"Tacky" Sweater Party
December 7, 2012 11:39 AM   Subscribe

I'm going to a "Tacky" Christmas sweater party (yes this is still a thing). Anyways, I'm wearing the same sweater I wear every year, but I want to make actually, literally "tacky". (as in sticky, like tape). Assume looking weird is ok. What should I use that's easily available that can go to a cheap sweater?
posted by sandmanwv to Society & Culture (18 answers total)
Cover a sweater in two-sided tape?
posted by etc. at 11:41 AM on December 7, 2012

Spray adhesive. Can be found at an art supply store. Do not use indoors! Will ruin your sweater, though.
posted by Specklet at 11:41 AM on December 7, 2012

Spray adhesive maybe? I don't know how long it will stay tacky.
posted by Fairchild at 11:42 AM on December 7, 2012

you could also just attach a big picture of a tack (the kind that you put in to a wall to hold up a poster) to the front of a shirt, and then act all confused, mumbling "I didn't understand the assignment..."
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 11:43 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]

If you want to get all outside-the-box, you fasten some saltines (or similar) to your sweater and tell them it's "hard tack, also known as seabiscuit."
posted by etc. at 11:47 AM on December 7, 2012

You could also try adorning it with pictures of different cheeses....

"I couldn't find a new tacky sweater this year, so I went with 'cheesy' instead"
posted by argonauta at 11:51 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

Double sided tape wrapped mummy style but with large gaps so the pattern on the sweater can be seen.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:52 AM on December 7, 2012

I fully endorse your loose interpretation of tacky, but I think PuppetMcSockerson is onto the right track here, more so than the sticky route.

Firstly, spray adhesive will dry pretty quickly; by the time you've downed your first drink, you will instead be wearing a starchy Christmas sweater. Secondly, even if you were to locate a spray-on substance that would remain sticky throughout the festivities, it wouldn't be visibly obvious. You'd have to tell people that it's sticky and they'd have to feel for themselves. An explained joke is a bad joke. Thirdly, I'd endorse the double-sided tape route, but does it come in transparent varieties? If not, you'd just look like you were wearing tape; the "sweater" portion of the joke would be lost. Fourthly, "sticky" is a direct synonym of "tacky," so that's funny. But "tacky" as in "full of tacks" makes sense while also being a word that no one to my knowledge has ever used. What I'm saying is, you need to embed thumbtacks into your sweater.

Now, this is obviously fraught with danger. How to attach them without poking holes in your abdomen when you belly up to the bar? The answer may be thick cardboard between your person and the sweater. Tack through from the outside. The tacks and cardboard will keep each other in place in a beautiful moment of symbiosis.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 11:58 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

Wrap yourself in the stuff that lint rollers are made of. It may take a few rollers to get you wrapped, though.
posted by inturnaround at 12:05 PM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think for various logistical and practical reasons, a literally tacky/sticky sweater is going to not work well and be super damn unpleasant to deal with.

Why not just try something like Katamari Damacy instead, with random stuff attached to the sweater?
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:13 PM on December 7, 2012

Well, if you're going Terminal Velocity's route, why not buy a couple of small cork boards and wear them, sandwich board-style, front and back? Use thumbtacks to attach small paper cutout sweaters (or pictures from catalogs) to them.

Tacky, tacky, tacky.
posted by MonkeyToes at 12:15 PM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]

Another route would be to attach a giant hair, a giant paperclip, a giant button, a giant raisin, etc, to your sweater, to make it look like you're the bottom of a sticker or piece of tape that picked up schmutz from the kitchen floor. You could even sew something that looks like a giant piece of masking tape or a perforated stamp directly to the sweater, and attach the junk to that.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:16 PM on December 7, 2012

Apply a thin coat of rubber cement. It's somewhat sticky even when dry.
posted by sock puppy at 12:31 PM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]

I am kind of grossed out at the idea of walking around covered in sticky dirt-attracting substances, myself, for a whole evening.

If you just want to stick to stuff, put Velcro on the sleeves and walk around attaching yourself to everyone else's sweaters.
posted by emjaybee at 1:05 PM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

Photo-mount spray adhesive remains tacky for repositioning. Also post-it spray works the same way. I like the idea. You should stick a few unobtrusive things to the sweater though, a bus ticket or a cash register receipt etc.
posted by Iteki at 2:47 PM on December 7, 2012

I agree that the thumbtacks angle might be more fun, but if you did still want to go with a sticky sweater you could wrap yourself in coban. Heck, with big enough needles and some patience, you could probably knit yourself a sweater out of the stuff, though you'd definitely want to wear a t-shirt or something underneath.
posted by vytae at 3:20 PM on December 7, 2012

If you're going with TV's idea, maybe get a bunch of little pencil erasers (I don't know if you can get them in bulk except actually on the end of pencils, mind, although you can usually pull 'em off) and use them as backing pads for the thumbtacks.

(this trick also works for lapel pins if you've lost their backplates)
posted by jackbishop at 4:23 PM on December 7, 2012

I've worn a shirt covered in spray adhesive before, and don't recommend it at all. It smells bad, doesn't seem to stick that well when sprayed onto fabric (although it does stick to ITSELF, which gets really annoying), and you end up covered in all sorts of lint, dust and hair.
posted by caaaaaam at 10:44 AM on December 8, 2012

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