How to view pending friend requests from others on facebook
December 21, 2012 1:18 PM   Subscribe

Ever since I've had a facebook account, I've had it set so that nobody can add me as a friend; I must add them first. Recently, I added a friend of mine, and I didn't receive a confirmation that he accepted; I could simply see his wall and stuff an hour or so after I added him. When we hung out next, he said, "So, you finally added me on facebook." He'd apparently added me two years ago and to him, I'd never confirmed, but I'd never even received notification of his request. I've had my fb account for years; certainly there must be other people I've inadvertently offended in this way. How can I view pending incoming friend requests, when I've never received notifications for them?
posted by homodachi to Technology (8 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
This link should take you to your pending friend requests.
posted by brainmouse at 1:23 PM on December 21, 2012 [3 favorites]

Considering how people use facebook, I would recommend that you change your settings so that other people may add you as a friend. This doesn't mean that you have to accept their friend requests, of course, but it will improve how your online etiquette is perceived.
posted by aaanastasia at 1:35 PM on December 21, 2012 [5 favorites]

This link should work.

I think at a certain point it is reasonable to expect that not everybody uses Facebook, and that not everybody gets notifications. If your friend had wanted to connect on Facebook so badly, he could have picked up the phone or asked you in person. The fact that people have high expectations about electronic communications shouldn't be your problem, and if you have to change your comfort zone regarding online privacy to accommodate needy folks, it will become a problem.

So I wouldn't worry about it too much.
posted by KokuRyu at 1:41 PM on December 21, 2012 [3 favorites]

This is a workaround, but you could change your settings so no one can find you by searching or see your Facebook account at all. Then, people who you don't add will just assume you don't have an account (rather than thinking you are not friending them back). You can still add people, and once you add them, they can interact with you normally.

Caveat: This was possible a couple years ago, given how often Facebook changes its settings, I don't know if it's still possible.
posted by insectosaurus at 1:42 PM on December 21, 2012

Thanks for the links, all. I don't have any pending requests listed, so I feel (cautiously) okay.

I think (hope) it may have been a weird glitch in a phone app that allowed him to add me at all; I've had other people resort to "poking" me to add them, because they were unable to add me.

(I also opened myself up for friends requests, since nobody uses facebook anymore anyway ;)
posted by homodachi at 1:49 PM on December 21, 2012

This is a workaround, but you could change your settings so no one can find you by searching or see your Facebook account at all.

Nope, can't do that anymore.
posted by mykescipark at 2:37 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

You can open it up so people can send you requests. You still have to accept for them to be on your list.
posted by eq21 at 2:48 PM on December 21, 2012

Wow, I had 9 pending friend requests that I don't remember ever seeing. Didn't know a single one of them either so I deleted all 9.
posted by COD at 4:04 PM on December 21, 2012 [1 favorite]

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