Tips for Slashing Facebook Friends
March 27, 2013 4:55 PM   Subscribe

I recently moved across 2 states and am working on starting fresh on my Facebook friends. Have you slashed friends on Facebook? What criteria helped you decide who stays and who goes? I don't want to hurt feelings but what's the purpose of someone just hanging out on a friend's list?

As it says, I recently moved to a new state. Therefore I have found many of my old Facebook friends not really friends anymore. We don't talk online, and I wouldn't visit with them if I were to go "home". I have previously slashed my friend's list down to under 100 (from about 120 ish) in and shortly after college by first starting with people who wouldn't say "hi" to me if they saw me on the street, then removed people with crazy conspiracy theories and the like. (You know, when you look at a post and say "Yikes!").

Lately I have really wanted to keep going, even though I am only at 84 friends. Today I even went as far as to post an honest opinion to someone I had been holding in for years. Needless to say it felt great, and required me to block some people after. I generally don't share political views -or argue- and most of the people who tend to go off the list first are those who have strong opposite opinions, although I try to get along with everyone's views. (Which is also why I don't talk about it.)

Now I am kind of stuck. I think my criteria stands that if we don't talk, they don't interact with me on Facebook, and I wouldn't visit them if I went home, then they should go. But should I ask a couple of the "maybes" how they feel about our friendship? I just want a fresh start without so much baggage and people who aren't real friends. I also want to move toward eventually making friends in my new state, or making new online friends (fresh mefi-er here!).

New friends for me can be a challenge because I currently work from home and my husband and I don't do the bar-scene or other things yet where we could make new friends. We also both don't mix co-workers and Facebook. Therefore I don't want to slash to the point of regret.

My goal is to be to a place with real friends that share funny or thoughtful content, or regular life updates that I care about, and for them to care about me. I also use Facebook as my primary chat platform before Skype or Text.

What helps you decide who to keep and who goes?
Have you purged your friends and ever regretted it?
Have you chatted with someone about your online friendship? (For instance what you each get out of it..)
Should personal/political views play a part? (I am definitely guilty of knowing that they do for many who have been very opinionated, but I'm not sure if should factor into people who are less openly opinionated.)
What number of friends have you felt comfortable with?
What types of friends have been the best Facebook friends for you?

Before you ask, it's not an option to delete my Facebook. I follow many comedians, my in-laws, my parents, other family, and tons of online only friends who live all over the country. I also work in Internet Marketing so not having a Facebook would basically be a crime and not allow me to make the business pages I need.

Thank you all in advance!
posted by Crystalinne to Society & Culture (31 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm curious what you hope to gain from 'unfriending' someone that you could not gain from simply 'quieting' them on your newsfeed but remaining friends in the background. That way the connection is still there if you ever have regrets down the road and/or one or the other of you wants to get in touch for some reason. For example, when a favorite high school teacher of mine passed away a couple of years ago, I was really glad to be able to connect with high school classmates online and in person and share recollections of her, even though I had/have literally zero contact with these folks otherwise. You never know when circumstances could make it nice to connect with folks again, so absent a huge falling out, I don't see the point of deleting folks rather than simply getting them out of your news feed if they are annoying/irrelevant/uninteresting.
posted by rainbowbrite at 5:04 PM on March 27, 2013 [13 favorites]


I typically use "Would I say hi to you if I ran into you in public?" as my standard.

I am also willing to de-friend if someone expresses egregiously awful political views. I've de-friended a few people over the years for bad social networking manners, especially people who play a ton of those dumb games and invite me to join in multiple times per day. I do less of these things now that "hide" is an option.
posted by Sara C. at 5:05 PM on March 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


I tend to let them stay, but I just silence them so I don't see their updates. Though I did see one test I liked on Facebook today (via reddit). It said, "Like this status if you hate the idea of gay marriage." It had 21 likes, then there was an update that said, "Keep 'em coming so I know who else to unfriend."
posted by cjorgensen at 5:05 PM on March 27, 2013 [23 favorites]


The best advice I've ever got on this subject was to look at whose birthday it is, and decide if you want to actually wish them a happy birthday.

If you don't, cut them that day.

They will almost literally never notice. Everyone's FB is crazy on their birthday.
posted by Medieval Maven at 5:06 PM on March 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


I actually haven't had a facebook profile myself since about a year and a half ago, so I don't know if this advice is out of date, but in my social milieu (college-educated mid-20s folks who began school just as facebook opened up to the general student public) it was considered quite drastic-- histrionic even-- to defriend someone, equivalent to an over-the-top slap in the face even if you barely knew the person. It does sound pretty ridiculous, but that was definitely the prevailing attitude, at least among my own circles. If this prospect concerns you, perhaps consider hiding their updates or whatever.
posted by threeants at 5:07 PM on March 27, 2013


As an old broad, I have folks on my Facebook that I see about once every comet. I'm always happy to see how they're doing, what the grandkids look like, and things like that.

I guess you de-friend anyone who you don't care about any more, not for any reason, under any circumstance.

I only de-friend people who piss me off with uber-conservative, offensive, political shit.

YMMV.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:12 PM on March 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


My personal rule is: If I saw you in the street, would I recognize you? And if so, would I want to say hello? If it's yes, then they stay. I quiet a lot of people though to keep my newsfeed interesting and manageable.

Exceptions to keep people are made for people who I find particularly interesting, or who I may want to network with professionally some day.
posted by JannaK at 5:17 PM on March 27, 2013


I generally defriend people who troll my Wall (say mean-spirited or grumpy things), or people who post completely stupid things (share this photo to win a free iPad) that I feel compelled to make snarky comments about.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:20 PM on March 27, 2013


I only keep people who I've hugged in the past year or so.

Then again, I'm a hugger.

I also get rid of anyone who posts racist/homophobic/classist anything, and I hid the posts of a lot people during election season. I seem no worse off for not having unhidden them since.

I've never had a conversation, IRL or online, about what we're getting out of our friendship. I don't really understand where you're coming from on that one - what do you hope to gain? For me, that would be a very awkward and off-putting conversation.
posted by punchtothehead at 5:28 PM on March 27, 2013


I don't want to hurt feelings but what's the purpose of someone just hanging out on a friend's list?

I guess the answer to your question is also why it's not really possible to do this without hurting feelings (if the person notices): the purpose is to know what they're up to and for them to see what you're up to. And saying to someone, "I don't really care what you're up to" will hurt their feelings, if they care about you and thought you cared about them.

Have you chatted with someone about your online friendship? (For instance what you each get out of it..)

Raising the question "what do we even get out of our friendship, really?" will make the other person feel bad, if they aren't already feeling disconnected from you.

Just hide their updates. I do this with anyone who posts too much or too frivolously.
posted by palliser at 5:35 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


But should I ask a couple of the "maybes" how they feel about our friendship?

I think I would feel kind of weird if any of my friends wanted to have a conversation about our friendship. Instead of that, why not just contact them and have a normal chat? That way you can gauge how things feel or even rekindle the friendship.

If you are deadset on Fresh Start deletions, you can always ask yourself if the person would notice being deleted or if you care whether or not they notice. I've found those to be pretty good indicators.
posted by wimpdork at 5:36 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've done several solid rounds of eliminating "friends". This includes real-world associates, family etc. I have mainly removed those with radically different political/religious/social views (Obama supporters, etc) and my facebook experience has been a million times better since. Why be friends with people you don't care for?
posted by blaneyphoto at 5:37 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


My FB friends are a mix of people I've known forever/etc., people I've met at various events or friendly "professional" acquaintances. (My rule is typically: If we haven't met in person, would we know who the other was if we did? There has to be some sort of "exchange" before I friend someone.)

As far as it goes in getting rid of people, I usually do this test: Do I ever interact with this person? Do I enjoy when they interact with me even if I have them otherwise hidden? Do I think they'll notice if I unfriend them and say something? (Exceptions made for family members/etc.)

I usually give people several "strikes" before getting rid of them, but I do periodic clean-ups (usually Jan. 1 and around my birthday in the summer). I want FB to be as beneficial and positive for my friends as it s for me. I'm not interested in collecting friends just to do it, nor am I interested in being just a part of someone else's friend collection. I want us all to be having fun and enjoying knowing each other.

But other people use FB differently. Mostly, though, don't overthink it, but don't get rid of people lightly, either.
posted by darksong at 5:38 PM on March 27, 2013


My goal is...for them to care about me

Eighty-four people...? Nah.

You have to puzzle out what you want out of social media a bit more. I have "friends" I would not recognise, never mind have to figure out a greeting/cut for, that I enjoy because they are: local and always on the ball with brief restaurant recommendations, or they are uploading great photos from abroad, or they are a dear friend's beloved and hilarious aunt or... I actually find those tangential relations like the last to be very nice. So what if you wouldn't go out of your way visit somebody in real life? Facebook et al are marvellous tools for, well, networks. It's not supposed to be just your nearest and dearest. It comes in handy when somebody has a Major Life Event -- rainbowbrite's old teacher is a great example of this. I had my phone number listed and this resulted in a 'Mazel tov!' phone call from a high school friend after I uploaded a snap of my newborn child. A friend in another country just went through a health crisis and through FB crowdfunded the plane tickets for her aunt to fly in and help out with her kids.

But should I ask a couple of the "maybes" how they feel about our friendship?

Dear me. No.

If you want to drop them in the name of reduced baggage and fresh starts, drop them, but nobody wants to discuss that sort of thing. Beware of burning bridges; if you have been for-real friends with somebody in the past and up and friend-dump them for what will appear to be no reason, it may be difficult to 're-friend,' on or off-line.
posted by kmennie at 5:46 PM on March 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


It's a Thing with some of my friends to occasionally post that they are about to trim their Facebook friendslist and people who don't want to be cut should reply with the reason why they should be "saved". I see these posts from people who don't know one another, so I guess this is a generally accepted way of deciding what friends to keep. (For the record, I can't remember ever responding to one of these and none of the people who like to post them have unfriended me yet, so it's obviously not their only criteria.)

I've also seen people make posts along the lines of: "I need to trim my friendslist so I'm only keeping people who fit x criteria (know in person, talk to regularly, don't see all the time in person, etc.)." A similar script might work for you if you don't want to burn bridges. I suppose people who were really invested in that sort of thing might try to figure out if the people you kept really met your stated criteria, but that would just tell me that dropping them was the right thing to do.

I tend to cut people whenever I find myself wondering why I'm still FB friends with them, either due to the content of the things they post or because they're people I've never known very well (former co-workers, say) and have no contact with outside of Facebook. I don't make any kind of announcement and so far no one has complained to me about being unfriended.
posted by camyram at 6:17 PM on March 27, 2013


I had unfollowed (but not unfriended) a few people over the years; people who I bear no ill will towards, but just clogged up my feed with tons of junk. I hadn't actually defriended anyone until recently, though: In the wake of the Newtown massacre, I went on a defriending spree of obnoxious conservatives.

I should've done it long ago; none of these people who I defriended have actually been my friend in decades, but beyond that, Facebook taught me that I actively disliked these particular adults who I knew as children. I am glad I did it; going to Facebook is much more pleasant now than it was in the past.
posted by Flunkie at 6:21 PM on March 27, 2013


I think FB purging is a beautiful thing. If you want to maintain remote connections with acquaintances, use LinkedIn.

For me, it got to the point I was so turned off by some really offensive postings by a high school classmate that I realized very clearly: I want my social networks to exist as a positive supplement (not focal point) to my life. The time I spent scanning random acquaintances' personal posts, or getting sucked into "FB-stalking" old classmates to see who got fat or divorced is time that adds absolutely no value to my day. In fact, I felt like it actively enforced really negative components of my personality. Not to mention I often ate ice cream while doing it.

I'm a fairly private person, too, and I felt strongly that I didn't want to broadcast my life to a bunch of strangers. I want FB to function as a way to share important information with friends and family I care about both near and far. I want to hear about cousin's new babies and aunt's random slightly-obnoxious quotes or kitten pictures, as a way of still maintaining a bit of touchstone between us. I realize there's a gazillion lists and sub-settings and meta-sub-settings, but honestly. This thing should be a minor supplement to a robust IRL life, not a part-time job to manage.

My basic criteria when I was going through was the following (as I kept some very brief friends made at conferences and deleted people I'd known since Kindergarten): If I am in your city/region with ample time, would I want to get together for coffee or a drink?

It worked pretty well. Happy to say I purged nearly half my list, and don't regret it 99% of the time. 1% of the time my base, shallow personality gets the better of me and I REALLY want to see how ugly some girl's baby is.

If I come across some former "friend" in my city, I will be perfectly civil to them. If they are offended that we aren't FB friends...well, my general sentiments on their maturity are thus proven. If we have some value to each other on contacts, I'll look forward to linking them on a professional network. I've had a number of old FB'rs reconnect there and the level of interaction is just about perfect.

I keep waiting for the day when FB will crest then recede into a thing people think about only when they need to get updated holiday card addresses...
posted by keasby at 6:32 PM on March 27, 2013 [10 favorites]


I have unfriended maybe 5 people, and at least one of them got all bent out of shape about it. Not worth it. Just hide them on your news feed unless you really don't like them.
posted by musofire at 6:34 PM on March 27, 2013


I try to keep mine under 50, because that's where my feed is fairly reasonable in terms of pace and interest. I guess I could hide people instead, but I would rather unfriend people, for reasons keasby described nicely.

Criteria:
- Fun: Are their posts interesting?
- Cultivating relationships: Do we already talk often? Would I like to talk to them more often?
- Access: Is this a friend I would like to keep in touch with whom I would not see outside of Facebook? (e.g. more casual friends who live far away)

It's sort of like the question of paring down your book collection: Is this book something you will read again? Is it rare and difficult to replace? Is it useful?

People I feel no guilt about dropping:
- acquaintances I'm not actually talking to for any reason
- people I went to school with and no longer live near or share values with
- people who post about their every movement
- politics/religion posters, see also: pyramid schemes
- work contacts; that is what LinkedIn is for!

There is one person I would like to unfriend but haven't because it would ruffle feathers, but for the most part my unfriending has gone without comment.
posted by heatherann at 6:35 PM on March 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Oh dear. I feel for you. I've been going through the same feelings myself... and started picking out people to delete.

What helps you decide who to keep and who goes?
I'd want to ditch people who (a) probably would ignore me if we passed each other in public (b) are distant enough from me that we really don't need to hear each others life stories/updates. Then I tried to figure out people who (c) would not think to invite me, specifically, to anything (for example, they might just blast everyone indiscriminately with invites, or they do things with other circles of friends). It turns out that covers most of my Facebook 'friends'.

Have you purged your friends and ever regretted it?
I tried... but it turned out to be 90-95% of my list (500+). It was too tedious to delete everyone, so I ended up just deactivating instead. No one seems to care ^^; and I don't have any regrets.

Have you chatted with someone about your online friendship? (For instance what you each get out of it..)
I've wanted to, but I doubt it'd do much good. Most people probably don't think about these things, or when asked they wouldn't know how to respond. Recently, I decided to prioritize my friendship activities IRL (or, online but on a more personal level, like IM or email), thus demoting online friendships in my mind.

Should personal/political views play a part?
Eh. I dunno.

What number of friends have you felt comfortable with?
I guess I dunno how to answer this anymore since I see Facebook more like a glorified acquaintance address book than it is actually a catalog of actual people who are friends. 500+ such acquaintances sorted into a few location-based lists was fine with me.

What types of friends have been the best Facebook friends for you?
The ones who like all the stuff I post ^_-. But all that says about them was that they're online like all the time...
posted by The Biggest Dreamer at 6:36 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thanks for everyone's answers so far!

1) Maybe I should have rephrased that "Chat with them about our friendship" thing better. I guess I more meant chat with them in the sense of "Hey, I am looking to chat more with and keep up with my close friends on Facebook, how have things been with you?" and see how it goes with them. Not in a sense of "If you don't talk to me we aren't friends". Does that make more sense?

2) I definitely understand as many (for example rainbowbright) said about wanting to keep in touch, however I am not at all close to many high school friends, nor do I care about high school/college alumni events. I think most of the big news things like that I would find out from my parents who still live there, although it's still a good point and may apply to some people on my list.

3) I think my main reason for not just hiding people is that I don't necessarily want them to see all my things shared to them if we aren't interacting. They would still then be "in my life" depending on what I put on Facebook - unless I block them from that update, which again, why are they on my friend's list.

4) I had many more people on my friends list when I got married almost a year ago, only a few people commented on that, and speaking of birthdays, only 11 people wished me Happy Birthday (of 88 at the time most were family.) So I'm not sure if I need to keep them around for life events since I won't have children or something. It's at this point more depressing when people don't say happy birthday and you know they have been online that day. (My birthday was March 18 so it lead me to thinking about this more recently.)

5) I think everyone has had great insight. I will mark a few bes answers. If you think of anything else helpful let me know! :)
posted by Crystalinne at 6:43 PM on March 27, 2013


I have done this in the past and over time ended up readding a lot of people just to see what they're up to years later. I recommend that you put them on a restricted friends list muted from your feed and forget about them. The more people that you add, the more you have access to and it's not like you have finite space.
posted by theraflu at 8:24 PM on March 27, 2013


fb-f is any Facebook friend in question

IF fb-f is not one of your closest of buddies AND no interaction in months
>>>>unfriend(fb-f) //unfriend that facebook friend

ELSE-IF fb-f spams a lot
>>>>unfriend(fb-f)

ELSE-IF fb-f posts a lot (as in too much)
>>>>IF you can stand it
>>>>>>>>continue
>>>>ELSE
>>>>>>>>unfriend(fb-f)

ELSE-IF you are not sure why added this guy AND you are not sure even after checking his profile
>>>>unfriend(fb-f)

ELSE-IF fb-f pisses you off and dampens your mood by comments or so(all the time)
>>>>IF fb-f is one of the closest of buddies
>>>>>>>>continue
>>>>ELSE
>>>>>>>>unfriend(fb-f)

ELSE //this is important
>>>>IF you care for fb-f in any damn way other than you just being human
>>>>>>>>IF that caring is good enough //repeat this for days
>>>>>>>>>>>>continue
>>>>ELSE
>>>>>>>>unfriend(fb-f)


Okay, I was just trying to be funny too :-)
But this has worked for me. I bought my list from 700+ to 167(current).

I also apply this filter : do not add if haven't met in person (but that might just be me)
I use Facebook only for messaging those friends who can't give up on Facebook yet - nth else, so I might not understanding the gravity of all this.

PS. bug reports will be appreciated.
posted by amar at 8:55 PM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yes, I purge my FB friends list frequently. If they're not active, I have no use for them on FB. That doesn't affect how I feel about them or interact with them in other venues. A few people have told me that being unfriended by me hurt their feelings, and occasionally I've re-added someone. Mostly they don't notice.
posted by melesana at 10:26 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


What is the purpose of this? I don't defriend someone unless I genuinely don't like them or want them to be able to see my profile at all. Otherwise, on the newsfeed, I just tell Facebook to stop showing me updates from people I don't care about. You can also limit which updates certain people can see from you. It's not as easy to use as Google+ circles, but you can have different visibility for different people. You are burning bridges for absolutely no reason. And the fact that you decided to "tell off" someone and had to block people as a result makes me think you're the one doing other people the favor by unfriending them.
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:28 PM on March 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Thanks again everyone for responses. This was all very helpful.

1) I have gone ahead and went from 84 friends to 71. Some may still go in the next few months. I have a few situations I am also still figuring out. Therefore not too extreme.

2) As some have pointed out you may want to not "burn bridges" or dash friends that didn't do anything wrong to me. However the majority of the people I have removed I have not spoken a single word to (text, comment, or Like) in at least one year, up to 4 or more in many more cases. If we live in different states and haven't spoken since our first year of college I don't think we are really "friends" and I don't feel like they need to peek into my life. I prefer to keep my life more private. (Hence my many privacy settings, blocking for certain updates, and picking my updates carefully.)

Before the age of Facebook (or Myspace, Friendster, etc.) if you were to see someone you hadn't spoken a single word to in over a year, would you then just spill out your life to them? Here's the pizza I made. Here's the cute thing my husband said the other day. Did you watch that episode of Mad Men?? Here are all my wedding pictures! Did you want to wish me a happy birthday now orr....? - I don't think that would happen. Maybe you would catch up causally which is what I will do if I do catch up with removed people IRL. I doubt many I deleted would even notice. If they want to re-add me I am mostly open to it.

Many people have added me to try to "catch up", however they haven't send a single "Hello" which leads me to believe they just want to creep on my life because it's set to "Friends Only."

3) I would like to clarify to AppleTurnover that the telling-off was a long time coming. I simply said what I needed to say, not bitchy or "f-you" and removed them as friends. I simply responded with my opinion of the opinion they posted publicly. I blocked some people that responded because Facebook kept pinging me when they responded - even though they weren't friends, and I was over it. I removed them immediately because I didn't want to argue. In that situation, the friendship was over a long time ago and is not at all the norm of how I handle situations. I think it also, in your opinion, it may have been a favor to them as well, because as I said the friendship really ended a long time ago, at least in my mind. If they want to contact me via normal channels - they can.

4) Again thank you all. I really liked some things that I wouldn't have thought of - such as if I would wish them a Happy Birthday. I also realized how many people I really haven't spoken to in ages. For many people I removed I show no malice toward but I prefer more real or genuine interactions. For instance a friend I am quite distant from called me on my birthday to wish "us" - we share a b-day - "a happy birthday." That is what I hope for with my friendships, online or IRL. I am hoping for a fresh start with some new friends that I share more activities with/live closer.
posted by Crystalinne at 12:29 AM on March 28, 2013


What helps you decide who to keep and who goes?

-Well, er, do I like this person? (You'd be surprised how many people have Facebook 'friends' whom they actually dislike!)
-Do I ever see this person? Or is it from that one party I went to in 2010 where I met a bunch of people and friended them all and have never seen them since?
-Do we ever interact directly, whether that's something as innocuous as a 'like' or more meaningful interaction (messaging, comments, posts etc). 'Happy birthday' posts don't really count for this. Not for me anyway.*

Have you purged your friends and ever regretted it?

-Went from 300+ to 200+. Never regretted it!

*Anecdote here: I used to be Facebook friends with a guy with whom I had reasonable levels of interactions with, both online and offline. We would like each other's stuff, comment on pictures, send private messages, etc. Anyway, I realised randomly some time back that he had unfriended me - I think I saw him post on a mutual friends' page and when I clicked on his name it gave me the 'Add Friend' option that Facebook does when you go to the page of someone whom you're not already connected to. And I was like: "...oh." That stung quite a bit! I don't think that the girl from high school whom I never interact with on Facebook would have the same reaction if she realised that I'd unfriended her!
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:57 AM on March 28, 2013


As an aside, Facebook allows you to create friend groups that you can direct your posts to, which helps with the "I don't want certain people to see everything I post" thing.
posted by camyram at 5:34 AM on March 28, 2013


I want my social networks to exist as a positive supplement (not focal point) to my life.

This is an excellent point. While I, personally, am in the "never unfriend, only hide" camp (works for me because, among other things, I use Facebook as a lowercase-f facebook), this means I've hidden people who make frequent political posts opposed to my own view, but I've also hidden some people who make frequent political posts which are in agreement with my own politics, if they're mostly OutrageFilter posts ("look at this horrible thing someone on the other side said!") because those only serve to raise my blood pressure, and I don't need to see them even if I agree with them.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:52 AM on March 28, 2013


I know of some people who do periodic purging of their Facebook lists as well and have since taken up the practice myself. I think it's good to do it periodically after bursts of heavy Facebook activity. For example, I was recently doing a Master's program and came into contact with lots of people, many of whom I added on Facebook. Now that the program has been over for a while, it's given me enough temporal distance to figure out who from that list I'd like to keep in touch with.

Outside of that, my general guideline is:

1. Have we had any sort of contact in the past six months? This can be interacting via Facebook, messaging online, e-mails, whatever.
2. If we haven't interacted recently, do I find the content you share on FB to be interesting? Some people lead interesting lives and while we may not keep in contact regularly it is fun seeing their vacation photos or their links to online content I might have otherwise missed.
3. This one is similar to yours, but if I happened to be in your city would I contact you and try to set up some kind of meeting to catch up?

If the answer to all three questions is no, then I usually go ahead and remove someone from my friends list.
posted by C^3 at 11:39 AM on March 28, 2013


I'm not sure you know what the term burning bridges means. Just because you haven't talked to someone in a year doesn't mean you may never find the fact that you know them/are friendly with them useful in your entire life. (Again, I filter out my posts so different people can't see everything I post.)

I've definitely helped keep my network alive and growing simply by interacting through 'likes' with people I haven't spoken to in years, and then because of that, being able to reach out to them for help. I had someone de-friend me while maintaining their Facebook (and remaining friends with some mutual friends) and then later they reached out to me to help a friend of theirs with a job. You can bet I never responded to that email.

Facebook really isn't the place to publicly confront people and tell people off. And if my friendship with someone was over, I certainly wouldn't try to publicly humiliate them instead of just moving on and accepting that we are no longer friends. Maybe you use Facebook differently than I do.
posted by AppleTurnover at 11:01 PM on March 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


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