Help me find this George Carlin quote about prayer?
January 30, 2013 5:10 PM   Subscribe

Where can I find the George Carlin quote, "Before every football game, both teams pray they'll win. One team always loses."

I'm trying to find a video clip of a quote from George Carlin.

"Before every football game, both teams pray they'll win. One team always loses."

Or something like that. I'm pretty sure George Carlin said it, and I feel like he maybe said it on Real Time with Bill Maher.

Does anyone have a source on this? I'm looking for a video clip, or at least the show title and air date.

posted by incandescentman to Religion & Philosophy (4 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
This is just a guess but that really sounds like something that Bill Maher himself would say. I couldn't find anything like that exact quote but some related ones.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:40 PM on January 30, 2013

Best I could remember was this, which is wordier but similar sentiment:

And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say "Jesus made me drop the ball." "The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage." According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. Must be another one of those "miracles."

- Free-Floating Hostility
posted by gatorae at 8:23 PM on January 30, 2013

According to the book Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-up in the 1970s Changed America, Albert Brooks had a routine on A Star is Bought has the mini-rant, in the fictional context of the album a parody of patriotism aimed at a country-music audience:

Where has it all led? To hamburgers, french fries, and a malted? To go, my country? Why can't we eat it here? There was a time when Mother's Day was a whole week in July. What happened, gals? America can put a man on the moon, but we still forget our trash day.... Today, we have golden arches, but our feet still hurt. We play "The Star-Spangled Banner" at ballgames, but still one team always loses. We check into hotels, but hotels won't take our checks. Well they won't take mine! Angry? You bet I'm angry!


I have a hunch this is what you're looking for because none of these guys would steal a bit like that from each other.
posted by dhartung at 10:56 PM on January 30, 2013

The very best site to look for any quote is

It's fabulous! THanks to your question I've been laughing my butt off reading George Carlin's quotes. THat guys a genius!
posted by msleann at 7:02 PM on January 31, 2013 [1 favorite]

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