Moving my family for a job...Worth it? Can it be done? How hard is it?
July 26, 2012 4:53 PM   Subscribe

New Job..New City...Should i move my family? Advice & Suggestions Please.

So, been trying to find a new career cause i was burnt out with IT work...Blah Blah Blah...Long story short, im going to stay in IT and got offered a new Job making the same amount of money i make now but in a new city, Austin, Tx. I currently live in Dallas, Tx...Have a wife and two small kiddos...10 & 6, and own a home. The new company wont pay for me to move but it seems like a great opportunity, plus personally i think Austin is a better town, specifically Pflugerville. If i take the job i will be Monday - Friday in A-town and come home Friday night through Monday morning in D-Town until my house sells, leaving the wife and kids in Dallas until the home sells. We've lived in Dallas our entire lives. My wife is a nurse so i dont think she would have a problem finding a job. Ive never done a move like this and im scared, excited, nervous, etc. Advice, Opinions, etc....Please.
posted by flipmiester99 to Work & Money (16 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
What does your wife think?
posted by saradarlin at 4:54 PM on July 26, 2012

Shes kinda on the fence and scared (What happens if the job doesnt turn out well, i get tired of it, fired, leaving a stable environment, etc) I will say this, this is my idea to move not hers. She just wants me to be happy.
posted by flipmiester99 at 4:58 PM on July 26, 2012

What does your wife think?

You need to compare house prices, schools in said housing areas, cost of living, company stability and job opportunities for your wife. How unhappy are you now?

Can you articulate what you are scared and nervous about?
posted by DarlingBri at 4:59 PM on July 26, 2012

Can you rent your home in Dallas? That way, if things don't work out, you can always reclaim your home and return to D-town.
posted by zagyzebra at 5:20 PM on July 26, 2012

Scared if it didnt work out....Scared if the house didnt sell within 3 or so months....Toll on the marriage(being away during the week leaving her to do everything). I have compared the cost of living and from what i can find it -8.6 less than Dallas, which is good. Schools are good, the job is very stable been around for 15 years and a good friend is one of the higher ups there. House prices seem to be about on par with our current neighborhood. It would also cost me about $300 a month to rent a room.
posted by flipmiester99 at 5:26 PM on July 26, 2012

Good jobs that value you will help you move. Look for one of those. In the meantime spend some weekends in Austin maybe, let your wife fall in love with it too. Stability isn't that easy to find these days, I would not so quick to throw it away either.
posted by bleep at 5:42 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's going to be hard to get your kids to understand why you won't be around during the week, and even harder for your wife to single parent during this time. I would either go all in off wait for another offer.
posted by snickerdoodle at 5:46 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I moved from near downtown Dallas to really near downtown Austin for a new job opportunity 12 years ago..never regretted it once. The main reason I much prefer Austin to Dallas is the more laid back lifestyle--I hated how everyone was always so "put together" in made me feel like a huge shlub traipsing around town in my ratty jeans without makeup. My "look" is much more common in Austin. The second reason I love it more is the outdoor green spaces. They are everywhere.

The only cons i have found are the slightly higher humidity levels and the fact that it is hard to find direct flights everywhere. Because American Airlines has a hub in Dallas, direct flights were much more common--the downside being that you have to fly American Airlines.

All that said, I can say that I have been in Pfugerville all of zero times in the past 12 years and don't really consider it Austin per se. I am not trying to sound snooty about it, but it is a much different environment than closer to downtown--more of an outer suburb. Do you currently live in an outer suburb of Dallas like Plano or Addison? If so, the change might not seem so big. But if you live inside NW Highway in Dallas and move to a suburb like Pfugerville, it might seem like moving to the country. However, I would imagine the the housing costs in Pfugerville are much cheaper than Austin.
posted by murrey at 5:50 PM on July 26, 2012

I think you should stay and find a more solid opportunity. You shouldn't uproot your kids from Austin to New Jersey. Thought I'd you were going from New Jersey to Austin, I'd think it would be worth it.
posted by discopolo at 5:51 PM on July 26, 2012

Also, I'd the company doesn't pay for relocation, that's sort of sketchy, like they aren't committed to keeping you.
posted by discopolo at 5:52 PM on July 26, 2012

Oh frick. You said Dallas, I'm so sorry.
posted by discopolo at 5:53 PM on July 26, 2012

Good jobs that value you will help you move.

This is really not universally true, in my opinion, but maybe I'm biased because I work in recruiting and see this quite often, especially in the past few years.

My question to the OP would be, what is the benefit of this new job? Same pay, no relo, having to unload a house, not being with your family versus stability, liking the area better, knowing someone high up, and lower cost of living? Your posting history indicates that you wanted to completely change careers, would you be happy continuing this work? I think, as much as your finances, these are also things that you should consider as they too will affect your family and personal well being.
posted by sm1tten at 5:56 PM on July 26, 2012

You mentioned that you've lived in Dallas your entire lives. If that means that you, your wife and kids are accustomed to seeing the extended family every week, then a move is a much bigger deal. I know people who've never left their children with a sitter who was not a family member. Losing that family support network may have a huge impact. That doesn't mean you don't go to Austin - it just means you need to prepare your family a little bit.

Austin to Dallas is a completely manageable drive - even with kids - for a weekend. And Southwest makes that flight pretty cheap if you don't want to drive it every weekend.

Having moved across country a few times, I say go for it. It's not like they are going to roll up Dallas when you leave. If Austin turns out to be a bad fit for your family, then move back to Dallas.
posted by 26.2 at 6:08 PM on July 26, 2012

My question to the OP would be, what is the benefit of this new job?

1) It provides the opportunity to live in Austin over Dallas. +1000 2) It's an opportunity for the OP (and his family) to not live in the same place for their entire lives.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:08 PM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Will the change of scenery alleviate the OP's severe career burnout? This is really what I'm asking when I refer to benefit.

Another thing I forgot to ask is whether there are other negotiatbles in the offer, like a sign-on, which might mitigate some of the concern about whether the house sells.
posted by sm1tten at 6:55 AM on July 27, 2012

My opinion is that either EVERYONE is on-board and your whole family is going balls-to-the-wall for this, or you stay in Dallas.

I'd move to Austin from Dallas in a heartbeat, but it ain't me.

My recommendation is to have a realtor come and appraise your house. You may get some cash out of it, or you may discover that you'll have to pay to unload it. If so, don't move.

If you can get some cash out of your house, put it away or put it towards the move. Rent when you get to Austin for at least a year. I wish we had done this when we moved to Nashville, as we only stayed for 18 months.

Moving with kids is always more of a deal than moving as adults. Also, you have a serious family network back in Dallas, that's nothing to sneeze at.

Me? I'm an adventurer, I love moving, so I'd be all over Austin. (Plus my family now lives in Dallas and I think it's as dull as paint.) You have to take everyone into consideration. If you do the math with the house, and the family is on-board, I say go for it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:10 AM on July 27, 2012

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