Ideas of details to keep fun and romance in a marriage
May 29, 2012 6:35 PM   Subscribe

Can you give me ideas of romantic/funny things a wife can do for her husband, besides making his favorite dishes or dressing up for bed, which I already do? If you have other cooking/dressing up ideas, they are also welcome, though!

I would like to hear some ideas that range from funny to yummy to sexy, that I can do to cheer up my husband any day without too much preparation. For example,

• I like to hide with the cat around the house when he gets home from work. He usually has a good time trying to find us
• Once in a while I wear something like this to bed
• I made him a small croquembouche since he loves profiteroles so much

I love how much he enjoys all of these things, but now I’m running out of ideas! What are your special tactics to keep things fun?
posted by Tarumba to Grab Bag (16 answers total) 44 users marked this as a favorite
Know what he likes, and give it to him. I don't mean objects necessarily, but for example my husband sometimes wants some alone time to game or zone, so I'll buy/make him some treats, announce he is officially on "him time", and go out for the evening. This is particularly nice if he's a gamer and you buy him a new game and give it to him with the treats etc.
Then again, my husband gets all sappy if I make him a sandwich when he isn't expecting one, so I kind of have it easy.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 6:54 PM on May 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

My husband's birthday happens to fall on dates of regular meteor showers, however, this is irrelevant to the act itself.

I took my husband out into the desert, as a surprise, more than once, to see a meteor shower on his birthday. I told him I was giving him the moon and the stars. Totally romantic!

- The Transit of Venus is on June 5th, a daytime event. There are meteor showers coming up in the Northern Hemisphere. Some geeky guy at our local park is going to set up a solar telescope for the Transit of Venus, but for night-time meteors, all you need are an absence of light interference (google best spots) I had a motel 45 minutes away from the best spot, plus nibbles and hot chocolate available, for our first time. Second time we camped out nearby the optimal viewing place, a great steak and veg for the grill - all that.

Give your guy the Moon and The Stars!

It never gets old, and it's a great tradition to start! Our son is 14 months old, I can't wait until he can understand meteor showers and how cool viewing the Milky Way is.

posted by jbenben at 6:59 PM on May 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

My go-to moves:

- Notes in his lunch! Not always sappy ones. Sometimes jokes or stupid little poems and such to make him smile and laugh. Also; can substitute bathroom mirror notes for lunch bag notes.
- Every so often: after-work foot or back rubs
- Occasionally in the winter I'll scrape his truck down and get it heated up so he doesn't have to

That's all I got. Hope some of them sound like they'd work for you!
posted by Syllables at 7:00 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I send my husband postcards or cards in the mail with love notes. It's a nice surprise for him in the middle of the bills.
posted by questionsandanchors at 7:18 PM on May 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: :) Thank you all! I forgot to say...I would also love to hear from the male point of view...what does your guy/girl do that you love?
posted by Tarumba at 7:38 PM on May 29, 2012

Let him know when he is at work that your wearing sexy underwear or none at all.

Hide notes around the house

Do one of his chores once in a while

Sidewalk chalk love note

Rent a dirty movie / sexy and watch it together. Act it out.

Be aggressive or submissive in bed depending on his fantasy
posted by bleucube at 8:00 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Make fortune cookies from scratch and write fortunes to go in them - some funny, some sexy.
posted by lakeroon at 8:05 PM on May 29, 2012

Foot massages. Scalp massages. Hot water bottle on his side of the bed to warm it up before he gets in (in winter). Heart-shaped pancakes. Be interested in something he likes to talk about and learn enough about it that you can have a high-level conversation about it.
posted by lakeroon at 8:15 PM on May 29, 2012

Buy a book on massage. Practice on each other. Oil: Fun but optional. Toss a spare sheet over the bed if you are going to use oil so it can be tossed in the wash. Tip: Pour oil into your hand to warm it first. Pouring cold oil on someone is not fun and not romantic (more like "cold shower").

(My ex married me in part for daily massages. Not kidding.)
posted by Michele in California at 8:39 PM on May 29, 2012

I would also love to hear from the male point of view...what does your guy/girl do that you love?

She dresses for me. I don't mean all elaborate or hoochy (though those can be fun once in a while), but she knows what I like and uses it deliberately. When we meet up for a drink and she's wearing that skirt, it's like she's given me a kiss before we've even touched.

A shoulder rub at the end of a long day is not just nice for the way it feels, but it's also a wonderful way to tell the person that you know how hard they worked and how much you appreciate it.

I love how many ways she tells me that our sex life is good for her. She might be lying through her teeth, I don't care, it makes me feel great. Saying something nice right after sex is ok, but things like whispering "I can still feel it!" at a fancy dinner or sending a coy text in the middle of the work day are great.
posted by Forktine at 8:40 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

When I'm up first and our house is cold, I'll stick a pair of his socks under the covers next to him to warm up.

We have a note that just says "I love you!" that we've been taking turns hiding for years. Anything from sticking it in shoes or pockets or in the other's car or magazine pile, or whatever.
posted by Occula at 8:48 PM on May 29, 2012

French maid outfit to do the housework. (This will not result in housework being done.)
posted by essexjan at 11:51 PM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

When i want to do something special for my partner I usually do one of the following things:

1) I think back to one of our best times and reproduce elements of it. For example, for our anniversary I will be wearing the dress I wore the first time we kissed (which is getting pretty tattered so I have tucked it away to save it for special occasions/nights), and I'm going to make the dessert that we had that night too. The goal isn't to have a do-over and have it match letter for letter. It really is just about remembering and appreciating the best times.

2) Even though we work together and see each other all day, I will send him texts all day, starting with just friendly fun ones in the morning, moving to more lovey intimate ones in the afternoon, and building up to really suggestive (ie. raunchy) ones in the afternoon. He LOVES when I do this and it almost always results in a pretty fun evening, ifyouknowwhatimsayin, wink wink. I often do this the day that my lady garden is back in service following lady time, or following times where we haven't had sex for a couple days for whatever reason.

3) I do one of his chores sneakily. For example, when he is in the shower I'll bustle in and unload and load the dishwasher and wipe down the kitchen really quickly, and then act like nothing has happened when he comes out.

4) On an ordinary weekday work day, I take a little extra time and do my hair the way I know he loves it, and do my make up the way I know he loves it. Nothing ridiculous or elaborate, and I don't actually look all that different from how I usually do. Instead of doing my usually quick sweep of eyeliner and mascara I'll actually do the whole foundation/highligher/blush/eyeshadow/eyeliner/mascara/etc routine to make myself look a little more polished. Subtle difference that he always notices but everyone else may not pick upon. And instead of letting my hair dry curly I'll take the time to flat iron it really carefully so that it is really sleek and shiny. Small things but they always make him wink at me all day.

5) We send random emails/texts to one another with just the words "I love you like ___________", filling in the blank with random things. Usually it is stuff like an octopus, an ear of corn, a hurricane, "Chen Kenichi loves his cleaver", a stack of wood. I actually don't remember how it started, but we do it really consistenly. We finish most exhanges this way. For example, I always text him when I leave the gym so he knows about when to expect me home, and it always reads something like. "Leaving gym now, I love you like an orangutan".
posted by gwenlister at 4:56 AM on May 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

I might not be your target audience - my wife and I have five kids and I work days while she works nights on the weekends... But here's mine.

I would love to get home from work one night and have her say "I'm making the kids dinner, doing the dishes, and putting them in bed tonight. Do whatever you want for the next five hours. You're a bachelor!"

Most nights I get home from work and have a list of things to do. Having true free time would be fantastic.
posted by tacodave at 3:04 PM on May 30, 2012

How would he react if you bought him flowers?
posted by thatdawnperson at 9:19 AM on June 2, 2012

Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I will mark this resolved, I got really good suggestions.
posted by Tarumba at 2:20 PM on June 29, 2012

« Older If I want a drink made in the "classic" way rather...   |   Neglected trees on vacant property are growing out... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.