Pick my daycare! What am I missing?
June 9, 2013 7:14 PM Subscribe
None of my normal "brainstorming bounce-off" people are available to chew over this question with me... and I need to choose a home daycare and confirm one or the other by TOMORROW. Eek! Which one should I pick? Disclaimer: I got really good vibes from both, liked them a lot, so I can't decide just based on personality and trust. I looked at tons of places, and these were my two favorites. I'm looking for someone to watch my two-and-a-half year old daughter and my eight-month old son.
(A) woman with no kids of her own, but many years of child care experience, and good references; she watches about 4 kids right now, so with mine it would be six. Clean home, worked with a child psychologist for many years and has tons of experience. Her full-time fee works for me. Has a yard but it's being re-done right now (it will be done in a month or so). Feeds the kids healthy, seems to know what she's doing. We talked for about two hours.
(B) stay-at-home-mom with a small child about my daughter's age plus one toddler boy (so with mine, it would be 4). She lives in a ground floor apartment, so there's no yard, but she has a water table and a playhouse on the patio. She is used to work in a daycare. I liked the smaller teacher/child ratio - the clincher? She's pregnant, will be going on maternity leave in November. Her pregnancy is healthy so far, and she has OB appointments scheduled for evenings once a month (her OB apparently has after-hours appointments, lucky!) - But, still, even if all went well I would have to find someone else in a few months, at least for six weeks if not more (she plans to come back, but you know, life). Is this a dealbreaker, guys? She's a teeny bit closer (about a mile, I drive to work) and her full-time fee is the same as (A), however, she would charge me a tad less for half days if I need them (and I probably will). (A) really only does full-time fee scheduling.
Both have finger print clearance cards, CPR certification, references and all that. I'm torn! Agh!
What am I missing? What criteria should I use in making the decision? It feels so IMPORTANT, and without someone to share this with or reassure me, I'm freaking out.
(A) woman with no kids of her own, but many years of child care experience, and good references; she watches about 4 kids right now, so with mine it would be six. Clean home, worked with a child psychologist for many years and has tons of experience. Her full-time fee works for me. Has a yard but it's being re-done right now (it will be done in a month or so). Feeds the kids healthy, seems to know what she's doing. We talked for about two hours.
(B) stay-at-home-mom with a small child about my daughter's age plus one toddler boy (so with mine, it would be 4). She lives in a ground floor apartment, so there's no yard, but she has a water table and a playhouse on the patio. She is used to work in a daycare. I liked the smaller teacher/child ratio - the clincher? She's pregnant, will be going on maternity leave in November. Her pregnancy is healthy so far, and she has OB appointments scheduled for evenings once a month (her OB apparently has after-hours appointments, lucky!) - But, still, even if all went well I would have to find someone else in a few months, at least for six weeks if not more (she plans to come back, but you know, life). Is this a dealbreaker, guys? She's a teeny bit closer (about a mile, I drive to work) and her full-time fee is the same as (A), however, she would charge me a tad less for half days if I need them (and I probably will). (A) really only does full-time fee scheduling.
Both have finger print clearance cards, CPR certification, references and all that. I'm torn! Agh!
What am I missing? What criteria should I use in making the decision? It feels so IMPORTANT, and without someone to share this with or reassure me, I'm freaking out.
Go with A; having to go through this again in a few months is a dealbreaker (or it would be for me.)
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:19 PM on June 9, 2013 [16 favorites]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:19 PM on June 9, 2013 [16 favorites]
A. A seems to be the more, for lack of a better word, professional daycare option, and the fact that her yard is being redone for the next month is less problematical than B's situation.
B sounds like just a mom wanting to pick up a bit of extra cash, plus that maternity gap is a huge potential problem in a couple of ways. With B, you'd have to go to the bother of finding a substitute daycare for your children during that gap, but there's also the emotional upset your kids would go through, what with getting settled with her only to be uprooted and then uprooted again. Which is not to say she wouldn't take good care of your kids..... but then again, would she, as parents tend to do, focus more on her own children, rather than equally on yours and hers?
posted by easily confused at 7:34 PM on June 9, 2013 [4 favorites]
B sounds like just a mom wanting to pick up a bit of extra cash, plus that maternity gap is a huge potential problem in a couple of ways. With B, you'd have to go to the bother of finding a substitute daycare for your children during that gap, but there's also the emotional upset your kids would go through, what with getting settled with her only to be uprooted and then uprooted again. Which is not to say she wouldn't take good care of your kids..... but then again, would she, as parents tend to do, focus more on her own children, rather than equally on yours and hers?
posted by easily confused at 7:34 PM on June 9, 2013 [4 favorites]
Oooh, definitely A.
The lack of a yard and the upcoming maternity leave would be dealbreakers to me.
posted by Leezie at 7:36 PM on June 9, 2013 [3 favorites]
The lack of a yard and the upcoming maternity leave would be dealbreakers to me.
posted by Leezie at 7:36 PM on June 9, 2013 [3 favorites]
I also would go with A, I think having a yard is a big deal and avoiding the maternity leave problem is the clincher.
posted by medusa at 7:46 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by medusa at 7:46 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
Unless I'm missing something, this sounds like a pretty straightforward decision: A sounds like a professional and B sounds like a mom trying to make some extra cash. It sounds like the setting for A's daycare is better and you also wouldn't have to find someone else in November.
I'm not saying a stay at home mom won't be a great caretaker, but I'd choose the pro every time, particularly when she's got those other things in her favor. Unless the "no half-rate days" or the slightly further distance are a dealbreaker (and it doesn't sound like they are), then definitely choose A.
posted by Betelgeuse at 7:55 PM on June 9, 2013
I'm not saying a stay at home mom won't be a great caretaker, but I'd choose the pro every time, particularly when she's got those other things in her favor. Unless the "no half-rate days" or the slightly further distance are a dealbreaker (and it doesn't sound like they are), then definitely choose A.
posted by Betelgeuse at 7:55 PM on June 9, 2013
However, I'm a bit concerned about the ratios. Here are the regulations for AZ. What are the ages of the other kids? How many infants vs. toddlers vs. older kids? Have you observed the temperaments of the other kids?
This is a great point. You say she watches "about 4" kids right now. She can't legally watch 6 kids at the same time (unless there is a second caregiver), so this could be a legitimate issue.
posted by Betelgeuse at 7:59 PM on June 9, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is a great point. You say she watches "about 4" kids right now. She can't legally watch 6 kids at the same time (unless there is a second caregiver), so this could be a legitimate issue.
posted by Betelgeuse at 7:59 PM on June 9, 2013 [3 favorites]
A sounds better BUT 6 small children for one caretaker is a lot to handle. I'd be willing to go with her if she brought in an extra set of hands for part of the day.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:13 PM on June 9, 2013
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:13 PM on June 9, 2013
A is not the bargain you think with 6 kids to watch.
Go with B for now, and then keep looking. Find something within 4 weeks.
Fill the gap with B, and use the extra time to keep looking.
posted by jbenben at 9:21 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
Go with B for now, and then keep looking. Find something within 4 weeks.
Fill the gap with B, and use the extra time to keep looking.
posted by jbenben at 9:21 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
Even without the pregnancy in B, I'd still go with A. The fact that she doesn't have children if her own in the mix speaks to her favor to me. I'd be concerned that her kids would always be the priority in option B and the lack of a yard is a total deal breaker. And then the pregnancy? Yeah, no.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:24 PM on June 9, 2013
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:24 PM on June 9, 2013
Response by poster: The child-teacher ratio is exactly my main concern with A. Both of these have detailed written contracts, but neither is licensed; while I would love to find a licensed facility I literally can not find a single one in my area that I can afford. I'm a newly-single mom who hasn't worked in almost three years, I have no savings and two small kids. I will barely be able to pay for child care for two kids with my job and so money is a BIG issue. At the same time, obviously I want the safest place for my children... thus the massive stress this is inducing!
posted by celtalitha at 9:48 PM on June 9, 2013
posted by celtalitha at 9:48 PM on June 9, 2013
Response by poster: A does say that she is planning to hire one of her old coworkers as an assistant towards the end of the summer, which would make me a lot happier about it, assuming that pans out.
posted by celtalitha at 9:50 PM on June 9, 2013
posted by celtalitha at 9:50 PM on June 9, 2013
Ugh, I hear you on the expense of licensed facilities.
Having to do this all again in a few months, presumably just when your kids are getting settled at care, is a dealbreaker for me.
The child-carer ratio is a bit worrying, but, if anecdotes help at all, my daughter spent five years with a women who ran a daycare out of her house--it sounds a lot like the situation you're describing, actually, right up to often having six or seven kids--sometimes even more, if someone she knew was in a bind. And, really, it was fine. I don't think that my daughter got a lot of one-on-one attention, but she got a ton of socialization and learning how to play with other kids, and how to interact with children of different ages.
Also, I have to say that feeding the kids healthily is a huge, huge deal. Our care situation was great in all other regards, but the food was crap, and for the most part not stuff we'd ever eat at home. My kid has always been A Good Eater, but exposure to crap food at daycare made that more difficult than it otherwise would've been. Go with A.
posted by MeghanC at 11:45 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
Having to do this all again in a few months, presumably just when your kids are getting settled at care, is a dealbreaker for me.
The child-carer ratio is a bit worrying, but, if anecdotes help at all, my daughter spent five years with a women who ran a daycare out of her house--it sounds a lot like the situation you're describing, actually, right up to often having six or seven kids--sometimes even more, if someone she knew was in a bind. And, really, it was fine. I don't think that my daughter got a lot of one-on-one attention, but she got a ton of socialization and learning how to play with other kids, and how to interact with children of different ages.
Also, I have to say that feeding the kids healthily is a huge, huge deal. Our care situation was great in all other regards, but the food was crap, and for the most part not stuff we'd ever eat at home. My kid has always been A Good Eater, but exposure to crap food at daycare made that more difficult than it otherwise would've been. Go with A.
posted by MeghanC at 11:45 PM on June 9, 2013 [1 favorite]
A does say that she is planning to hire one of her old coworkers as an assistant towards the end of the summer
How well does this coincide with B's maternity leave? Maybe you can go with B now then reconsider A as one of your options when you look again for someone to cover the maternity leave (either as a short term fill in or flat-out replacement). By then A's yard will be fixed, hopefully she'll have new hands, and you'll also be able to see if things have stabilised. Because I'd be a tiny bit worried that hiring an extra person also comes with taking on more children to pay for it, so it would be nice to see how that pans out before committing.
posted by shelleycat at 12:46 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
How well does this coincide with B's maternity leave? Maybe you can go with B now then reconsider A as one of your options when you look again for someone to cover the maternity leave (either as a short term fill in or flat-out replacement). By then A's yard will be fixed, hopefully she'll have new hands, and you'll also be able to see if things have stabilised. Because I'd be a tiny bit worried that hiring an extra person also comes with taking on more children to pay for it, so it would be nice to see how that pans out before committing.
posted by shelleycat at 12:46 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm a newly-single mom who hasn't worked in almost three years
This is the critical element for me. It sounds like your kids are going through major upheaval right now, what with the change in your parenting situation and your return to work, and I would make continuity of childcare provider the priority within your options. They have enough change right now. I think for that reason, A is clearly the better choice for your family.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:21 AM on June 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is the critical element for me. It sounds like your kids are going through major upheaval right now, what with the change in your parenting situation and your return to work, and I would make continuity of childcare provider the priority within your options. They have enough change right now. I think for that reason, A is clearly the better choice for your family.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:21 AM on June 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
Sounds like A, but if you're looking for additional factors to clarify the choice: which place would have more children of your kids' specific age and sex (and particularly, of the same age and sex as your older kid)? Round about age 3-4, children hit the stage where they begin to enjoy playing specifically with similar peers, less so with babies, older kids or even (IME) children of the opposite gender. Since any group situation is going to include more kid-to-kid play than grownup-to-kid play, whether your daughter has a "friend" at her daycare could make a pretty big difference to her experience.
posted by Bardolph at 4:21 AM on June 10, 2013
posted by Bardolph at 4:21 AM on June 10, 2013
Re: the ratio of kids..... sure, A would have four kids other than your two; but B would have advanced pregnancy plus two kids plus your two, and then three kids (one of which would be a newborn) plus your two --- and those adult/child ratios usually count infants double. If you're going to insist A hire an additional caretaker, so should B!
A still sounds like the better deal.
posted by easily confused at 4:36 AM on June 10, 2013
A still sounds like the better deal.
posted by easily confused at 4:36 AM on June 10, 2013
It looks like Arizona licenses in-home daycare providers as well as your more traditional daycare facilities.
Personally, I prefer in-home environments to large facilities in general, and after in-home environments, I prefer the public school option to large facilities (though not all public preschools operate full-day for all students, which is a second concern).
BUT, I would never, ever, ever go with any that was not licensed.
This looks to be a program similar to one that we have in MA that assists people in looking for child care. The search is free. I once ended up with a list of something like 30 licensed in-home providers in my area, all of which were significantly cheaper than facilities.
I also would not go with a daycare provider of any sort who would be willing to take on more children than license regulation allows for, whether licensed or not. Plus, the child care provider not being licensed can mess up tax incentives like any FSAs regarding child care or the child care tax credit, etc.
So, my opinion is --- keep looking, unless A gets licensed between now and when you would start. And just keep asking around.
If you are a single parent and fall within the appropriate income brackets, you may also wish to look into an area Head Start Program (for the preschooler) or Early Head Start Program (for the infant --- same organization, just different programs). You could also look into daycare subsidies as well, to make a licensed place more affordable.
posted by zizzle at 5:56 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Personally, I prefer in-home environments to large facilities in general, and after in-home environments, I prefer the public school option to large facilities (though not all public preschools operate full-day for all students, which is a second concern).
BUT, I would never, ever, ever go with any that was not licensed.
This looks to be a program similar to one that we have in MA that assists people in looking for child care. The search is free. I once ended up with a list of something like 30 licensed in-home providers in my area, all of which were significantly cheaper than facilities.
I also would not go with a daycare provider of any sort who would be willing to take on more children than license regulation allows for, whether licensed or not. Plus, the child care provider not being licensed can mess up tax incentives like any FSAs regarding child care or the child care tax credit, etc.
So, my opinion is --- keep looking, unless A gets licensed between now and when you would start. And just keep asking around.
If you are a single parent and fall within the appropriate income brackets, you may also wish to look into an area Head Start Program (for the preschooler) or Early Head Start Program (for the infant --- same organization, just different programs). You could also look into daycare subsidies as well, to make a licensed place more affordable.
posted by zizzle at 5:56 AM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh, and I would also recommend organizations with low-income supports like a YMCA /YWCA or community recreation organization that offers childcare (they will often subsidize on their own) or a licensed daycare through an area church program that may run for less than a traditional facility but may also be more likely to offer a sliding fee scale to families.
posted by zizzle at 6:00 AM on June 10, 2013
posted by zizzle at 6:00 AM on June 10, 2013
Apart from the interruption of maternity leave (which is a BIG deal), and the lack of yard (which is a BIG, BIG, BIG deal from the kids' perspective -- which would you rather do, kids: run around outside in the yard or play indoors at a water table?!), I would make the following assumptions (based on the little bit you've told us):
-- with an infant, recent childbirth, and multiple kids, B will be BEYOND exhausted
-- B will be more stressed out (caring for your own kids is more stressful)
-- B would be less likely to give nutritious meals like A would; those take lots of work
Yes, the half-days option would be nice, but your kid will have a better time in a place with a non-exhausted, experienced caretaker who can take them outside whenever they want, with the touch of a doorknob.
A is the clear winner.
posted by ravioli at 6:48 AM on June 10, 2013
-- with an infant, recent childbirth, and multiple kids, B will be BEYOND exhausted
-- B will be more stressed out (caring for your own kids is more stressful)
-- B would be less likely to give nutritious meals like A would; those take lots of work
Yes, the half-days option would be nice, but your kid will have a better time in a place with a non-exhausted, experienced caretaker who can take them outside whenever they want, with the touch of a doorknob.
A is the clear winner.
posted by ravioli at 6:48 AM on June 10, 2013
Go with A- if she needs more help and will hire it, then great. B sounds like she has her hands full already and she won't be hiring help.
posted by myselfasme at 7:31 AM on June 10, 2013
posted by myselfasme at 7:31 AM on June 10, 2013
A. Before and after school in second and third grade, I went to an in-home daycare that was run by one woman. There were three other kids my own age, plus at least six littler ones who stayed the whole day. I'm not saying we were exceptionally well-attended at all times, but an assistant would have gone a long way toward making that true. She even had her yard redone at one point, and once it was ready it was great to be able to get out of the house and move around. Anyway, why would you want to deal with this all over again in just a few months (reading your update: who would you even switch to? A?) and then have to make yet another decision about whether to go back to B? And if you did switch back to B out of loyalty, four kids and an infant are going to be just as much of a burden as six kids, so there goes your low child/teacher ratio.
posted by teremala at 8:12 AM on June 10, 2013
posted by teremala at 8:12 AM on June 10, 2013
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posted by maxg94 at 7:19 PM on June 9, 2013