How do I get rid of two cats?

June 18, 2013 10:17 AM

I have two cats I don't want. How do I get rid of them in a way that doesn't take months and gives them a good chance of going to someone who will actually want them.

They are perfectly decent cats. One pukes up hairballs more often than average, but they are both personable, like to be petted, always use the litterbox, are good with kids, etc. I just don't want them. I never wanted them. I only have them because my wife had cats when I met her, and so I inherited them. My wife died at the beginning of this year and now I'm stuck with these two cats that I just find incredibly annoying. I'm already a single father of a toddler, and I feel like that gives me plenty to deal with, and so the last thing I want to do is clean litterboxes and wipe up cat vomit and listen to clean hair off of everything. The only reason I keep them, really, is out of a sense of guilt because taking animals you don't want to the SPCA is no longer socially acceptable.

What can I do with these cats? I live in the greater San Francisco Bay Area (Santa Cruz County).

posted by tylerkaraszewski to Pets & Animals (22 answers total)

Call a rescue organization. Explain what's going on, I'm sure they can find an emergency foster person to take in the kitties until they can be re-homed.

The other thing is, can you hire a kid to come in and do cat maintenance for you so you can concentrate on dealing with the rest of your overwhelming life?

The kid you want is about 10 and has a helicopter parent. Pay the kid $10 a week to come in, clean the litter, and do vomit and hair patrol. Even alternate days will alleviate the stress you're feeling.

Here is a resource of no-kill shelters in your area.

I am so sorry that you're in this position, it must be a real strain for you.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:22 AM on June 18, 2013 [9 favorites]

You could do Petfinder, or you could put up a sign at your vet's office. You might consider delegating the job to someone else - maybe there is a cat- and internet-savvy friend who's offered to help if you need anything? - to handle. There's a fair amount of back-and-forth to rehoming pets, and with a toddler you've got your hands extra full.

You could certainly call (or have your delegate call) the city/county SPCA and see if they have contact info for a group or person who can help you.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:22 AM on June 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm sorry for your loss.

My easiest suggestion (though most costly) would be to find a no-kill rescue group that can take them and a sizeable official monetary donation.
posted by tilde at 10:22 AM on June 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

Maybe reach out to your friend network to see if anyone can take them? Certainly people will want to support you given what you've been through.
posted by quince at 10:25 AM on June 18, 2013

The only reason I keep them, really, is out of a sense of guilt because taking animals you don't want to the SPCA is no longer socially acceptable.

I'll be the one to bite the bullet and say: Who cares what other people (even Mefites) think? If the SPCA ends up being your only option, you should avail yourself of it and feel no guilt. Your life is hard enough already. Good luck to you, friend.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:30 AM on June 18, 2013 [61 favorites]

I absolutely think you should surrender them to the SPCA. If your local one gives you trouble, come up and surrender them at the Peninsula Humane Society; they have a 100 percent adoption rate for adoptable animals.
posted by purpleclover at 10:34 AM on June 18, 2013 [6 favorites]

I'm sorry for your loss. And I understand your frustration; animal lovers sometimes forget how hard it is to live with pets you don't love.

Nthing finding a no-kill shelter/rescue group who will help; most of them do their homework on potential adopters and will make sure they go to good people. Many groups have a foster program and might let you keep the cats in your home as "fosters" while they find interested and suitable adopters. This would free up space in their shelter facility as well as cutting down on the stress of moving the cats there.

I have heard warnings of people "adopting" cats from Craigslist postings to use in animal testing and so on, and I've heard that charging a "rehoming fee" can deter this, but for all I know this could be an urban legend. Regardless, it's probably best to let a rescue or shelter do the work of finding adopters.

Thank you for doing right by the cats. Sometimes rehoming a pet is the most loving thing you can do for it. Hang in there.
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:41 AM on June 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

If you're not going to take them to your *local* SPCA, be sure to find out before you go if the further-away SPCA will even take animals from other areas. Some won't and you won't want to make the drive and have the stress just to have to turn around and take them home again.

Do this without guilt - you have plenty on your plate.
posted by thatone at 10:44 AM on June 18, 2013

I would also ask the local pet shop. Mine frequently has Adoption Days with the local humane society and should be a good local resource. The pet shops also has bulletin board space for adoptions, so you might be able to put one up.
posted by jmd82 at 10:46 AM on June 18, 2013

If my experience in Minneapolis is any indication, when you call no-kill shelters, emphasise that their owner has died. You needn't explain that they're your wife's cats (and it's probably to your advantage to not say that). Basically, every no-kill shelter I called would only take cats whose owners had either died or gone to nursing homes. That I was willing to keep the cat even temporarily seemed to work against me in some cases because he had a 'home', even if I'd only taken him to stop Animal Control killing him! (I did find a shelter with a waiting list in the end, so the fact I could keep him for a while ended up being a plus.)

It was suggested that I try finding a nursing home that was interested in a communal cat. I ultimately didn't contact anywhere, so I have no idea if this was likely to work.

Craigslist and Petfinder failed entirely. I got one response who was pretty clearly sketchy.

I had a much less appealing cat to re-home than it sounds like these two are, so you'll probably have an easier time both with asking friends and with shelters.
posted by hoyland at 10:47 AM on June 18, 2013 [4 favorites]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Nthing SPCA or other local shelter with the explanation that their owner died and that you cannot care for them. You may want to make a donation as well (our local shelter will allow people to pay the adoption fee up front, so that others will be more likely to adopt these cats) and donate their food and litter to help defray costs of sheltering these animals.

On preview: What hoyland said.
posted by absquatulate at 10:52 AM on June 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

Try calling The Santa Cruz Animal Shelter? Here are their notes on surrendering an animal. They are not exactly a no-kill shelter, but their FAQ explains there is no time limit for adoption on healthy, adjusted pets, that they only euthanize if an animal is "sick, severely injured, or too aggressive or behaviorally unsound to be placed up for adoption". I would feel OK about cats like yours there.

Another option is to call the San Francisco SPCA and ask them for advice on where you can leave the cats. They are an excellent humane organization.

If you feel any remaining guilt, note that an animal shelter will almost certainly recommend a suggested donation when you drop off an animal (Santa Cruz suggests $35 for a cat). The one time I had to surrender a cat (an adoption from the shelter that didn't work out) I found that paying for the service made me feel better.

I'm sorry for your loss. Simplifying your life is entirely a reasonable thing to do, particularly with a child to care for.
posted by Nelson at 10:54 AM on June 18, 2013 [6 favorites]

Do you know where they were adopted from? Many shelters and rescue organizations have the adopter sign an agreement that states that the animal will be returned to the shelter/organization if for any reason the adopter can no longer care for the animal. Responsible breeders will have similar arrangements in place. They'll accept the animals no questions asked, and they'll get them readopted.

My elderly neighbor across the street passed away unexpectedly recently, and when I asked her family what I could do to help, they said, "Please find a new home for her dog." Turns out the dog was adopted from the East Bay SPCA, so back he went, where they welcomed him with open arms and treats and love. Three days later, he was adopted into a new home.

Failing that, if they received regular vet care, reach out to the vet's office and see if they can help.

You're doing the right thing. You have no reason to feel guilty.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by jesourie at 10:56 AM on June 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

This is pretty much what Facebook is for. If you don't want to deal with the social stigma of giving up your late wife's pets (which is totally understandable), collaborate with a trustworthy, local SF friend. Take photos, have your friend post them on their Facebook with a note saying the owner has died, and let your friend be the one to vet responses and finally to put you in touch with the one or two people who come through.

You know all those people who said "Let me know if there's anything I can do"? This is one of those things one of those people can do.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:57 AM on June 18, 2013 [43 favorites]

Like others have said, I'm sorry for your loss.

In addition to the ideas here, you might also check out Reddit. As weird as this sounds, a flyer my wife made when we were trying to get a rescue cat adopted ended up there, and it ended up getting the interest up to the point where we got him successfully adopted through one of our local no-kill shelters. Posting on the local subreddit, and explaining the situation, might get it in front of the right eyeballs.
posted by BZArcher at 11:09 AM on June 18, 2013

I'd ask a friend to call around to shelters and foster organizations. I think your intention to rehome the cats is totally reasonable and appropriate. I also know that the types of people who care enough about animals to work in animal rescue can sometimes be, shall we say, less than empathetic when dealing with humans. (Not all animal rescue employees and volunteers, obviously, but it's not exactly uncommon.) So, I'd enlist someone else to run interference for you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by Meg_Murry at 11:10 AM on June 18, 2013

Take them to a shelter, tell them it was your wifes cats and that she passed. Nobody will give you any grief for doing this. Yours is a valid reason and better than the people who leave animals behind when they move. I do volunteer at a shelter.
posted by Ferrari328 at 11:36 AM on June 18, 2013

When we lived in the area, I took my cats to East Lake Veterinary in Watsonville. They usually had cats that they were trying to adopt out. You could call them and explain and see if they would take them. A better bet would be the vet that your wife took them to. Call them, explain that you can't handle the stress and want a home for the cats where they will be loved. See if they can help you.

If they mouse, you could check with feed stores to see if they need a couple of resident cats to keep the mice down that will be friendly with customers. There are two stores right across from each other in Corralitos, and at least one feed store that I remember in Santa Cruz, another one on Freedom in Watsonville. There are probably stores up in Scotts Valley, Felton and north as well, but I didn't get up that way often.

It is a pretty hard hearted person who would judge you in this situation. There is only so much stress that a person can handle, and if you feel the cats would be better off in a different home, then they most certainly will be better off.

wife of 445supermag
posted by 445supermag at 11:55 AM on June 18, 2013

I admit to judging people who rehome animals for bad/flaky reasons. This is totally different, it's a very real reason.

I think you should delegate the entire task to a friend - the friend can come over take pictures, post them on Facebook, call the vet or shelters or whatever.
posted by insectosaurus at 1:06 PM on June 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Your late wife's friends could be a possible source of good homes. Is there a mutual friend who could pass the word along via Facebook or some such? People who already know these cats might want them.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:21 PM on June 18, 2013

My condolences on your wife's untimely passing. Is it possible that someone from her life, a relative or friend, would want to take them off your hands? I can imagine it might be a comfort to someone who cared about her to take over the care of her animals. When my uncle had terminal cancer, I tried to match up his dog with a friend who was looking to adopt a dog. I wanted to keep the dog in my life. You could try sending out a group email to her other loved ones who have survived her that says something like:

"[Child] and I miss [Wife] every day, as I'm sure you do, too. Unfortunately, the responsibilities of being a single father leave me with little time to give [Wife]'s cats, [Cat1] and [Cat2] the care and attention they deserve. I have made the decision to find a new home for them as soon as possible. If you or someone you know is able to give them a good permanent home, please let me know right away. They are well-behaved with no health problems."

Note that I would leave out the parts about the barfing and the fur, which are nigh-universal cat conditions that do not bear mentioning. Attach cute pictures.

If that email stays out for a few days with no bites, then approach one of the above-listed shelters. But there may be someone in your wife's circles who would love to have this small part of her that's left, but isn't asking after them because they think the cats are a comfort to you.
posted by cirocco at 3:26 PM on June 18, 2013 [7 favorites]

DarlingBri has it - this is the moment to give all those people bugging you to let them help you something to do. I agree that you shouldn't feel bad if the SPCA is your only option, but hopefully you can outsource this and the cats don't have to be collateral damage.
posted by amycup at 7:17 PM on June 18, 2013