Changed my major and now I'm struggling, can I do this?
May 24, 2012 8:28 AM   Subscribe

I'm a junior in college and I want to change my major which means I'd have to stay an extra 1 - 2 years. I just finished a bad semester and now I feel more discouraged than ever. Please help.

I entered college as a political science major because I didn't know what I really wanted to do. It was right around the time of the 2008 election and I was really into my AP Government class, so I chose political science. I knew within my first semester that I had no intention of actually following through with a social science major because I had no chance at employment.

So for years I've wanted to change to computer science, but I just ignored it. I attend a public state research university with a strong computer science program. I didn't have the math prerequisites so I just took social science classes that interested me for the past 3 years. I'm embarrassed at what a waste of time and money this was, but I don't really regret it because I enjoyed those classes and I'm happy I took them. Last summer I started on the math prerequisites, and this last spring semester I started on the computer science major requirements.

But now I feel extremely discouraged. I have (diagnosed) major depressive disorder and social anxiety which have been under control for a long time. I was fine for a while but this semester everything came to a head from additional stress (having to babysit an elderly disabled relative 3-4 days a week - this won't be an issue next semester). A huge thing for me is avoidance and escapism. I didn't like a professor so I stopped going to class. I couldn't wake up early enough for a 8:30 AM recitation despite setting multiple alarms every week. I missed lots of classes due to anxiety, and every time I missed a class I got even more anxious. I think it's necessary to add that I'm female, and one of about 5 females in each of my classes, so that was another huge factor in my anxiety - I didn't want any attention for being different.

So I ended up with grades far far less than I could have gotten which include the lowest grade I've ever gotten (programming: A-, linear algebra: B, discrete math: B, calculus 2: B-). Please believe me when I say I'm not an overachiever or being melodramatic by saying these are bad grades. I did well on almost every test, but the 15/20/25% of each grade that was based on participation in labs/recitation attendance etc. were all failing grades. I'm so upset because these grades were completely my fault for not wanting to leave the house. It would have been so easy to just get off my ass and go to class, but I decided not to and now my GPA has suffered.

All of that aside, I don't know if I'm cut out for this major. I like programming and I enjoyed reading the textbook. The major at my school has 3 core programming classes that must be taken before any 300 level theory classes, so all I know of CS at this moment is programming. The problem is so many students in my classes are very advanced. They have been programming for years - I have been programming for 4 months. They have all this in-depth knowledge of computers that I completely lack. I had some trouble in my discrete math class but I think that was mostly lack of studying and not going to class. If I had a hard time handling 4 100/200-level classes (13 credits), how am I possibly going to handle 4-5 300-level classes?

All of THAT aside, this major is probably going to take more than one additional year to complete. I need about 12 300-level courses, and it's not recommended that anyone takes more than 4 in one semester since they have such heavy courseloads. I'm going to have to take 4-5 each semester because I have no other gen ed classes left to take. The biggest problem is I need to officially change my major before I register for the third core course (I'm taking the second over the summer), but the person I need to sign the form won't be there until fall. I needed to complete 2 classes this semester in order to change my major, but he disappeared the day after grades were posted and the secretary said he won't be there during the summer. He also needs to sign a permission to enroll form if I want to bypass the "must be a CS major" requirement, so that won't work either. So I have a slim chance of finding him before the semester starts, having the registrar process the change, and finally enrolling in the class that has 5 seats left before the semester starts. That will most likely not happen.

I know most of the reason I feel like this is because of depression. I don't really get extremely sad anymore, I just seem to get things like brain fog and concentration/memory problems which were a huge problem when trying to study. I wanted to add that I will be getting health insurance starting in June and I fully intend to find a therapist to help with the depression/anxiety side of this situation.

I know in Real Life it's not actually a big deal, but I feel like a moron for spending 3 years doing nothing productive and possibly taking 6 years to get a BS degree. I was an overachiever in high school and my friends and family expected me to be successful. I KNOW I can still be successful after college, but taking 6 years to finish a BS degree that I don't even know if I can complete just feels embarrassing.

My question is really does anyone have any advice? Has anyone changed their major late in the game? Are there any CS majors here who knew way less than their peers at the beginning?
posted by nakedandalone to Education (27 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Does your school offer a minor in CS? Would the classes you've already taken count toward that?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:33 AM on May 24, 2012


Not in a computer science field myself, but my experience in life is that generally employers don't care that much about your major as long as you either have the relevant coursework or the relevant skills.
posted by forkisbetter at 8:37 AM on May 24, 2012


I went from getting a BFA (at a private school on the quarter system) to getting a BS (at a state school on the semester system) halfway through my junior year. Yes, it took me some extra time...7 years total! But it's certainly do-able. I attended a community college for 2 semesters in-between to get some of the math, history, and econ courses I needed out of the way at a reduced cost.
posted by JoanArkham at 8:43 AM on May 24, 2012


Can you finish up that PoliSci degree and spend the extra year you would have spent in college actually developing software? See, here's the thing about software (and I say this as someone who dropped out of college circa 25 years ago to pursue a career in software development): There's "computer science" (hardcore bit twiddling), and then there's software development. There's a diminishing need for people capable of the former, and the latter is really sociology.

If you haven't been bit twiddling since before you were 12, you're probably not really a natural born computer science nerd, so you're really talking about doing software development.

There are two things to that: In larger groups, the challenge isn't the coding itself, it's how you organize people to do the coding. Most of "software engineering" is strategies to get groups of people to communicate with each other. And in smaller groups, the challenge is understanding the problem/domain space.

So suck it up and grind your way through your next whatever. Yeah, it sucks, college is a lousy-ass way to learn which is why I left. However, refactor knowing this: What you get out of college isn't the degree, it isn't the knowledge, it's your peers. Spend the next whatever doing the minimum possible to pass and networking like hell. At some point you'll find a place where your skills match a software need. Find some of those peers, buy some pizzas, and stay up all night building that solution.

I'm not a PoliSci geek or anything, but I know from my volunteer work that there is, for instance, a need for software to help organize large numbers of volunteers (like: how do you allocate 100-200 volunteers for a 1 day event with a couple thousand attendees, like a large bike ride?). I have a friend who's built a company based on mapping relationships between volunteers in order to help non-profits better understand and cater to their donors (and that Berkeley PoliSci grad and "take to the streets" anarchist demonstrator now counts the U.S. DOJ as one of his biggest customers, 'cause they're using the software to help understand groups of demonstrators in various Arab countries, a set of ironies which makes my schadenfreude detectors tingle deliciously).

Similarly, there are probably all sorts of issues involved in running a political campaign that could be dealt with by writing or customizing some web apps; I have a number of friends who worked on the Clark campaign who ended up broke at the end of it, but who still say the connections they made there were worth it.

If you have the knack, programming is easy. The application of that programming is the hard part. Finish out the schooling, use that time to network, and in the process find something you can build a solution for and suck the people you've networked with in to building that solution. Some of them may be programmers, at which point you can let them teach you that bit. Heck, maybe you can even creatively turn that solution into class credit somehow.
posted by straw at 8:48 AM on May 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Regarding changing majors, have you tried contacting by email the person who needs to sign your form? If a person is not around for the summer, usually there are mechanisms in place for forms to be handled. Does the secretary know who else could sign forms or other steps you could take?

Personally I do think it would be worth the extra time to finish the CS degree, if your heart is in it. Is there any possibility of graduating with a PoliSci / CS double major? In that case taking extra time to finish your degree(s) would be no big deal to anybody.

Lastly, feeling underprepared for CS classes is (sadly) a widespread experience for women, and one of the main reasons women opt out of CS majors. Reading this book, Unlocking the Clubhouse: Women in Computing, may be helpful - I experienced many "Aha!" moments while reading it, and made me understand that it wasn't just me not working hard enough. Also check out some of the pieces on Lenore Blum's home page.
posted by needled at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Since no one has mentioned this yet, do you have a doctor that can confirm your diagnosis of depression? There should be people in your school that can help you to cope, and they may be able to help you get some do-overs on your course work if that is what you want. Coping with a medical issue is one of the very few ways that you might be able to renegotiate your grades after the fact.
posted by pickypicky at 9:02 AM on May 24, 2012


My two cents is that even if it would take 10 years, just go ahead and study whatever you want at your own pace. Don't think of the possible consequences things may bring, because they may never happen at all, and too much worrying would only make your time unproductive.

In the same sense, people overthink and overvalue some things. Finishing a major with honors doesn't automatically give good jobs to people. Some have to search for it, and earn the opportunities.

So the key is, make the most out of what you can learn during college, but don't stop there. In this time, a degree is not the only thing that would guarantee you a stable future. Go beyond academics, learn more skills outside your curriculum, interact more with people, and most importantly, network, and be aware of your world (or your field of interest). If you have the right connections maybe you don't even have to finish a degree.

Disclaimer: I based my answer on your title, and I've only skimmed your post, so I'm not sure if I'm helping you at all. Just my 2 cents, as I've said. Nonetheless, I sincerely hope you'll eventually get into grips with these things. Trust me, after stepping out into the 'real world' some things don't matter that much anymore.
posted by vastopenspaces at 9:17 AM on May 24, 2012


If I were you, I'd tack on a computer science minor and get the BA completed on time. I'd then take computer science in a local community college while working in IT and doing the "single career girl thang."
posted by lotusmish at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Do you actually LIKE political science? Do you actually LIKE computer science?

Don't force yourself to major in something just because it's "practical" or because you think it'll be easier to get a job after you graduate.

I majored in anthropology, which is a much less "useful" major than poli sci, and I had a job waiting for me after graduation. In an industry that is notoriously "impossible to get a job in". It was a better job market then, but things change and in another couple years the job situation could be great again.

Don't worry about the year or two it'll take to finish if you're absolutely SURE you want to do computer science. Two years seems like a long time now, and the difference between graduating at 24 vs. 22 probably seems huge as well. But in the long run, nobody cares and you'll halfway forget it ever happened within a few years. Nobody will care what grade you got in some math class. Nobody will care that you had a depressive episode and flaked out for a bit that one time junior year.

Also, stop beating yourself up for "wasting three years doing nothing". For one thing, AFAIK you can't get a college degree without accruing all the credits you spent those three years earning. I know CS folks can be snobby about anything that isn't computer science, but last I checked you can't actually earn a bachelor's degree with only math and programming courses. You took, what, 12-15 actual credits in your major during that time? So? And that was, I'm guessing, political theory, philosophy, economics, and maybe some practical "political development/government" classes? NOT A WASTE OF YOUR TIME, SERIOUSLY.

If nothing else, you probably spent those three years developing critical thinking and communications skills that are notoriously lacking in CS folks. This could well give you a leg up on the competition in the future.
posted by Sara C. at 9:49 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Best answer: First, a rant:

If you haven't been bit twiddling since before you were 12, you're probably not really a natural born computer science nerd, so you're really talking about doing software development.

I have a PhD in computer science, and I strongly disagree with this statement. Reading it makes me so angry. Computer science and software development is not a mystical cult that you have to have joined at age 12. It is a body of knowledge, a set of skills, and a problem-solving outlook centered around the ideas of computation and computational machines. All of these can be learned, and are learned every day by students in colleges and university programs in CS, as well as by people engaged in teaching themselves. When we promulgate the idea that in order to be a successful software developer at 22, you have to have been a self-taught programmer at 12, we end up kicking out everyone who was not a socially ostracized boy from an upper-middle-class family. (Note: on average. Exceptions to the rule, blah blah. We can talk about how accurate this stereotype is elsewhere if you prefer, but in the meantime, look around your office for minority programmers, women programmers, and programmers from poor families. If it corresponds to the industry averages, then you are looking at 20% women, and very few minorities. The "upper-middle-class" thing is because it takes extra income to afford a computer at home for the 12 year old). Please stop chasing interested people away from CS, simply because they don't fit your stereotypes of how a future CS major should have behaved in jr high.


Now, on to the actual question posed:

When I was a student getting an undergraduate degree in computer science, I knew MANY people who were excellent computer scientists who did not have prior experience before college.

Now that I am a professor of computer science, I have taught MANY students with no prior experience who became excellent computer scientists and got jobs doing software development where they did (and are doing!) quite well.

I am a computer science professor, and I say that if you like reading the textbook and you like programming, then you should go for it. Do not let the existence of some experienced undergrads dissuade you from a lucrative career path involving doing something you enjoy. Unlocking the Clubhouse is a great read for people in your situation, but even more is maybe just finding out about the existence of stereotype threat and (especially) impostor syndrome - two bugs in the programming in our brains which have the effect of chasing people away from CS, particularly when coupled with the weird cultural crap that I ranted about above.

Anyhow, it is totally worth spending the extra year to have a major you like and a career you enjoy, especially given the unemployment rate in CS (almost nil) versus the unemployment rate for new grads in other majors (really big).
posted by pmb at 9:58 AM on May 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


I know most of the reason I feel like this is because of depression. I don't really get extremely sad anymore, I just seem to get things like brain fog and concentration/memory problems which were a huge problem when trying to study.

To me, this (plus the class-attending anxiety) sounds like the kind of helpless depressiony feelings I and a lot of other people I know had while suffering from untreated ADD/ADHD. Just something to keep in mind when you finally get a chance to see a therapist.
posted by elizardbits at 10:00 AM on May 24, 2012


Hey, I was sort of in the same boat as you! I switched majors 4 times in college and didn't start taking CS classes until my junior year. My last two years I pretty much took nothing but CS classes, and at one point I was taking a 100, 200, 300, 400 and 500 level class all at the same time. One misconception you seem to have is that the 300+ courses are much harder than the other classes. In my mind they were actually easier- they've assumed you've been weeded out by the tougher 100/200 level classes and really focus on understanding on concepts instead.

Also, it was interesting to see the sort of 'consilience' gained by taking courses up and down the hierarchy at the same time.

And don't get the wrong idea I was not an overachiever by any means. I actually failed my CS102 class because of some of the same reasons you did- I merely retook it the next semester.

I'm not saying that it will be easy- of course, it won't be. But it is definitely doable. And you should have reason to be optimistic now that you are getting treatment for depression, you caretaker duties are lightening, and you have some actual programming experience under your belt.
posted by thewumpusisdead at 10:03 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also: those are fine grades. Grades in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) classes are lower than grades in other subjects. In my school we generally try to aim so that the classes have a B- average, and I am pretty sure that is a standard approach. If that is true of your school, then you are doing better than average in everything except Calc II, which is the course your listed that is the least relevant to CS as a whole. I had a 3.0 as an undergrad, and I'm now a professor. You should re-adjust your internal scale.
posted by pmb at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, and triggered by Sara C.'s comment: The thing I miss now is that it would be handy to have a Professional Engineering cert, and that'd have been gotten by following an actual engineering track through college. From the perspective of where I am, if you don't have that a degree is a degree is a degree. My current boss is an English major.

And because I'm posting this after pmb's "...makes me so angry". Yeah, that was hyperbole, but it stems from an incident mumbledy decades ago where a friend of mine who still is a pharmacist, and was at the time, was going through to get a CS degree. He's a smart guy, brilliant writer, a pharmacist so capable of learning a whole lot about systems and interactions and such, but despite the fact that his grades were decent, the whole programming thing wasn't "clicking" with him. As a cocky asshole barely 20 something, I said "maybe programming isn't for you, then", and he still recounts that comment as the wake-up that sent him off to do things that he actually was good at.

I have worked with far too many people who've had CS degrees but didn't really "get" programming to believe that everyone can be taught to be a programmer, and I also believe that if you want to learn how to program, college is a lousy way to learn.

So I stand by my recommendation: Find an application, pick an environment/language out of a hat, and build that application. And your PoliSci degree is gonna be as helpful as anything in doing that.
posted by straw at 10:07 AM on May 24, 2012


I was was terrible in Discrete and Calc2. I graduated and have a fun job. Just keep at it.

Are there any CS majors here who knew way less than their peers at the beginning?

We all have different levels of skill. Some of the guys I knew/know love to go home and code at night, still, I do not. Just find the piece of life you are good/great at and own that thing. And don't worry about the time (years) spent in school, just graduate when you graduate and don't rush it.
posted by zombieApoc at 10:20 AM on May 24, 2012


I just wanted to say that from a vantage point 20 years down the road, it's much easier to change majors now and study what you want than to either go back to school or get a whole different degree later. It's not impossible, but for most of my adult life I've been pretty sad that I already spent my college money (on college, of course) but wish I'd studied a whole different field. Do it now!
posted by Occula at 10:21 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, I disagree that CS is "bit twiddling", and that software development is, by implication, not. CS is hard to talk about because we are still figuring it out, but here are the Great Principles of Computing. Computer science ideas changed the world three times in the 20th century - centralized computing, personal computing, and the Internet - and none of those changes are adequately described as "bit twiddling". Alright, that's it for me. I'm feeling ranty and so should get off the Internet.

To the original asker: If you like it (which your question suggests you do), and are good at it (which your grades suggest you are), then you should go for it.
posted by pmb at 10:35 AM on May 24, 2012


I was a science major who had fallen in love with programming in middle school with LOGO and high school with Pascal. When I tried to take an algorithms and data structures course in college, I was humiliated very quickly -- just to compile and submit the homework, I needed to do this Unix stuff that was totally unfamiliar, and I felt like the only person in the class who hadn't been born knowing how to do this stuff. I ended up taking a similar course in grad school and surviving just fine, with a lot of effort, and I'm still proud of that. You can move past the shame, and even benefit from the experience.

It's a harmful fallacy to think that if you're not the best at something, that it won't be useful to learn it. Programming is awesome: it's incredibly satisfying when you get something to work, and it teaches you a wonderful new way of thinking. I code most every day at my research job, and, while I know that I suck in absolute terms, I solve problems and discover things with what skills I have. You don't have to be the best to use it, enjoy it, and have that skill open doors for you.

Also, entry courses in sciences are known as "weed-outs" for a reason -- they can be much harder than upper-level courses if you're coming in without much experience (e.g., can't use Unix!). Encountering some initial friction doesn't mean that you're doomed.
posted by inkfish at 10:55 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


nakedandalone: "A huge thing for me is avoidance and escapism. I didn't like a professor so I stopped going to class. I couldn't wake up early enough for a 8:30 AM recitation despite setting multiple alarms every week. I missed lots of classes due to anxiety, and every time I missed a class I got even more anxious."

This is hard. I struggle with it myself, and I don't know the answer to tell you. But it's worth noting that this isn't in any way specific to CS. Have you never disliked a professor in the social sciences, or slept through a recitation for your general education requirements? I agree that you've identified a problem, but it's not one that changing your major is going to help.

nakedandalone: "All of that aside, I don't know if I'm cut out for this major. I like programming and I enjoyed reading the textbook. The major at my school has 3 core programming classes that must be taken before any 300 level theory classes, so all I know of CS at this moment is programming."

First of all, this is a dumb way to organize a CS program, and it's going to drive away many students who would otherwise be successful. To paraphrase Dijkstra, CS is about computers like astronomy is about telescopes. The theoretical side is completely different and can be introduced in parallel to the systems side. Since you're taking programming courses now, you may recognize Dijkstra's name from the eponymous shortest-path algorithm, the semaphore, and the paper "Go To Statement Considered Harmful." He's kind of a big deal. What you might not know is that he would have washed out of your CS program, because he basically never learned to use a computer.

So your difficulties in the introductory programming courses are a poor predictor of your performance in the advanced theory courses. (Honestly, given the horror stories I've heard about bad "intro programming" courses that think programming is about memorizing bizarre corners of the C99 specification, it's probably a poor predictor of your performance in the advanced systems courses as well.) But the point is, you can, and I know many people who do, excel later in the program despite these initial difficulties.

I would encourage you to stick with the program. You write that you've wanted to do CS for years, that when curved against students who have been programming for years you still came out with an A-, and that your difficulties with discrete math were mostly due to not studying. These are the sorts of things that suggest the correct course of action may be to study more, not to drop the major.

By the way, if you're looking for "I've been there too" stories, I started out as a biochemistry major, took the first intro CS class my junior year, and am now about to graduate after five years. I do not regret the decision.
posted by d. z. wang at 11:08 AM on May 24, 2012


1) relax. You'll be fine, whatever you do.

2) consider a second bachelors. Once you complete your BA, you can do a second one without taking the cores. These are usually more flexible. You can do them and work, or not work.

3) if you're going to switch, make peace with it. It's better to spend an extra year or two in school than wish you always had done. Besides, you'll may end up with a major in CS and a minor in Polisci if you have enough credits. You'll get two more years of summer internships and have more options when you're done.

4) Consider that you're taking too much on, hence the depression. College people are pushed too hard. You'll find out years later that a lot of people were depressed. Hence start cutting things out of your life until you are happy. Be merciless. No one else has to live with your choices besides you. Have no allegiances other than to where you're going. You make get stress from friends, or family. That does not concern you. All that concerns you is the road forward, whatever it may be.
posted by nickrussell at 11:23 AM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


It sounds like you're not having a problem with your major change, but with depression and anxiety. It sounds like you really do enjoy your CS coursework, when your brain fog isn't getting in the way.

Data point: I'm a CS nerd. I've been doing this stuff since I was twelve, as noted above (white, middle class family, check it!) and I still get A-/B+ regularly in my CS classes (I'm better at programming than tests). Actually, in my math classes too. You're pulling A-s and Bs on the strength of tests alone? Once you work through your brain bugs you'll be totally fine on that front.

I'm so upset because these grades were completely my fault for not wanting to leave the house.

Look, if you have social anxiety and depression, then not wanting to leave the house is a symptom, not a lack of willpower. Brain chemistry is a bitch, and willpower can just not work sometimes. Try to be kind to yourself if you can.

For what it's worth, your compatriots in the CS program are probably nerdier and even more socially anxious than you are (just statistically, because they're mostly male). Even the ones who are supremely confident at their CS skills.
posted by BungaDunga at 11:35 AM on May 24, 2012


Okay, at this point, it's not about getting an education, it's about getting out. Take it from someone who took 7 years to get a damn English degree.

It's perfectly okay to not know what you want to do at your age. Also, a college degree isn't a technical certification.

You took a couple of classes in something you thought you'd like, and it turns out, it wasn't what you were expecting.

Go to an academic advisor and discuss your options. Does it make sense at this stage of the game to change majors? (It might if you were burning with a passion to switch to Computer Science.) Does it make more sense to double major? If you're spending an extra year anyway, you might as well. Hey! Two degrees in only 5 years. It might make more sense to finish up Poly Sci and graduate. Don't do this alone!

Relax, you're allowed to change your mind. You're young. Explore all of your options.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 12:12 PM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


One thing you can try to do if you are concerned about the opportunity cost/monetary cost of spending another 1-2 years in college to finish your CS degree is that you can potentially replace that with some experience--are there research projects in the Pol Sci department that could use your computational skills? You can use these experiences to "get your foot in the door" that you can use later on to get jobs in computer-science related fields. This may be tougher because you will need to learn a lot of stuff on your own (but as you need them) rather than getting spoon-fed these things in a class. However, what you do learn will probably stick with you better as it's presented in a particular real-world context rather than in an abstract classroom setting.

There is a lot of need to approach social science from a computational perspective, eg. Computational Social Science workshop at NIPS 2011 (a major machine learning conference).
posted by scalespace at 12:38 PM on May 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also, beware of the "sunk-cost fallacy"--there's no harm in switching at this stage especially if you think CS is for you and not PoliSci. Ultimately, the potential gains from switching now to CS are much greater than the cost of the previous 3 years of studying for PoliSci. Just something to keep in mind.
posted by scalespace at 12:43 PM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


can I do this?

Yes.

taking 6 years to finish a BS degree that I don't even know if I can complete just feels embarrassing

I know that, from your perspective right now, it feels embarrassing. But think about it this way: when future employers look at your resume, you can just put the end date on there -- "graduated 201x" -- and they won't know or care about how long you took to get there.
posted by brainwane at 5:32 PM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I work at a software company you've heard of and probably wouldn't mind working for, and I definitely have colleagues who took six years to get bachelor's degrees because they started as music majors or whatever and figured out late that CS was a thing they wanted to do. It is not a mark of shame that'll prevent you from getting hired. It is worth finishing if you can afford to stay in school, and your grades aren't beyond-the-pale bad. Get your head in order, get the help you need, and keep it up.

I know it feels like everyone in your classes but you was born with a keyboard in one hand and a mouse in the other...but that's because the 70% of people who weren't are heads down, studying, and trying to catch up, instead of running off at the mouth about that time in elementary school when they were hacking on the Linux bootloader with their dad and dad's best friend Linus. Lots of toolboxes in CS talk the talk. The culture has its own brand of machismo and a vocal minority like to participate and perpetuate, to the detriment of the culture as a whole. Just ignore it and walk the walk and eventually you'll build skills everyone has to recognize.

I do a lot of online mentoring of younger computer science students and have a reasonable amount of practice at giving motivational pep-talks. Memail me if you want to correspond - I leaned heavily on mentors to get me through rough patches as an undergrad and am only too happy to pay it forward.
posted by town of cats at 9:51 PM on May 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


The best advice that I have is to not give up. I was a lot like you in college, I think - I didn't know what I wanted to do, though I did like computers a lot, and I was worried about wasting time and money trying to figure it all out. In the midst of all of that, I had what I now know was a depressive episode that led me to give up entirely. I had ~80 credit hours towards a math degree, but I wasn't sure that was what I wanted, and I couldn't drag myself out of bed to go to class, and I just..quit. I regret doing that so much now, even though I have a great job despite not having a degree. I wish I had known to get help.

I work in a university now, and from my observations, so much of college (and life, for that matter) is perseverance. Talk to your advisor about what your options are for degrees. Try to remember that you are allowed to mess up. You are allowed to have a bad semester. You are allowed to get a B, or even a C. These things don't mean you are a failure, or that you are not cut out for CS. You may need to revisit your solutions for coping with the anxiety and depression, because college is a whole different level of stress from what you were probably used to dealing with, but that's okay, too. You can do this!
posted by ashirys at 8:30 AM on May 25, 2012


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