Low-maintenance lazy girl w/ thick curly hair seeks straight down hairdo
May 5, 2013 6:08 PM   Subscribe

I have super thick, wavy/curly long hair and I am not willing to spend a bunch of time everyday trying to wrangle my hair into submission. How can I get nice, straight hair that I can wear down in public and it not look like I stuck my finger in an electrical socket or I am growing dog ears? Details below!

I am a woman and have been wearing my hair up in messy buns forever. I'm not a girly-girl -- I go pretty light on makeup and I wear a dress or heels about once a year, if that. Wearing my hair up was even to the point where I hadn't gotten a real haircut in years because I'd just trim my hair when it was up so I could tie it back perfectly. I really want to start wearing it down and I even got a haircut to make it all one even length. The hairdresser straightened my hair with a blow-dryer and round brush and then she used a flat iron to really straighten it and smooth it down -- I loved the way it looked.

Here's my problem though. I am extremely low maintenance and willing to put only a very small amount of effort into my hair. My daily routine is that I shower in the evening before bed and then I might put some hair gel in it or tie it tight with some hair spray to straighten/de-frizz it a little, and then I let it dry while I sleep. In the morning, I flat iron just the top and the curls underneath on my neck so I can pull it back and it looks pretty straight/not frizzy, but it's not straight throughout the hair so it's still pretty thick. I am not a morning person and quite frankly, I refuse to shower and then dry my hair and then straighten it in the morning -- way too much work and too much time.

Unfortunately, my hair is also very thick. It's generally very wavy and then in places (especially on the back of my head near my neck) it's really curly and naturally forms moderately tight ringlets when it dries. Without product, it gets very frizzy. I do not want to wear it curly or wavy -- I only want to wear it straight and, uh, contained. Sometimes it feels unmanageable. I don't want it to be frizzy or puffy. I just want it to be straight and, frankly, as limp and as pin-straight as I can make this giant mane.

How can I most easily and most quickly achieve the results I want? Like, I have a flat iron (a Chi with flowers on it -- model is GF 1070, google can't even find the model and there is nothing indicating the temperature it reaches -- it only has an on/off switch) and it doesn't feel like it can get all of the hair to easily straighten right up. I tried after seeing the hairdresser to replicate her great results, but I couldn't get it as smooth/thin or as straight. Maybe I need to use my flat iron really slowly, or run it through more than once, but with the amount of hair I have, that is getting into the amount of work where I'd rather not bother and just wear it up. There must be a better way.

How can I get nice, controlled straight hair with the absolutely minimum amount of effort? I tried some sort of chemical straightener once many years ago -- it was like a conditioner I let sit in my hair for a while -- but it didn't do anything. People seem to warn against really harsh chemicals and I'm not sure I want to do anything risky. Please help? I look at other women who wear their hair down and wish I could have hair like theirs -- straight, manageable and inconspicuous!
posted by AppleTurnover to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (66 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
If you're willing to spend the money getting a Brazilian Blowout is exactly what you want. My hair it super thick, super curly/frizzy/wavy and a super pain in the neck. The Blowout is a miracle, I can let my hair air dry with zero product and it looks shiny, healthy, and straight. It's expensive so I only do it for the summer, but seriously, it is amazing.
posted by Requiax at 6:16 PM on May 5, 2013 [3 favorites]


You could get a keratin hair treatment at a salon. I've known people with curly curls who have done this and their hair is now straight and easy to deal with. You can do this at home, but getting it at a salon is your best bet. Thermal reconditioning is also an option. It's also called Japanese straightening. This is the big gun - it will straighten your hair like no one's business.

Both of these are chemical processes, and a reputable salon should be able to do them with no problem. Go in for a consult, see what you think. Japanese straightening is more expensive and more permanent, as it changes the structure of your hair. Here is what Oprah has to say about both methods.

Your other option - although if you're not big on maintenance, it's a little bit of work - is a hot brush like this one that I use. I section my wet hair with clips, and comb each section through about ten times (until it is dry) with this brush/hair dryer contraption. Then I put it in velcro rollers for each section. I can get this "blowout" to last two or sometimes three days with just a little "refresher" in between. It takes me about a half hour from start to finish. I have a lot of very curly hair - 3b on the naturallycurly site's scale. You can see what the blowout looks like on my profile page.
posted by k8lin at 6:17 PM on May 5, 2013 [4 favorites]


Yup, I was just going to say that if you are willing to commit to an afternoon at a salon, a keratin treatment or thermal reconditioning is your best bet. The keratin treatments are supposed to a last a few months. Big up-front investment, but there will be no effort required afterwards.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 6:19 PM on May 5, 2013


When I was in middle school and wanted my thick, curly hair to be pin-straight, I got Japanese straightening (thermal reconditioning) done. It's expensive, but it lasts forever. You can just wake up and roll out of bed with smooth, straight hair. It never damaged my hair (I had it done around four times total, I think).
posted by topoisomerase at 6:24 PM on May 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, and there's a reason you can't get your hair to look the way it does at the salon. You can't get all the angles and proper tension they get with the round brush and the blowdryer on your own head. I find that the hot brush helps a lot with this, but it never looks quite as pretty as it does when I have it done for real.

If you have a bit of money, you could just schedule weekly blowouts at your local salon, which would give you two or three days of straight hair every week. I remember a link I read about a woman who did this somewhere, but I can't seem to find it anymore. She felt it was worth the cost; I'm not so sure, myself. I'd probably go with the Brazilian Blowout/keratin treatment/Japanese straightening if I'm going to spend money at a salon.
posted by k8lin at 6:27 PM on May 5, 2013


Are you at all interested in also learning how to style it so that it looks good down if you keep it curly?
posted by Kololo at 6:28 PM on May 5, 2013 [8 favorites]


A great straightener (I don't know brands but I would check in at a store like Ulta, or buy the one your hairdresser uses). Buy the same hair products too. The only other tip I have is Section-Section - Section. Get those big clips and pile and pin hair up on the top of your head, work from the bottom, slowly use the straightener down about a half-inch by one inch wide section of hair. Once the straightener is thru that section, don't touch it. Let it cool in place, then move on to the next section. Repeat about 97 times. I had your hair type and gave up straightening it and lived with hair that looked like a grazing animal (bbaaaaa) until I went groovy-cool and now have swingy short one-length hair. See seersucker+saddles.com if you want something manageable. Good luck with your valiant fight! Otoh, total strangers would approach me and whine that they wanted my hair... We all want what we don't have.
posted by Lornalulu at 6:32 PM on May 5, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have hair similar to yours. The only thing that has made it straight is a keratin treatment. The one I had done was called La Brasiliana; there are others on the market. Having a trained salon person do it was well worth the cost, in my opinion. My hair was straight for about 3 months, then the curl slowly came back. I would say it was straight for 3 months, had lovely loose waves for about 2 months, then after about 6 months was back to "normal". Using straightening shampoos and a flat iron has middling results; if it's a dry day, it'll stay straight for about 6 hours; if it's humid, maybe 2. So honestly, a keratin treatment is your best bet. I really loved it when I had it - it was literally wash and go straight hair! I'd do it again if I had the cash.
posted by RogueTech at 7:07 PM on May 5, 2013


Yes, nthing keratin/Brazilian treatment. It will change your life.
posted by sweetkid at 7:12 PM on May 5, 2013


Response by poster: Well, for instance, I looked at Brazilian Blowout and the "original" comes with a warning that it releases formaldehyde and is classified as a dangerous substance. Yikes... not sure I want that seeping into my head or blowing into my nostrils. The "zero" version is supposed to be safe and free of carcinogens, but I wonder if that also means it doesn't work as well. Should I just go to the salon and ask for a treatment without hazardous chemicals and see what they recommend?

Also, how much can I expect to pay for such treatments? And do they require upkeep? Because honestly, when I am not going out or bumming around, sometimes I totally shower and do nothing to my hair and it dries into a giant frizzball. Like I said, I tried one leave-in treatment a while ago and it didn't work so I really never considered it again -- I figured my hair was too much to handle. I thought about trying straightening products for black people, but wasn't sure if it would damage my hair and gave up. I used to be OK with wearing my hair up all the time, but now I'm really sick of it.

And no, I am not interested in any ideas on wearing it curly or wavy, but thanks.
posted by AppleTurnover at 7:32 PM on May 5, 2013


Whatever you decide on, a good hair dresser can also give you a cut that will thin out the hair some. I have pretty thick hair and they do that for me. It doesn't take out a TON of bulk, but it conjunction with whatever you do, it may help. I think they use thinning shears.
posted by michellenoel at 7:39 PM on May 5, 2013


The keratin treatment will cost between $250 and $400. You are going to have to blow it straight and flat iron it though. There's really very little "no upkeep" hair style unless you want to go really short.
posted by sweetkid at 8:05 PM on May 5, 2013


Response by poster: Yeesh. $250 to $400 is a lot of money. I'd rather go visit a friend or buy myself a new camera lens for that amount of money. I could spend like $150 on some sort of lasting straightening treatment, but much beyond that I'd want to see if there are other solutions.

Anything more affordable? Perhaps something I could do at home (without accidentally turning myself bald)?
posted by AppleTurnover at 8:07 PM on May 5, 2013


I am a curly girl who is now on round 2 of a Brazilian Blowout. Here they are $100. It was fairly safe.
My first one was early February and only about 2 or 3 weeks ago was I thinking 'yeah, it is too hard for me to straighten my hair.'

I wash my hair every few days and it takes me between 20 and 30 minutes to straighten it with a blow dryer and flat iron. For the first month it is nearly perfectly straight and in the second month it requires a little more work.

This is 15 more minutes of work than I put into my hair in the past but I love it so much I don't care.

Is this worth $100? Hell yes.

If you want to see photos I can send some links.

And here's the thing... Do the BB and if you hate it, in a few months it will be gone. NBD.
posted by k8t at 8:08 PM on May 5, 2013


I mean...no, not really. We're all saying this because we tried those other treatments/tools etc.
posted by sweetkid at 8:09 PM on May 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Honestly, as a girl with very thick, wavy/curly hair, even very short styles require upkeep. You wake up in the morning with your hair sticking out in unfortunate ways that require fixing, and in a much more time-consuming way than just pulling it up. The timeless pony and messy bun *are* the low-upkeep ways to deal with your hair.

It's my understanding that if you get a keratin treatment you won't need to do daily blowing or ironing to keep it straight; talk to your stylist about this as well as the toxins issue before you make a decision.

Be very, VERY cautious about a stylist with thinning shears. Depending on the stylist and the style you prefer, that can be a real catastrophe.

Are you willing to put in all of that time straightening your hair at night, after you shower, and then doing a quick touch-up when you get up in the morning? This might well be your best bet.
posted by Andrhia at 8:10 PM on May 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


Btw, my BB person says that BB used to be a lot because of the investment in training and the product itself but for a lot of salons now the cost has amortized.
posted by k8t at 8:12 PM on May 5, 2013


Yeah, the keratin makes it less work but it's still work. Also, the treatment is more expensive here in NYC, but it also takes a few hours which is partially why it costs a lot. Maybe for those paying $100 they might have shorter hair or less curly hair than me, or haircuts are less overall. There's a range - but $100 is really on the low end.
posted by sweetkid at 8:18 PM on May 5, 2013


It's really hard to make some part of you do the opposite of what it wants to do without expending either time or money. If you don't want to do the blowout, or get a cut that works with your natural hair (which I know you've said 'no' to, but as a fellow low-maintenance person, I highly recommend reconsidering that), I think what's left is using one of the diy techniques described above and washing less often.
posted by nelljie at 8:19 PM on May 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, in the name of science, here is before and here is after. On me BB stays super straight for 2 months or so and way easier to style for another 2 months. It wears off slowly. I am not the type to spend lots of money on clothes, hair or makeup but this is so worth it not to have to wrangle the frizz, to be able to have great hair without having to plan a day ahead.
posted by Requiax at 8:19 PM on May 5, 2013 [5 favorites]


Yea, it really depends on the person though, and the place you get the treatment, and hair texture, and and and. It might be absolutely no fuss at $100, or could be still needing to blow dry at $300.

Only way to know is try it. But I don't think an at home thing or just getting a new straightener will work. Changing your hair texture is definitely an investment of time and/or money.
posted by sweetkid at 8:28 PM on May 5, 2013


I think you should try to get a cut that flatters your hair type a bit better. I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound like you have a good haircut right now.

I have similar hair issues, and while good weather and washing less often helps, there's no magic bullet other than heat styling and chemical straightening. And the formaldehyde thing freaks me out, too.

This kind of stuff stuff takes money and/or effort.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 8:33 PM on May 5, 2013


I'm a guy. With thick, rich, natural curls. Every woman with straight hair I've ever met has expressed envy over my hair. Every woman with natural curls has offered me advice on straightening it.

So, now, I will deliver unto you the sage wisdom imparted unto me by a woman who is clearly wise (because she works in a barber shop with six guys and four gals) -

"Wash it twice a week, get it trimmed once every six weeks. Gel or don't, it doesn't matter. Straight is hard, this is easy. It's supposed to look a mess."

So it is said.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:36 PM on May 5, 2013 [6 favorites]


I have very thick, wavy hairy, and I wonder a little bit about your hair routine. Are you shampooing every night with that shower? I shampoo about one night in three--otherwise I only condition, or else don't wet my hair at all. Most curly-haired folks I know don't let shampoo touch their hair ever. I usually run some of this through my hair as it's drying. It seems to work significantly better than other straightening serums for me. I'm not sure what you were trying to do with the leave-in; that alone wouldn't normally straighten your hair.

On some days that I wash, I'll blow dry and straighten it. And then I go as long as I can without wetting it again (three days, usually). Subsequent mornings require nothing but brushing.

Altogether I don't spend more than 15 minutes on the days that I straighten my hair on it, and usually it's more like . . . two. Anyway, it sounds to me like you're doing a lot of stuff that are likely to dry out your hair and encourage frizz. My hair behaves better the less I mess with it.

I agree that it sounds like you should get a better haircut, too.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:38 PM on May 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


If I am reading your question correctly, you're wondering if there is an easy way to straighten your hair on a day-to-day basis (aside from the chemical straightening).

No, there is not - not with thick, curly, long hair.

You can buy a high quality blowdryer and straightening iron and practice, and you will get much better at it and much faster. You can leave you hair straight for several days in a row, and just touch up with the iron. But, it will still take a while - probably 30-45 minutes depending on how long/thick your hair is for the initial straightening.
posted by insectosaurus at 8:38 PM on May 5, 2013


Here is my hair before BB.

Here is my hair after BB - 2 months after 1st BB, 2 months after 1st BB, a week after 2nd BB, a week after 2nd BB.

Totally worth $100 every 3 months.
posted by k8t at 8:52 PM on May 5, 2013


Response by poster: Per PhoBWanKenobi's question, I shampoo my hair everytime I shower with Heads & Shoulders. I don't have dandruff and I guess I want it to stay that way. I use the cheapest possible conditioner everytime I shower as well -- Suave or VO5. When I have a job, I shower every night. I'm on a little employment break, so I shower whenever I feel like it (every other day, mostly). But I think I really want to wear my hair down for work.

I put in about 20 minutes straightening my hair as it is just so I can wear it up. It reaches nowhere near the condition I'd like to wear it down, but it ends up looking mostly controlled enough to wear in a bun. I can't imagine spending much more time than that, so I thought maybe a better flattening iron would be more efficient, or I can treat my hair so my starting point is closer to the finish line. I will inquire how much BB or keratin costs around here, but I am skeptical about the cost without a guarantee of results.

I know people are suggesting I reconsider the no-curly rule or get a new haircut, but I really just want a plain yet pretty and inconspicuous 'do. If my hair could look like Alex Morgan's (when straight), that'd be excellent.
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:12 PM on May 5, 2013


Yeah, the shampoo and cheap conditioner is likely drying out your hair.
posted by sweetkid at 9:14 PM on May 5, 2013 [17 favorites]


I have very very thick, curly, and long hair which sounds similar to yours. I never ever wash my hair every day, in fact, I usually go about a week in between washings. I use trader joe's shampoo and conditioner, but I apply it very precisely. I only put the shampoo on my scalp and rub it around, to soap up my roots and scalp. Then after I wash out the shampoo, I condition the middle/ends of my hair and wash that out. All of this I do to prevent crazy frizzy hair that used to be my everyday experience.

I understand that you are not interested in styling curly hair (even though it is totally awesome!), but perhaps changing your washing schedule will keep the frizz to a minimum so that when you flat iron your hair, it is easier to manage. Otherwise, I would look into the chemical treatments that straighten your hair.
posted by ruhroh at 9:21 PM on May 5, 2013 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: (Also, thanks for the links and photos, to those who provided them.)
posted by AppleTurnover at 9:25 PM on May 5, 2013


Head & Shoulders is terrible for your hair and really, really not necessary if you don't have dandruff. I mean, I do, and I only use dandruff shampoo once every two weeks, maybe? You are probably tremendously overdrying your hair, which is likely contributing to (or causing) your frizz problem.

You don't need to completely break the bank on shampoos or anything. I generally use this shampoo. Even more important is a high quality conditioner, which you should rinse out with cool water. Again, you don't have the break the bank--but you probably have to go a little higher quality than you're using now. The suave professionals line has a rip-off off humectress which is pretty good.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:28 PM on May 5, 2013 [5 favorites]


(I had a friend in college who had amazingly shiny, smooth hair. She swore by using only this kids grape scented conditioner in her hair and never, ever shampooing. It's since become my go-to brand for conditioner, but I always feel weird recommending a product that makes one's hair smell like grape fanta.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:31 PM on May 5, 2013


I use Trader Joe's parabin free shampoo and conditioner. As PBWK said, you're overdrying your hair big time.

Again, it is probably worth the investment to do the BB. Really. Changed my life. :)
posted by k8t at 9:39 PM on May 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can't speak to the different chemical treatments, but this routine has helped my frizz A LOT. Also, I only wash my hair twice a week:

1) Wet hair, put conditioner all through your hair. The V05 you mentioned is good for this.

2) Shampoo your hair with conditioner still in. You're only cleaning the scalp and the conditioner keeps the shampoo from drying your hair out. Use a shampoo labeled "moisturizing." Ideally it will be opaque like conditioner.

3) Rinse it all out.

4) Apply your V05 again. Leave it on several minutes before rinsing.

5) Apply leave-in conditioner

This will help keep moisture in your hair. The less dried-out your hair is, the less it will hold on to water and it will be faster to dry and straighten it. Avoid products with protein in the ingredients (silk protein, wheat protein, "amino acids," etc.)

If it were me and I was trying to economize, I would try one of the relaxing kits marketed to black women. If you're worried about it doing damage, get one of the kits formulated for kids, mix up a little bit and do a strand test (cut off about an inch long piece from the underside of your hair, apply the relaxer to it for the recommended time and assess. Also be sure to do any allergy tests to the inside of your elbow the package may recommend before putting it on your scalp.)

Or, I would set it in big rollers and let it air dry. Wrestling with a heavy blow dryer for 20+ minutes is just exhausting and frustrating.

Wear a shower cap in between washes. Put it in a braid and/or tie a handkerchief over it if you're going to be doing anything frizz producing (exercise, cooking it a steamy kitchen, etc.)

Good luck!
posted by fozzie_bear at 10:58 PM on May 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


The frizziness is exacerbated by washing your hair way too often with a sulphate shampoo that is probably way too harsh. You can find better options at similar price points. You should also look into conditioner washing - it involves 'scrubbing' your scalp with your fingertips using handfuls of very cheap conditioner. Try this just once with the conditioner you've got and I guarantee it'll be like night and day for your hair.

As with all things, you can have it good, you can have it fast, or you can have it cheap, pick two.

If you want it good and cheap, you're going to have to invest time. Buy a pack of sectioning clips, a fine tooth comb and maybe a product to help things along (I used to use Kerastase Ciment Thermique when I heat styled my incredibly fragile hair, but that's a spendy product that you're unlikely to find appealing). Watch a few YouTube videos on flat ironing curly hair and be prepared to spend up to an hour each time. The benefit is that if you do it properly you'll be able to wear your hair straight for a few days - you just shouldn't be washing it so much. Buy a can of dry shampoo to deal with any greasy roots. It'll change your life.

Fast and good is a keratin treatment or Brazilian blowout, which I can't speak to, so you should really speak to a hairdresser you like and trust. It could well be money well spent for you.

Fast, cheap and good is making peace with your curly hair. Curly hair styling methods revolve around good hair care (which is fast and cheap) and hands-off styling methods (which is easy and time-efficient). It might be an idea to try giving your hair a good, honest deep condition - coconut oil is cheap and effective - and air dry, just to see how it looks.

Those are your options. I don't think there's a cheap, fast, good way to wear your hair straight if you've got masses of curls.
posted by nerdfish at 11:11 PM on May 5, 2013 [9 favorites]


Have you considered very short? Very short.

Some years ago a woman friend of mine went that way. I was skeptical when she told me her plan, because she had thick, bushy brown hair that was really a wonder to behold. Anyhow, she got it cut less than an inch long. The transformation was incredible. It featured her lovely face, especially her eyes and cheekbones. I'm not much of a fashion maven, but I really liked what this haircut did for her.

She wasn't much into makeup either.
posted by mule98J at 12:06 AM on May 6, 2013


I cannot recommend LUSH enough... I buy the cheapest everything, but their shampoo is worth every life changing penny. I use Cynthia Sylvia Stout and Retread Conditioner. If I'm feeling broke I only get the shampoo, and a decent grocery store conditioner. I shampoo once a week, twice max. It won't magically straighten hair, but it is softer, less frizzy, and more manageable. It is more likely to dry into well behaved ringlets, and is much more accepting of being straight. I agree that you are drying your hair out, and whatever you decide to do will take better and be easier to maintain if your hair is healthy and well moisturized.

Good luck!
posted by jrobin276 at 2:19 AM on May 6, 2013


I have hair that's thick and curly and kind of a nightmare. I tried a Brazilian Blowout and it looked amazing the day I came home from the salon, but I was disappointed that on my hair it never was the wash-and-go straight I'd been hoping for. If I wanted pin straight hair with the BB I still had to pull out the straightening iron.

I swear by Davine's Love conditioner (about $20 on Amazon) and Aveda's dry remedy shampoo.

Have you tried getting a different kind of pillowcase, if you want to get up and go in the mornings? I have read somewhere that regular pillowcases can contribute to frizz, I think you want silk or satin for better frizz reduction.

Honestly, though, I have to echo what others are saying, the absolute easiest thing is living with curls. I use a leave in conditioner spray every morning and Aveda's phomollient mousse and it takes 2 minutes to do my hair as opposed to 20 with a flat iron.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 2:43 AM on May 6, 2013


Having spent many years investing low-moderate amounts on product that did very little, haircuts that did little and styling that did little in an attempt to acquire hair like that you posted to, I had my hair chemically straightened on a work trip to Malaysia. It was about $120 in an upmarket salon in KL.

I now have that hair. I always thought that the frizzyness of my hair compared to others' hair was a reflection of unhealthy hair or a lack of care. (I would spend between 1-15 minutes on my hair). Now I have had it chemically brutalised into submission and it has never looked so shiny and healthy. I highly recommend the chemical solution (assume its similar to this Brazilian blowout business).
posted by jojobobo at 2:49 AM on May 6, 2013


I have similar hair. You cannot get fast/easy AND cheap AND straight. Pick two.

I've picked fast and cheap. People up above have recommended fast and straight -- my cousin has done the same, and it looks very good, though it's still slightly wavy.

1. Stop using shampoo so regularly. Especially stop using harsh shampoos so regularly. I shampoo every so often, but not every time I clean my hair.
2. Use better conditioner. I like the ABBA moisturizing one, but there are lots and lots of options. Conditioner for Black hair is generally a very good option if you have thick, coarse, curly hair.
3. Don't wash all the conditioner out. (Or put in a leave-in conditioner.)
4. Only comb your hair when it's wet.
5. Braid your hair as tightly as you can overnight -- a french braid (or two french pigtails) is ideal. Do this while your hair is still wet.

This will still be wavy, but it will look tidy.
posted by jeather at 3:13 AM on May 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


Having thick curly hair and transforming it into limp, straight hair will damage it. It may look nice temporarily, but the integrity of your hair will weaken.

First, while you're bumming around, try this one day: heat up coconut oil, soak it into your hair (it's crying for moisture) and then try and comb through it slowly with a wide-tooth comb. Then braid it, if you can. This prevents further breakage, and coconut oil is the best substance I've ever used for my wild, crazy hair. Even a few months without it gives me bad hair. It soaks into the hair and keeps individual hairs soft and moisturized.

Do this twice a month at least. It's a longterm solution (you may still struggle with your curls) but it will protect and moisturize your hair, and help smoothen it over time.

Girl, you need to put more maintenance into your curls, or you'll miss them forever! With a little care, I bet they look great. I used to hate my hair and straighten it all the time. I had to cut off so many inches and start over, and now I love my hair.

I wish I had before picture of my awful tangled bleached breakage hair days. But this is with regular care: Here.


I understand the frustration of curly hair, honestly. I hated my hair in middle school and high school so much. I never knew what to do with it. But embracing it brought me confidence. :)
posted by rhythm_queen at 3:17 AM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have the same issue. I had my long hair cut into layers and thinned, and it helped a lot. I also decided to try a brazillian blowout treatment. It costs some cash - but it lasts for months! It's worth a look into it.
posted by AbsolutelyHonest at 5:44 AM on May 6, 2013


Anecdotal - I have hair down to the middle of my back that is pretty thick and irritable. It's mostly wavy, sort of curly... but it knots easily.

I have had the BB (or Keratin) 3 times. My hair looks amazing leaving the salon. I use all safe products (no sulfates/etc), but I cannot get my hair to stay straight after *unless* I blow dry it after washing. My hair is smooth, sure, but it isn't anything resembling straight without blowing it out. The blow out takes a lot less time after the treatment, but I still hate drying my hair so I just do not bother with it.

And I've had the formaldehyde version... it's not very fun. It irritates your eyes as if you were cutting onions for an hour (they had me wear a face mask and so did the stylist), so I'm imagining it's not great for your lungs.
posted by getawaysticks at 6:13 AM on May 6, 2013


I was talking to my hairdresser about the Brazilian Blowdry, because his salon has just started doing it - they offered it a few years back but stopped because of the formaldehyde issue. The formula they use now is safe - so if you're thinking about the Brazilian, go to a reputable salon. (He said I didn't need it, because my hair's so fine and it takes minutes to dry it smooth with my Big Hair styler.)

As for the Japanese straightening, a woman at work had it done. She had very thick, wavy hair and after it was straightened it looked great... until her hair started to grow. The root regrowth was, of course, wavy and it looked just awful, with this wavy inch or so of hair and then the permanently straight hair at the end of it. It's not possible to 'do the roots' to make them straight and in the end she had to have her hair cut short to get rid of this weird straight-wavy look. She was heartbroken, it had taken her years to grow her hair, the Japanese perm cost a fortune and it all ended up looking a hot mess.
posted by essexjan at 6:26 AM on May 6, 2013


I'm not sure if it is the same as this Brazilian Blowout I'm hearing about here, but I had an old fashioned perm at the suggestion of my hairdresser a few years ago. Instead of using small rollers, he used my whole head to wind my hair around to 'relax' the curl. It worked really well! It was slightly wavy for ages and easy to manage.

Other things:
Coconut oil as suggested above, used as rhythm_queen outlines works well for me.
Braiding after washing to let it dry overnight, or as you do, tie it tightly at the nape of my neck and wind the pony into an underknot to keep the ends from fraying against my pillow
I use a satin pillow case - it does stop frizz a bit.
In the morning I run my GHDs over my hair but it takes hardly any time. GHDs are the best irons I have ever used and I have tried a bazillion.
Not using shampoo more than once a week and a very high quality salon shampoo by Kerastase. I use their anti-frizz oil too. I've tried everything and this is the best brand I've found. A bottle lasts for months.
I detangle with high quality conditioner and leave some in after rinsing most of it out.
I also wear two low pigtails in plaits on the days when my hair is being its most uncooperative. If I tie them when my hair is wet, the top stays nice n smooth.

I feel you sister!
posted by honey-barbara at 6:27 AM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


My cousin who has the same curly, frizzy hair, gets hers chemically straightened and has for years. She only shampoos once per week.

There are Brazilian, etc, but then there's also a relaxer. You can probably get this cheaper, but beware, it's pretty strong. Also, see this Malcom X story about his 'conk'.

I bought this Garnier Blow Dry Perfector at Walgreens on Saturday. It promises to last for 7 shampoos. You can try it, it's a lot cheaper than a salon treatment, but the process made me wary because I color the HELL out of my hair.

I too am urging you to use a shampoo that's designed to help smooth and defrizz your mane. I use Garnier products and I'm pleased with them.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:33 AM on May 6, 2013


Oh, and you can get cheap and straight -- I know people who've done it, and it looks fantastic, and it takes a lot of time with brushes and irons and stuff every day even once you've gotten past the learning curve, so you're probably not willing to do that. (I am not.)

I recommend learning how to french braid your hair, which keeps it tight and constrained (it keeps the smaller hair in better than other braids) and not visibly curly.
posted by jeather at 8:26 AM on May 6, 2013


> I have similar hair. You cannot get fast/easy AND cheap AND straight. Pick two.

Thirded. Especially since it sounds like you're pretty risk-adverse regarding chemicals.

When I had long hair, I wore it up in a bun most of the time, and for special occasions I used hot curlers to smooth it into prettier waves. I also got tired of having all this hair that never looked that great.

Later, I cut it into a bob and would blow-dry with some oil to help keep it smooth, which looked cute, but...humidity wins, and it made me self-conscious about my hair all the time. Also, I hated having to "do" my hair. I had it chemically straightened at a salon a few times, but that got old pretty fast. The wavy growth looked dumb, and ruined the maintenance-free smoothness -- styling was even more impossible with my roots acting like a layer of tiny cowlicks at my scalp. Not worth the expense and stink to still hate my hair half the time.

I've been wearing my hair VERY short for many years now. I love it.
posted by desuetude at 8:31 AM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, if you're going to keep using the flat iron get a heat protectant spray. The iron is damaging your hair and thereby creating more frizz. There should be lots of options at the drugstore.
posted by fozzie_bear at 8:45 AM on May 6, 2013


I have similarly thick, wavy/curly hair, and am similarly committed to low maintenance, i.e., 5 minutes maximum in the morning. If you want straight, I think the BB is the way to go. I can't be bothered to go to a hair salon every 2 months. I keep my hair between chin length and shoulder length. I wash my hair every 2 - 3 days, with Suave or whatever's on sale, and use similarly affordable conditioner; my hair is very healthy. Save the Head & Shoulders in case you develop dandruff. After washing, I use a glob of extra-hold gel, and a smaller glob of silicon-based shine spray or serum, like citre shine. The silicon laminates the hair cuticle, and makes hair slipperier and shinier. It lets my hair be curly/wavy but not frizzy/bushy. Having a layered cut also lets loose the curl. On mornings when I wash it, I let it self-dry, put on a headband, and finger-comb it if I remember. Days I don't wash it, I refresh it with spritzed water, brush it, and again finger-comb it. If I let it get too long, I french-braid it, and the gel keeps it from getting out of hand. I've learned to love my wavy-curly mass of hair.
posted by theora55 at 9:09 AM on May 6, 2013


Go to any African American salon and ask for a relaxer. This is how black women walk around without afros.
posted by shoesietart at 9:13 AM on May 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Just a note on relaxers - I've tried them (not ones for African American hair) and they burned my scalp but otherwise did nothing to relax the curl. I mean absolutely nothing.

if you went to an African American salon, I'm sure they would tell you if the relaxer would be likely to hurt your hair or not, but it still might burn your scalp etc, especially if they are stronger than the ones I tried. Not worth it in my opinion.
posted by sweetkid at 9:16 AM on May 6, 2013


Go to any African American salon and ask for a relaxer. This is how black women walk around without afros.

Yes, but most African-American women who have straight hair spend a substantial amount of time and money on it. Like, thousands of dollars a year, and many hours a week maintaining it. And that's also what women of other ethnicities who have curly hair and wear a straight hairstyle do, too. That's what people are saying. It's not that people with thick, kinky hair can't get straight hair. It's that they can't get and maintain straight hair in a way that is simultaneously fast, easy, and cheap. And even then, straightened hair is never going to have that sort of casual, flowing look in the celebrity photos the OP posted.

I have what sounds like the same hair you have. I'm a 3B/3C on this scale, and my hair is incredibly, ridiculously thick. I spend 20 years wearing my hair in a bun almost every day, just like what you're doing. I've had it straightened, and it looks great, but it is either incredibly expensive, or incredibly time consuming. If you're already spending 20 minutes a day straightening your hair, then you're already spending substantially more time than I was ever willing to spend on my hair.

I wear it curly now, in a cut that's on the shorter side (just long enough that I can pull it back if I want to, but no longer). It takes me 30 minutes total to get ready in the morning, total: 10 minutes to shower and condition my hair (no washing with shampoo!!!), 10 minutes to get dressed, 5 minutes to style and blow dry my hair (not all the way dry, just enough so that it doesn't look visibly wet when I leave the house), 5 minutes for teeth/makeup/general primping. And while it's not straight, and I envy straight hair sometimes, I know that my hair looks good, and I've come to feel really good about it once I let go of my fantasy image of being a person with "plain yet pretty and inconspicuous" straight hair. I look the way I look, and I'm not going to let envy or self-criticism make me go to ridiculous lengths to change it.

I know you say you don't want to wear it curly, but if you also don't want to put a bunch of chemicals in it (which is incredibly expensive and time-consuming), and you don't want to pay for blowouts every few days (again, expensive), and you don't want to get up earlier in the mornings to blow dry it straight, then I think your problem is literally unsolvable. There is no answer to your question that satisfies all of the conditions you've laid out. What you want is just not possible. So you have to go to your next best options, which involves either spending a lot more money, spending a lot more time and effort, or accepting that you have curly hair and learning to work with it and enjoy it for what it is.
posted by decathecting at 11:14 AM on May 6, 2013 [9 favorites]


Two more things and I'll stop: First, If you decide to try the big rollers you can get a bonnet attachment to speed up the drying. Second, find a stylist that is good with curly hair. I found mine by doing a Yelp search for "wavy hair" and "curly hair" in my city. S/he will give you a cut that will make your straightening easier or curls look better.

Not to pile on, but a relatively small investment in the right products and tools will make your hair much more tolerable. I have curly hair with a few straight sections mixed in. This would always bother me but I didn't do anything because I like to be low maintenance. I finally just bought some velcro rollers already, put them on those sections to air dry, and that little hair woe no longer takes up any of my emotional energy.
posted by fozzie_bear at 11:40 AM on May 6, 2013


I think everyone has already covered the physical options for dealing with crazy hair. I just wanted to say one related thing, that I think is important when (or if) you go about trying out these options. It seems like your identity as a low-maintenance, non-girly, casual woman is very meaningful to you. You don't care about quality products, or the right type of products, you don't want to invest much time or money. You want it all to be a quick fix, because that's the kind of person you are. I just want to say, from experience, that all of those things are not necessarily about being any kind of person. They're just about what you have to do to get the hair that's attractive and/or manageable to you. That's all. Not every woman who spends thousands of dollars and hours on her hair is some kind of super-girly, shallow, product-loving person. Most of us would love to be able to just ignore our hair and think about other things, but we simply weren't born with that kind of hair. Fighting against your whole image of yourself, in addition to your frizz, is not going to make dealing with your hair easier. It will just make you mad. You're not, like, not you anymore if you start taking care of and styling your hair.

Oh, I will say one technical thing, as someone with crazy half-wavy, formerly half-curly, PITA hair. (And sorry if I'm repeating what someone else said.) If you decide to go the good haircut + conditioning products + blow-out route, practice will make you much faster. It will take months, but there's really a muscle-memory thing that happens with blow-drying and you will eventually be able to seriously cut your time down. And as others have said, since your hair is very thick, you can probably get away with doing this only every few days, if not longer.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 1:04 PM on May 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


I shampoo my hair everytime I shower with Heads & Shoulders. I don't have dandruff and I guess I want it to stay that way. I use the cheapest possible conditioner everytime I shower as well

As others said, this is the best way to dry your hair out and leave it extremely frizzy. Stop shampooing so often, ditch the head and shoulders, use lots of conditioner. Don't rinse all the conditioner out of your hair, it needs it! If you have dandruff, try putting conditioner on your scalp as well as your hair, sometimes it's just dry skin and that will fix it.

I have your hair, it's thick, it's wavy and curly, and really frizzy when I don't treat it right. I always wanted straight hair, gave up because i'm really, really lazy and a little cheap. Now I use the devacurl hair products and stopped shampooing so much and it's made a HUGE difference on my hair. I literally rolled out of bed and didn't do a thing to my hair this morning.

For a girl with thick curly hair, I don't think there is such a thing as getting pin-straight hair that is fast and cheap.
posted by inertia at 1:24 PM on May 6, 2013


"As for the Japanese straightening, a woman at work had it done. She had very thick, wavy hair and after it was straightened it looked great... until her hair started to grow. The root regrowth was, of course, wavy and it looked just awful, with this wavy inch or so of hair and then the permanently straight hair at the end of it. It's not possible to 'do the roots' to make them straight and in the end she had to have her hair cut short to get rid of this weird straight-wavy look. She was heartbroken, it had taken her years to grow her hair, the Japanese perm cost a fortune and it all ended up looking a hot mess."

I never had this problem. I mean, the new growth was somewhat less straight, but the weight of my (long) hair weighed it down enough for it to look okay. The place I went to did touch-ups, also, so those subsequent straightening sessions I had really focused on the new growth. I think this sort of thing really depends on the individual's hair texture and length.

Thermal reconditioning (Japanese straightening) was around $500, and it gave me hair like Alex Morgan's. You just can't wear a ponytail or wash your hair for a few days after the treatment. I'm going to go ahead and nth everyone else saying that straight hair upkeep is a Big, Expensive Thing if you have curly hair (one of the reasons why I stopped).

Is your hair straighter after putting it up in a ponytail and letting it dry? If you're really committed to inexpensive fixes, you could use a moisturizing conditioner in the shower (stop shampooing! STOP!), gel your hair when wet, let it dry in a ponytail, and then straighten any parts that aren't as straight as you like. That's what I did sometimes when I was transitioning from Japanese-straightened hair to curly hair and growing everything out.
posted by topoisomerase at 1:50 PM on May 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


I mean, Alex Morgan's hair looks like that when she gets out of the shower. I know that because that's what my hair looks like when it air dries (I do not blow dry or style it). It's kind of crazy, but people with really insanely straight hair usually just...have hair like that.

(I would LOVE to have huge curly hair, or at least I think I would love it. Grass is greener).

If you want to be able to roll out of bed looking like that, you're going to have to lay down serious cash for thermal reconditioning. Just like I would have to pay for a perm to roll out of bed looking like you : )
posted by amaire at 2:02 PM on May 6, 2013


Or you could cut it short and stop either brushing or combing it as it grows. That way you'll get locks, which are surprisingly manageable.
posted by glasseyes at 4:07 PM on May 6, 2013


Response by poster: I followed the advice to not shampoo and my hair smells... like hair. It did make my hair less frizzy, but it doesn't smell nice either, even without rinsing my nice-smelling conditioner completely out. I am going to have to find some sort of better moisturizing, less abrasive shampoo and use that. The no shampoo thing doesn't seem like a great idea.

Haven't contacted a salon yet for price options, but I will. Thanks everyone.
posted by AppleTurnover at 12:16 PM on May 7, 2013


If you stick with the no-poo thing for a while (it was a month, for me) the hair smell starts to smell better. My hair smells like hair, but not in a bad, musty way.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 12:58 PM on May 7, 2013


Poster wrote in comment #3488902">> but it doesn't smell nice either, even without rinsing my nice-smelling conditioner completely out.

Unless it's leave-in conditioner, I bet it will smell better if you DO rinse the nice-smelling conditioner out. The stuff isn't formulated to maintain a pleasant scent and texture in your hair all day.

I don't go the full-on no-shampoo route, but I "wash" my hair with just plain hot water in the shower every day, and use shampoo once or twice a week.
posted by desuetude at 9:54 PM on May 7, 2013


Your first day sans shampoo did not go well because your sebacous glands have been overproducing sebum to compensate for the drying daily shampooing you've been doing. It's going to take them a while to calm down.

When you go on a low-sodium diet, at first everything tastes bland. After your taste buds make the adjustment, regular Goldfish crackers will be unbearably salty and you will wonder how the hell you ever ate them. Not that a low-sodium diet will help your hair. It's just an analogy.

Outside of North American white people, daily hair washing is an aberration. One of the reasons Indian hair is prized for extensions is that Indian women don't wreck up their cuticles with detergent. You'll be fine without daily shampoos unless you work at a construction site or do something else that actively dirties your hair on a daily basis. You just might want to wear a hat for the first couple weeks.

I fought with my curly hair (seen in my profile picture) for years. It's easier to stop fighting. I shower in the morning, blot my hair with a towel, and use a bit of leave-in conditioner on the ends only. I put sunscreen on to kill the minute it takes the conditioner to penetrate, then detangle and comb my hair while it's still wet.

When my hair is completely dry -- and this may not happen until I reach my first destination of the day -- I put a dab of pomade on one palm, rub my hands together to emulsify it over both hands, and smooth down my top layer of hair like I was petting a cat. This controls frizz.

This takes seconds, and the amount of product used is miniscule. I only shampoo when my hair is actually dirty, although I massage my scalp in the shower every morning. When I do shampoo, I do it right before bed, then slather a generous wad of conditioner on the ends. I shove my hair into a shower cap and put a ski hat with a Thinsulate layer in it over the cap.

I sleep in this and laugh my ass off when I see myself in the mirror in the morning. The heat from my scalp helps the conditioner penetrate and protect the follicle. (I read an interview with a blond Pantene model about a zillion years ago where she recommended this technique. I feel the need to specify because it really sounds bananas otherwise.)

Admittedly, I have given my hair an added layer of difficulty by color-treating it, which makes it dry as hell. The blond Pantene model was not really blond either, I suspect, which is why I felt she was a good person for me to take advice from. You can probably skip the overnight conditioning if you're not coloring.

There! Now you are in no way fussy or high-maintenance (you have to keep pomade on you, though), and your head still looks good. This is a really long comment considering it tells you not to do hardly anything, I know.
posted by cirocco at 2:37 PM on May 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: It actually looks like I am starting to get dandruff since I stopped the anti-dandruff shampoo -- lovely!

I have been trying to do research on permanent straightening treatments that do not contain formaldehyde and holy crap this stuff is expensive. Zerran RealLisse seemed to get good reviews (although who really knows if the stuff you find on Google is real or placed by the company) and it's $200+. The reviews I saw for Brazilian Blowout Zero Plus were not good -- people said after washing their hair, there was no difference and it was nowhere near as good as the toxic stuff. Finding salons that do straightening and what kind of product they use is a lot of work -- one near me uses Global Keratin, but when I Google it, I find it contains formaldehyde but the company claims otherwise. Yikes.

Finding the right treatment is going to be a lot of work to research since I don't feel like throwing $200 down the drain, if I decide I'm willing to spend it. Sigh. I know this thread is old, but if anyone can recommend a non-toxic treatment for coarse, thick, curly hair that stays long-term, I'd love to hear it.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:05 AM on May 9, 2013


The problem you're going to find is that the formaldehyde is the ingredient in most of those products that makes them permanent. Products without formaldehyde or other strong chemicals are, because they lack those ingredient, going to be more temporary. That's just how the process works. I've spent a lot of time researching this because I was considering having it done, and I have a dozen or so friends who have permanently straightened hair, and it seems to be the case that the better the results are, the more toxic the treatment was.

Permanent, by the way, still means that you're going to have to get it done every 8-12 weeks or so, because your hair will grow out and the roots will be curly and frizzy. And my understanding is that with each of those follow up treatments, every time, mean that you'll have to go 72 hours without touching your hair: no washing, no brushing, no styling of any kind. You can't even tuck the sides of your hair behind your ears for the first three days, because that will kink it and cause a permanent bend in the hair.

Also, you don't want to cheap out on this. The folks I know who do Brazilian blowouts and the like have told me that the people advertising it for $200 don't really know what they're doing (this is in DC, which is a fairly expensive city, so YMMV, but one friend told me a horror story about seeing someone whose hair literally broke off in her hand after she used a Groupon to get a straightening treatment for $99). My friends who have great results spend $400-600 per treatment, depending on how long and thick their hair is. A friend of mine who has shoulder length hair of what I would consider to be a normal thickness told me that she spends more than $3000 a year on her hair. Bottom line: make sure to ask the stylists you're considering how long they've been doing the treatment, what kind of training and continuing education they've had, and how many they've done.

I'm not telling you that you shouldn't get this treatment. The people I know who are willing to put that kind of time and money into their hair love the results, and they look great (although, as I said above, it's not a casual, sort of beachy-looking wavy straightness like the example photos you posted as the result you were seeking; it's pretty clearly styled straight). But from your original description of the kind of effort you want to put into your hair, you sound a bit like me: you want to look nice, but you're not going to make your looks a huge focus of your time, attention, and money. So I thought it might be helpful if I ran through what I learned about this process when I was considering it, and what factors ultimately made me decide not to do it. Again, YMMV.
posted by decathecting at 8:08 PM on May 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would advise you to use an anti-dandruff conditioner vs the shampoo. Rub it into the scalp and let it sit while you do other shower stuff. You can combat dandruff without drying your hair which will only exacerbate your issue.
posted by emkelley at 11:13 PM on July 13, 2013


« Older Any Tips for Booking a Cruise over New Year's Eve?   |   2 or more notes played at the same time that... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.