My 9-month-old baby is waking up increasingly early. Help!
July 25, 2013 5:21 PM Subscribe
My 9-month-old, always a good sleeper, has been waking up in the morning earlier and earlier for the past two months. He now consistently wakes up between 5 and 5:30am, and sometimes before. This is hard on his poor parents. Ideas?
I've looked at previous questions, but as always, the devil is in the details, so here are a flurry:
* We put him to bed somewhere between 7pm and 8pm, usually closer to 8pm. I have not noticed a correlation between when we put him to bed and how long he sleeps for. He is usually not super tired when we put him to bed but he is tired enough that he will talk himself to sleep without a fuss.
* He sleeps through the night very well, hardly waking at all, and generally putting himself back to sleep when he does.
* He is definitely wide awake when he wakes up in the morning. For the past few months I have been following the advice in the Sleep Lady book, of not actually getting him out of bed until 6am. He's a generally happy baby and will lay there and talk to himself for 10-20 minutes, but does not go back to sleep for that entire time. And even he is not willing to lay there for an hour doing nothing, so now that he's consistently waking up closer to 5am, much crying is involved and I've been caving and getting him earlier. I don't think making him lay there awake is accomplishing much of anything beyond making us both miserable (I am certainly not sleeping through this). So I am considering stopping this and just getting him once he's tired of talking to himself.
* If when we wakes up I go in to soothe him but don't pick him up this just riles him up and wakes him up further (in fact, the same is generally true for the rare midnight waking as well, unless I'm quick and careful. So mostly I just leave him alone).
* Again, he's wide awake when he wakes up, and will happily stay awake for about three hours until he naps sometime around 8am or 8:30am.
* Naptimes are a half an hour at 8 or 8:30am, about 1.5-2 hours around 11:30am, and usually another half an hour around 4pm. The duration of the second nap is up to him. For the first and last naps we do wake him after half an hour: the last because if we don't, he's not tired enough to go to sleep; the first because he generally has things to go to in the morning between 9-10:30am. If he doesn't get that last nap his mood is a nightmare at the end of the day, and I haven't noticed that it makes him sleep much longer in the morning.
* As far as I can tell there is no correlation between how long he sleeps during the day and when he wakes up in the morning. For instance, one day in the past two weeks he slept until the glorious hour of 6:30am. This was after napping unusually a lot during the day (like 3.5 hours total). However, the two days where he napped unusually little during the day (like 1.5 hours total) were the two days where he slept the next latest (around 5:45am). Most other days he has been waking up around 5:10am, after sleeping anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours during the day.
* It's winter here in Australia, so it's not light until 7am. This is not a light issue.
* He eats like a champ - lots of solids, lots of milk. I'm pretty sure he's waking up because he's not tired any more, not because he's hungry.
I know baby sleep is an art, not a science, but I'd love to hear if anyone has ideas that have worked for you. Thank you in advance.
I've looked at previous questions, but as always, the devil is in the details, so here are a flurry:
* We put him to bed somewhere between 7pm and 8pm, usually closer to 8pm. I have not noticed a correlation between when we put him to bed and how long he sleeps for. He is usually not super tired when we put him to bed but he is tired enough that he will talk himself to sleep without a fuss.
* He sleeps through the night very well, hardly waking at all, and generally putting himself back to sleep when he does.
* He is definitely wide awake when he wakes up in the morning. For the past few months I have been following the advice in the Sleep Lady book, of not actually getting him out of bed until 6am. He's a generally happy baby and will lay there and talk to himself for 10-20 minutes, but does not go back to sleep for that entire time. And even he is not willing to lay there for an hour doing nothing, so now that he's consistently waking up closer to 5am, much crying is involved and I've been caving and getting him earlier. I don't think making him lay there awake is accomplishing much of anything beyond making us both miserable (I am certainly not sleeping through this). So I am considering stopping this and just getting him once he's tired of talking to himself.
* If when we wakes up I go in to soothe him but don't pick him up this just riles him up and wakes him up further (in fact, the same is generally true for the rare midnight waking as well, unless I'm quick and careful. So mostly I just leave him alone).
* Again, he's wide awake when he wakes up, and will happily stay awake for about three hours until he naps sometime around 8am or 8:30am.
* Naptimes are a half an hour at 8 or 8:30am, about 1.5-2 hours around 11:30am, and usually another half an hour around 4pm. The duration of the second nap is up to him. For the first and last naps we do wake him after half an hour: the last because if we don't, he's not tired enough to go to sleep; the first because he generally has things to go to in the morning between 9-10:30am. If he doesn't get that last nap his mood is a nightmare at the end of the day, and I haven't noticed that it makes him sleep much longer in the morning.
* As far as I can tell there is no correlation between how long he sleeps during the day and when he wakes up in the morning. For instance, one day in the past two weeks he slept until the glorious hour of 6:30am. This was after napping unusually a lot during the day (like 3.5 hours total). However, the two days where he napped unusually little during the day (like 1.5 hours total) were the two days where he slept the next latest (around 5:45am). Most other days he has been waking up around 5:10am, after sleeping anywhere from 1.5 to 3 hours during the day.
* It's winter here in Australia, so it's not light until 7am. This is not a light issue.
* He eats like a champ - lots of solids, lots of milk. I'm pretty sure he's waking up because he's not tired any more, not because he's hungry.
I know baby sleep is an art, not a science, but I'd love to hear if anyone has ideas that have worked for you. Thank you in advance.
This may sound counter-intuitive but have you tried putting him to sleep earlier? I also have a 9 month old and if my math is right, it looks like he is getting about 12 hours of sleep a day including naps. My daughter is closer to 14 hours total (12 at night, 6.30-6.30, and an hour nap around 9 am and an hour around 2). I have found if she is short on her total sleep, she doesnt sleep as well or as long.. sleep seems to beget sleep. She also has recently dropped the last cat nap. When she did that, we moved her bed time up and she is sleepy enough that she sleeps solid through the night. Of course, she will occasionally wake early but it's pretty infrequent.
Do you use pacifiers? I have found that if I go in and reinsert her paci (she can do it herself but sometimes she can't find it), she will go back to sleep as long as the room is still dark and I don't talk to her.
posted by polkadot at 5:33 PM on July 25, 2013
Do you use pacifiers? I have found that if I go in and reinsert her paci (she can do it herself but sometimes she can't find it), she will go back to sleep as long as the room is still dark and I don't talk to her.
posted by polkadot at 5:33 PM on July 25, 2013
At around 8-9 months my baby was down to 2 naps a day, and then just 1 at about a year. Maybe it's time to get rid of a nap? Try to keep him up in the morning and see if that helps.
posted by katypickle at 5:36 PM on July 25, 2013
posted by katypickle at 5:36 PM on July 25, 2013
Best answer: When we had this problem, a friend suggested we go to two naps of at least 45 min, and it helped A TON. Something about that 45 min mark is the sweet spot for our little one that makes her want more sleep.
posted by Nickel Pickle at 5:40 PM on July 25, 2013
posted by Nickel Pickle at 5:40 PM on July 25, 2013
Response by poster: LOL, hal_c_on, I fear that may be the answer. :)
In the hopes that it's not, I'll answer a few of the questions:
* His last feed of the day is right before he goes to sleep, a full bottle (240ml, which is... 8-9oz?). About an hour before that he has dinner with us (dinner is whatever we had).
* We do use a pacifier. When he wakes in the morning he is generally sucking on the pacifier, or happily playing with it. It's not a problem of him not being able to find it.
* Sounds like he may be napping too much? We find that if we cut down on his naps, though, he's in a really bad mood. Do you just have to suck it up and live with the bad mood as the price of longer sleeps at night?
* What with our work schedules, we can't consistently get him to sleep much earlier, unfortunately. We could try to at least aim more for the 7pm side of things than the 8pm, but like I said, I haven't noticed that making much difference.
posted by forza at 5:46 PM on July 25, 2013
In the hopes that it's not, I'll answer a few of the questions:
* His last feed of the day is right before he goes to sleep, a full bottle (240ml, which is... 8-9oz?). About an hour before that he has dinner with us (dinner is whatever we had).
* We do use a pacifier. When he wakes in the morning he is generally sucking on the pacifier, or happily playing with it. It's not a problem of him not being able to find it.
* Sounds like he may be napping too much? We find that if we cut down on his naps, though, he's in a really bad mood. Do you just have to suck it up and live with the bad mood as the price of longer sleeps at night?
* What with our work schedules, we can't consistently get him to sleep much earlier, unfortunately. We could try to at least aim more for the 7pm side of things than the 8pm, but like I said, I haven't noticed that making much difference.
posted by forza at 5:46 PM on July 25, 2013
Best answer: I would consolidate the naps and go to a morning nap from around 9-10:30 and an afternoon nap from around 1-2:30. It may be painful for a few days as he readjusts, but pushing back the first nap and eliminating the third nap may help him sleep longer. If he's getting a nap at 8 a.m. then it makes sense that he would wake up around 5.
posted by chickenmagazine at 5:53 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by chickenmagazine at 5:53 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My son has been doing the same thing for the past two months. He takes three naps a day, all one hour in length, the last ending at 4 pm. He eats three huge, multi-course meals a day and still nurses at least four times a day.
We've tried cutting the afternoon nap. Result? Crabby for the last hour and half of the day, crying and completely wigging out at bedtime at 7pm, still awoke at 530 ready to nurse, hang out and play until 7 am.
Cut the morning naps? 4 am wake-up with immediate pacifier application and cry it out for fifteen minutes until awakening again between 5 and 530 am.
Putting him to bed earlier, as per the recommendation of several friends and sleep guides. Result? Awoke at 5 am, babbled in his crib til 530, stood up and yelled until I came in to nurse him, hang out, and play.
We've put him to bed later. 5:30 wake up.
More food, less food, earlier dinner, later dinner, snacks during the day, more physical activity, additional bed time stories, it doesn't matter. He wakes between 5 and 530 and will have a complete crying meltdown if I don't go in to nurse him, hang out with him, and play.
So, here's what we do. I go to bed between 10 and 1030. My husband might stay up til 11 or 1130. I get up with baby no earlier than 530, nurse him, and hang with him until 615. My husband then gets up and I go back to bed. Then, he plays with him until 645, feeds him a full breakfast and puts him back down around 7 am. Husband then showers and readies himself for work. I sleep until 8, husband goes to work, baby wakes up around 810.
I'm afraid some baby's are early risers, at least for awhile, particularly when they're in the throws of significant developmental changes. I feel your pain. My best advice is to split the el sucko early wake up time between yourself and your spouse and go to bed earlier at night.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 6:04 PM on July 25, 2013
We've tried cutting the afternoon nap. Result? Crabby for the last hour and half of the day, crying and completely wigging out at bedtime at 7pm, still awoke at 530 ready to nurse, hang out and play until 7 am.
Cut the morning naps? 4 am wake-up with immediate pacifier application and cry it out for fifteen minutes until awakening again between 5 and 530 am.
Putting him to bed earlier, as per the recommendation of several friends and sleep guides. Result? Awoke at 5 am, babbled in his crib til 530, stood up and yelled until I came in to nurse him, hang out, and play.
We've put him to bed later. 5:30 wake up.
More food, less food, earlier dinner, later dinner, snacks during the day, more physical activity, additional bed time stories, it doesn't matter. He wakes between 5 and 530 and will have a complete crying meltdown if I don't go in to nurse him, hang out with him, and play.
So, here's what we do. I go to bed between 10 and 1030. My husband might stay up til 11 or 1130. I get up with baby no earlier than 530, nurse him, and hang with him until 615. My husband then gets up and I go back to bed. Then, he plays with him until 645, feeds him a full breakfast and puts him back down around 7 am. Husband then showers and readies himself for work. I sleep until 8, husband goes to work, baby wakes up around 810.
I'm afraid some baby's are early risers, at least for awhile, particularly when they're in the throws of significant developmental changes. I feel your pain. My best advice is to split the el sucko early wake up time between yourself and your spouse and go to bed earlier at night.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 6:04 PM on July 25, 2013
Best answer: When ours was doing something similar at around the same age, we also went down to two long naps (which does make trying to go anywhere during the morning kind of futile, but there it is) and also became big fans of bringing her into our bed for morning nurse/snuggles/let the parents pretend they aren't really up yet when she woke up in the morning.
posted by redfoxtail at 6:05 PM on July 25, 2013
posted by redfoxtail at 6:05 PM on July 25, 2013
I wouldn't move mountains to change the baby's schedule because it will just change the minute a new tooth starts coming in or you add a new food to his diet or you go out of town for a long weekend.
It may be time to go to two naps--three naps is really pretty impressive for a baby of that age in any case.
posted by padraigin at 6:12 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
It may be time to go to two naps--three naps is really pretty impressive for a baby of that age in any case.
posted by padraigin at 6:12 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
Are there any little toys or books in the crib, and/or a crib soother or mobile? My nine month old is usually content to hang out in his crib awake for up to an hour if he has a pacifier, some toys, and his mobile (which he can turn on).
posted by amro at 7:19 PM on July 25, 2013
posted by amro at 7:19 PM on July 25, 2013
Also, he often falls back to sleep for a while if he's lying there playing with his wubbanub or watching his mobile.
posted by amro at 7:28 PM on July 25, 2013
posted by amro at 7:28 PM on July 25, 2013
Best answer: At about that age we adopted thev2-3-4 approach. First nap two hours after waking, for as long as she wanted; second map three hours after waking for as long as she wanted; bed time four hours after waking. If she napped too too long on the last nap we would wake her.
Also, at around a year we found we needed to sort of rouse her in the middle of the night, just enough to reset the sleep cycle.
Our daughter was a sleep begets sleep kid; crappy naps meant early waking.
posted by dpx.mfx at 7:37 PM on July 25, 2013
Also, at around a year we found we needed to sort of rouse her in the middle of the night, just enough to reset the sleep cycle.
Our daughter was a sleep begets sleep kid; crappy naps meant early waking.
posted by dpx.mfx at 7:37 PM on July 25, 2013
Response by poster: Hmm. Thank you, everyone. There are some ideas here I haven't tried (like the toys in the crib thing - he is generally wanting to move and explore as soon as he wakes up, so I'm dubious, but it's worth a go!).
And I much appreciate the solidarity, TryTheTilapia!
Overall it looks like the consensus is divided between (a) fewer and more consolidated naps; and (b) baby sleep is a great mystery and it will change soon enough anyway, so don't drive yourself crazy trying to fix it. Unfortunately we can't consolidate or change the naps too much, due to the morning activities from 9am-10:30am that we are loathe to give up for other reasons, and which I am willing to put up with early morning waking in order to keep. So option (b) may be the way to go... although I'll try consolidating around our constraints to see if that does the trick.
Anyway, I'll keep checking this in case someone has the Brilliant Answer That Solves Everything so I won't mark it resolved just yet, but I did want to thank you all right now.
posted by forza at 7:52 PM on July 25, 2013
And I much appreciate the solidarity, TryTheTilapia!
Overall it looks like the consensus is divided between (a) fewer and more consolidated naps; and (b) baby sleep is a great mystery and it will change soon enough anyway, so don't drive yourself crazy trying to fix it. Unfortunately we can't consolidate or change the naps too much, due to the morning activities from 9am-10:30am that we are loathe to give up for other reasons, and which I am willing to put up with early morning waking in order to keep. So option (b) may be the way to go... although I'll try consolidating around our constraints to see if that does the trick.
Anyway, I'll keep checking this in case someone has the Brilliant Answer That Solves Everything so I won't mark it resolved just yet, but I did want to thank you all right now.
posted by forza at 7:52 PM on July 25, 2013
Too many naps for his age, is my guess. What would happen if you eliminate that first nap? (I would do that on a day he didn't have to go to an activity, if possible.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:58 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:58 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
We had something similar (not quite as early, fortunately) at about the same age. Still don't know why it happened, nothing we did appeared to affect it, but it was just a phase and eventually it stopped happening. 8-10 months is a notorious time for bad sleep and things do generally improve after that point!
We also moved from one long nap and two short ones to two long naps at about that age, but babies vary hugely in when they're ready to do that - the sign for us was when she consistently wouldn't fall asleep for the third nap.
posted by gnimmel at 2:23 AM on July 26, 2013
We also moved from one long nap and two short ones to two long naps at about that age, but babies vary hugely in when they're ready to do that - the sign for us was when she consistently wouldn't fall asleep for the third nap.
posted by gnimmel at 2:23 AM on July 26, 2013
I think the naps might be too short. We let our 10 month old champion sleeper take naps as long as he wants. For the last month+ he's been taking a 2-ish hour nap between 9:30-11:30AM and another hour nap at 2:30. Bedtime is 7:30 and he sleeps straight through until 6:30AM. He will sometimes wake and babble earlier than 6:30, but we don't go in until 6:30 unless something sounds wrong.
tl;dr- 2 longer naps and let him babble in the morning
posted by ThaBombShelterSmith at 4:35 AM on July 26, 2013
tl;dr- 2 longer naps and let him babble in the morning
posted by ThaBombShelterSmith at 4:35 AM on July 26, 2013
Best answer: I agree, you really need to drop to two naps. They tend to go to two naps by eight months, but usually before that. You could try: first nap three hours after wake up, second nap 3-3.5 hours after wake up, bedtime 3.5-4 hours after wake up. No sleeping after 4:00 so he gets to bed on time (my ten month old cant sleep after 3:30, so it might vary). This is a pretty standard schedule recommended in a few sleep books. At 10-11 months you can probably switch to set nap times of 9:30 and 2:30.
I also think the bedtime is too late and you should aim for seven. Once you drop the third nap, this will become fairly easy. In the beginning, you might need to use the shorter end of those ranges I gave above, to ward off crankiness. Whatever you do, give him a week to adjust. Don't just assume it's not working after the second night.
I think you're going to be better off adjusting whatever activity you're doing during nap 1, especially if the other option is adjusting your wake up time to five am. The third nap isn't going to be sustainable for much longer (if it even is now), and he will be going down to one nap in the next few months anyway.
posted by smalls at 4:43 AM on July 26, 2013
I also think the bedtime is too late and you should aim for seven. Once you drop the third nap, this will become fairly easy. In the beginning, you might need to use the shorter end of those ranges I gave above, to ward off crankiness. Whatever you do, give him a week to adjust. Don't just assume it's not working after the second night.
I think you're going to be better off adjusting whatever activity you're doing during nap 1, especially if the other option is adjusting your wake up time to five am. The third nap isn't going to be sustainable for much longer (if it even is now), and he will be going down to one nap in the next few months anyway.
posted by smalls at 4:43 AM on July 26, 2013
I'd cut down on the naps, too. we had a similar problem with my oldest, and eliminating or shortening a nap did the trick, IIRC.
she was a monster, as a result, but did sleep later and the tradeoff was worth it.
posted by jpe at 5:08 AM on July 26, 2013
she was a monster, as a result, but did sleep later and the tradeoff was worth it.
posted by jpe at 5:08 AM on July 26, 2013
Bad parent confession. At around a year old, we've come to a belated realization that our little one had long outgrown his teeny weeny baby blanket. Bigger blanket got us [slightly] better sleep.
posted by rada at 8:27 AM on July 26, 2013
posted by rada at 8:27 AM on July 26, 2013
There's also a well-known sleep regression at 8-9 months (search askmoxie). Helpful to be aware of, even if it doesn't help with solutions!
posted by wyzewoman at 8:42 AM on July 26, 2013
posted by wyzewoman at 8:42 AM on July 26, 2013
Three naps is not too many for a 9-month-old. I kept sleep logs for my kid, and he didn't drop the third nap till he was fully 10 months. A good friend's daughter the same age (a great sleeper) took three till she was a year.
Agree with other posters that the first nap is too short and maybe skip a few days of activities to see how it sorts out.
posted by purpleclover at 7:49 AM on July 27, 2013
Agree with other posters that the first nap is too short and maybe skip a few days of activities to see how it sorts out.
posted by purpleclover at 7:49 AM on July 27, 2013
Response by poster: Thought I'd post a follow-up...
We decided to try to consolidate his naps, since a lot of people suggested that the three small naps might be a problem. This required a fair amount of rearranging the morning activities, but once we accomplished that it was only a day of severe pain before he started napping at the new times (10am and 2:30pm). The next few mornings showed no change in when he was waking up -- in fact, one morning he got up at 4:40am -- but then...
.. he woke up at 7:30am. And then 7:15. And then 7:30 again. At this point it's been nearly a week and he hasn't woken up before 7am yet.
So I don't want to jump the gun, but I think we solved it, at least for now! With the extra sleep and no corresponding decrease in overall nap duration, he's getting about 2 more hours of sleep per day, which makes me think he was probably pretty sleep deprived before.
I used to be a bit dubious about the "sleep begets sleep" wisdom because I wasn't sure what the mechanism was. Well, colour me convinced... there was something to it, at least in this case.
And I am so happy to be getting to sleep in finally! Thank you everyone.
posted by forza at 4:51 AM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
We decided to try to consolidate his naps, since a lot of people suggested that the three small naps might be a problem. This required a fair amount of rearranging the morning activities, but once we accomplished that it was only a day of severe pain before he started napping at the new times (10am and 2:30pm). The next few mornings showed no change in when he was waking up -- in fact, one morning he got up at 4:40am -- but then...
.. he woke up at 7:30am. And then 7:15. And then 7:30 again. At this point it's been nearly a week and he hasn't woken up before 7am yet.
So I don't want to jump the gun, but I think we solved it, at least for now! With the extra sleep and no corresponding decrease in overall nap duration, he's getting about 2 more hours of sleep per day, which makes me think he was probably pretty sleep deprived before.
I used to be a bit dubious about the "sleep begets sleep" wisdom because I wasn't sure what the mechanism was. Well, colour me convinced... there was something to it, at least in this case.
And I am so happy to be getting to sleep in finally! Thank you everyone.
posted by forza at 4:51 AM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
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Your second nap seems very late in the day to me, given bedtime.
I put blackout curtains in my kids' rooms. I found they otherwise woke up in the summer.
That being said, both my kids saw big sleep changes at about 8-9 months, probably because they had learned how to cruise and wanted to practice as soon as they woke up. Plus they had made cognitive leaps (as any child does) and wanted to try everything out.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 5:32 PM on July 25, 2013 [1 favorite]