Help me have sex without my wrist hurting!
December 14, 2012 3:19 PM   Subscribe

What can I do to prevent my wrist from hurting when I'm stimulating myself during sex?

Personal details: I'm a chick, 30's, my partner and I live together and have sex usually once a day.

This seems to happen a lot to me and it makes it hard for me to come because the discomfort kind of takes over and I lose my flow.... its especially frustrating if it happens when I'm a few minutes from coming.... and I'd kind of like the ability to get myself to come little faster during sex...

Stuff I've tried:

Different positions- they don't seem to help, once it feels achy, it keeps feeling achy.

Putting a pillow under my arm to support it- helps a little, but having to stay in the exact same position makes it difficult to just enjoy things as a couple.

Taking breaks- I lose my flow, and it can make sex last longer than I have time sometimes...

posted by misspony to Human Relations (16 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Are you just using your hand? If yes, then try a vibrator maybe?
posted by greta simone at 3:23 PM on December 14, 2012 [3 favorites]

Vibrator! I thought using a vibrator during sex with my partner would be weird but when we tried it, it was just fine. Sexy, even.
posted by not that girl at 3:32 PM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yep, vibrator. Don't keep using your hand if your wrist hurts!
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:34 PM on December 14, 2012

Vibrator. Do not wreck your wrist - you could get a repetitive motion injury.
posted by quince at 3:38 PM on December 14, 2012

Supermax deadlift holds for time. Reverse Poundstone curls. Sledgehammer levering.

Some things are worth training for.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 4:23 PM on December 14, 2012 [4 favorites]

They sell this "warming massage oil" that heavily stimulates the area and makes it very easy to come.
posted by DoubleLune at 4:42 PM on December 14, 2012

Don't under any circumstances start weight training until you've had the wrist pain evaluated! There are a number of issues (carpal tunnel, for example) that this could be signaling.
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:44 PM on December 14, 2012 [4 favorites]

Switch hands?
posted by zippy at 4:50 PM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

Re: 'warming lube' be careful because that shit can buuuurn. YMMV
posted by greta simone at 4:51 PM on December 14, 2012 [1 favorite]

doggy style?
posted by Jacen at 6:42 PM on December 14, 2012

Wrist brace? Keeping your wrist perfectly straight might help, but trying to do so with only willpower might be distracting.
posted by windykites at 7:48 PM on December 14, 2012

Vibrator. You can get small little egg shaped ones that tuck in there without getting in the way of your partner.
posted by wwax at 9:25 PM on December 14, 2012

For manual stimulation: I'm assuming that you either do little circles, or a basic up-and-down motion. Relax your hand and wrist, and let your elbow and shoulder provide the motion. You basically want to drag your finger over your clit, instead of wiggling your finger. It may make you a little bit slower at first, but I find that kind of motion much more sustainable.

I second the vibrator recommendation, though, especially if you've never tried one during sex.
posted by catalytics at 4:27 AM on December 15, 2012

Have you talked to a doctor about these wrist troubles? You probably don't have to mention the specific occasions on which you're experiencing them if that'll embarrass you, but this sounds worth getting checked out.

There are some good ideas here for alternative stimulation, but I don't think we have enough information here to tell you how to not make your wrist hurt. Wrist pain could be anything from carpal tunnel trouble to something in the shoulders/upper back.

(I have ongoing carpal tunnel issues, thanks to a crappy workplace a decade ago. They have caused me issues in similar circumstances. Dealing with the issue itself rather than the symptom made a world of difference.)
posted by Someone Else's Story at 1:00 PM on December 15, 2012

Definitely a vibrator. And make sure you buy a couple battery packs (or charger) for the type your toy takes. Running out of battery charge right as you peak and then realizing you don't have any more in your dresser drawer is a serious drag.
posted by DisreputableDog at 9:02 PM on December 15, 2012

Best answer: Yeah, a small bullet vibe (like one of these) is a crazy common thing for women to use. The particular model linked is like, three inches long and a good solid buzz. This is a well made rechargeable take on the same style of toy. I sell vibrators for a living and that small style is without a doubt one of the most popular options for folk looking for a small toy for use during sex.

The warming lube something like this for examplementioned up thread may help. Make sure it's actually a lubricant, though, as warming oils are notorious for having extra crap in them that can upset your ph.

You can also try an accelerator gel, something like this or this one. They increase blood flow and nerve sensitivity and means that while you'll be using the same motions, you won't need to be at it for as long.

If you're worried about having an allergic reaction to it, rub a small amount on the inside of your lip. The mucosa inside your mouth is the same, more or less, as the mucosa in the genital area, so you can check without having to worry about burning your heinie. They're all edible anyway, and if you do find it's a bit too hot swill some milk round your mouth and that will help cool it back down.

As for more practical, less consumer driven options, I'd look at what your mousing setup is like on your pc. If you're using your dominant hand for both activities, you may well already be pretty strained in the wrist long before you get to the bedroom. A comfortable mouse at a good level (I find roughly the height my elbow is at when my arm is at rest at my side is about comfortable).

Why not get your partner into the mix too? Get them to start you off and take over towards the end.
posted by Jilder at 1:02 AM on December 16, 2012

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