Movies/television shows: Ordering food or drinks in an outrageous manner
June 27, 2013 12:47 PM   Subscribe

I am looking for suggestions where characters order food or drinks in an outrageous manner. The scene can take place at a restaurant or bar (not a private party). Their behavior can be funny, rude, or just strange. It is not about what they order, but how they do it.

Example: In Blow-Up, a waiter is bringing plates of food to another table. The photographer stands up, grabs the waiter by the arm, examines the plates, point to one of them, points to himself, and then sits down. (It really captures the photographer's egotism and eccentricity.)
posted by 99percentfake to Media & Arts (75 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
Five Easy Pieces
posted by mkultra at 12:50 PM on June 27, 2013 [11 favorites]

L. A. Story ordering coffee.

"I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-calf with a twist of lemon."
posted by BrashTech at 12:51 PM on June 27, 2013 [4 favorites]

Meg Ryan does this a lot in When Harry Met Sally.
posted by NoraCharles at 12:53 PM on June 27, 2013 [9 favorites]

Meg Ryan ordering lunch in Sleepless in Seattle.
posted by jquinby at 12:53 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I meant Harry and Sally. Rats. That movie that she was in with that guy.
posted by jquinby at 12:55 PM on June 27, 2013 [7 favorites]

Right before the famous stateroom scene in "A Night at the Opera," Groucho Marx places a very interesting food order. ("And three hard-boiled eggs.") *goes off to watch it and laugh*
posted by Melismata at 12:55 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

The song "La Vie Boheme" from the musical RENT is the characters ordering food at a cafe (among other things, I'll admit). It's well preserved in the movie.
posted by telegraph at 12:59 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

I can't find a YouTube link (in the time I have here at work) but in Get Shorty (if I remember correctly) Danny DeVito's character orders special off-menu stuff for everyone in his group, not allowing them to order at all, then leaves before the food even comes. Because that's the Hollywood way.
posted by The Deej at 1:00 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Four fried chickens. And a Coke.
posted by bondcliff at 1:05 PM on June 27, 2013 [8 favorites]

"I'll have the lot." (Warning: disgusting)
posted by jbickers at 1:05 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

I haven't seen the movie, but apparently in Five Easy Pieces, there's a scene in which Jack Nicholson wants toast but the waitress says it isn't on the menu, so he asks for a toasted chicken salad sandwich, hold the mayonnaise, hold the butter, hold the lettuce... and hold the chicken salad.
posted by cider at 1:07 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Chris Traeger from Parks and Recreation always orders things in an overly cheery mood, with everything in it's own complete sentence.
"I would like a steak.
I would like the steak medium rare.
I would like the steak with a side of lightly steam broccoli"
posted by FirstMateKate at 1:12 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

Again from from Parks and Rec: Ron Swanson wants all the bacon and eggs you have.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:13 PM on June 27, 2013 [16 favorites]

I don't remember the movie (I thought it was Wallstreet) with a man rattling the ice in his empty glass to attract the attention of the waiter/bartender. Perhaps it was tothe attention of a woman in a bar, dunno, but obnoxious either way.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:14 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Almost everyone who has to deal with Basil Fawlty ends up ordering outrageously, whether it's a Waldorf salad or a gin and orange, a lemon squash and a Scotch and soda please.
posted by kinetic at 1:17 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

The scenes where Rat and Stacey order dinner at the German restaurant in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" are kind of funny...the oversized chairs, the sinister music when the hulking waitress comes along, his automatically ordering two of everything, etc. (Though I guess it's funnier when you've seen the scenes that lead up to it.)
posted by Melismata at 1:19 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

In his weird movie about counterfeiting (? or something), F for Fake, Orson Welles makes an infamous order:
"As several courses of seafood come and go across the restaurant table at which Welles holds court, and conclude[s] with a gargantuan lobster — a dish that is nonetheless preceded by Welles’s passing the waiter a plate of mussels and requesting in an off-hand tone: “Would you take this away please and, — and bring me the steak au poivre, thanks a lot. —” "

The linked essay seems like it is worth reading. I can't seem to find a YouTube clip, but googling the phrase "bring me the steak au poivre" brings up several web references. I've only seen the movie once, and didn't pick up on the weirdness/self-indulgence-ness of the line at the time, but Tom Scharpling periodically mentions it on the Best Show on WFMU. Thanks Tom.
posted by mean square error at 1:19 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Hey, Underpants!
posted by bondcliff at 1:19 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

The scene at the French restaurant from The Jerk.
posted by tau_ceti at 1:22 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

If memory serves, several of the $10 bets on the television show deal with ordering items. Someone on YouTube has collected them. Here's the first instalment starting at the first restaurant related bet.
posted by backwards guitar at 1:28 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thor: "Another!"
posted by egeanin at 1:36 PM on June 27, 2013 [5 favorites]

From Arrested Development: "I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it."
posted by lovableiago at 1:39 PM on June 27, 2013 [8 favorites]

In Back to School Rodney Dangerfield says, "Bring us a pitcher or beer every five minutes until somebody passes out and then bring us one every seven."
posted by Confess, Fletch at 1:40 PM on June 27, 2013 [8 favorites]

In the TV series M*A*S*H, there are many funny scenes when they order drinks in the Officers' club. There's one where Hawkeye describes how he wants his martini: "so dry, it should have dust on it," or something like that.
posted by Melismata at 1:54 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

In "Groundhog Day" I believe Bill Murray orders the entire menu at the one sitting.
posted by Busmick at 1:57 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Caddyshack: "You'll get nothing and like it!!!!"
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:59 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

In the Thin Man, Nora Charles joins Nick Charles at a restaurant, where he's been waiting a while for her to arrive. As their drinks are served she asks Nick how many drinks he's already had.
Nick: This will make six martinis.
A viewer expects her to reproach him for being on his sixth martini. Instead:
Nora (to the waiter): All right, will you bring me five more martinis? Line them up right here.
posted by third rail at 2:04 PM on June 27, 2013 [4 favorites]

Back to the Future: "Give me a milk... chocolate!"

Also in Groundhog day, Bill Murray at the bar: "Could I have another one of these with some booze in it?"
posted by usonian at 2:13 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh Caddyshack, you just keep on giving....
posted by bobdow at 2:16 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka: "How much for an order of ribs?"
posted by RobotHero at 2:20 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

Dude, Where's My Car?: "... and then?"
posted by mkultra at 2:21 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

I don't know if this is outrageous, but I've always enjoyed Dale Cooper fastidiously ordering breakfast at the Great Norther in Twin Peaks: "You know, this is — excuse me — a damn fine cup of coffee! Now, I'd like two eggs, over hard. I know, don't tell me; it's hard on the arteries, but old habits die hard — just about as hard as I want those eggs. Bacon, super-crispy. Almost burned. Cremated. That's great. And, I'll have the grapefruit juice, just as long as those grapefruits are freshly squeezed"
posted by voiceofreason at 2:29 PM on June 27, 2013 [6 favorites]

Monty Python - the Meaning of Life. warning: puke
posted by dawkins_7 at 2:32 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

In Defending Your Life the newly dead can eat whatever they like and not get fat. The more evolved eat something that looks and tastes vile to the newbies.
posted by brujita at 2:32 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yes, Fawlty Towers is full of this. Example.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:33 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Ron Swanson is gold for this. For example: "I'll have 12 eggs & a part of some dead animal - dealer's choice. Please & Thank You."

& my favorite Swanson moment, "I know what I'm about, son."
posted by fireandthud at 2:37 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

Always Sunny in Philadelphia
“The Waitress is Getting Married” (Season 5)::

Charlie: “Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans ... raw.”
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:56 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

It's not quite what you're requesting, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention David Lee Roth's "Gimme a bottle of anything... and a glazed donut... to go!" in the prelude to the "Yankee Rose" video.
posted by entropicamericana at 3:05 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh, and Homer ordering at IRS Burger:
Homer: Lesse, I'll have four tax burgers, one IRS-wich, withhold the
lettuce, four dependent-sized sodas, and a FICA-ccino.
Kid: Fill out schedule B. You should receive your burgers in six
to eight weeks.
posted by entropicamericana at 3:14 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh, and how could we have forgotten Colin the chicken from Portlandia?!
posted by third rail at 3:17 PM on June 27, 2013 [8 favorites]

Another classic from the Blues Brothers!

Three Orange Whips

According to the YouTube comments, this was an ad-lib by John Candy. Huh.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 3:46 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]

Pulp Fiction, John Travolta and Uma Thurman in Jack Rabbit Slim's?
posted by Sebmojo at 3:47 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

In Baby Mama, Tina Fey very precisely orders a cheese steak:
I'll have a large steak with provolone, no Cheez Whiz, no onions, peppers on the side, don't overcook the meat. Also, I'd like you to slice me a new fresh roll, because those ones have been sitting out for a long time. I want a Birch Beer, cold, no cup. You really should consider changing those Styrofoam cups to paper ones, because they're very bad for the environment.
posted by macadamiaranch at 3:48 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

The movie Rain Man has several scenes where Dustin Hoffman, as the savant Rain Man (Ray), is trying to get his brother, played by Tom Cruise, to order him something specific, like pancakes with toothpicks, on the schedule he was accustomed to at his former boarding home/institution.

The movie Michael with John Travolta, Andie MacDowell, and William Hurt has a scene where all the characters, traveling together by car to Chicago, stop for a dinner that turns into a "pie fest" in which they order two slices of every kind of pie the restaurant has, with ice cream on the side, and then proceed to eat it all in shared sampling fashion. In the middle of it, Andie MacDowell sings her Pie Song.

In the movie Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta as Tony Manero nervously orders "lemon with tea" for Stephanie the first time she goes out with him for coffee, after she announces that she's recently begun drinking tea instead of coffee at her Manhattan office job, because she's seen women executives at her office drinking it, and thinks it is "more refined."
posted by paulsc at 4:48 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

We must have waffles.
posted by rhapsodie at 5:11 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

Inglourious Bastards--Colonel Hans Landa orders strudel.
posted by Ideefixe at 5:17 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

I can't find a clip, but Davy Jones in Head:

"I'd like a glass of cold gravy with a hair in it, please."
posted by triggerfinger at 6:14 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

A boisterous American barges in on the opening of a restaurant and adds to the chaos in Jacques Tati's Playtime. I don't think he actually orders any food, just helps himself, but he buys drinks later in the cafe. I can't find a clip that showcases him, but he's dancing in this trailer at about 2:02.

...hold on, here's a edited compilation with quite a bit of the American, but it's badly dubbed in Spanish. Tati did so much with sound editing that it's hardly the same movie.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:20 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

In Pushing Tin, a large group of air traffic controllers out for lunch order their food rapidfire; the waiter is overwhelmed, so one of the air traffic controllers (John Cusack) walks back to the kitchen and delivers the large order directly to the kitchen staff, from memory.

It's funnier than this description makes it sound.
posted by stebulus at 9:22 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

Niles in Frasier:

Niles: Double Cappuccino, half-caf, not-fat milk, with just enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing but not so much that it leaves a moustache.
Eric: Cinnamon or chocolate on that?
Niles: Oh, they make this so complicated.

Niles: I'll, I'd like a, a petit filet mignon, very lean, not so lean that it lacks flavour, but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate. And I don't want it cooked - just lightly seared on either side, pink in the middle; not a true pink, but not a mauve either, something in between, bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.

and his doppelgänger:
Rodney Banks: About my coffee, I neglected to mention that I like my milk steamed - with a dollop of foam such as might give the effect of a cumulus cloud reflected upon a still pond.
posted by runincircles at 12:26 AM on June 28, 2013 [5 favorites]

Key and Peele - Soul Food. One upmanship at it's finest.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 1:24 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Back to the Future where Marty is all, "Give me a 'Pepsi Free'"

And the barman is like, "If you want a Pepsi, you're going to have to pay for it."
posted by Dimes at 1:25 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, in the diner just before the movie takes a really unpleasant turn, Benecio del Toro's character repeatedly demands a glass of ice water with ice. Very insistent on there being ice in the glass of ice water. Creepy.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:27 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Falling Down: "I want breakfast."
posted by FJT at 3:06 AM on June 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

This guy on Little Britain.
posted by lemerle at 6:48 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

More Simpsons:

Moe: Hey hey, [waiter], I need another Magnum of your best Champagne here huh. And bring us the finest food you've got stuffed with the second finest.

Waiter: Excellent sir. Lobster, stuffed with Tacos
posted by crLLC at 6:59 AM on June 28, 2013 [4 favorites]

I cannot find video online, but this 1991 SNL skit featuring George Wendt ordering for a family of five at a drive-thru is painfully funny.
posted by usonian at 7:22 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

In the sitcom "Alice", there's a scene where someone (Earl?) places a long order for his youth sports team, describing all the different ways he wants the hamburgers cooked, it's funny.
posted by Melismata at 11:16 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Starsky and Hutch (Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson movie version) when Starsky (Stiller) is trying to convince Hutch (Wilson) to put on these "tough guy" characters when they're undercover at a party.

Bit of a set up but when they order drinks they use this catch phrase, "do it" and squick/confuse the waitress. Here is the scene. I don't know why but it cracks me up every time.
posted by sweetkid at 11:55 AM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

There's an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia called "The Gang Dines Out." Don't remember specifics on their ordering, but a lot of the episode is one or more of them giving a waiter hell.
posted by cnc at 12:18 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

This question immediately made me think of one of the boyfriend/fuck you scenes in Snuff Box, indexed in this video (scene in question is at about 1:41). Very rude.
posted by ltisz at 12:58 PM on June 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: All of these examples are much appreciated and I thank everyone for taking the time to share their answers.

(I'm not going to do my normal bullet list summation because I think the answers are already short and the contextual links are more important.)
posted by 99percentfake at 7:01 PM on July 1, 2013

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