Can nomads find love too?
May 29, 2012 8:04 AM Subscribe
How do I know if someone I'm dating is worth sticking around for?
I'm 24, female, graduated college last year and moved 1000 miles away to take a temporary (year long) job last fall, which will end in late August of this year. I miss living close to my family and would like to move to city closer to home, but have also built up a network of friends here and wouldn't mind sticking around for another year or two at least if not longer. However, the job market in this city is pretty terrible, and while I could continue to work part time for my current employer it wouldn't cover the bills and it would be hard to find a full time job in this city.
I'm starting to apply to jobs and so I need to make this decision. So far I've been applying mostly to jobs in this region just because there are more jobs in the field I'm interested in out here, but also applying back where my family lives and in other parts of the US. The field that I'm in has a lot of short term positions, full time permanent positions are like gold and I'm fine with taking something temporary (usually seasonal positions.)
The other complication, and the one I need help thinking about from y'all is that I started dating a guy in January of this year. It isn't particularly serious, we heaven't even talked about being exclusive although I'm not seeing anyone else and I doubt that he is either (took dating profile down, and just doesn't seem like he probably is. But I don't know for sure). I didn't actually expect this to last this long as we've got pretty different worldviews and life goals in a lot of ways so I don't see myself staying with this guy forever but on the other hand, I've recently been feeling pretty attached to him and the idea of leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad. I feel silly thinking about planning my life around a guy I've only known for 4 months who I'm not technically in a relationship and who is probably incompatible with me at some pretty deep levels. On the other hand, my dating experiences have historically been pretty terrible and it's nice to have this thing happening with a really decent sweet guy who I really like being around.
So my options are:
A.) Get another temporary position lasting 3 mos-1 year in the region, see how things go with this guy semi-long distance (hour-ish drive). Good on the job front, decent on the guy front, bad on the family front.
B.) Cobble together a couple part time jobs in my current city, one in my field and one most likely starbucks or something, stay in my current city and living situation (which I really like), enjoy living around friends and see how things go with guy. Bad on the family front, good on the guy front, bad on the job front, good on the friend front.
C.) Move back to home region, forget the guy. There is not really any guarantee that I'll get a job at home, though. Good on the family front, bad on the guy front, ?? on the job front :/.
D.) Apply to jobs regardless of location and get a job far away from family region and current location. This is probably the best career move but I'm not sure I'm ready to build my social network up from the ground yet again.
Obviously I'm going to have to talk with him about this at some point and see if we're even close to on the same page about things-- for all I know he is going to dump me tomorrow, or is enjoying things as far as they go but is planning on them ending in August. He knows that the job will be ending and knows I move around a lot and don't know what I'm doing so I'm not totally springing this on him or anything. I don't know if there's a way to approach this without having a pretty intense talk about The Future and How Much Do You Like Me, Where Do You Think We'll Be In Four Months?, when I'd otherwise be just as happy to let things move slowly and see where things went.
So anyway, to some extent this will ultimately be decided by what jobs I get but I'm trying to focus this job search regionally a little more and I still would like any thoughts on how to navigate the dating piece of this puzzle. Is it silly to be factoring him into this decision at this stage? Is there a way I can talk to him about it in a low-pressure way?
tl;dr: I moved 1000 miles away from my family for a temporary job, the job is ending at the end of the summer and I'm torn between moving closer to my family or seeing things out with a guy I've been seeing for the last 4 months.
I'm 24, female, graduated college last year and moved 1000 miles away to take a temporary (year long) job last fall, which will end in late August of this year. I miss living close to my family and would like to move to city closer to home, but have also built up a network of friends here and wouldn't mind sticking around for another year or two at least if not longer. However, the job market in this city is pretty terrible, and while I could continue to work part time for my current employer it wouldn't cover the bills and it would be hard to find a full time job in this city.
I'm starting to apply to jobs and so I need to make this decision. So far I've been applying mostly to jobs in this region just because there are more jobs in the field I'm interested in out here, but also applying back where my family lives and in other parts of the US. The field that I'm in has a lot of short term positions, full time permanent positions are like gold and I'm fine with taking something temporary (usually seasonal positions.)
The other complication, and the one I need help thinking about from y'all is that I started dating a guy in January of this year. It isn't particularly serious, we heaven't even talked about being exclusive although I'm not seeing anyone else and I doubt that he is either (took dating profile down, and just doesn't seem like he probably is. But I don't know for sure). I didn't actually expect this to last this long as we've got pretty different worldviews and life goals in a lot of ways so I don't see myself staying with this guy forever but on the other hand, I've recently been feeling pretty attached to him and the idea of leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad. I feel silly thinking about planning my life around a guy I've only known for 4 months who I'm not technically in a relationship and who is probably incompatible with me at some pretty deep levels. On the other hand, my dating experiences have historically been pretty terrible and it's nice to have this thing happening with a really decent sweet guy who I really like being around.
So my options are:
A.) Get another temporary position lasting 3 mos-1 year in the region, see how things go with this guy semi-long distance (hour-ish drive). Good on the job front, decent on the guy front, bad on the family front.
B.) Cobble together a couple part time jobs in my current city, one in my field and one most likely starbucks or something, stay in my current city and living situation (which I really like), enjoy living around friends and see how things go with guy. Bad on the family front, good on the guy front, bad on the job front, good on the friend front.
C.) Move back to home region, forget the guy. There is not really any guarantee that I'll get a job at home, though. Good on the family front, bad on the guy front, ?? on the job front :/.
D.) Apply to jobs regardless of location and get a job far away from family region and current location. This is probably the best career move but I'm not sure I'm ready to build my social network up from the ground yet again.
Obviously I'm going to have to talk with him about this at some point and see if we're even close to on the same page about things-- for all I know he is going to dump me tomorrow, or is enjoying things as far as they go but is planning on them ending in August. He knows that the job will be ending and knows I move around a lot and don't know what I'm doing so I'm not totally springing this on him or anything. I don't know if there's a way to approach this without having a pretty intense talk about The Future and How Much Do You Like Me, Where Do You Think We'll Be In Four Months?, when I'd otherwise be just as happy to let things move slowly and see where things went.
So anyway, to some extent this will ultimately be decided by what jobs I get but I'm trying to focus this job search regionally a little more and I still would like any thoughts on how to navigate the dating piece of this puzzle. Is it silly to be factoring him into this decision at this stage? Is there a way I can talk to him about it in a low-pressure way?
tl;dr: I moved 1000 miles away from my family for a temporary job, the job is ending at the end of the summer and I'm torn between moving closer to my family or seeing things out with a guy I've been seeing for the last 4 months.
How do I know if someone I'm dating is worth sticking around for?
The plain facts are that you don't.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:20 AM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
The plain facts are that you don't.
posted by Ironmouth at 8:20 AM on May 29, 2012 [1 favorite]
What I've learned is that so many of life's decisions can be changed if it doesn't work out for you. You cannot erase the experiences, but if the option you decide on doesn't make you happy, well, then you can change that by moving to a new place, getting a new job, etc...
It's hard to do this, but you should be doing what makes you happy. It's hard to figure out which option of the four would be better for YOU, but personally-I would choose option D. I would need that financial security because I am currently working part-time (full time hours if I am lucky) and it's a pain trying to scramble for more hours and live life paycheck to paycheck.
Options A, B, and C aren't going to give you that sense of financial security which is why you should consider ruling them out. You're at the age where you need to be taking care of yourself financially since you are able to do so. If you moved back to where your parents live, then you might fall into the trap of having them take care of your finances which wouldn't be great for you or your family dynamics.
Option D might mean being far away from your family and this particular guy, but there are other ways to stay close to someone despite physical distance (assuming that it's worth the distance).
posted by livinglearning at 8:21 AM on May 29, 2012
It's hard to do this, but you should be doing what makes you happy. It's hard to figure out which option of the four would be better for YOU, but personally-I would choose option D. I would need that financial security because I am currently working part-time (full time hours if I am lucky) and it's a pain trying to scramble for more hours and live life paycheck to paycheck.
Options A, B, and C aren't going to give you that sense of financial security which is why you should consider ruling them out. You're at the age where you need to be taking care of yourself financially since you are able to do so. If you moved back to where your parents live, then you might fall into the trap of having them take care of your finances which wouldn't be great for you or your family dynamics.
Option D might mean being far away from your family and this particular guy, but there are other ways to stay close to someone despite physical distance (assuming that it's worth the distance).
posted by livinglearning at 8:21 AM on May 29, 2012
These kinds of issues are something I would discuss with my wife, and we discussed them when she was my girlfriend and we were living together and sharing finances. I cannot imagine doing the same thing during a "not in a relationship" dating situation.
My rule of thumb is this:
If it's not something you'd be willing to try long distance, it's not worth sticking around for.
posted by French Fry at 8:28 AM on May 29, 2012 [5 favorites]
My rule of thumb is this:
If it's not something you'd be willing to try long distance, it's not worth sticking around for.
posted by French Fry at 8:28 AM on May 29, 2012 [5 favorites]
Indeed. Let's have a stroll, shall we?
I miss living close to my family and would like to move to city closer to home, but have also built up a network of friends here and wouldn't mind sticking around for another year or two at least if not longer
It sounds like you are spreading your wings, living independently, and to some degree like where you are. First task is to figure out if 'you wouldn't mind sticking around' or 'you want to stay' (for you).
However, the job market in this city is pretty terrible, and while I could continue to work part time for my current employer it wouldn't cover the bills and it would be hard to find a full time job in this city.
People move to New York City or London or Hong Kong or San Francisco or LA and do the same thing. They want to be there so badly that it doesn't matter what the experience is of being there. If you have that burning passion, stay on. If you love it there, then you will make it work somehow. On the other hand, if you're ambivalent, it's going to be a World Of Pain.
I'm starting to apply to jobs and so I need to make this decision. So far I've been applying mostly to jobs in this region just because there are more jobs in the field I'm interested in out here
You 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs', eh? It's starting to sound like you want to be there.
The other complication, and the one I need help thinking about from y'all is that I started dating a guy in January of this year. It isn't particularly serious, we heaven't even talked about being exclusive although I'm not seeing anyone else and I doubt that he is either (took dating profile down, and just doesn't seem like he probably is. But I don't know for sure).
Okay, so you 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs' and you're seeing a man and it 'isn't particularly serious'. Man starting to sound like a red herring.
I didn't actually expect this to last this long as we've got pretty different worldviews and life goals in a lot of ways so I don't see myself staying with this guy forever but on the other hand, I've recently been feeling pretty attached to him and the idea of leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad.
And now, you 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs' and you're seeing a man and it 'isn't particularly serious'. You don't see yourself 'staying with this guy forever' however 'leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad'. You are starting to sound ambivalent. Could stay in the city, could go. Don't see a future with the man, don't want to not take the chance.
I feel silly thinking about planning my life around a guy I've only known for 4 months who I'm not technically in a relationship and who is probably incompatible with me at some pretty deep levels. On the other hand, my dating experiences have historically been pretty terrible and it's nice to have this thing happening with a really decent sweet guy who I really like being around.
And more-so. 'Not technically in a relationship', 'incompatible'. The gem is that your dating experience has been pretty terrible. So you've found something that is not terrible. No wonder you feel silly about making a life decision about it. Let's cap that right there. Let your dating history be in the past. Who cares what happened yesterday. If you are with a guy because it's hard for you to find a boyfriend, you are not being authentic. You're not really feeling the relationship with this guy, are you? But it's better than being single. Being poor is better than being homeless, but it's not exactly what one aspires to, yeah?
The man is definitely a red-herring now.
So my options are:
A.) Get another temporary position lasting 3 mos-1 year in the region, see how things go with this guy semi-long distance (hour-ish drive). Good on the job front, decent on the guy front, bad on the family front.
B.) Cobble together a couple part time jobs in my current city, one in my field and one most likely starbucks or something, stay in my current city and living situation (which I really like), enjoy living around friends and see how things go with guy. Bad on the family front, good on the guy front, bad on the job front, good on the friend front.
C.) Move back to home region, forget the guy. There is not really any guarantee that I'll get a job at home, though. Good on the family front, bad on the guy front, ?? on the job front :/.
D.) Apply to jobs regardless of location and get a job far away from family region and current location. This is probably the best career move but I'm not sure I'm ready to build my social network up from the ground yet again.
Good start, now throw away the list. Get a piece of paper and write down your priorities in order. Some you've hit on are:
1) Family
2) Old friends
3) New friends
4) Non-boyfriend
5) part-time job
6) career
7) ...
8) ...
Put those in order and start making decisions from a place of what you want, rather than a place of looking for the best compromises.
Obviously I'm going to have to talk with him about this at some point and see if we're even close to on the same page about things-- for all I know he is going to dump me tomorrow, or is enjoying things as far as they go but is planning on them ending in August. He knows that the job will be ending and knows I move around a lot and don't know what I'm doing so I'm not totally springing this on him or anything. I don't know if there's a way to approach this without having a pretty intense talk about The Future and How Much Do You Like Me, Where Do You Think We'll Be In Four Months?, when I'd otherwise be just as happy to let things move slowly and see where things went.
If you want it to end now, then have that conversation. You're not secure in the relationship and basically the 'obviously' 'intense' conversation is like screaming 'validate me!' It's common, don't worry. Young people always want people to give them answers that are not possible. All you're going to do is put a lot of pressure on a fragile situation. You need to make your own decisions first and foremost and then see where this goes from there.
So anyway, to some extent this will ultimately be decided by what jobs I get but I'm trying to focus this job search regionally a little more and I still would like any thoughts on how to navigate the dating piece of this puzzle. Is it silly to be factoring him into this decision at this stage? Is there a way I can talk to him about it in a low-pressure way?
It's not silly. But you're navigating the wrong thing. You cannot control whether you are with him or not. Maybe you will be, maybe you will not be. But I will tell you that your life will be significantly impacted either positively or negatively by the career moves you make now. It's a tough market, and you're not getting any younger.
If you want to know my opinion, 1) you want to stay where you are, 2) you've started the process, but 3) it's tough and you miss the security of where you're from. 4) You're dating a guy who is not terrible, and 5) you're feeling very unsure about your future, so 6) you're looking for security from him.
You should probably stay because if you leave, you'll be giving up more than you think. You have a part-time job and are applying for full-time jobs. You Are Making It. Shit is slow right now. As far as the dude goes, it's a red-herring. It's perfectly acceptable for you to stay because you want to stay. Keep things with the dude light. Don't have any conversations you'll regret in five years (like SUPER INTENSE DTRs OMG). Chill out.
And read up on ambivalence, for I think you'll get a lot out of breaking your cycle of sitting on fences.
Good luck, you're almost there... you're actually much further toward the next step than you think.
posted by nickrussell at 8:36 AM on May 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
I miss living close to my family and would like to move to city closer to home, but have also built up a network of friends here and wouldn't mind sticking around for another year or two at least if not longer
It sounds like you are spreading your wings, living independently, and to some degree like where you are. First task is to figure out if 'you wouldn't mind sticking around' or 'you want to stay' (for you).
However, the job market in this city is pretty terrible, and while I could continue to work part time for my current employer it wouldn't cover the bills and it would be hard to find a full time job in this city.
People move to New York City or London or Hong Kong or San Francisco or LA and do the same thing. They want to be there so badly that it doesn't matter what the experience is of being there. If you have that burning passion, stay on. If you love it there, then you will make it work somehow. On the other hand, if you're ambivalent, it's going to be a World Of Pain.
I'm starting to apply to jobs and so I need to make this decision. So far I've been applying mostly to jobs in this region just because there are more jobs in the field I'm interested in out here
You 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs', eh? It's starting to sound like you want to be there.
The other complication, and the one I need help thinking about from y'all is that I started dating a guy in January of this year. It isn't particularly serious, we heaven't even talked about being exclusive although I'm not seeing anyone else and I doubt that he is either (took dating profile down, and just doesn't seem like he probably is. But I don't know for sure).
Okay, so you 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs' and you're seeing a man and it 'isn't particularly serious'. Man starting to sound like a red herring.
I didn't actually expect this to last this long as we've got pretty different worldviews and life goals in a lot of ways so I don't see myself staying with this guy forever but on the other hand, I've recently been feeling pretty attached to him and the idea of leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad.
And now, you 'wouldn't mind sticking around' and 'there are more jobs' and you're seeing a man and it 'isn't particularly serious'. You don't see yourself 'staying with this guy forever' however 'leaving without seeing where things go really makes me feel sad'. You are starting to sound ambivalent. Could stay in the city, could go. Don't see a future with the man, don't want to not take the chance.
I feel silly thinking about planning my life around a guy I've only known for 4 months who I'm not technically in a relationship and who is probably incompatible with me at some pretty deep levels. On the other hand, my dating experiences have historically been pretty terrible and it's nice to have this thing happening with a really decent sweet guy who I really like being around.
And more-so. 'Not technically in a relationship', 'incompatible'. The gem is that your dating experience has been pretty terrible. So you've found something that is not terrible. No wonder you feel silly about making a life decision about it. Let's cap that right there. Let your dating history be in the past. Who cares what happened yesterday. If you are with a guy because it's hard for you to find a boyfriend, you are not being authentic. You're not really feeling the relationship with this guy, are you? But it's better than being single. Being poor is better than being homeless, but it's not exactly what one aspires to, yeah?
The man is definitely a red-herring now.
So my options are:
A.) Get another temporary position lasting 3 mos-1 year in the region, see how things go with this guy semi-long distance (hour-ish drive). Good on the job front, decent on the guy front, bad on the family front.
B.) Cobble together a couple part time jobs in my current city, one in my field and one most likely starbucks or something, stay in my current city and living situation (which I really like), enjoy living around friends and see how things go with guy. Bad on the family front, good on the guy front, bad on the job front, good on the friend front.
C.) Move back to home region, forget the guy. There is not really any guarantee that I'll get a job at home, though. Good on the family front, bad on the guy front, ?? on the job front :/.
D.) Apply to jobs regardless of location and get a job far away from family region and current location. This is probably the best career move but I'm not sure I'm ready to build my social network up from the ground yet again.
Good start, now throw away the list. Get a piece of paper and write down your priorities in order. Some you've hit on are:
1) Family
2) Old friends
3) New friends
4) Non-boyfriend
5) part-time job
6) career
7) ...
8) ...
Put those in order and start making decisions from a place of what you want, rather than a place of looking for the best compromises.
Obviously I'm going to have to talk with him about this at some point and see if we're even close to on the same page about things-- for all I know he is going to dump me tomorrow, or is enjoying things as far as they go but is planning on them ending in August. He knows that the job will be ending and knows I move around a lot and don't know what I'm doing so I'm not totally springing this on him or anything. I don't know if there's a way to approach this without having a pretty intense talk about The Future and How Much Do You Like Me, Where Do You Think We'll Be In Four Months?, when I'd otherwise be just as happy to let things move slowly and see where things went.
If you want it to end now, then have that conversation. You're not secure in the relationship and basically the 'obviously' 'intense' conversation is like screaming 'validate me!' It's common, don't worry. Young people always want people to give them answers that are not possible. All you're going to do is put a lot of pressure on a fragile situation. You need to make your own decisions first and foremost and then see where this goes from there.
So anyway, to some extent this will ultimately be decided by what jobs I get but I'm trying to focus this job search regionally a little more and I still would like any thoughts on how to navigate the dating piece of this puzzle. Is it silly to be factoring him into this decision at this stage? Is there a way I can talk to him about it in a low-pressure way?
It's not silly. But you're navigating the wrong thing. You cannot control whether you are with him or not. Maybe you will be, maybe you will not be. But I will tell you that your life will be significantly impacted either positively or negatively by the career moves you make now. It's a tough market, and you're not getting any younger.
If you want to know my opinion, 1) you want to stay where you are, 2) you've started the process, but 3) it's tough and you miss the security of where you're from. 4) You're dating a guy who is not terrible, and 5) you're feeling very unsure about your future, so 6) you're looking for security from him.
You should probably stay because if you leave, you'll be giving up more than you think. You have a part-time job and are applying for full-time jobs. You Are Making It. Shit is slow right now. As far as the dude goes, it's a red-herring. It's perfectly acceptable for you to stay because you want to stay. Keep things with the dude light. Don't have any conversations you'll regret in five years (like SUPER INTENSE DTRs OMG). Chill out.
And read up on ambivalence, for I think you'll get a lot out of breaking your cycle of sitting on fences.
Good luck, you're almost there... you're actually much further toward the next step than you think.
posted by nickrussell at 8:36 AM on May 29, 2012 [4 favorites]
If you were to decide to stick around, you'd need to be happy with that decision regardless of your relationship status. Take him out of the decision-making process.
Then you can have a serious talk about what you've decided, and where this is going. By the way, 4 months is a good time to get a pulse check on how things are going.
posted by lizbunny at 8:43 AM on May 29, 2012
Then you can have a serious talk about what you've decided, and where this is going. By the way, 4 months is a good time to get a pulse check on how things are going.
posted by lizbunny at 8:43 AM on May 29, 2012
Hey, dating is fun and you guys seem to be hitting off decently. But as my old algebra teacher used to say, "Don't date a gas station attendant if you don't want to marry a gas station attendant." So if you get offered a good job, jump at it and move.
In this economy (no matter where you are) you need to be mobile. You sound like you're up for the adventure, so that's great. Travel light.
As for dating people, hey, you might like your guy for a friend, not necessarily a life-partner. So if that's the case, you can keep in touch, like you would with other friends.
The most important thing right now is to get a great job. You'll make new friends, you'll meet new people, you'll find another awesome apartment. Jobs however, don't grow on trees.
If permanant is too much to hope for (and I'm sad for you if that's the case) then shoot for the long term contract positions.
You are the perfect age to test the waters, now is the time to build your career, boys can wait. Besides, it's not like you want to settle down now.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:09 AM on May 29, 2012
In this economy (no matter where you are) you need to be mobile. You sound like you're up for the adventure, so that's great. Travel light.
As for dating people, hey, you might like your guy for a friend, not necessarily a life-partner. So if that's the case, you can keep in touch, like you would with other friends.
The most important thing right now is to get a great job. You'll make new friends, you'll meet new people, you'll find another awesome apartment. Jobs however, don't grow on trees.
If permanant is too much to hope for (and I'm sad for you if that's the case) then shoot for the long term contract positions.
You are the perfect age to test the waters, now is the time to build your career, boys can wait. Besides, it's not like you want to settle down now.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:09 AM on May 29, 2012
I have to agree with the people who say focus on the job. While it sucks, and you may not necessarily want that to be your focus, gaining a sense of stability in a job market that sucks is kind of a big deal.
You sound wishy-washy about the guy. Yea your seeing him and nobody else, but you don't actually know what he's doing, and yea, you've got fundamental difference, but you're seeing him and nobody else. It sounds like, right now he's there, he's convenient, and so you're dating him. There doesn't seem to be a lot of passion in your feelings for him, and that's not a bad thing. Just don't base your next life decision around a guy you're not crazy about and haven't DTR'd with.
Your friends, if they're worthy, will keep in contact if you take another job somewhere else, especially if it's what you want to do. Heck, if it's a crazy enough place, maybe you'll be lucky enough to have them come visit. Friends can also be made and found in other places. I know it's a pain, I know it takes work, but if you find and take a job you love, the rest will follow.
You're young, you've got options. Don't base those options on this "kind of" guy. Base them on where you want to be, how you can get there, and what the best path is for your future.
posted by bleachandink at 12:27 PM on May 29, 2012
You sound wishy-washy about the guy. Yea your seeing him and nobody else, but you don't actually know what he's doing, and yea, you've got fundamental difference, but you're seeing him and nobody else. It sounds like, right now he's there, he's convenient, and so you're dating him. There doesn't seem to be a lot of passion in your feelings for him, and that's not a bad thing. Just don't base your next life decision around a guy you're not crazy about and haven't DTR'd with.
Your friends, if they're worthy, will keep in contact if you take another job somewhere else, especially if it's what you want to do. Heck, if it's a crazy enough place, maybe you'll be lucky enough to have them come visit. Friends can also be made and found in other places. I know it's a pain, I know it takes work, but if you find and take a job you love, the rest will follow.
You're young, you've got options. Don't base those options on this "kind of" guy. Base them on where you want to be, how you can get there, and what the best path is for your future.
posted by bleachandink at 12:27 PM on May 29, 2012
Do what's best for your career. Moving and getting a new "social network" of friends is still relatively easy at your age. Maybe what's best for your career is home, or a whole new city, or whatever, but I doubt you'd regret going to "best city for my job", whereas I can see "stayed for some guy" or "went back to family" could possibly do that. For me at least. You're smart and talented and young and go for it with the job!
posted by manicure12 at 4:30 PM on May 29, 2012
posted by manicure12 at 4:30 PM on May 29, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by xingcat at 8:11 AM on May 29, 2012