What Should I Do For a Fun/ Sexy/ Aesthetically Interesting Centerfold?
April 10, 2013 4:22 PM   Subscribe

Hey guys, I agreed a long time ago to do pose for a Centerfold with two of my best girlfriends in the school's 'alternative newspaper'. It's done as a foldout section in the middle pages of the paper, and we pretty much have full artistic control over it. I wanted to do something dynamic and avant garde because in the past, nobody has really taken advantage of the opportunity, and it's just been a lot of posing with dumb inanimate objects held over the crotch, or in the library, or standing around outside. I want to revitalize the genre. And I need your help!

I'm not really into looking sexy, it feels cheap and disingenuous to me. I want to do something with a lot of elements and maybe some major props, like a bounce house. I like the idea of a lot of normal, clothed people being peripherally involved, and high-narrative concept. One of my ideas was posing as nude figure models in front of an art class. We're shooting this weekend, so it has to be SOMEWHAT within reason, but we have a lot of funding at our disposal, and I think we could put together something really cool and weird!!
posted by howgenerica to Media & Arts (18 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
If you can get a good group how about turning "nude figure models in front of an art class" around and have a naked group of painters/drawers sketching you/friends fully clothed?
posted by Captain_Science at 4:28 PM on April 10, 2013 [34 favorites]

Get your friend to curl up in to balls, then lie stretched out in front of them flat on the ground - in the shape of a cock and balls. The cover your crotch with a giant bratwurst and two round vegetables. Shoot from above.
posted by biffa at 4:34 PM on April 10, 2013

A friend of mine owns a photograph of three nude women posed on a swing so their bodies make the shape of a skull.....
posted by bq at 4:49 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

You could do something like this Dali piece or something more like this tiger with body paint.
posted by Weeping_angel at 4:51 PM on April 10, 2013

Stage a big crazy party and you guys just happen to be naked. Think Terry Rodgers painting meets Beyond the Valley of the Dolls meets a Roman Bacchanal.

This one is fun because you can squeeze tons of little jokes and detail in; someone's about to spill a beer on the carpet, a really smarmy fedora wearing pick up artist is talking to one of you and you have a completely bored "are-you-fucking-kidding-me" look, one of you could have lines of coke on your butt, etc.

Also, this is really fucking cool and you are cool for doing it and I wish I was involved.
posted by Juliet Banana at 5:09 PM on April 10, 2013 [6 favorites]

Women and men wearing all-encompassing black cloaks and shrouds, cut strategically to display ONLY the nipples and genitals.
posted by sarastro at 5:11 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

How about a Phantogram, and distribute the red/cyan glasses?
posted by Sophont at 5:13 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

What about taking the nude models in art class a step into the nerdy and make it so that each of you nude models has one element of a super hero costume (ie cape, shield, lasso, etc)?
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:33 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Get another friend and do the "dogs playing poker" tableau, nude with strategically placed cards.
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet at 5:57 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

I really like Juliet Banana's suggestion of a crazy party. You could really fill the frame with people and have the nude people scattered throughout, acting casually. Could be really fun!

Other ideas:

- I like the idea of doing it some place very public and ordinary. Like at a grocery store, library, airport, classroom. Once again, nude people just acting naturally, interacting with the clothed clerk (or whoever).

- I think taking the picture through the window of a house or apartment could be really cool (taken from the outside looking in). Possibly have a nude person peeping in at the people inside. The people inside the house could be doing anything: having supper, arguing, zoning out in front of the TV, looking at themselves in the mirror. Nudes could be inside and outside.

Sounds like a really fun project! Good luck!
posted by hannahelastic at 6:26 PM on April 10, 2013

Pose with absolutely no makeup and clothing under fluorescent grocery store lights.

They the caption will be "Fully Naked."
posted by Birchpear at 8:26 PM on April 10, 2013 [6 favorites]

Pose under a vat full of 20 sided die? Or maybe fill an hour glass with them? (now i have this in my head. thanks mefi)
posted by Jacen at 8:45 PM on April 10, 2013

If you're feeling srtsy, there's always the Three Graces.

The most famous interpretations are probably Botticelli, Rubens, and Raphael. For sculpture, there's Canova and a boatload of anonymous Greek and Roman pieces.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:42 PM on April 10, 2013

If you want to make a statement, you could make one about LGBT rights. What about a disassembled threesome in the shape of an approximately equal sign?

I imagine the three of you are laying on your sides, maybe in grass, and the photographer is shooting from above. You are all posed as if you were touching/kissing, but entirely separate and not touching at all. If you all have longish hair you could pull it out above your heads to elongate the symbol. Of course, one of you would be pretty "straight" (heh) but that would be the person on the "bottom", and the others could easily bend their legs/arms to make the squiggle equal sign. Something like this (so sorry I am not a very good artist!)?
posted by ancient star at 9:51 PM on April 10, 2013

I like the recent trend of Japanese schoolgirls kamehameha-ing with their friends in photos. Something like that, that shows immediate, cool action would be excellent as a centerfold.
posted by Brody's chum at 10:03 PM on April 10, 2013

Probably too complex to pull off without a lot of models and post-production, but your question made me think of these LULzy Club 18-30 print ads.
posted by ZipRibbons at 1:42 AM on April 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

The cover photo of Abbey Road? Manet's The Picnic, but with nude/clothed reversed? Is there some local landmark you could rent/occupy? You could do the paint on bikini's a'la Sports Illustrated.
Are there any famous photos associated with your town? For example, if you're in NYC, you could re-enact Lunch Atop a Skyscraper, or in Dallas, Jack Ruby's shooting of Lee Harvey Oswald.
posted by at at 7:25 AM on April 11, 2013

If you can get a good group how about turning "nude figure models in front of an art class" around and have a naked group of painters/drawers sketching you/friends fully clothed?

I don't know if it'll affect your decision, but fyi, this was a National Lampoon cover.
posted by stebulus at 7:35 AM on April 11, 2013

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