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February 6, 2013 7:40 AM Subscribe
I'd like dating advice that's more research-based (more details within)
I'm a male in my late twenties. I was in a 7-year relationship that ended a year ago, and since then, I've been dating pretty actively, and I'm good at the early stages - flirting, being charming, etc. But I feel like I'd like to go back to something more stable and long-term, and I find that I'm not very good at this. I'd like some advice websites that a) are research-based rather than opinion based and b) focus on long-term dating (or at least occasionally do so).
I'm a male in my late twenties. I was in a 7-year relationship that ended a year ago, and since then, I've been dating pretty actively, and I'm good at the early stages - flirting, being charming, etc. But I feel like I'd like to go back to something more stable and long-term, and I find that I'm not very good at this. I'd like some advice websites that a) are research-based rather than opinion based and b) focus on long-term dating (or at least occasionally do so).
Ok Cupid's blog uses the giant dataset from their online dating service to draw conclusions about people's behavior on the site. It's not long-term relationship focused but it does make for interesting reading.
Here's a blog post from Brain Pickings about a book called Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match. It sounds more like a personal story than an empirical study but I'll let you decide if it's helpful.
posted by musicismath at 8:40 AM on February 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
Here's a blog post from Brain Pickings about a book called Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match. It sounds more like a personal story than an empirical study but I'll let you decide if it's helpful.
posted by musicismath at 8:40 AM on February 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
Came in to also suggest the book "Data, A Love Story..." mentioned by musicismath above -- I heard about it in an interview with the author last night on the APM MarketPlace podcast if you want to hear a bit about it first....
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 10:45 AM on February 6, 2013
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 10:45 AM on February 6, 2013
I read Intimate Connections recently and found some useful advice but the last half was pretty much sexist dreck. Read skeptically.
John Gottman has done a ton of research on what makes long-term relationships work, although his writing is generally targeted to currently-partnered people.
posted by momus_window at 2:48 PM on February 6, 2013
John Gottman has done a ton of research on what makes long-term relationships work, although his writing is generally targeted to currently-partnered people.
posted by momus_window at 2:48 PM on February 6, 2013
The Gottman Institute, Dr. Helen Fisher... I could MeMail you some articles, as I manage a publication that frequently features science-based articles and book excerpts from psychotherapists, neuroscientists, etc. Authors who do fMRI studies on love, social biologists who explain common mating habits (like isopraxism amongst various species), how external stimuli (the color red, the scent of red wine on a woman's breath) affect the brain's neurotransmitters and hormone production etc.; is that the stuff you're looking for? There's not just ONE site that probably would work for you.
I read a lot of scientific studies and you can find data-based trends and behaviors culled from U.S. Census data (if that's your thing) on the Pew Research Center's site by searching for "marriage," "dating," and "singles" - but it's a limited resource, admittedly.
Data, A Love Story's just okay - it's more hype than meat. If that's what you're looking for, I'd suggest Love in the Time of Algorithms.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 2:58 AM on February 9, 2013
I read a lot of scientific studies and you can find data-based trends and behaviors culled from U.S. Census data (if that's your thing) on the Pew Research Center's site by searching for "marriage," "dating," and "singles" - but it's a limited resource, admittedly.
Data, A Love Story's just okay - it's more hype than meat. If that's what you're looking for, I'd suggest Love in the Time of Algorithms.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 2:58 AM on February 9, 2013
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posted by showbiz_liz at 7:45 AM on February 6, 2013