Communicating in the Workplace
February 7, 2013 7:03 PM Subscribe
Whenever supervisors/hr/management walk by my desk and greet me, I always reply with a "hi! how are you?" It's the go to question, but it seems like an automatic response now and it seems like the people involved and myself included are annoyed of this question being asked (and understandably so). But, it just seems like the easiest thing that I can ask to someone who greets me, yet walks towards their desk as we're talking. Keep in mind that their desks are very far away from mine. But, with that being said, what are some other questions that I can ask them while they're walking past my desk? I'm looking for questions that are polite, friendly, and hopefully conversation starters. I'd really like to know these people better considering I've worked there for over two years and yet we don't know anything about each other.
Don't ask them questions while they're walking past your desk. Just say a friendly hi and that's it. They may be annoyed because you're trying to have a conversation with them when they're just trying to walk past. If you want to get to know them, stop by their desk and ask them a question if they don't seem busy with something else, or ask them to coffee or lunch or out for a walk, or start a conversation when they're pouring a cup of coffee. Make an effort at conversation when they're more open to it. On a Monday morning, say "How was your weekend?" Or make a friendly remark about a project you're both working on.
posted by chickenmagazine at 7:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by chickenmagazine at 7:11 PM on February 7, 2013 [3 favorites]
"Hi! Good to see you." is my go-to response instead of asking a question.
If they want to talk to you, they will. They're being polite by saying hello. Do the same.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 7:12 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
If they want to talk to you, they will. They're being polite by saying hello. Do the same.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 7:12 PM on February 7, 2013 [2 favorites]
"How's yer day?"
If they're busy or don't feel like talking, they'll say good or fine, which are both perfectly appropriate and friendly for work. If they are feeling chatty, they'll open it up for a followup.
posted by mochapickle at 7:16 PM on February 7, 2013
If they're busy or don't feel like talking, they'll say good or fine, which are both perfectly appropriate and friendly for work. If they are feeling chatty, they'll open it up for a followup.
posted by mochapickle at 7:16 PM on February 7, 2013
Don't be generic. Remember what they talk to you about and then ask them for updates.
IE, 'how was your daughter's soccer game?", etc.. .
posted by empath at 7:17 PM on February 7, 2013
IE, 'how was your daughter's soccer game?", etc.. .
posted by empath at 7:17 PM on February 7, 2013
Response by poster: I'm not trying to threadsit, but I just wanted to say thanks for the replies so far. I was worried that my response may have seemed annoying and that it would be rude if I only said "hi."
Another question too:
If my back is facing these people whenever they walk by, then is it okay for me to wait until they say hello first? I never greet them unless they say something first. The reason being that i don't want to get in their way. I also sometimes am in my own world and don't notice them until they've walked a bit further away. But, I'm worried that it seems rude especially since our office is an open office concept. Is this an appropriate response?
posted by livinglearning at 7:20 PM on February 7, 2013
Another question too:
If my back is facing these people whenever they walk by, then is it okay for me to wait until they say hello first? I never greet them unless they say something first. The reason being that i don't want to get in their way. I also sometimes am in my own world and don't notice them until they've walked a bit further away. But, I'm worried that it seems rude especially since our office is an open office concept. Is this an appropriate response?
posted by livinglearning at 7:20 PM on February 7, 2013
Response by poster: Also, I don't know them at all so I can't ask those types of questions as suggested by empath. Although they are much better than generic questions...
posted by livinglearning at 7:21 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by livinglearning at 7:21 PM on February 7, 2013
I am a manager. IANYM. If I walk by or through other people's workspace, I assume they're working and don't interrupt them for greetings, beyond a simple "hi." If we don't make eye contact that's fine too unless I need more interaction. In an open work environment/office one would never get anything done if one felt the need to socialize every time someone drifts by.
So - as to your follow-on question, it's not reasonable for them to think you're rude/ignoring them, and I doubt they do.
As for the desire for more interaction on your part, I'm afraid if they're your superiors and/or not really part of your immediate work team the ball may be at least somewhat in their court, and if you're getting the vibe they don't want to stop and chat, well, that's that. It's a weird thing about a medium large office that you may see someone every day and never really get to know them, but that's life. I'd focus more on the people you interact with naturally in your daily work tasks.
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:44 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
So - as to your follow-on question, it's not reasonable for them to think you're rude/ignoring them, and I doubt they do.
As for the desire for more interaction on your part, I'm afraid if they're your superiors and/or not really part of your immediate work team the ball may be at least somewhat in their court, and if you're getting the vibe they don't want to stop and chat, well, that's that. It's a weird thing about a medium large office that you may see someone every day and never really get to know them, but that's life. I'd focus more on the people you interact with naturally in your daily work tasks.
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:44 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]
You can also take cues from your coworkers. If no one else stops what they're doing to chat up passersby, you probably shouldn't either. Not only will it annoy the managers, but you'll look like a brownnoser to your colleagues.
posted by payoto at 7:49 PM on February 7, 2013
posted by payoto at 7:49 PM on February 7, 2013
Invite them to lunch. It'll be less awkward if you start with a group.
New set of problems, but I think it's generally the done thing.
posted by amtho at 11:00 PM on February 7, 2013
New set of problems, but I think it's generally the done thing.
posted by amtho at 11:00 PM on February 7, 2013
If a bald single-syllable "hi!" seems a bit abrupt, how about "good morning!" or "good afternoon!" Drop the need to ask a question in your greetings. It's nice that you want to start a conversation, but these supervisors and managers are just walking through: they probably don't WANT a conversation --- 'good morning/afternoon' is friendly and polite, but leaves that conversation/no conversation question open to whatever they choose to do.
As for who greets who first: since they'll be walking past your back, let them say something, then only if they specifically greet you do you turn around and reply --- they know you're working and they're possibly interrupting, and they'd FAR rather have you concentrate on your work than paying attention to who's walking past.
posted by easily confused at 3:12 AM on February 8, 2013
As for who greets who first: since they'll be walking past your back, let them say something, then only if they specifically greet you do you turn around and reply --- they know you're working and they're possibly interrupting, and they'd FAR rather have you concentrate on your work than paying attention to who's walking past.
posted by easily confused at 3:12 AM on February 8, 2013
How was your weekend? / Any fun plans for this weekend?
But yeah nthing that a simple greeting is really all you need here. If they are specifically walking up to your desk and standing there staring at you and you don't say something then yes, you are ignoring them. If they are just walking by and saying hi to people as they pass then no, you are not ignoring them by returning a simple greeting.
posted by magnetsphere at 7:16 AM on February 8, 2013
But yeah nthing that a simple greeting is really all you need here. If they are specifically walking up to your desk and standing there staring at you and you don't say something then yes, you are ignoring them. If they are just walking by and saying hi to people as they pass then no, you are not ignoring them by returning a simple greeting.
posted by magnetsphere at 7:16 AM on February 8, 2013
In the morning, "Good Morning!" In the afternoon, "Hello Chris" assuming it's a 1st name environment. If your back is turned, a quick wave is all that's needed. Using people's names is the extra thing you can do that makes people feel great.
Depending on the company, you have the opportunity to develop some very good relationships. 1st thing in the morning, lunchtime, and end of day are good times for greetings with the chance for more communication. "Got any great weekend plans?" and then "How was the Girl Scout hike with your daughter?" Once you know that the Sr. VP of Widgets loves Monster Trucks, you send a very occasional link to an awesome photo or video. You can ask to see pics of any employee's new baby, and occasionally ask about anybody's kids. Don't be invasive; better to ask less than more. Also, once you know people, an occasional sincere compliment; "Nice tie today; got a big meeting?" "Did you get a haircut? You look well today." Again, keep it low-key and sincere. At one company I worked at, the current HR Director started as receptionist. She's well-qualified, but her schmoozing ability really moved her up, because it brought her to the attention of the people who make the decisions.
posted by theora55 at 8:23 AM on February 8, 2013
Depending on the company, you have the opportunity to develop some very good relationships. 1st thing in the morning, lunchtime, and end of day are good times for greetings with the chance for more communication. "Got any great weekend plans?" and then "How was the Girl Scout hike with your daughter?" Once you know that the Sr. VP of Widgets loves Monster Trucks, you send a very occasional link to an awesome photo or video. You can ask to see pics of any employee's new baby, and occasionally ask about anybody's kids. Don't be invasive; better to ask less than more. Also, once you know people, an occasional sincere compliment; "Nice tie today; got a big meeting?" "Did you get a haircut? You look well today." Again, keep it low-key and sincere. At one company I worked at, the current HR Director started as receptionist. She's well-qualified, but her schmoozing ability really moved her up, because it brought her to the attention of the people who make the decisions.
posted by theora55 at 8:23 AM on February 8, 2013
Just say "G'day" or your local equivalent, with eye contact and a friendly nod or smile. That gives them an opening if they want to talk, but means they can walk by if busy if they don't want to. If your back is turned you can just wave. If you miss them as you're in your own little world, a surprised "oh G'day" is fine. When in doubt you can do just the friendly nod and smile if they make eye contact and say nothing, I worked in an open plan office years ago and would have got nothing done if I'd greeted everyone that walked by, so saved it just for those that made eye contact.
posted by wwax at 10:14 AM on February 8, 2013
posted by wwax at 10:14 AM on February 8, 2013
If your back is turned toward them, I'd say you don't need to say anything at all. Just keep working.
posted by Jess the Mess at 10:46 AM on February 8, 2013
posted by Jess the Mess at 10:46 AM on February 8, 2013
I go with "Hello" instead of "Hi" and draw out the syllables.
posted by RainyJay at 12:07 PM on February 8, 2013
posted by RainyJay at 12:07 PM on February 8, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by greta simone at 7:09 PM on February 7, 2013 [1 favorite]