finding a place for a tryst

July 25, 2005 2:32 PM

I havent seen my girlfriend in months, cause ive been traveling abroad. Im in graduate school and happen to crashing at my parents home for two weeks, which is where she is. Shell be in town for a weekend, and we really can´t have sex at my parents house, but we want to still have somewhere to be intimate.

I havent seen my girlfriend in months, cause ive been traveling abroad. Im in graduate school and happen to crashing at my parents home for two weeks, which is where she is. Shell be in town for a weekend, and we really can´t have sex at my parents house, but we want to still have somewhere to be intimate.

This situation hasnt really come up for me before, and im not sure which way to go with it. Is a pay by hour hotel gonna be really sketchy and crawling with prostitutes? Where would i even find one? Im in the DC area and hotels are really really expensive (we are students, not with a lot of money). We wont be seeing each other for several weeks after, so i dont really want to wait...but i dont really wanna end up doing something in a park or other place like that. And theres not really a friends place i could borrow for a bit. We just want a few hours, not a weekend.

The irony is that im traveling in Latin America right now, and per hour sex hotels are everywhere here, due to societal taboos and large extended families at home. but it just occured to me that place like that in the USA are really normally pretty sketchy, and are a bit more legitimate here in Latin America.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (20 answers total)

Is there an art-house cinema near you? Back rows are generally conducive to hot hot naughtiness.
posted by Rothko at 2:37 PM on July 25, 2005

We used to drive down old dirt roads and park somewhere secluded. It's not such a great idea if you're very tall or your car is very compact--I have the scars on my knees to prove it!
posted by hamster at 2:39 PM on July 25, 2005

(1) Get in car. Borrow if necessary.
(2) Hit 95.
(3) Get past Beltway, look for Super 8 / Motel 6 / similar. Should be < $75. worst case, you end up halfway to richmond, but so what?br>
Alternatively, treat this as something special; get a night at a nicer place for $150 or less and make it up to your bank account over your next semester.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:41 PM on July 25, 2005

Have you really looked into those cheap, roadside motels. Many of them have that $39.95 a night thing. Not much bigger than a closet but they're clean and it sounds like thats all you need?

Another option is one of those spa-type places where you can rent a hottub or something by the hour.
posted by vacapinta at 2:42 PM on July 25, 2005

I have been in situations in the past where I wanted to get a hotel room near home. Priceline is perfect for this because you have a lot of flexibility. I highly recommend using the intelligence on Bidding for Travel or Better Bidding. Read all the FAQs carefully or you will screw it up. Feel free to ask on those boards for help. But only after reading the FAQs and meticulously asking in the specified formula—you will get a lot of attitude and not much help if you do not.

Right now people are listing successful bids in the D.C. area of around $45 for places I imagine are much nicer than Motel 6s, even if they aren't the cream of the crop.
posted by grouse at 2:52 PM on July 25, 2005

I'm not trying to be gross, but you haven't really checked out the hotels in the North Eastern side of town have you?

There are plenty of Motel 69's up New York Avenue, some of which actually have reputable brand names and thus sheet changing standards that are acceptable. Most are in the $40-50 range, which, I'd say, is worth it. Cheaper than a nice dinner in this town!
posted by Pollomacho at 3:07 PM on July 25, 2005

I second Priceline. It's helped me find hotel rooms locally for those weekends when not having an air conditioner makes life dreadful. Good luck, have fun, and be safe!
posted by greatgefilte at 3:10 PM on July 25, 2005

Hop in your car. Drive until you find a secluded park. Fornicate madly there.

Don't forget to take a blanket.
posted by Netzapper at 3:24 PM on July 25, 2005

Seems like you're making this harder on yourself than it needs to be (no pun intended). If you have even a little bit of money why don't you offer to pay for a night out for your parents (dinner, movie, whatever it takes) so you have the house to yourself? That way you both will be in familiar surroundings and it won't feel so sketchy.

If your family situation is such that your parents can't take a subtle hint (something I'm afraid I can relate to all to well), I'm not sure what to say but I wish you the best of luck & have fun.
posted by contessa at 3:25 PM on July 25, 2005

You haven't seen her in months? Spend the money for a nice room and dinner, have some fun, and make a weekend of it.
posted by nathan_teske at 3:32 PM on July 25, 2005

I'd go with Contessa's suggestion. Find a fun activity for your parents - a street fair or festival or a new museum or art/music show or whatever they are into - and suggest it. Stuff like that is happening all the time in DC. Suggest Old Town since that's kind of like a summer-long street fair. If they don't take the hint, why not just mention that your girlfriend is coming in town and... er, you'd like to cook dinner for her / show her a nice relaxing time at home.

Compliment your parents on how nicely they keep their home and how great it would be to host your girlfriend for an evening, how appreciative you'd be.

And gee doesn't Charlie and the Chocolate factory look like a fun romp? Shoo, shoo.
posted by lorrer at 3:45 PM on July 25, 2005

Yup, pay by the hours in the US are usually hot tubs/spas. Here's a nice one that's close to me, but not you. Maybe someone in the DC area knows a good one?
posted by trevyn at 3:51 PM on July 25, 2005

If you're in graduate school perhaps it's time to re-examine your foregone conclusion that you "can't have sex" in your parent's house. Some parents will be weird about it well into your 30s but mine didn't blink an eye even the first time when, in my early 20s, I thought " the hell with it - I'm an adult" and had my girlfriend sleep over.

For that matter, if you're in your 20s aren't your parents still of an age where they're in the workforce? Don't they leave the house for any period of time? Rushed stinks as a general practice but it's a fun spice on occassion.

Alternately you can go enjoy the great outdoors if you have anyone you can borrow camping gear from. Just in national parks you can go here and use the 'by topic' link to search for parks with camping. If you're hard up for cash that $15 may seem a lot better to you than $50 for hotels.
posted by phearlez at 4:02 PM on July 25, 2005

I agree with Rou_X. Tell your parents you are staying out for the night with your girlfriend. Get a nice place to stay that you can afford and have fun. Memories are made of this.
posted by madstop1 at 5:05 PM on July 25, 2005

I second phearlez's camping suggestion. Nothing quite as romantic yet inexpensive as a long hike followed by skinny dipping in the lake, followed by warming each other up in the tent.

Otherwise, I would not be cheap about finding a place to fuck unless you're absolutely sure she's fine about it. It's a special occasion -- make sure she remembers it for the right reasons, i.e. not because of the bed bugs and rusty tap water.
posted by randomstriker at 6:32 PM on July 25, 2005

Third the campgrounds. Cabins are a lot cheaper than hotels. And it passes for romance, unlike a Motel 6. Even if your girlfriend is fine with a cheapo hotel, that doesn't mean that she wouldn't prefer a situation with a little more class. And camping is classier than a cheap motel.

Don't even think of taking her to a by-the-hour place. If you're going to do that, you might as well just have a quickie in your parents laundry room or something.
posted by desuetude at 8:16 PM on July 25, 2005

Campgrounds are nice. If the weather is going to suit, taking a drive up to Shenandoah could be the thing. And you could blame any noises on the bears.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:03 PM on July 25, 2005

Oh, just go ahead and get it on at your parent's house. The possibility of getting caught will just add to the thrill....
posted by spilon at 9:24 PM on July 25, 2005

I'd go with Nike here : just do it, my friend ;)
posted by XiBe at 2:23 AM on July 26, 2005

Me too on the camping suggestion--that's how my then girlfriend and I spent time together in college. It'll sound like you're doing something wholesome, even. Not serious backpacking, just "car camping," where you drive up and unload your gear. I've seen the cabins here and here, and have camped both places. Nothing fancy, but cheap, and semi-romantic.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:25 AM on July 26, 2005