Bad case of the Don't Wannas.
May 23, 2013 11:38 AM Subscribe
Why do I suddenly not care about anything? Could it be post-depression anhedonia? [I hope not]
Been trolling around through the askmefis most of the day but couldn't find one exactly my situation, so I'll slap one down.
Last few weeks been feeling like this:
Wake up: I don't wanna get up. Ugh, just gotta get to work.
Go to Work: I don't wanna work. Ugh, when can this be over.
Get home: I don't wanna clean, cook, work on projects, forward my writing career, etc. etc. Ugh, when can I go to bed?
Go to bed. zzz
Wake up: UGH, I DON'T WANNA GET UP!
Etc, etc, repeat repeat
To be clear: I am getting things done. My work is not amazing but sufficient. My writing life isn't super productive but I'm writing most days. My house is in an OK state of clean. I could continue this way with no major catastrophe. It's just that while I'm doing these things I'm just waiting and waiting until it's FINALLY OVER, and then when the next thing starts omg I just want that to BE OVER...etc etc. Even when I'm doing "fun" things, like hanging out with my friends, I am having an OK time on one level, but on another level I just can't wait to be done.
Some notes:
LoooooOOoooOoong history of depression, finally gotten under control about three years ago via Wellbutrion. Been pretty happy. I'm wondering if this isn't some lingering bizness, but I hope it isn't, as it took me year and years and years to find something that has gotten me above constant despair, so I really don't want to mess with that.
I'm hoping this is just a normal person problem. And someone will have some words of wisdom?
Been trolling around through the askmefis most of the day but couldn't find one exactly my situation, so I'll slap one down.
Last few weeks been feeling like this:
Wake up: I don't wanna get up. Ugh, just gotta get to work.
Go to Work: I don't wanna work. Ugh, when can this be over.
Get home: I don't wanna clean, cook, work on projects, forward my writing career, etc. etc. Ugh, when can I go to bed?
Go to bed. zzz
Wake up: UGH, I DON'T WANNA GET UP!
Etc, etc, repeat repeat
To be clear: I am getting things done. My work is not amazing but sufficient. My writing life isn't super productive but I'm writing most days. My house is in an OK state of clean. I could continue this way with no major catastrophe. It's just that while I'm doing these things I'm just waiting and waiting until it's FINALLY OVER, and then when the next thing starts omg I just want that to BE OVER...etc etc. Even when I'm doing "fun" things, like hanging out with my friends, I am having an OK time on one level, but on another level I just can't wait to be done.
Some notes:
LoooooOOoooOoong history of depression, finally gotten under control about three years ago via Wellbutrion. Been pretty happy. I'm wondering if this isn't some lingering bizness, but I hope it isn't, as it took me year and years and years to find something that has gotten me above constant despair, so I really don't want to mess with that.
I'm hoping this is just a normal person problem. And someone will have some words of wisdom?
Sounds like depression to me. Maybe the magic bullets aint the miracle cure they are made out to be. Maybe a side effect. Maybe the drugs are keeping a feally bad spell at bay. I would try talking therapy, that and lifestyle changes have totally overhauled my mental well being.
posted by BenPens at 11:48 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by BenPens at 11:48 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Time for a med check-up.
Brain chemistry can shift and dosages need to be touched up from time to time.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:48 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Brain chemistry can shift and dosages need to be touched up from time to time.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:48 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I suffer from depression and take Welbutrin. Like you it took me a long time to find something that worked to help manage my depression. However, about a year in to my being on Welbutrin I started feeling the way you're describing. When I started feeling like that it was the first domino in a pretty bad emotional state. Basically, my meds weren't working the same way anymore. I had to get my dosage upped. Problem solved.
(of course now I'm on the max dosage and having trouble with my mood again and I am losing my shit over the idea of having to go through the insanity of trying to find a different drug that works....)
Like seanmpuckett said, sometimes meds need to be adjusted.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 12:10 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
(of course now I'm on the max dosage and having trouble with my mood again and I am losing my shit over the idea of having to go through the insanity of trying to find a different drug that works....)
Like seanmpuckett said, sometimes meds need to be adjusted.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 12:10 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
If the Wellbutrin has been working that long, it probably hasn't pooped out, but have you changed brands lately? Lots of people have trouble changing brands.
Or if you're like me, it could be massive Spring allergies on top of my usual depression and other issues. Happens every year around March when I start to think my meds aren't working anymore, but it is Nature being all evil. Still, it is a good idea to talk to a professional about this.
posted by monopas at 12:20 PM on May 23, 2013
Or if you're like me, it could be massive Spring allergies on top of my usual depression and other issues. Happens every year around March when I start to think my meds aren't working anymore, but it is Nature being all evil. Still, it is a good idea to talk to a professional about this.
posted by monopas at 12:20 PM on May 23, 2013
IME with my depression, there is no such thing as post-depression anhedonia. You're not post-depression if you're anhedonic; you're still in throes of it. Have you tald to your doc about upping your med dose? It sounds like you've hit a plateau.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 1:06 PM on May 23, 2013
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 1:06 PM on May 23, 2013
How much sleep have you been getting? When is the last time you took a vacation?
If things have changed only recently, and you have been working long hours and not had a break, it could be as simple as that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
If things have changed only recently, and you have been working long hours and not had a break, it could be as simple as that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Sometimes I have episodes where I'm not depressed, I just have *no* energy, so I don't want to do anything. I've found that it's because I'm not sleeping well due to (a) allergies, (b) insomniac husband, (c) caffeine past 11 am, (d) drinking any alcohol at all, (e) not eating enough calories.
I mean, odds are good it's depression, but maybe it's just too much coffee.
posted by hishtafel at 4:58 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I mean, odds are good it's depression, but maybe it's just too much coffee.
posted by hishtafel at 4:58 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
It does sound like to me like chronically tired syndrome. I would get that way when my kids were little and I was chronically short of sleep. Everything just felt like such an uphill battle. I am not prone to depression.
posted by Michele in California at 8:07 PM on May 23, 2013
posted by Michele in California at 8:07 PM on May 23, 2013
Response by poster: Thanks for the perspective,all.
Coincidentally I have an allergist appt next week, so well see what he says. But I guess it's time for a brain check up too...
posted by Calicatt at 10:50 AM on May 24, 2013
Coincidentally I have an allergist appt next week, so well see what he says. But I guess it's time for a brain check up too...
posted by Calicatt at 10:50 AM on May 24, 2013
This is EXACTLY what happened to me on Wellbutrin-- it gave me the energy to actually get up, go to work, get shit done, &c., but I took absolutely no interest in any of it, I was just able to go through the motions much better. Which was great for me in terms of actually running my adult life, but not at all helpful with anhedonia. I'm not sure how to help because I'm still taking Wellbutrin and still feel the same way, but maybe a different med would work better for you.
(For instance, when I was depressed, I was incredibly bad at waking up or going to class or work, but I wrote a lot of poetry and won an award at college for my writing. Now that I'm on medication, I never ever write poetry or do anything creative, I just... wake up on time and don't lose my job.)
Of course, allergies do this shit to me too, and bad sleeping patterns and other issues (like living with someone who puts me down a lot, or otherwise makes me question my usefulness) can contribute a lot.
posted by stoneandstar at 6:43 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
(For instance, when I was depressed, I was incredibly bad at waking up or going to class or work, but I wrote a lot of poetry and won an award at college for my writing. Now that I'm on medication, I never ever write poetry or do anything creative, I just... wake up on time and don't lose my job.)
Of course, allergies do this shit to me too, and bad sleeping patterns and other issues (like living with someone who puts me down a lot, or otherwise makes me question my usefulness) can contribute a lot.
posted by stoneandstar at 6:43 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
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posted by freshwater at 11:46 AM on May 23, 2013 [3 favorites]