say it in words that sound like you, not like a movie. Don't say "I adore your presence in my life!", say "I fucking love the shit out of you!" (or whatever is somethnig you would say). Do whatever is meaningful for YOU TWO, not what you think you're supposed to do. Know what I mean?
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 10:04 AM on July 31, 2013 [3 favorites]
A simple letter telling him what he means to you, written and handed to him either first thing in the morning or last thing that night, would be ideal - it's the kind of thing you can do in a rare private moment while you're on your family outing, and it says what you want to say.
Anniversaries don't have to be Huge Dog And Pony Shows if you don't want them to be.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:05 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
Anniversaries don't have to be Huge Dog And Pony Shows if you don't want them to be.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:05 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
Have a contest to see who can get the most Facebook "likes"/comments in a status where you each say something mushy about the other.
posted by jozxyqk at 10:10 AM on July 31, 2013
posted by jozxyqk at 10:10 AM on July 31, 2013
Special dessert. Go hiking. Spend some extra time snuggling. It doesn't have to be elaborate or big, just meaningful.
posted by epanalepsis at 10:39 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by epanalepsis at 10:39 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
N-thing the homemade card idea. Doesn't even need to be fancy -- stick figures and your loving words above.
We sometimes return to the same cafe we visited. Not every year.
What's important to us now, 13 years later, is to always tell the story of our first date to each other and whomever is important. I still love when my parents do it every year, and now my kids love it too.
It's lovely to read about your happiness. All the best!
posted by mamabear at 11:27 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
We sometimes return to the same cafe we visited. Not every year.
What's important to us now, 13 years later, is to always tell the story of our first date to each other and whomever is important. I still love when my parents do it every year, and now my kids love it too.
It's lovely to read about your happiness. All the best!
posted by mamabear at 11:27 AM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
I believe that anniversaries are the reason that they make lingerie. Buy some. Wear it. For as briefly as possible.
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:12 PM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by I am the Walrus at 12:12 PM on July 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
My fiance and I celebrate our anniversary by going bowling. The reason for that is that we went bowling on our first date. And we usually give each other small gifts of some kind. Really it's more about saying/feeling "Yay we're still together and love each other!" than any specific traditions though.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:25 PM on July 31, 2013
posted by burnmp3s at 12:25 PM on July 31, 2013
If you're stuck at the family event together, find little ways of connecting with each other during the day. So draw little kissy faces on your fingers and make kiss finger-waves at him from across the room. Or have a little pocketful of delicious dark chocolates and hand them to him as you guys pass in the hallway. Slip notes into his pockets. Me and my guy are in an LDR and aren't always together for out anniversary, so we try to have an anniversary hike-and-dinner on some special day to be determined by the two of us and, like others, we talk about when we first met and the things we've learned about each other since then.
posted by jessamyn at 12:51 PM on July 31, 2013
posted by jessamyn at 12:51 PM on July 31, 2013
um hello almost twinsie. my one-year anniversary is coming up and i also got out of a long-term shitty relationship and blah blah blah. my current plan is to buy my boyfran a delicious dinner, a super cute card, then bone him until the sun comes up. don't even care, bro.
since you guys will be gone all day, arrange to have a selection of cured meats and cheeses plus wine/beer/whatever for a light dinner when you get home. eat it in bed. finish by making each other stove smores (note: this only works if you have a gas stove.) spend the rest of the night making out and being naked.
(one thing i read about somewhere that i thought was a cute idea was to have each other write three things that you like about the other on an index card, and also three goals for the year ahead, then seal them both up in an envelope and stash them away to be opened and read on next year's anniversary.)
posted by kerning at 2:02 PM on July 31, 2013
since you guys will be gone all day, arrange to have a selection of cured meats and cheeses plus wine/beer/whatever for a light dinner when you get home. eat it in bed. finish by making each other stove smores (note: this only works if you have a gas stove.) spend the rest of the night making out and being naked.
(one thing i read about somewhere that i thought was a cute idea was to have each other write three things that you like about the other on an index card, and also three goals for the year ahead, then seal them both up in an envelope and stash them away to be opened and read on next year's anniversary.)
posted by kerning at 2:02 PM on July 31, 2013
My partner thinks I have the best gift ideas, which I guess just shows that I know him well. Some things I've done in the past:
A 'mix tape' - not an actual CD but a folder of lyrics from songs that remind me of him and a little story that went along with it to connect the songs together
A framed print with our motto on it, from Etsy
A hamper with things that reminded me of him, tea, chocolate, a cook book, etc
A personalised mug - also with our motto, from Vistaprint
Box set of DVDs and a popcorn machine
and finally a photo album filled with brochures, tickets etc of all the things I thought we could do together over the coming year (Christmas gift)
Perhaps that gives you some inspiration!
Happy Anniversary :)
posted by Youremyworld at 4:42 PM on July 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
A 'mix tape' - not an actual CD but a folder of lyrics from songs that remind me of him and a little story that went along with it to connect the songs together
A framed print with our motto on it, from Etsy
A hamper with things that reminded me of him, tea, chocolate, a cook book, etc
A personalised mug - also with our motto, from Vistaprint
Box set of DVDs and a popcorn machine
and finally a photo album filled with brochures, tickets etc of all the things I thought we could do together over the coming year (Christmas gift)
Perhaps that gives you some inspiration!
Happy Anniversary :)
posted by Youremyworld at 4:42 PM on July 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
But having him in my life has made my life so much better ... He makes me feel special and loved and smart and funny. I love the shit out of this guy! He's great with all my cats. It is my intent to keep him (read that with a creepy voice).
Just go for a walk and tell him what you told us. Anniversaries are not about some assigned activities, they are a time to express your love. Congratulations.
posted by LarryC at 11:05 PM on July 31, 2013
Just go for a walk and tell him what you told us. Anniversaries are not about some assigned activities, they are a time to express your love. Congratulations.
posted by LarryC at 11:05 PM on July 31, 2013
If it suits your relationship, buy a nice Moleskine journal and write all of your lovely sentiments in it, or whatever you like. Perhaps list some of the favorite memories you made in the last year. Present it to him as a token that you may pass back and forth over time. Some of those times may represent an occasion, like now, others may be just becauses.
posted by AnOrigamiLife at 1:46 AM on August 1, 2013
posted by AnOrigamiLife at 1:46 AM on August 1, 2013
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We're pretty indulgent and we buy whatever we want when we want. (or what we can afford.) We just bought the replacement of a sewer pipe for about $5,000, so...yeah, no more presents this year.
Make him a lovely card, and tell him exactly what you've said here. I'm making spaghetti for dinner tonight.
When it's really good, a little something special is the perfect thing.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:59 AM on July 31, 2013 [2 favorites]