Shenanigans: Facebook or other?

July 17, 2013 4:48 PM

On Facebook, I received a friend request from Miller. Did Miller send it?

There's some evidence he didn't:
a. He says he didn't.
b. He despises me.
c. FB was caught a few years back doing something similar, I recall. You'd see a purported 'friend request' TO you, and then, if you 'confirmed' it, the other party would receive a purported 'friend request' FROM you. Nobody but FB had actually initiated anything.
.
So what's more likely? 1) FB is doing this or 2) My non-friend is lying. Or 3) Other.

posted by LonnieK to Computers & Internet (6 answers total)

3. Other. Sounds like someone has suggested you as friends for each other - IIRC that's how that plays out...
posted by Chairboy at 4:51 PM on July 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

What are your options for dealing with the friend request? Are they:
"Confirm" and "Not Now"
or:
"Add Friend" and "Ignore"

If they are the former, that is what a friend request looks like, whether he meant to send it or not.

If they are the latter, that is what Chairboy said -- someone suggested you as friends for each other (probably relatively accidentally, via a contact upload or a prompt or something). This is what you mean by option c -- FB was never initiating anything like that on its own, it was just a third party initiating it for both people.
posted by brainmouse at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

Are you viewing this friend request via your computer's web browser or your phone's Facebook app? On the latter, suggestions look like requests.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:11 PM on July 17, 2013

I check the "people you may know" list pretty often. Recently, I got a lot of confirmations from people that I never actively friend-requested. My theory is that when I check that list from my phone, I accidentally friend-request people because of the tiny screen and my big fingers. It could have been something like that, but this is a guess.
posted by lakersfan1222 at 6:35 PM on July 17, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think there may be some sort of error going on, because I have received two friend confirmations from people I do not know and definitely did no intentionally add. I'm not overly bothered by either of these people showing up-- they and I have a lot of mutual friends, and I am sure they're lovely people-- but yeah, it's unnerving, and I wish it would stop. I don't know who else thinks I am trying to add them. I am hoping nothing weird happens.
posted by Because at 7:36 PM on July 18, 2013

Response by poster: Appreciate all answers.
Unfortunately I didn't take a screen shot, but I think it was Confirm / Not Now. It was at the top of the list that shows when I click the friend request icon, and they all display like that; I think I would have noticed if it had been different.

Further data: It disappeared from the list shortly after I inquired of the supposed perp.
posted by LonnieK at 8:00 AM on July 20, 2013