Help diagnose or correct my weird sleep behavior
May 14, 2013 12:59 PM Subscribe
I frequently half-wake from dreams and start doing or saying weird things while I’m in bed. They often relate to my dreams and it's a big disruption to my wife’s sleep as well as my own. What is going on with me and how can I stop it? Plenty of details inside.
This has been going on for my entire life, but it’s gotten more frequent in the last few years. I'm 29 and do not have any major health problems. I've never suffered from insomnia and rarely have trouble falling asleep. Usually this happens 1-4 hours after I fall asleep, but it varies. Maybe 20% are scary, the rest are mundane or just weird. I almost always remember it in the morning, but not in much detail. Here are some examples of the stuff I’ve done:
• I look for various things in the bed that are obviously not there (file folders, rapidly melting chocolate candies)
• I flip back the covers or leap up because I think there’s an animal in the bed
• I panic because I think there’s someone outside the window
• I start putting on my clothes
• I mumble half-coherent things to my wife
• I think other people are in the bed
They get weirder:
• I once got up and looked on my dresser for the electric hot dogs that would cure my friend’s blindness
• I warned my wife not to reach under the bed because I thought the bed frame was lined with razor blades
• I thought a smoke detector was a two-way intercom for me to speak with my college music professor
• I was alarmed to find my wife next to me because I thought she was downstairs hanging out with GOB Bluth
We attempted a “password” system where my wife would say a specific word or phrase to remind me that it’s the middle of the night and I’ve just been dreaming, but it didn’t work. Usually I wake up and realize my foolishness after a few minutes, but the damage and sleep disruption are already done.
Do you have any ideas about what sleep disorder this is, or any mind hacks to help me beat it?
This has been going on for my entire life, but it’s gotten more frequent in the last few years. I'm 29 and do not have any major health problems. I've never suffered from insomnia and rarely have trouble falling asleep. Usually this happens 1-4 hours after I fall asleep, but it varies. Maybe 20% are scary, the rest are mundane or just weird. I almost always remember it in the morning, but not in much detail. Here are some examples of the stuff I’ve done:
• I look for various things in the bed that are obviously not there (file folders, rapidly melting chocolate candies)
• I flip back the covers or leap up because I think there’s an animal in the bed
• I panic because I think there’s someone outside the window
• I start putting on my clothes
• I mumble half-coherent things to my wife
• I think other people are in the bed
They get weirder:
• I once got up and looked on my dresser for the electric hot dogs that would cure my friend’s blindness
• I warned my wife not to reach under the bed because I thought the bed frame was lined with razor blades
• I thought a smoke detector was a two-way intercom for me to speak with my college music professor
• I was alarmed to find my wife next to me because I thought she was downstairs hanging out with GOB Bluth
We attempted a “password” system where my wife would say a specific word or phrase to remind me that it’s the middle of the night and I’ve just been dreaming, but it didn’t work. Usually I wake up and realize my foolishness after a few minutes, but the damage and sleep disruption are already done.
Do you have any ideas about what sleep disorder this is, or any mind hacks to help me beat it?
REM Behavior Sleep Disorder
Comedian Mike Birbiglia suffers from this and documented it in his movie Sleepwalk With Me.
He also tells his story in Act One of the This American Life episode of Fear of Sleep. This can become dangerous and needs treatment. In the This American Life episode, Mike Birbiglia talks about how he jumped out of a second story window while acting out a dream.
Your body is not releasing chemicals needed to keep you asleep and stop your body from acting out your dreams. Do a sleep study and you may need medication. Mike Birbiglia had to stop watching TV and eating before bed, and strong medication.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:10 PM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]
Comedian Mike Birbiglia suffers from this and documented it in his movie Sleepwalk With Me.
He also tells his story in Act One of the This American Life episode of Fear of Sleep. This can become dangerous and needs treatment. In the This American Life episode, Mike Birbiglia talks about how he jumped out of a second story window while acting out a dream.
Your body is not releasing chemicals needed to keep you asleep and stop your body from acting out your dreams. Do a sleep study and you may need medication. Mike Birbiglia had to stop watching TV and eating before bed, and strong medication.
posted by Crystalinne at 1:10 PM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]
Sleep study, pronto.
Are you familiar with the comic Mike Birbiglia? He jumped out a second-floor hotel window because missiles were targeting him (this after years of climbing on furniture and stomping around the bed shouting because there was a jackal in the room) before he finally got help. He sleeps in mittens inside a zipped-up sleeping bag now, because he doesn't produce the appropriate paralytic neurochemicals to stop him from doing what he's dreaming. The original bit is here - it's funny, but it's also pretty scary.
(On preview: jinx, Crystalinne)
posted by Lyn Never at 1:11 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Are you familiar with the comic Mike Birbiglia? He jumped out a second-floor hotel window because missiles were targeting him (this after years of climbing on furniture and stomping around the bed shouting because there was a jackal in the room) before he finally got help. He sleeps in mittens inside a zipped-up sleeping bag now, because he doesn't produce the appropriate paralytic neurochemicals to stop him from doing what he's dreaming. The original bit is here - it's funny, but it's also pretty scary.
(On preview: jinx, Crystalinne)
posted by Lyn Never at 1:11 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Best answer: This sounds like normal sleep walking and talking to me. My husband also does a bunch of weird, active, noisy stuff during the night (we have separate rooms), and it's always worse when he's not sleeping deeply. And he's not sleeping deeply because he has trouble breathing because he has a large polyp inside on of his nostrils plus allergies. And we know this because we went to an ENT to get his breathing checked out. He was also screened for possible apnoea, which he doesn't have, which is a really important thing to rule out because it can kill you.
Your sleep is really restless for whatever reason. A good first place to go figure out why this is is an ENT specialist. Since your wife is better able to describe what happens than you are, taking her along is also a good idea (tell her it's fun to watch your face light up when they stick the light up your nose). It may just be that you're a light sleeper. But if apnoea or similar is an issue then you really want to know and get it fixed.
For us, my husband actually sleeps very well and is never tired. But we decided to go anyway because I was clearly suffering the ill effects. In the end we couldn't afford the surgery to get it fixed and we're happy with separate bedrooms anyway, but it was still worth the cost of the visit.
posted by shelleycat at 1:16 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Your sleep is really restless for whatever reason. A good first place to go figure out why this is is an ENT specialist. Since your wife is better able to describe what happens than you are, taking her along is also a good idea (tell her it's fun to watch your face light up when they stick the light up your nose). It may just be that you're a light sleeper. But if apnoea or similar is an issue then you really want to know and get it fixed.
For us, my husband actually sleeps very well and is never tired. But we decided to go anyway because I was clearly suffering the ill effects. In the end we couldn't afford the surgery to get it fixed and we're happy with separate bedrooms anyway, but it was still worth the cost of the visit.
posted by shelleycat at 1:16 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Oh also the ENT we went to was ready to refer my husband for a sleep study if necessary but it turned out not to be. Get your breathing checked out first, then follow up with a sleep study if required.
posted by shelleycat at 1:18 PM on May 14, 2013
posted by shelleycat at 1:18 PM on May 14, 2013
This happens to me, although mostly I get some impressive hypnagogic halucinations. I've done everything on your first list at least once.
I find it tends to get much more frequent in periods of stress. It never happens when travelling or away from home.
I can't offer much help, but:
Try learning to spot tell-tale signs (a sort of lucidity) that can alert you to the current unreality. I'm very short-sighted but during the dreams I can see the room fine, even in darkness (and accurately, too) since my brain is adding a convincing memory of the room on top of the real, very dark and blurred room. I've got used to checking for this and it helps wake me (or just sit back and watch my mind being odd).
Try to add a "decompression" period before going to bed/sleep.
Also try to work out what the stress trigger might be.
I think in some other cultures or centuries we'd either be shamans or burned as witches, so it could be worse.
posted by BinaryApe at 1:38 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
I find it tends to get much more frequent in periods of stress. It never happens when travelling or away from home.
I can't offer much help, but:
Try learning to spot tell-tale signs (a sort of lucidity) that can alert you to the current unreality. I'm very short-sighted but during the dreams I can see the room fine, even in darkness (and accurately, too) since my brain is adding a convincing memory of the room on top of the real, very dark and blurred room. I've got used to checking for this and it helps wake me (or just sit back and watch my mind being odd).
Try to add a "decompression" period before going to bed/sleep.
Also try to work out what the stress trigger might be.
I think in some other cultures or centuries we'd either be shamans or burned as witches, so it could be worse.
posted by BinaryApe at 1:38 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
I Googled and didn't find it, it's normal for humans to sleep twice during the night with a period of wakefulness in between. I remember hearing this on NPR (so it must be true, right?)
With the advent of gas lights and eventually electric lights, this has been suppressed; most people now sleep all the way through. But before lighting cues could be artificially controlled, people often woke up in the middle of the night.
posted by Doohickie at 2:08 PM on May 14, 2013
With the advent of gas lights and eventually electric lights, this has been suppressed; most people now sleep all the way through. But before lighting cues could be artificially controlled, people often woke up in the middle of the night.
posted by Doohickie at 2:08 PM on May 14, 2013
nthing sleep study.
They'll hook you up to gadgets and they can monitor your brain during these episodes.
At least rule out sleep disorders and etc.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 2:11 PM on May 14, 2013
They'll hook you up to gadgets and they can monitor your brain during these episodes.
At least rule out sleep disorders and etc.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 2:11 PM on May 14, 2013
Yeah, I'm sorry but this one isn't internet diagnosable and requires a visit to a doctor and potentially a sleep study. Parasomnias (sleep walking, acting out dreams etc.) are linked to a number of sleep disorders including sleep apnea, which has other serious health consequences.
As Mike Birbiglia's story demonstrates, it's important to seek treatment before you injure yourself, not after. I know that most of the things you listed are fairly innocuous and even humorous, but the chances of you doing something like jumping out a window are much higher than you'd think. Even if it never gets to that point, both you and your wife deserve a good night's sleep. There are treatments for this (both medication and behavioral changes you can make) but you absolutely need to talk to a doctor to find out what the next step is.
posted by fox problems at 3:29 PM on May 14, 2013
As Mike Birbiglia's story demonstrates, it's important to seek treatment before you injure yourself, not after. I know that most of the things you listed are fairly innocuous and even humorous, but the chances of you doing something like jumping out a window are much higher than you'd think. Even if it never gets to that point, both you and your wife deserve a good night's sleep. There are treatments for this (both medication and behavioral changes you can make) but you absolutely need to talk to a doctor to find out what the next step is.
posted by fox problems at 3:29 PM on May 14, 2013
My husband is an "active dreamer." He's done the leaping out of bed thing. I do not have a diagnosis because he keeps putting off a sleep study, but these days when he starts to twitch in the way that means he's having an active dream, it wakes me up immediately. I then start gently shaking him and saying, "YOU'RE HAVING A DREAM." Usually I can rouse him enough to get him out of that dream, and then he'll shift position and go back to sleep.
This is a subpar solution, but if you keep it up, eventually your wife may get pavlovianly trained to wake up before you do and get you out of the dream. :P
I do worry he's going to bash himself on the head on the end table one day, and I'm not thrilled about him shouting me awake at 3 a.m. when it's a shouting dream, but I'm not worried he's going to jump out a window or run down the stairs; he startles himself awake when he starts full-size movements or loud talking.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:39 PM on May 14, 2013
This is a subpar solution, but if you keep it up, eventually your wife may get pavlovianly trained to wake up before you do and get you out of the dream. :P
I do worry he's going to bash himself on the head on the end table one day, and I'm not thrilled about him shouting me awake at 3 a.m. when it's a shouting dream, but I'm not worried he's going to jump out a window or run down the stairs; he startles himself awake when he starts full-size movements or loud talking.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 4:39 PM on May 14, 2013
Best answer: I do all of these things also. My wife even has a name for it-- she calls this other-sleep person the "night-time guy". She said she doesn't worry about it, because she realizes that the night-time guy also loves her. (He has tried to protect her from robot spiders on the ceiling from dripping acid onto her face, and countless other equally bizarre scenarios.) You've got some good technical advice already upthread, so I won't repeat it, except to say yes-- sleep study. The one technical term that no one has mentioned yet that came out in my own diagnosis is parasomnia. That may lead you to a little more understanding. Like you, I worried about it for years, but once I had an official diagnosis, I was strangely comforted and I don't worry about it anymore-- it is just a part of me. Also, my own condition is affected by sleep apnea as well, so getting on a CPAP machine and acutally getting enough air to breathe at night has led to a decrease (but not complete disappearance) of the night-time guy. Go see a specialist who knows sleep disorders, and this will turn from a worry into a funny quirk that you enjoy telling people about. Best of luck!
posted by seasparrow at 5:05 PM on May 14, 2013
posted by seasparrow at 5:05 PM on May 14, 2013
My partner does this sometimes.
Awhile back, he said in his sleep, "Mmm, strawberry shortcake!" This past weekend, he was lying on his back, hands folded on his chest. He said aloud, in his sleep, "Sticky hands!" and made a patty cake motion.
What's not to love? My only concern is all the times I've slept through his nighttime shenanigans.
He never remembers a thing.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:29 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
Awhile back, he said in his sleep, "Mmm, strawberry shortcake!" This past weekend, he was lying on his back, hands folded on his chest. He said aloud, in his sleep, "Sticky hands!" and made a patty cake motion.
What's not to love? My only concern is all the times I've slept through his nighttime shenanigans.
He never remembers a thing.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:29 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
I work at a sleep lab but don't have anything too helpful to add, other than nthing the suggestion that you should get a sleep study ASAP. In addition to the possibility of harming yourself, there is a very real risk that you might punch your wife in the face because you think she's a monster or something. I'd even suggest possibly sleeping in another room until you can get this under control.
When I hear about these sleepwalking problems, I always wonder why people don't strap themselves to the bed somehow. I'm not talking about being tied down head to toe, but if you had an ankle tied to a bedpost, it would seem like it would greatly reduce the risk of you wandering off and getting into trouble. Of course, you'd need something long enough for you to still roll over, but not so long that you'd risk strangling yourself.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
When I hear about these sleepwalking problems, I always wonder why people don't strap themselves to the bed somehow. I'm not talking about being tied down head to toe, but if you had an ankle tied to a bedpost, it would seem like it would greatly reduce the risk of you wandering off and getting into trouble. Of course, you'd need something long enough for you to still roll over, but not so long that you'd risk strangling yourself.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
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I've heard some people say that part of the problem relates to a low level of a particular hormone or brain chemical or whatever-it-is that ordinarily keeps us all mildly paralyzed during REM sleep; without it, everyone would be doing what you're doing all the time every time they dreamed. But some people have too little, and end up like you; while others sometimes have too much, and suffer sleep paralysis, where they sometimes can't move right upon waking.
If it's a nightly thing, maybe consult with a doctor or a sleep clinic to see if there are any underlying things; if you're cleared of that, or if it's more of an annoyance rather than a really big problem, then...I'd just take whatever precautions you need to make sure you're safe and just sort of roll with it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:09 PM on May 14, 2013