HealthFilter: I am curious about a strange disorder which I think might be Tourette's but I'm not sure. More (lurid and peculiar) details and symptoms below...
May 15, 2012 10:49 AM Subscribe
MedicalFilter: I am curious about a strange disorder which I think might be Tourette's but I'm not sure. More (lurid) details below.
For the past three years I've been living with my boyfriend and during this period of time I've noticed a lot of strange things that initially I had no clue were even there. So one thing that he likes to do, which is really odd is that sometimes he'll repeat a certain phrase at odd moments throughout the day. So for example, one day he'll just out of nowhere say something like "KUROSAWA" referring to the famed Japanese director, or he'll say another word--usually one with strong consonants and long vowels--intermittently throughout the day. It'll at most happen when he is doing some laborious task such as cleaning the gutters, sweeping the floor of the apartment, or preparing a complicated dish.
But that's not all. Over the past year I've noticed that he, ummm, likes to pinch his genitals. He's uncircumsized (i know TMI but whatever) and he likes to roll the foreskin back and forth, back and forth. I don't mean roll the foreskin back down the shaft which by itself is fine if I'm not in the mood, but he actually just likes to scrunch up the foreskin and then release, non-stop. What's even weirder is that he does when he is reading or engaging in some sedentary task like watching baseball (he's a red sox fan) or a movie with me. I've asked him why he does it and he says that its an irrepressible urge that he has sometimes and that when he does it feels really good and not in a sexual way. I'm really confused as well as disturbed by this behavior. I have no clue what this would even be called. Tourette's, maybe. Saying words to oneself and pinching the foreskin of one's genitals? I can believe the former is a symptom of Tourettes, but latter?
What I'd like is to see if anybody has heard of this before and can direct me to a website that describes this type of disorder. I'm still unsure as to whether it is Tourettes or not and I AM going to get him to see the doctor, but for now I'd atleast like to know what he (and by extension me) are dealing with.
Finally, I know the caveats about asking for medical advice on AskMefi. I understand and I'm not using this as as substitute for a competent and thorough assessment. I'll get him to finally see the doctor but for now I'd like to see if the Hive Mind has anything to say about this weird cluster of symptoms.
For the past three years I've been living with my boyfriend and during this period of time I've noticed a lot of strange things that initially I had no clue were even there. So one thing that he likes to do, which is really odd is that sometimes he'll repeat a certain phrase at odd moments throughout the day. So for example, one day he'll just out of nowhere say something like "KUROSAWA" referring to the famed Japanese director, or he'll say another word--usually one with strong consonants and long vowels--intermittently throughout the day. It'll at most happen when he is doing some laborious task such as cleaning the gutters, sweeping the floor of the apartment, or preparing a complicated dish.
But that's not all. Over the past year I've noticed that he, ummm, likes to pinch his genitals. He's uncircumsized (i know TMI but whatever) and he likes to roll the foreskin back and forth, back and forth. I don't mean roll the foreskin back down the shaft which by itself is fine if I'm not in the mood, but he actually just likes to scrunch up the foreskin and then release, non-stop. What's even weirder is that he does when he is reading or engaging in some sedentary task like watching baseball (he's a red sox fan) or a movie with me. I've asked him why he does it and he says that its an irrepressible urge that he has sometimes and that when he does it feels really good and not in a sexual way. I'm really confused as well as disturbed by this behavior. I have no clue what this would even be called. Tourette's, maybe. Saying words to oneself and pinching the foreskin of one's genitals? I can believe the former is a symptom of Tourettes, but latter?
What I'd like is to see if anybody has heard of this before and can direct me to a website that describes this type of disorder. I'm still unsure as to whether it is Tourettes or not and I AM going to get him to see the doctor, but for now I'd atleast like to know what he (and by extension me) are dealing with.
Finally, I know the caveats about asking for medical advice on AskMefi. I understand and I'm not using this as as substitute for a competent and thorough assessment. I'll get him to finally see the doctor but for now I'd like to see if the Hive Mind has anything to say about this weird cluster of symptoms.
Response by poster: He keeps putting it off. I think he's fairly embarrassed by these tics of his--if they are tics to begin with.
posted by RapcityinBlue at 10:59 AM on May 15, 2012
posted by RapcityinBlue at 10:59 AM on May 15, 2012
I'm guessing that it's not Tourette's. Sometimes an interesting word will get stuck in my mind and I'll say it aloud just to hear it with my ears.
I'm sure some of his other weirdnesses may border on TMI as well. Has he expressed interest in ceasing any of these behaviors?
It really seems to me like it's his choice whether he would like to have these issues addressed by a professional or not.
posted by dgeiser13 at 11:01 AM on May 15, 2012
I'm sure some of his other weirdnesses may border on TMI as well. Has he expressed interest in ceasing any of these behaviors?
It really seems to me like it's his choice whether he would like to have these issues addressed by a professional or not.
posted by dgeiser13 at 11:01 AM on May 15, 2012
Genital touching (any compulsion to touch things, really) is something that apparently that can be associated with Tourette's, but it could be something else.
Other abnormal movements or behavior patterns can also occur. Some of these include stuttering, sticking out the tongue constantly, pounding the chest, stomach or head with the hand or fist, grinding the teeth, handling the genitals constantly, abnormal walking, temper tantrums, echopraxia (imitating the movements of others), or compulsive touching. These are examples given to point out the wide variety of symptoms that may appear and to make it clear that additional symptoms are common with all tic disorders including Tourette syndrome
http://www.tsa-usa.org/aProfessionals/ClinicalCouns/images/tourettehandout_berlin.pdf
posted by inturnaround at 11:02 AM on May 15, 2012
Other abnormal movements or behavior patterns can also occur. Some of these include stuttering, sticking out the tongue constantly, pounding the chest, stomach or head with the hand or fist, grinding the teeth, handling the genitals constantly, abnormal walking, temper tantrums, echopraxia (imitating the movements of others), or compulsive touching. These are examples given to point out the wide variety of symptoms that may appear and to make it clear that additional symptoms are common with all tic disorders including Tourette syndrome
http://www.tsa-usa.org/aProfessionals/ClinicalCouns/images/tourettehandout_berlin.pdf
posted by inturnaround at 11:02 AM on May 15, 2012
Response by poster: The last time I talked to him about this he was really embarassed. Also, I'm not really looking for relationship advice although I appreciate your efforts. It's not that it bothers me but I am curious as to what could be causing this. If anybody knows what types of disorders are associated with this I'd be happy to know about them. Also any medical cases that you've heard about that are similar to this would be greatly appreciated.
posted by RapcityinBlue at 11:04 AM on May 15, 2012
posted by RapcityinBlue at 11:04 AM on May 15, 2012
This doesn't sound to me like a disorder, or even like a problem. I don't think that enjoying touching one's genitals non-sexually and saying words out loud are "symptoms" of anything. And I'd be embarrassed too if my significant other kept pushing me to talk about and seek a doctor's help for harmless little idiosyncrasies. Unless he has other issues that are actually problematic for him (e.g., causing mental pain or interfering with normal daily functioning), I'd just call this "quirky," not a medical issue at all.
posted by decathecting at 11:08 AM on May 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by decathecting at 11:08 AM on May 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Now that I think about it, he also sometimes scrunches up nose or lifts his upper lip to the tip of his nose.
posted by RapcityinBlue at 11:08 AM on May 15, 2012
posted by RapcityinBlue at 11:08 AM on May 15, 2012
From what I understand of Tourette's, it isn't necessarily strictly compulsively cussing. One of my co-workers has what she has herself referred to as "a mild Tourette's-like thing", and in her case, her tic is a combination of throat-clearing while scrunching her nose like she's trying to hold back a sneeze.
That may be the "kurosawa" thing. As for the genitalia -- hell, in some other thread somewhere on the blue or the green, recently even, I remember reading a lot of comments from people who were owning up to doing the same kind of non-sexual self-touching in the same kind of circumstances (watching TV, reading, etc). A lot of people find it to be comforting in a way. So I wouldn't stress about that.
If he himself has said he's had problems with the vocal outbursts, then go get a doctor's visit; otherwise, I'd leave him alone.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on May 15, 2012
That may be the "kurosawa" thing. As for the genitalia -- hell, in some other thread somewhere on the blue or the green, recently even, I remember reading a lot of comments from people who were owning up to doing the same kind of non-sexual self-touching in the same kind of circumstances (watching TV, reading, etc). A lot of people find it to be comforting in a way. So I wouldn't stress about that.
If he himself has said he's had problems with the vocal outbursts, then go get a doctor's visit; otherwise, I'd leave him alone.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on May 15, 2012
As far as the penis touching, does it disturb you because it is his genitals? Many guys scratch, rub, touch whatever some body part or the other when they sit in front of the TV. Do you think you would see it differently if he touched his ear lobe?
Regarding the verbal expressions: did you ask him about that? Is he using random words/names to omit cuss words? He might be just thinking/talking in his head and not realizing he said it aloud.
It can be annoying if someone has no self control in front of others, which would move this to human relations, but to me it does not sound worthy of medical attention.
posted by travelwithcats at 11:15 AM on May 15, 2012
Regarding the verbal expressions: did you ask him about that? Is he using random words/names to omit cuss words? He might be just thinking/talking in his head and not realizing he said it aloud.
It can be annoying if someone has no self control in front of others, which would move this to human relations, but to me it does not sound worthy of medical attention.
posted by travelwithcats at 11:15 AM on May 15, 2012
So your boyfriend has some tics. Lots of people do; nthing that it's up to him whether they are bothersome enough to seek treatment.
posted by Wordwoman at 11:16 AM on May 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Wordwoman at 11:16 AM on May 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
Now that I think about it, he also sometimes scrunches up nose or lifts his upper lip to the tip of his nose.
Sometimes, as in, while he's sitting at his desk looking at his computer monitor concentrating on something he does this, or while he's at the dinner table, he can't stop himself from scrunching his nose up and down?
Some of this sounds like it kind of falls in the category of hair-twirling or toe-tapping, but I'm having a hard time gauging the frequency of what you're referring to. Some people who've lived along for a while simply learned to no longer restrain themselves, because there was no one around, so they picked up habits that in private aren't a big deal but come across as very strange to people who see it on a day to day basis,
posted by deanc at 11:18 AM on May 15, 2012
Sometimes, as in, while he's sitting at his desk looking at his computer monitor concentrating on something he does this, or while he's at the dinner table, he can't stop himself from scrunching his nose up and down?
Some of this sounds like it kind of falls in the category of hair-twirling or toe-tapping, but I'm having a hard time gauging the frequency of what you're referring to. Some people who've lived along for a while simply learned to no longer restrain themselves, because there was no one around, so they picked up habits that in private aren't a big deal but come across as very strange to people who see it on a day to day basis,
posted by deanc at 11:18 AM on May 15, 2012
How long have you been together? I suspect that this is no medical disorder, but that an indication your boyfriend is extremely comfortable with you -- in fact, he's probably 100% comfortable around you from the time these "tics" started.
For the words -- does he swear? I know a few people who don't really swear, but they have weird words that they use in place of traditional swear words -- and I would certainly imagine cleanly the gutters would make someone swear, even veggie swear words. Kurosawa wouldn't be a bad thing to yell for a stubbed toe . . .
As for the penis thing . . . it's like a cat question. Yeah, well, cats are weird and yeah, well, it's a guy. Dudes just sit around and touch their junk sometimes; my brothers did, my boyfriends have, it's just a thing that they do. I occasionally look up from a book and discover that I'm sitting like Al Bundy with my hand stuffed down my waistband, I don't know why.
he also sometimes scrunches up nose or lifts his upper lip to the tip of his nose.
My father and I both do this as a "thinking face," which is apparently hereditary since I didn't grow up around him but I've done it all my life. Facial responses and expressions are like this sometimes.
TLDR, I don't think your boyfriend has a medical problem.
posted by mibo at 11:46 AM on May 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
For the words -- does he swear? I know a few people who don't really swear, but they have weird words that they use in place of traditional swear words -- and I would certainly imagine cleanly the gutters would make someone swear, even veggie swear words. Kurosawa wouldn't be a bad thing to yell for a stubbed toe . . .
As for the penis thing . . . it's like a cat question. Yeah, well, cats are weird and yeah, well, it's a guy. Dudes just sit around and touch their junk sometimes; my brothers did, my boyfriends have, it's just a thing that they do. I occasionally look up from a book and discover that I'm sitting like Al Bundy with my hand stuffed down my waistband, I don't know why.
he also sometimes scrunches up nose or lifts his upper lip to the tip of his nose.
My father and I both do this as a "thinking face," which is apparently hereditary since I didn't grow up around him but I've done it all my life. Facial responses and expressions are like this sometimes.
TLDR, I don't think your boyfriend has a medical problem.
posted by mibo at 11:46 AM on May 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
I'm a woman, and your boyfriend's vocal tics, face scrunches, and self-groping antics are (ahem) not unknown to me. One might say that I'm familiar with exactly those tics. Seriously, reading this was kind of funny for me, because his actions are so incredibly similar to mine,
Anyway, I asked my doctor and my psychiatrist about them, and they do not believe I have Tourette's or any other tic-related disorder. They think I'm a relatively normal person with tics. I've had an MRI in the last year, and nothing funky is going on upstairs. Both my doctor and my psychiatrist are competent -- I'd go as far to say my doctor is hypercompetent. I trust their judgement.
I do have an anxiety disorder, and these behaviors do increase when I'm nervous. But not every set of tics warrants a big, weighty diagnosis, in and of themselves. My husband appears to have decided my tics are cute; maybe you could do that for your boyfriend?
posted by Coatlicue at 11:58 AM on May 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
Anyway, I asked my doctor and my psychiatrist about them, and they do not believe I have Tourette's or any other tic-related disorder. They think I'm a relatively normal person with tics. I've had an MRI in the last year, and nothing funky is going on upstairs. Both my doctor and my psychiatrist are competent -- I'd go as far to say my doctor is hypercompetent. I trust their judgement.
I do have an anxiety disorder, and these behaviors do increase when I'm nervous. But not every set of tics warrants a big, weighty diagnosis, in and of themselves. My husband appears to have decided my tics are cute; maybe you could do that for your boyfriend?
posted by Coatlicue at 11:58 AM on May 15, 2012 [2 favorites]
mibo: "... he's probably 100% comfortable around you from the time these "tics" started."
I went to lunch after reading but before answering your question, and mibo saved me from describing how much I might be described like your boyfriend, providing TMI of my own. I'm not saying there 100% isn't a medical issue, but it might just be that he's comfortable around you. I, for one, had no idea how much my hand was near my crotch, like a stereotypical Al Bundy, until it was pointed out by partners (or even, embarassingly, close friends)
Bizarre? Yes, I guess. Not like I am in public or around other people? Certainly. Do I have a diagnosable neuropsychiatric disorder ? Probably not.
I do something similar to the words thing too -- but it's generally not speaking or more sing-song -- a way to fill silences, even if I'm by myself, and definitely, if I'm doing a task that requires attention and manual dexterity. Again, I guess the world at large might call it abnormal. A tic, I suppose, but fortunately, I've found partners who thought it was, at worst, not called for at the time, and at best (and usually), cute.
Again, I think it's fine to keep your eyes and ears open, but it may just be one of those things that you notice because you're living with someone new.
On preview, Coatlicue makes me feel even less freaky :)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:02 PM on May 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
I went to lunch after reading but before answering your question, and mibo saved me from describing how much I might be described like your boyfriend, providing TMI of my own. I'm not saying there 100% isn't a medical issue, but it might just be that he's comfortable around you. I, for one, had no idea how much my hand was near my crotch, like a stereotypical Al Bundy, until it was pointed out by partners (or even, embarassingly, close friends)
Bizarre? Yes, I guess. Not like I am in public or around other people? Certainly. Do I have a diagnosable neuropsychiatric disorder ? Probably not.
I do something similar to the words thing too -- but it's generally not speaking or more sing-song -- a way to fill silences, even if I'm by myself, and definitely, if I'm doing a task that requires attention and manual dexterity. Again, I guess the world at large might call it abnormal. A tic, I suppose, but fortunately, I've found partners who thought it was, at worst, not called for at the time, and at best (and usually), cute.
Again, I think it's fine to keep your eyes and ears open, but it may just be one of those things that you notice because you're living with someone new.
On preview, Coatlicue makes me feel even less freaky :)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:02 PM on May 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
Eh, I mean, I dunno.
On one hand, your question kind of reminded me of this (scroll down to "weird verbal tic" subheader). On the other hand, "Kurosawa" is a fun word to say, and your description doesn't sound as concerning as the one in the Dear Prudence question. (Also, often, when I see my ferret bounce by, I exclaim "kitten!" Though she is neither a kitten nor capable of understanding me. But, acknowledging the presence of your pet seems like a weird, but normal, human thing, and "kitten" is more fun to say, and something I've exclaimed more frequently in the past, because I had cats, so...I'm not worried about it).
And, you know, though I am not an expert on handling my penis, since I don't have one, is it possible the other thing, you know, is just a variation of this? I mean...it's right there. And sometimes it gets bunched in underpants. Such self-groping doesn't seem entirely unheard of. At all.
I guess these behaviors could be indicative of an underlying problem, but if they don't interfere with his life or functioning, then..meh?
posted by vivid postcard at 12:23 PM on May 15, 2012
On one hand, your question kind of reminded me of this (scroll down to "weird verbal tic" subheader). On the other hand, "Kurosawa" is a fun word to say, and your description doesn't sound as concerning as the one in the Dear Prudence question. (Also, often, when I see my ferret bounce by, I exclaim "kitten!" Though she is neither a kitten nor capable of understanding me. But, acknowledging the presence of your pet seems like a weird, but normal, human thing, and "kitten" is more fun to say, and something I've exclaimed more frequently in the past, because I had cats, so...I'm not worried about it).
And, you know, though I am not an expert on handling my penis, since I don't have one, is it possible the other thing, you know, is just a variation of this? I mean...it's right there. And sometimes it gets bunched in underpants. Such self-groping doesn't seem entirely unheard of. At all.
I guess these behaviors could be indicative of an underlying problem, but if they don't interfere with his life or functioning, then..meh?
posted by vivid postcard at 12:23 PM on May 15, 2012
On the one hand, my mother-in-law fills most silences with little snatches of songs and strange singsongs, repetition that is almost like brief chanting, strange words she half made up, and odd baby talk. - but this is because she's spent 50 years of taking care of little children, is idiosyncratic, and has a deeply ingrained habit.
On the other hand, if she spent a lot of time massaging her labia where people could see her, I would definitely wonder about her mental health. I think your boyfriend is getting a pass here because he's a guy, honestly. If nothing else, his habits sound a little weird. I'm not very familiar with this kind of behavior in adults, though. If he were a child I would wonder about autism.
posted by Occula at 12:55 PM on May 15, 2012
On the other hand, if she spent a lot of time massaging her labia where people could see her, I would definitely wonder about her mental health. I think your boyfriend is getting a pass here because he's a guy, honestly. If nothing else, his habits sound a little weird. I'm not very familiar with this kind of behavior in adults, though. If he were a child I would wonder about autism.
posted by Occula at 12:55 PM on May 15, 2012
Most of the men I have dated who were on the AD(H)D spectrum with a smattering of repetitive behavior symptoms have acted in ways similar to this. I think it's worth looking into, not because it's awkward, but because it's often the visible part of the iceberg and underneath there's a significant island of anxiety and/or depression that's driving the tics.
The groping is a sort of self-soothing mechanism. Babies and young children will do it too, and it's probably really not sexual but it IS really self-unaware behavior in an adult. If he needs to self-soothe so compulsively, there's some anxiety that needs to be dealt with. Really, pretty much everything you've described - including almost subconsciously making repetitive pleasing sounds - is a form of anxiety-reduction.
The problem is that these techniques don't scale, and when the anxiety - which is unacknowledged and unmanaged except subconsciously - outgrows the habitual controls you have a person who gets blindsided with no coping mechanisms.
Tourette's has a different architecture, but some overlapping outward symptoms. There's a whole lot of things that would have to be ruled out first before getting to that diagnosis.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:25 PM on May 15, 2012
The groping is a sort of self-soothing mechanism. Babies and young children will do it too, and it's probably really not sexual but it IS really self-unaware behavior in an adult. If he needs to self-soothe so compulsively, there's some anxiety that needs to be dealt with. Really, pretty much everything you've described - including almost subconsciously making repetitive pleasing sounds - is a form of anxiety-reduction.
The problem is that these techniques don't scale, and when the anxiety - which is unacknowledged and unmanaged except subconsciously - outgrows the habitual controls you have a person who gets blindsided with no coping mechanisms.
Tourette's has a different architecture, but some overlapping outward symptoms. There's a whole lot of things that would have to be ruled out first before getting to that diagnosis.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:25 PM on May 15, 2012
Response by poster: So I get the impression that this is not that uncommon and that it's unlikely to be Tourettes. Hopefully, I'll get him to a doctor soon. Still, I think it's weird that he has to pinch his genitals like that. Well thanks for the help!
posted by RapcityinBlue at 2:28 PM on May 15, 2012
posted by RapcityinBlue at 2:28 PM on May 15, 2012
I think there is a big difference between 'he likes to', as you said in the original question, and 'he has to', like you said now. That would be compulsive behavior, is it possible for him to stop it (if you asked him to) or does he feel like he has to do it?
posted by travelwithcats at 3:21 PM on May 15, 2012
posted by travelwithcats at 3:21 PM on May 15, 2012
OP says in her original question:
I've asked him why he does it and he says that its an irrepressible urge that he has sometimes
posted by Wordwoman at 3:37 PM on May 15, 2012
I've asked him why he does it and he says that its an irrepressible urge that he has sometimes
posted by Wordwoman at 3:37 PM on May 15, 2012
So I get the impression that this is not that uncommon and that it's unlikely to be Tourettes. Hopefully, I'll get him to a doctor soon.
Sentence B seems, at best, inconsistent with sentence A.
Let him decide whether this is something he wants to see a doctor about. Unless these tics of his are impacting your quality of life in some way, this decision should really be up to him, not you.
posted by ook at 4:15 PM on May 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
Sentence B seems, at best, inconsistent with sentence A.
Let him decide whether this is something he wants to see a doctor about. Unless these tics of his are impacting your quality of life in some way, this decision should really be up to him, not you.
posted by ook at 4:15 PM on May 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
Following up to say that my tics (that are just like your boyfriend's tics) are pretty compulsive. I definitely get a borderline-irresistible urge to do these things. Doctors still say I don't have a tic disorder. Don't know if this is relevant, but I also have OCD. The compulsions to perform my tics feel nothing like my OCD compulsions, however.
He does not need to see a doctor just for this. He can bring it up, if he wants to, at his next physical.
posted by Coatlicue at 5:07 PM on May 15, 2012
He does not need to see a doctor just for this. He can bring it up, if he wants to, at his next physical.
posted by Coatlicue at 5:07 PM on May 15, 2012
Motor and vocal tics are not all that uncommon, even when they persist into adulthood. Most, when investigated, are considered a normal variation.
What matters, whether it is or is not Tourette's or part of some other neurological or psychological difference, is functionality. Always. In adult medicine, when the patient has the capacity to make decisions about their medical treatment, the patient gets to define that daily functionality. When the patient feels that they are able to do everything it is that they want to do without an impact on that function, treatment of vocal and motor tics isn't only unnecessary, it is an exercise in patient non-compliance because the treatments are either frustrating and disproportionately long term (in the case of behavioral approaches), or come with a lot of side effects (in the case of pharmacological approaches).
I think it is important in life to have a support network of people who care about you and see you everyday so that there are people in your life who can recognize troubling neurological or psychological change so that you can receive help early. But what you described here doesn't sound acute or like a change, it sounds like him; it's been going on for the entire three years you've known him. So--you don't see sudden changes, he is functional, he is not motivated to seek medical treatment for his variation, he isn't hurting himself or others, and the behavior isn't progressive. I've worked with more than a few neurologists, and I have a hard time imagining them getting too excited about this unless your boyfriend wanted to pursue a treatment approach for his own reasons.
In pediatrics, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't see a kiddo with motor and/or vocal tics. I can't think of a single one that is currently receiving treatment. My own kid has a couple that don't interfere with his function, and my husband (kid's dad) has had the same motor tic since childhood and is likewise fine (at one point, he did ask his very talented physician about it who after establishing function, lack of acute change, and lack of progression, told him that tics were the price of doing business with a complex and ever-evolving prefrontal cortex).
I wanted to say, too, that people with tics, even little people, quickly realize that they're not really interested in receiving attention for them. School-age kids will either repress their tic and then tic like the blazes when they are safe at home (leading parents to think that their kid's tic is much worse than it is); or semi-repress their tic by disguising it with something more invisible (my husband's tic involves complicated hand movements, but around public people he, for years, has covered it up with a kind of finger drumming on his lap or a table). The more comfortable and loved and accepted a person feels, the more the tics reveal themselves in private--both in variety and intensity. When I first got to together with my husband, I wouldn't have known he had one--when we moved in together he would sort of do a more dramatic version of his public tic when he was deep in thought. After 15 years together, when that tic comes over him, it's on. In response, I feel smug with my satisfaction of our obviously deep intimacy.
posted by rumposinc at 6:50 PM on May 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
What matters, whether it is or is not Tourette's or part of some other neurological or psychological difference, is functionality. Always. In adult medicine, when the patient has the capacity to make decisions about their medical treatment, the patient gets to define that daily functionality. When the patient feels that they are able to do everything it is that they want to do without an impact on that function, treatment of vocal and motor tics isn't only unnecessary, it is an exercise in patient non-compliance because the treatments are either frustrating and disproportionately long term (in the case of behavioral approaches), or come with a lot of side effects (in the case of pharmacological approaches).
I think it is important in life to have a support network of people who care about you and see you everyday so that there are people in your life who can recognize troubling neurological or psychological change so that you can receive help early. But what you described here doesn't sound acute or like a change, it sounds like him; it's been going on for the entire three years you've known him. So--you don't see sudden changes, he is functional, he is not motivated to seek medical treatment for his variation, he isn't hurting himself or others, and the behavior isn't progressive. I've worked with more than a few neurologists, and I have a hard time imagining them getting too excited about this unless your boyfriend wanted to pursue a treatment approach for his own reasons.
In pediatrics, there isn't a week that goes by that I don't see a kiddo with motor and/or vocal tics. I can't think of a single one that is currently receiving treatment. My own kid has a couple that don't interfere with his function, and my husband (kid's dad) has had the same motor tic since childhood and is likewise fine (at one point, he did ask his very talented physician about it who after establishing function, lack of acute change, and lack of progression, told him that tics were the price of doing business with a complex and ever-evolving prefrontal cortex).
I wanted to say, too, that people with tics, even little people, quickly realize that they're not really interested in receiving attention for them. School-age kids will either repress their tic and then tic like the blazes when they are safe at home (leading parents to think that their kid's tic is much worse than it is); or semi-repress their tic by disguising it with something more invisible (my husband's tic involves complicated hand movements, but around public people he, for years, has covered it up with a kind of finger drumming on his lap or a table). The more comfortable and loved and accepted a person feels, the more the tics reveal themselves in private--both in variety and intensity. When I first got to together with my husband, I wouldn't have known he had one--when we moved in together he would sort of do a more dramatic version of his public tic when he was deep in thought. After 15 years together, when that tic comes over him, it's on. In response, I feel smug with my satisfaction of our obviously deep intimacy.
posted by rumposinc at 6:50 PM on May 15, 2012 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: In response to Ook, what I would like is for him to atleast acknowledge there might be something wrong. If he does have OCD, he should at least know about for his and my sake. Just because it is not Tourettes does not mean it's not strange and perhaps a sign of undealt with psychological issues such as anxiety, a symptom he does exhibit fairly often. If this is OCD, that's fine and we'll deal with it, but I still wish he would see someone about it.
Thanks to everyone for the comments. They've been very helpful. I am a little less worried now.
posted by RapcityinBlue at 9:14 PM on May 15, 2012
Thanks to everyone for the comments. They've been very helpful. I am a little less worried now.
posted by RapcityinBlue at 9:14 PM on May 15, 2012
he also sometimes scrunches up nose or lifts his upper lip to the tip of his nose
Does he wear glasses? I used to do this all the time to shove my glasses up my nose (it was the '70s, glasses were heavy) until some kid teased me and I broke the habit.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:05 AM on May 16, 2012
Does he wear glasses? I used to do this all the time to shove my glasses up my nose (it was the '70s, glasses were heavy) until some kid teased me and I broke the habit.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:05 AM on May 16, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
Is he interested in seeing a doctor? Is he concerned by these issues?
posted by scody at 10:53 AM on May 15, 2012 [3 favorites]