Please help me find my new hairstyle
July 19, 2013 2:20 PM Subscribe
Help a girl have her mid-40s rebellion: I'm fat and I want short hair. I'm totally willing to break the "fat girls shouldn't have short hair" rule, but what I don't understand is what kind of style will work because my hair is naturally wavy in the "jew-fro" style.
The natural state of my hair is akin to this woman's (just look at the photo and ignore the words). My haircolor is very dark brown, almost black, if it matters. But the texture and look is like that photo -- wavy tending toward frizziness.
I would really like to have a very short, slightly punk-ish style. But even when googling "short wavy hair" I'm seeing a lot of styles that have curliness or waviness to them, but also a lot of straightened bits.
My goal is to have a sort of rebellious, tousled look that will take almost no styling work. I'm willing to wash it, get out of the shower and perhaps put a little product in. No more than that, 'cause spending time on this sort of thing is just not what I'm capable of.
Thanks - and the reason this is Anon is because I want to keep questions about my physical appearance separate from my online presence.
The natural state of my hair is akin to this woman's (just look at the photo and ignore the words). My haircolor is very dark brown, almost black, if it matters. But the texture and look is like that photo -- wavy tending toward frizziness.
I would really like to have a very short, slightly punk-ish style. But even when googling "short wavy hair" I'm seeing a lot of styles that have curliness or waviness to them, but also a lot of straightened bits.
My goal is to have a sort of rebellious, tousled look that will take almost no styling work. I'm willing to wash it, get out of the shower and perhaps put a little product in. No more than that, 'cause spending time on this sort of thing is just not what I'm capable of.
Thanks - and the reason this is Anon is because I want to keep questions about my physical appearance separate from my online presence.
asymmetrical undercut pixie. like this. i want it but my hair hasn't grown out enough.
fat girls shouldn't have short hair is BULL SHIT.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 2:34 PM on July 19, 2013 [18 favorites]
fat girls shouldn't have short hair is BULL SHIT.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 2:34 PM on July 19, 2013 [18 favorites]
I didn't come into this thread prepared to have an opinion, but wow, seconding misanthropicsarah! That haircut is awesome and it looks great on her.
posted by en forme de poire at 2:55 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by en forme de poire at 2:55 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm chubby, I have short hair, I love it. Check out my profile pic which basically shows that I have slightly wavy layered short hair (sorry it's a silhouette, but you get the idea). I now live in a dry climate so I use the Garnier Fructis Moroccan oil that is amazing and keeps my hair shiny and manageable. I basically take a shower in the morning, dry my hair with a towel, rub in the oil, and just use a tiny bit of mouse to re-direct my hair. Flip my head upside down and blow dry for less than a minute. Done. By the way, it's a $20 cheap hair cut that I've kept trimmed.
posted by HeyAllie at 3:01 PM on July 19, 2013
posted by HeyAllie at 3:01 PM on July 19, 2013
I posted this lovely hairdo a while back in another ask.me. I still think it is great.
posted by travelwithcats at 3:08 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by travelwithcats at 3:08 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Short, wavy bob! Bobs are good for just about any face shape. Side-swept bangs are flattering, too.
I recommend a really good conditioner. I use this leave-in one on super-humid days.
Then you want miracle serum or a good firm control gel for styling. Both help to keep your hair looking tousled and manageable instead of super-frizzy.
The miracle serum and the macadamia nut conditioner I linked are really expensive, but I use them both, and a little bit goes a long way. Plus the stuff really works!
posted by misha at 3:08 PM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I recommend a really good conditioner. I use this leave-in one on super-humid days.
Then you want miracle serum or a good firm control gel for styling. Both help to keep your hair looking tousled and manageable instead of super-frizzy.
The miracle serum and the macadamia nut conditioner I linked are really expensive, but I use them both, and a little bit goes a long way. Plus the stuff really works!
posted by misha at 3:08 PM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
You should think about rocking the frizz like St. Vincent. Not using product is a pretty edgy look right now.
posted by steinwald at 3:09 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by steinwald at 3:09 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I didn't mean the length necessarily, just the texture. I saw her play recently and it was stunning.
posted by steinwald at 3:12 PM on July 19, 2013
posted by steinwald at 3:12 PM on July 19, 2013
As a data point, I loved my short hair once the cut was right, but it took much more time and attention to style than my usual long hair style. As soon as I figured out how to style it, it would grow just enough to not work again - repeat. I've never had so many bad hair days as when I had very short hair. My hair grows fast, though - so YMMV.
I like going to the Aveda Institute when I have long hair, but I went to them to cut a pixie cut with texture it was a disaster. Even though the Aveda instructor ended up doing 2/3 of my cut (the student was out of her depth), I ended up with a non-textured man's style cut. Not cute.
When I look at pics from the time I had that hairstyle, they're cute and the no short hair for fat girls rule is BS.
posted by quince at 3:22 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I like going to the Aveda Institute when I have long hair, but I went to them to cut a pixie cut with texture it was a disaster. Even though the Aveda instructor ended up doing 2/3 of my cut (the student was out of her depth), I ended up with a non-textured man's style cut. Not cute.
When I look at pics from the time I had that hairstyle, they're cute and the no short hair for fat girls rule is BS.
posted by quince at 3:22 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
How about a side shave? Looks edgy and works well with wavy or curly hair.
posted by vanitas at 3:49 PM on July 19, 2013
posted by vanitas at 3:49 PM on July 19, 2013
One thing that helped me when I decided to chop my hair off again last summer was printing out photos of me from the front, side, and back (waist-up and full length) and playing around with drawing hair silhouettes on them until I got something that really flattered me. I was then able to describe to my stylist what I needed. Short hair can look fantastic if you're heavy, but you have to think a bit more about shape and especially balance. Having wavy hair will help, though. Good luck!
posted by Gingersnap at 4:15 PM on July 19, 2013
posted by Gingersnap at 4:15 PM on July 19, 2013
As another data point, with a good short cut, all I have to do is run a comb through it, put some product on and tousle it a bit while it dries naturally.
As far as the punky attitude goes, I've seen a lot of people rocking really bright color recently, too. Nice.
I think a good cut is key, though.
posted by misha at 4:21 PM on July 19, 2013
As far as the punky attitude goes, I've seen a lot of people rocking really bright color recently, too. Nice.
I think a good cut is key, though.
posted by misha at 4:21 PM on July 19, 2013
Pick up a copy of "David Kibbe's Metamorphosis." Do the questionairre. Determine your type. It will have some advice on what works regardless of length.
I have curly hair. I am not petite. I keep my hair pretty short and usually get compliments (nevermind a couple of dreadfully bad cuts recently which were both rooted in poor communication with the stylist, at least one of whom clearly lacked basic skills).
posted by Michele in California at 4:25 PM on July 19, 2013
I have curly hair. I am not petite. I keep my hair pretty short and usually get compliments (nevermind a couple of dreadfully bad cuts recently which were both rooted in poor communication with the stylist, at least one of whom clearly lacked basic skills).
posted by Michele in California at 4:25 PM on July 19, 2013
I think my hair and my level of willingness to put work into it are similar to yours. I mostly deal with this by keeping my hair under about 1/2" long except for something you might vaguely describe as "bangs" (which sort of stick up like part of a fauxhawk rather than going across my forehead) in the front and sometimes a little length in the sideburns area.
posted by needs more cowbell at 4:48 PM on July 19, 2013
posted by needs more cowbell at 4:48 PM on July 19, 2013
The best thing I did for my wavy hair was find a stylist who's good at cutting curly hair. I think I used this tool to find her. I am a fat woman and started wearing my hair in a short bob a few months ago and I have gotten SO many compliments on this cut that I just pass on to my stylist because all I did was sit down in her chair one day when I was particularly fed up with my stringy waves and say, "I'm thinking about a rounded bob". (Haircuts are all magic to me because I wear glasses and after we've consulted for a few minutes and the scissors come out I can't see exactly what's happening.)
In the past I've had short hairstyles that either gave me triangle head (you know, when the top is limp and the sides get poofy - always a danger with wavy hair), or hair that went all over the place in an I Don't Own A Mirror way as opposed to an attractively tousled way, or when it was super-short a man's style cut instead of a pixie all because the person cutting my hair did so as if it was straight. You do not want these things. Find someone who gets your hair and will be able to work with you to give you what you want.
posted by camyram at 8:40 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
In the past I've had short hairstyles that either gave me triangle head (you know, when the top is limp and the sides get poofy - always a danger with wavy hair), or hair that went all over the place in an I Don't Own A Mirror way as opposed to an attractively tousled way, or when it was super-short a man's style cut instead of a pixie all because the person cutting my hair did so as if it was straight. You do not want these things. Find someone who gets your hair and will be able to work with you to give you what you want.
posted by camyram at 8:40 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I shaved my head when I was at my heaviest and I've received nothing but compliments as my hair has grown out. I have been told that I suit short hair so often that I now believe it. (I am losing weight but I am still chubby). I have hair similar in texture to yours, although my waves are nowhere near as uniform as the picture you showed in your post - my hair is a little bit more difficult.
Right now, my hair is just long enough to cover my ears. It's probably going to take another 3-4 months to get close to shoulder-length, if I decide to grow it out that long. Some days I wash my hair, throw a little bit of styling cream into it, and let it air dry. It's kind of puffy and wild if I do that but whatever. If I have a little bit more time, I'll wash my hair, let it dry, and then half-assedly straighten the parts framing my face, but leave the rest of it wild and wavy. It seems like that is the best look (i.e. gets the most compliments). If I straighten all of my hair, it looks kind of boring, but I do like it smooth.
I think "fat girls shouldn't have short hair" is bullshit. Good luck!
posted by gursky at 11:26 PM on July 19, 2013
Right now, my hair is just long enough to cover my ears. It's probably going to take another 3-4 months to get close to shoulder-length, if I decide to grow it out that long. Some days I wash my hair, throw a little bit of styling cream into it, and let it air dry. It's kind of puffy and wild if I do that but whatever. If I have a little bit more time, I'll wash my hair, let it dry, and then half-assedly straighten the parts framing my face, but leave the rest of it wild and wavy. It seems like that is the best look (i.e. gets the most compliments). If I straighten all of my hair, it looks kind of boring, but I do like it smooth.
I think "fat girls shouldn't have short hair" is bullshit. Good luck!
posted by gursky at 11:26 PM on July 19, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
Go to a good salon and get a consultation. Thumb through some hairstyle sites and see what you like. Aim for something attainable with your hair. Have pictures to show your stylist.
I go to the Aveda Institute, pay $20 and I get a very nice consultation, we discussed what I liked about the styles I selected, and after consulting with my student and her educator, I have a hairstyle that I get a bazillion compliments on.
Ask for product recommendations. I use oil on my hair (after YEARS of using shampoo to rid my hair of oil) and that helps keep it shiny with no frizz.
Your curls could work very nicely with a short, punky do, just gel them up!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 2:25 PM on July 19, 2013