How can I be more consistent with children?
June 5, 2013 5:56 PM Subscribe
A teacher seeks advice.
I am a first grade teacher and I have somewhat of a doozy of a class this year. Very great group of kids, but in several cases, very high strung and needy and they like to push the boundaries. I am at the end of my second year of teaching and I have been reflecting on the year it comes to a close. This week they are particularly wound up and seeing their behavior I feel like I could have done a better job from the outset of the year being more consistent about setting boundaries for their behavior. My school uses a positive behavior ("PBIS") system and I'm very good at doing the, "Wow, I love how so-and-so is sitting so quietly with hands in his lap!" and "Great job offering peer support!" I do get a lot of mileage out of that, but I've realized I'm a bit of a pushover when it comes to being an enforcer. I end up letting things that seem small slide (I know this is bad!) and then kids end up trying out what happens when they do bigger things, and I end up frustrated and lose my patience. Growing up my parents both had a fairly laissez-faire parenting style so I'm sure that it has to do with my upbringing to some extent. Anyway, I figure the obvious solution is just, be more consistent, which I would really like to do. But I wanted to see if people had any real-world or practical advice about what exactly that looks like or how they have gone about it. Parents, teachers and other people who interact with kids a lot all welcome to chime in.
I am a first grade teacher and I have somewhat of a doozy of a class this year. Very great group of kids, but in several cases, very high strung and needy and they like to push the boundaries. I am at the end of my second year of teaching and I have been reflecting on the year it comes to a close. This week they are particularly wound up and seeing their behavior I feel like I could have done a better job from the outset of the year being more consistent about setting boundaries for their behavior. My school uses a positive behavior ("PBIS") system and I'm very good at doing the, "Wow, I love how so-and-so is sitting so quietly with hands in his lap!" and "Great job offering peer support!" I do get a lot of mileage out of that, but I've realized I'm a bit of a pushover when it comes to being an enforcer. I end up letting things that seem small slide (I know this is bad!) and then kids end up trying out what happens when they do bigger things, and I end up frustrated and lose my patience. Growing up my parents both had a fairly laissez-faire parenting style so I'm sure that it has to do with my upbringing to some extent. Anyway, I figure the obvious solution is just, be more consistent, which I would really like to do. But I wanted to see if people had any real-world or practical advice about what exactly that looks like or how they have gone about it. Parents, teachers and other people who interact with kids a lot all welcome to chime in.
Response by poster: Actually, just to clarify, I think it's less of a pedagogy question than perhaps a child-rearing-in-general question. I've actually read a ton of pedagogy books and I'm good as far as the standard teacher advice. (We laid out the rules at the beginning of school, and practiced and acted them out, and they helped generate them and signed off on them, etc. etc.) My problem is moreso what quarter three looks like when they are at the point of just choosing not to follow them and I end up being too soft. Those are good reads, though. Okay, that's all.
posted by mermily at 6:23 PM on June 5, 2013
posted by mermily at 6:23 PM on June 5, 2013
Best answer: Something that has helped me a lot is changing how I think about rule/consequence systems in my classroom.
I wasn't really aware of it, but I started out thinking of negative behaviors and the consequence I administered as being between the child and me. In fact, I often thought of it as something the child was doing "to" me, and the consequence as something I did in return. This meant every consequence was mixed up in my emotions. On a semi-conscious level, I was thinking things like "Oh, that thing was small, and I like that child, and it didn't annoy me much, so I'll let it slide", or "that child has been on my nerves the whole period, and he's got that smirk on his face, so I'll enforce the rules".
If this is the case for you, and I suspect is is to some extent based on the way you describe the situation, then I suggest you work on changing the way you think about it.
I had to be very deliberate about thinking of negative behaviors and the consequence system as a matter between "the child" and "learning". It really doesn't have anything to do with me - assuming the system is oriented towards creating an atmosphere where children can learn, and is essentially reasonable, then thinking about it as a simple cause and effect, where you are not involved except as the person who implements the consequence, helps a lot. The negative behavior is not something being done to you, and the consequence is not something you do to the child - it's just something the child did, which has a clear and predefined consequence.
It's much easier to be consistent if you are not part of the equation, you are just mechanically implementing a system.
Part of that is, of course, that your consequence system is very clearly defined and that students understand it. I also found that I was not nearly as clear about my rules/consequences as I thought I was. *I* understood it, and it was pretty simple to *me*, and the more attentive students understood it, but I was advised to explain the system every day for a week or more to make sure they really got it.
Every day, I was extremely emotionally mixed up in this - it was pretty messy for me and for my students, until I started practicing taking myself out of the equation. Then I felt better about it, and behavior improved to some extent. I'm still working on it.
On preview, yes, Harry Wong is a good guide to this, and he discusses these issues.
(I'm also speaking as a new teacher, not from years of experience, FYI)
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:23 PM on June 5, 2013 [19 favorites]
I wasn't really aware of it, but I started out thinking of negative behaviors and the consequence I administered as being between the child and me. In fact, I often thought of it as something the child was doing "to" me, and the consequence as something I did in return. This meant every consequence was mixed up in my emotions. On a semi-conscious level, I was thinking things like "Oh, that thing was small, and I like that child, and it didn't annoy me much, so I'll let it slide", or "that child has been on my nerves the whole period, and he's got that smirk on his face, so I'll enforce the rules".
If this is the case for you, and I suspect is is to some extent based on the way you describe the situation, then I suggest you work on changing the way you think about it.
I had to be very deliberate about thinking of negative behaviors and the consequence system as a matter between "the child" and "learning". It really doesn't have anything to do with me - assuming the system is oriented towards creating an atmosphere where children can learn, and is essentially reasonable, then thinking about it as a simple cause and effect, where you are not involved except as the person who implements the consequence, helps a lot. The negative behavior is not something being done to you, and the consequence is not something you do to the child - it's just something the child did, which has a clear and predefined consequence.
It's much easier to be consistent if you are not part of the equation, you are just mechanically implementing a system.
Part of that is, of course, that your consequence system is very clearly defined and that students understand it. I also found that I was not nearly as clear about my rules/consequences as I thought I was. *I* understood it, and it was pretty simple to *me*, and the more attentive students understood it, but I was advised to explain the system every day for a week or more to make sure they really got it.
Every day, I was extremely emotionally mixed up in this - it was pretty messy for me and for my students, until I started practicing taking myself out of the equation. Then I felt better about it, and behavior improved to some extent. I'm still working on it.
On preview, yes, Harry Wong is a good guide to this, and he discusses these issues.
(I'm also speaking as a new teacher, not from years of experience, FYI)
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:23 PM on June 5, 2013 [19 favorites]
My problem is moreso what quarter three looks like when they are at the point of just choosing not to follow them and I end up being too soft.
Stop being too soft when they choose to ignore rules, then.
posted by kinetic at 6:27 PM on June 5, 2013
Stop being too soft when they choose to ignore rules, then.
posted by kinetic at 6:27 PM on June 5, 2013
Best answer: It is actually not effective or productive to use the PBIS system because the whole thing revolves around telling children that their worth is wound up in you (the teacher) loving, liking, disliking, or hating them and their behavior. When you force children to comply with boundaries based on extrinsic rewards like acceptance or appreciation from authority figures like yourself, you're settings those kids up to temporarily buy into a system of rewards and punishments when actually what you really want is for your kids to see limits and instinctively know that those limits are good and helpful and okay to work within because it makes them feel good and be successful in all parts of their lives. Instead, start using more neutral language that calls out behaviors WITHOUT qualifying them as likable or dislikable: "I notice that 5 students are sitting quietly with their legs crossed and their hands folded. Thank you for being ready." "I notice that you are not ready to get started on this activity. What should you be doing so that you are ready to work?" These subtle shifts in the language you use will help you set limits, reinforce them, and redirect behaviors that aren't complying with the boundaries you've set towards behaviors that do comply and make your classroom that much more of a happy place to be.
What it really boils down to is that you need to have a predetermined list of like 5 things that you can put into kidspeak or have kids help you put into kidspeak so every student you have knows what the rules are, AGREES on what the rules are (so that it's a communal thing and not a top-down sort of thing), and knows and agrees on the repercussions that occur when those rules get broken. Display those rules somewhere prominent. Use reminding language when students forget. Reinforce correct behavior by saying things like, "I noticed today that you raised your hand before you spoke. Thank you. That makes it so much easier for me to hear you when you contribute your thoughts to our class." Redirect behavior when it's gearing towards being destructive.
You also may need to spend at least a month establishing, reinforcing, and practicing boundaries and behaviors that make a classroom positive and successful at the beginning of the school year. With young learners like 1st graders, you have to be explicit, and you have to be consistent, and you have to know that the limits you set aren't mean or punitive and that you yourself aren't being mean or punitive when you reinforce those boundaries and insist that students follow your lead. One of the ways you can be consistent is to let students know up front how you handle minor infractions: "First, I will come and remind you about what you should be doing. If you continue to ignore what you should do, you will be asked to complete your task away from the group, or we will call home and talk to your parents or guardians about what's happened."
The best pedagogical resource for this sort of thing is a book called, "Teaching Children to Care" by Ruth Charney, which is part of series from a system called the Responsive Classroom. I would actually recommend that you invest in as many resources from the Responsive Classroom group as possible because they work wonders and make a huge, huge difference with very young learners like the ones you're working with this year. I also like the book, "Setting Limits in the Classroom", and its parent-to-child corollary is also extremely well reviewed, and I think that if you examine how you establish boundaries and how your language affects the ways in which those boundaries stick to your students, you'll find yourself in a much better place next year than you feel you were this year.
Good luck! Please feel free to get in touch if you need more info. I have a lot of experience with the Charney and Responsive Classroom materials and they've been effective for every teacher who came out of my teaching program so I'm eager to spread the word about what great resources they are.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 6:38 PM on June 5, 2013 [14 favorites]
What it really boils down to is that you need to have a predetermined list of like 5 things that you can put into kidspeak or have kids help you put into kidspeak so every student you have knows what the rules are, AGREES on what the rules are (so that it's a communal thing and not a top-down sort of thing), and knows and agrees on the repercussions that occur when those rules get broken. Display those rules somewhere prominent. Use reminding language when students forget. Reinforce correct behavior by saying things like, "I noticed today that you raised your hand before you spoke. Thank you. That makes it so much easier for me to hear you when you contribute your thoughts to our class." Redirect behavior when it's gearing towards being destructive.
You also may need to spend at least a month establishing, reinforcing, and practicing boundaries and behaviors that make a classroom positive and successful at the beginning of the school year. With young learners like 1st graders, you have to be explicit, and you have to be consistent, and you have to know that the limits you set aren't mean or punitive and that you yourself aren't being mean or punitive when you reinforce those boundaries and insist that students follow your lead. One of the ways you can be consistent is to let students know up front how you handle minor infractions: "First, I will come and remind you about what you should be doing. If you continue to ignore what you should do, you will be asked to complete your task away from the group, or we will call home and talk to your parents or guardians about what's happened."
The best pedagogical resource for this sort of thing is a book called, "Teaching Children to Care" by Ruth Charney, which is part of series from a system called the Responsive Classroom. I would actually recommend that you invest in as many resources from the Responsive Classroom group as possible because they work wonders and make a huge, huge difference with very young learners like the ones you're working with this year. I also like the book, "Setting Limits in the Classroom", and its parent-to-child corollary is also extremely well reviewed, and I think that if you examine how you establish boundaries and how your language affects the ways in which those boundaries stick to your students, you'll find yourself in a much better place next year than you feel you were this year.
Good luck! Please feel free to get in touch if you need more info. I have a lot of experience with the Charney and Responsive Classroom materials and they've been effective for every teacher who came out of my teaching program so I'm eager to spread the word about what great resources they are.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 6:38 PM on June 5, 2013 [14 favorites]
Also note that my students are in 9th grade, not 1st grade, so adjust the number of grains of salt you need accordingly.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:52 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Salvor Hardin at 6:52 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you haven't read Lost at School by Ross Greene, you should. Also visit the website Think: Kids. Their approach is more geared toward special needs children, but it's a good one for all kinds of kids.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:18 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Daily Alice at 7:18 PM on June 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
The thing is letting bad behavior slip is fun for that child, but punishes every other kid in the room. All the other kids have to deal with time lost to boundary pushing and make-up discipline. You not maintaining standards for the one kid who's misbehaving; you're doing it for the 20 other kids who deserve a structured classroom.
When you reframe it that way you might find it easier to maintain consistent standards.
posted by 26.2 at 8:11 PM on June 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
When you reframe it that way you might find it easier to maintain consistent standards.
posted by 26.2 at 8:11 PM on June 5, 2013 [3 favorites]
Read Tools for Teaching by Fred Jones and do what he says. It transformed my classroom after 13 years as a teacher. You have to be consistent and follow through with what he says regarding room arrangement, preferred activity time, all of it.
posted by tamitang at 9:43 PM on June 5, 2013
posted by tamitang at 9:43 PM on June 5, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
Begin the school year with firm rules and high expectations. Follow through.
It's easier to start off as a hard-ass and gradually soften. But if you start off soft, you'll never regain control.
posted by kinetic at 6:16 PM on June 5, 2013 [5 favorites]