Let's play dress-up!
May 9, 2012 11:26 AM Subscribe
They say to dress to highlight your best attribute...what if you have nothing you want to highlight? What do you wear then, especially if you want to look more feminine?
I am a girl in my late 20s, size 6/8, 5'6''. Pretty average, and not that hard to clothe! But I can't seem to find anything that makes me feel good.
I feel like a composition of discarded body parts. I have a wide neck, very broad shoulders and thick upper arms. Small chest, no waist on a long torso, lumpy hips and short, wide legs. I can't wear most boots my shoe size because my calves are too large.
The result of all of this is that I look like a half-assed drag queen when I wear anything not completely basic and/or remotely feminine, especially with regard to my upper body. Do you look similar to me? What do you wear that makes you feel & look great? What would you suggest for my body type? I don't need to be a fashion plate but I'd like to feel stylish and, if possible, sexy.
Please don't say "just be confident!" I'm trying, but I am really looking for apparel suggestions.
I am a girl in my late 20s, size 6/8, 5'6''. Pretty average, and not that hard to clothe! But I can't seem to find anything that makes me feel good.
I feel like a composition of discarded body parts. I have a wide neck, very broad shoulders and thick upper arms. Small chest, no waist on a long torso, lumpy hips and short, wide legs. I can't wear most boots my shoe size because my calves are too large.
The result of all of this is that I look like a half-assed drag queen when I wear anything not completely basic and/or remotely feminine, especially with regard to my upper body. Do you look similar to me? What do you wear that makes you feel & look great? What would you suggest for my body type? I don't need to be a fashion plate but I'd like to feel stylish and, if possible, sexy.
Please don't say "just be confident!" I'm trying, but I am really looking for apparel suggestions.
Boots: There are lots of wider-calf boots out there! Zappos will let you sort boots by calf size - they have both wide and extra wide. I loooove boots myself.
You have a really different body type than I do, so I'll let others chime in with clothing suggestions.
posted by insectosaurus at 11:30 AM on May 9, 2012
You have a really different body type than I do, so I'll let others chime in with clothing suggestions.
posted by insectosaurus at 11:30 AM on May 9, 2012
An open neckline highlighting the clavicle and upper chest area is flattering on everyone. EVERYONE, I TELL YOU. Betcha can't prove me wrong.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:31 AM on May 9, 2012 [9 favorites]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:31 AM on May 9, 2012 [9 favorites]
Have you tried on something like a skirt with some flare to it and a tucked in shirt? I have a friend who has a similar body type as you, and she looks good in this sort of outfit. It makes her waist seem more defined and the flare in the skirt balances her bottom half with her top half (and also flatters her legs).
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:34 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:34 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I think TPS might be right. Also try wearing very full skirts. That will camouflage lumpy hips and the short and wideness of your legs, while also nicely contrasting with your torso. (And not showing that you have no waist).
posted by bluefly at 11:37 AM on May 9, 2012
posted by bluefly at 11:37 AM on May 9, 2012
Belts are a sure-fire way to add definition to your waist. You could also try wrap dresses for the same effect, maybe one that hits just above the knee (with a wider skirt as noted above). I know pointy-toed shoes aren't quite the rage they were a few years ago, but they definitely help elongate your legs. I would definitely avoid any shoes with straps, especially around the ankles, as those will make your legs look cut off and shorter (which seems like what you want to avoid). A nice rounded-toe ballet flat is flattering on most everyone, I think.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 11:40 AM on May 9, 2012
posted by DiscourseMarker at 11:40 AM on May 9, 2012
Good underwear will perk up your chest (making you look like you have a waist) and smooth your hips.
Also wrap dresses. They look great on athletic builds, which is the key word you should search under for looks online. (boyish means very lean).
posted by fshgrl at 11:42 AM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]
Also wrap dresses. They look great on athletic builds, which is the key word you should search under for looks online. (boyish means very lean).
posted by fshgrl at 11:42 AM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]
I feel like a composition of discarded body parts. I have a wide neck, very broad shoulders and thick upper arms. Small chest, no waist on a long torso, lumpy hips and short, wide legs. I can't wear most boots my shoe size because my calves are too large.
I think when you look in a mirror, you are not seeing what other people see. So I think you're taking the right approach in asking other people what you should try, but you need to do it in person so that someone (with some style skills) is seeing you through less biased eyes (ie not yours), and you shouldn't mention your view of your body, just ask simply what are your best features and how do you work with them.
posted by -harlequin- at 11:43 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
I think when you look in a mirror, you are not seeing what other people see. So I think you're taking the right approach in asking other people what you should try, but you need to do it in person so that someone (with some style skills) is seeing you through less biased eyes (ie not yours), and you shouldn't mention your view of your body, just ask simply what are your best features and how do you work with them.
posted by -harlequin- at 11:43 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
I have some similarities to you: I'm also 5'6", about a size 6/8 depending on the store/designer, have broad shoulders but a small chest (I'm a 38B), and lumpy hips (I have a high hip shelf that juts out abruptly just below my belly button, then a second hip curve where most women are widest at the top of my thighs).
These are things that have worked for me:
- Boat necks and scoop necks. They highlight the clavicle and upper chest, which as TPS has already pointed out is almost universally flattering. A shallow V-neck also works OK and lengthens the neck. Deep V-necks, on the other hand, only seem to emphasize my flat chest, although at least I can wear them without revealing too much cleavage (none to reveal!).
- Belted dresses. I have a waist, but don't have a nice, round hip curve, so nothing clingy works on me. Belted dresses have helped me create a nice shape by smoothing out my lumpy hip and giving the appearance of a small waist. Avoid anything tight or clingy.
- Low-vamp shoes, especially heels. A low-vamp shoe will visually lengthen your leg. I would never wear a high-vamp shoe with any dress or skirt that hits at or below the knee.
- Darker colors will visually minimize body parts that you feel are too large for your frame. In your case, you could layer a darker-toned cardigan over a belted dress.
- A-line skirts and dresses. I don't know exactly what you mean by "lumpy hips," but if they're anything like mine (two "curves" - a high hip shelf, then a normal low hip curve) full skirts will make your hips appear very wide. I have found that A-line skirts that are not clingy work much better for my frame. They smooth my awkward hip curves without making me look too wide.
- Wrap tops and dresses, as long as they don't hit at the hip. These help create a waist and are also flattering for a small chest. They also visually break up a long torso.
posted by pecanpies at 11:44 AM on May 9, 2012 [8 favorites]
These are things that have worked for me:
- Boat necks and scoop necks. They highlight the clavicle and upper chest, which as TPS has already pointed out is almost universally flattering. A shallow V-neck also works OK and lengthens the neck. Deep V-necks, on the other hand, only seem to emphasize my flat chest, although at least I can wear them without revealing too much cleavage (none to reveal!).
- Belted dresses. I have a waist, but don't have a nice, round hip curve, so nothing clingy works on me. Belted dresses have helped me create a nice shape by smoothing out my lumpy hip and giving the appearance of a small waist. Avoid anything tight or clingy.
- Low-vamp shoes, especially heels. A low-vamp shoe will visually lengthen your leg. I would never wear a high-vamp shoe with any dress or skirt that hits at or below the knee.
- Darker colors will visually minimize body parts that you feel are too large for your frame. In your case, you could layer a darker-toned cardigan over a belted dress.
- A-line skirts and dresses. I don't know exactly what you mean by "lumpy hips," but if they're anything like mine (two "curves" - a high hip shelf, then a normal low hip curve) full skirts will make your hips appear very wide. I have found that A-line skirts that are not clingy work much better for my frame. They smooth my awkward hip curves without making me look too wide.
- Wrap tops and dresses, as long as they don't hit at the hip. These help create a waist and are also flattering for a small chest. They also visually break up a long torso.
posted by pecanpies at 11:44 AM on May 9, 2012 [8 favorites]
Ah, hit enter too soon!
A couple more ideas:
- Avoid any kind of detail at the shoulder if you feel they are too broad for your frame. Ruffles, pop-cap sleeves, etc. will emphasize the width of your shoulders.
- I know I mentioned belts before, but wanted to clarify that a wide belt in particular can really visually break up the appearance of a long torso. You might need to play around with different widths as well as where exactly the belt is positioned. Wide belts don't work too well for me because of the high hip shelf, so if that's an issue for you, too, you'll probably need a thinner belt. I have a longish torso also though and find that a brightly colored belt over a more neutral dress (e.g., a bright blue belt over a black & white polka dot dress) is very effective at visually shortening the torso.
Finally, this blog is a fabulous source of tips and advice for dressing your body shape. Click the "Body Proportions," "Body Variations," and "Body Shapes" headings in blue at the top of the page and search through some of the information there. It's a goldmine.
posted by pecanpies at 11:53 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
A couple more ideas:
- Avoid any kind of detail at the shoulder if you feel they are too broad for your frame. Ruffles, pop-cap sleeves, etc. will emphasize the width of your shoulders.
- I know I mentioned belts before, but wanted to clarify that a wide belt in particular can really visually break up the appearance of a long torso. You might need to play around with different widths as well as where exactly the belt is positioned. Wide belts don't work too well for me because of the high hip shelf, so if that's an issue for you, too, you'll probably need a thinner belt. I have a longish torso also though and find that a brightly colored belt over a more neutral dress (e.g., a bright blue belt over a black & white polka dot dress) is very effective at visually shortening the torso.
Finally, this blog is a fabulous source of tips and advice for dressing your body shape. Click the "Body Proportions," "Body Variations," and "Body Shapes" headings in blue at the top of the page and search through some of the information there. It's a goldmine.
posted by pecanpies at 11:53 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
You've already got some great advice on apparel shapes and styles that will work (especially in pecanpies' comments), but I want to recommend getting some fabulous accessories. I swear I could be wearing leggings and a black tunic but if I'm wearing huge earrings or necklace, a large shiny purse, and funky/attention grabbing shoes, everyone thinks I look great. Is this an option for you? For summer, you could wear a dress like this (the side ruching would be super flattering), heels like this, maybe a purse like this one, and a huge pair of hoops like this, maybe.
I think if you start with a basic foundation of things that you feel comfortable wearing, even if it's just dark wash jeans and a black boat-neck top, and add visual interest with fun, dramatic accessories, you can really up the ante with feminine and sexy.
posted by stellaluna at 12:04 PM on May 9, 2012
I think if you start with a basic foundation of things that you feel comfortable wearing, even if it's just dark wash jeans and a black boat-neck top, and add visual interest with fun, dramatic accessories, you can really up the ante with feminine and sexy.
posted by stellaluna at 12:04 PM on May 9, 2012
This is maybe not a real answer to your question, but it's something I'm working out for myself right now.
So, I feel like I have thick ankles. Frankly, I do have thick ankles, though sometimes friends insist that I don't out of kindness. Right now, fashion is all about shoes with ankle straps and high vamps, ankle-length pants, skinny jeans, and other trends that are designed to show off lovely thin ankles. Which I don't have.
Sometimes I feel like there's nothing I can wear on the bottom half of my body that would be both fashion-forward and flattering.
And then it hit me. How often do I notice some other woman out in public and think, "omigod, look at her hideous cankles! HOW DARE SHE wear those gladiator sandals? Doesn't she know she looks terrible??" Never. I never think that at all.
I never notice other women's physical traits and whether their clothes are flattering or not. And I'd bet serious money that men don't even know what a scoop neck is or what lumpy hips look like, let alone care. I'd also bet money that exactly zero people look at you and think, "wow, she looks like a failed drag queen," or whatever it is you're worried about.
I know you said that you want to feel good about the way you look, and "get more confident" is not what you're looking for. But really, I think this is key. Get outside the "figure flattering" conversation. Buy clothes that you love and feel comfortable in. Nobody is going around taking neck measurements. The fashion police do not exist.
Oh, and a shred of more practical advice: get outside your comfort zone in the dressing room. For years I would not even try strapless dresses or tops, because I was convinced I was too flat chested to pull them off. I recently had to go shopping for a dress to wear to an event, and out of the 10 dresses I pulled, I decided to go out on a limb and try one strapless one. I told myself I was JUST TESTING. It turned out to be my favorite one. Even though it was way out of my comfort zone and theoretically something that shouldn't flatter my figure. Who knew?
posted by Sara C. at 12:10 PM on May 9, 2012 [12 favorites]
So, I feel like I have thick ankles. Frankly, I do have thick ankles, though sometimes friends insist that I don't out of kindness. Right now, fashion is all about shoes with ankle straps and high vamps, ankle-length pants, skinny jeans, and other trends that are designed to show off lovely thin ankles. Which I don't have.
Sometimes I feel like there's nothing I can wear on the bottom half of my body that would be both fashion-forward and flattering.
And then it hit me. How often do I notice some other woman out in public and think, "omigod, look at her hideous cankles! HOW DARE SHE wear those gladiator sandals? Doesn't she know she looks terrible??" Never. I never think that at all.
I never notice other women's physical traits and whether their clothes are flattering or not. And I'd bet serious money that men don't even know what a scoop neck is or what lumpy hips look like, let alone care. I'd also bet money that exactly zero people look at you and think, "wow, she looks like a failed drag queen," or whatever it is you're worried about.
I know you said that you want to feel good about the way you look, and "get more confident" is not what you're looking for. But really, I think this is key. Get outside the "figure flattering" conversation. Buy clothes that you love and feel comfortable in. Nobody is going around taking neck measurements. The fashion police do not exist.
Oh, and a shred of more practical advice: get outside your comfort zone in the dressing room. For years I would not even try strapless dresses or tops, because I was convinced I was too flat chested to pull them off. I recently had to go shopping for a dress to wear to an event, and out of the 10 dresses I pulled, I decided to go out on a limb and try one strapless one. I told myself I was JUST TESTING. It turned out to be my favorite one. Even though it was way out of my comfort zone and theoretically something that shouldn't flatter my figure. Who knew?
posted by Sara C. at 12:10 PM on May 9, 2012 [12 favorites]
Are you happy with your hair? Great hair = confidence!
posted by Dragonness at 12:20 PM on May 9, 2012
posted by Dragonness at 12:20 PM on May 9, 2012
Look at what professional athletes wear. The Williams sisters, for instance, though they have long legs. Agree that a flared skirt is always good for people wanting to make their waists look narrower. A simple shoe with a bit of a heel and no ankle strap will lengthen the line of your leg. Avoid wearing choker-style necklaces if you don't want to emphasize your neck; a lower neckline with a little ruffling or embroidery will draw the eye and make the line of your neck seem longer.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:27 PM on May 9, 2012
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:27 PM on May 9, 2012
One last thought: I kept thinking about how you'd mentioned you feel you don't have anything to highlight. I've also felt this way. I don't feel unattractive, but I also don't feel I have any areas to highlight that really stand out or are particularly beautiful. I feel generally average: average bust, average waist, average legs, etc. What I do is take pride in a flattering, pulled-together outfit that I feel confident in. Many people have killer legs, a tiny waist, or a beautiful bust due mostly to genetics. On the other hand, a gorgeous, cute, attractive outfit is something I created myself. This isn't at all to slight those with beautiful bodies, just to point out that we all can have something to take pride in, whether it's a body part or our personal creativity.
posted by pecanpies at 12:37 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by pecanpies at 12:37 PM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
I have some of your same considerations, but on a plus-size lady frame. Here are some things I do:
-Long/large/otherwise fun earrings. I make them a centerpiece of my outfit, partially because I have short hair and my ears are always visible, but mostly because I want to draw attention to my face, not my stumpy neck.
-I have big upper arms and brawny shoulders too, and am trying to get more comfortable exposing them. Honestly, I feel like you gotta fake it until you make it here. I don't wear anything too narrow-strapped, because the contrast of the skinny straps and my big shoulders makes the shoulders look even bigger. Wider, bra-friendly straps (like those on a standard, non-spaghetti-strapped tank) are your friends, as are scoop necks. Here's a warm-weather outfit idea - a nice, wide-strapped tank, a cool belt, an A-line knee-length skirt, and sandals. Super fancy!
-Nthing getting the best bra you can afford. I have enormous gazongas, but a good bra is pretty critical for any lady who wants her bustral region to look its best. ukdanae has some amazing bra-shopping advice, and Nordstrom has a generally good reputation for being good bra fitters. A well-fitting bra will help give you a waist!
-For short legs, I like wearing dresses and belting them a little bit high, like here. See how her legs look ten miles long? It's because you can't tell where her torso stops and her legs begin. You don't have to wear a maxi dress for this to work - I wear knee-length dresses almost exclusively.
-Boots! I have 21-inch calves, which are utterly titanic by lady leg standards, and I have big feet, but I still find boots. Duo sells boots by calf size, as do lots of places - I get my boots from WideWidths.com, but you probably don't need calf sizes that large.
[Also, it bears mentioning - I know what you look like, and I think you're a) lovely and b) one of my favorite-dressed people. Perceptions are funny things!]
posted by timetoevolve at 12:40 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
-Long/large/otherwise fun earrings. I make them a centerpiece of my outfit, partially because I have short hair and my ears are always visible, but mostly because I want to draw attention to my face, not my stumpy neck.
-I have big upper arms and brawny shoulders too, and am trying to get more comfortable exposing them. Honestly, I feel like you gotta fake it until you make it here. I don't wear anything too narrow-strapped, because the contrast of the skinny straps and my big shoulders makes the shoulders look even bigger. Wider, bra-friendly straps (like those on a standard, non-spaghetti-strapped tank) are your friends, as are scoop necks. Here's a warm-weather outfit idea - a nice, wide-strapped tank, a cool belt, an A-line knee-length skirt, and sandals. Super fancy!
-Nthing getting the best bra you can afford. I have enormous gazongas, but a good bra is pretty critical for any lady who wants her bustral region to look its best. ukdanae has some amazing bra-shopping advice, and Nordstrom has a generally good reputation for being good bra fitters. A well-fitting bra will help give you a waist!
-For short legs, I like wearing dresses and belting them a little bit high, like here. See how her legs look ten miles long? It's because you can't tell where her torso stops and her legs begin. You don't have to wear a maxi dress for this to work - I wear knee-length dresses almost exclusively.
-Boots! I have 21-inch calves, which are utterly titanic by lady leg standards, and I have big feet, but I still find boots. Duo sells boots by calf size, as do lots of places - I get my boots from WideWidths.com, but you probably don't need calf sizes that large.
[Also, it bears mentioning - I know what you look like, and I think you're a) lovely and b) one of my favorite-dressed people. Perceptions are funny things!]
posted by timetoevolve at 12:40 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
Pick up a copy of David Kibbe's "Metamorphosis". Do the exercises and find your "type". It will change your life.
Best of luck.
posted by Michele in California at 12:45 PM on May 9, 2012
Best of luck.
posted by Michele in California at 12:45 PM on May 9, 2012
I just want to point out that there is NO WAY you are seeing yourself the way others see you, given the measurements you've given us. A 5'6" woman at size 6/8 is slender. All the "wide" bits you are seeing cannot possibly actually be objectively wide.
In general: some height on the heel always looks good if you can handle it. Even 1.5 inches makes a difference in posture, confidence and proportions - consider wedges if you don't like regular heels. Wrap dresses and tops. Supportive bras help everyone. V-necks help a thick neck; avoid crew necks. Make sure your pants are long enough (half an inch from the ground with your shoes ON - I'm embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to figure this out - it makes a world of difference.)
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:57 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
In general: some height on the heel always looks good if you can handle it. Even 1.5 inches makes a difference in posture, confidence and proportions - consider wedges if you don't like regular heels. Wrap dresses and tops. Supportive bras help everyone. V-necks help a thick neck; avoid crew necks. Make sure your pants are long enough (half an inch from the ground with your shoes ON - I'm embarrassed to tell you how long it took me to figure this out - it makes a world of difference.)
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:57 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
Have you tried princess-seam dresses? The way the center panel is cut wide at the chest, narrow at the waist, then flaring wide from the hip into the skirt tends to fool the eye into seeing a may more hourglass figure than the person wearing it actually has. It works for me; but most of my hip weight is settled pretty low; if you have a sharp waist-to-hip shelf, it might not sit well. But the important thing is to try it! As you say, "let's play dress-up!" so find a shop and pull things off the rack.
If you like that, look for button shirts that have similar use of seams for a flared-fit shape; you can wear those untucked.
Another shirt neckline you might like is the sweetheart neckline - basically a deep square, with a slight V or double-scallop shape that accentuates the fact that you have two breasts, and ideally the sides of the neckline are slightly in-sloped, so that it's a wider opening across the pecs than as it approaches collarbone and neck.
Does this sound totally opposite of the previous boatneck suggestion? Maybe so, doesn't mean either of us is wrong. A lot of different things can look good. Think of it like wine-tasting: the bottle might say "notes of chocolate and plum" but the real question is not whether you like plums but whether you like the wine. We're suggesting different types of clothing, and saying "shape X will complement bodypart Z" when all I really mean is that I'm trying to make the kind of dresses I like sound appealing, and like the kind of thing you should try on, and that I hope you'll like it. And we're trying to suggest things that aren't the standard shape, because non-standard shapes are more likely to make one feel "dressed". Would anybody look at you and say "my goodness, the reverse flare of that neckline puts the visual weight lower on the chest, thus counterbalancing the size of those honking wide shoulders!"? No, that's not the goal at all. The goal is for you to find something you like, and maybe even make a mental note of why you think you look good in it, which will help you find more items that work that same concept.
posted by aimedwander at 1:26 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
If you like that, look for button shirts that have similar use of seams for a flared-fit shape; you can wear those untucked.
Another shirt neckline you might like is the sweetheart neckline - basically a deep square, with a slight V or double-scallop shape that accentuates the fact that you have two breasts, and ideally the sides of the neckline are slightly in-sloped, so that it's a wider opening across the pecs than as it approaches collarbone and neck.
Does this sound totally opposite of the previous boatneck suggestion? Maybe so, doesn't mean either of us is wrong. A lot of different things can look good. Think of it like wine-tasting: the bottle might say "notes of chocolate and plum" but the real question is not whether you like plums but whether you like the wine. We're suggesting different types of clothing, and saying "shape X will complement bodypart Z" when all I really mean is that I'm trying to make the kind of dresses I like sound appealing, and like the kind of thing you should try on, and that I hope you'll like it. And we're trying to suggest things that aren't the standard shape, because non-standard shapes are more likely to make one feel "dressed". Would anybody look at you and say "my goodness, the reverse flare of that neckline puts the visual weight lower on the chest, thus counterbalancing the size of those honking wide shoulders!"? No, that's not the goal at all. The goal is for you to find something you like, and maybe even make a mental note of why you think you look good in it, which will help you find more items that work that same concept.
posted by aimedwander at 1:26 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
If you have a friend who dresses nicely and will be honest, try taking them shopping with you. I went shopping with such a friend recently and look a million times better for trying new and different things that she (rightly) realized would flatter my figure. I tried on a Ton of stuff, but we got really good at finding flattering items by the end of the day.
posted by ldthomps at 2:35 PM on May 9, 2012
posted by ldthomps at 2:35 PM on May 9, 2012
I feel like a composition of discarded body parts.
Although this response has nothing to do with fashion, yoga and weightlifting will help tremendously in overcoming this feeling.
Otherwise, nthing a good bra and hair you love! Most people's best feature are their eyes, so think about clothing colors to flatter yours, or eye makeup if you are so inclined.
posted by jgirl at 3:28 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
"wide neck" - eh? It's not wider than your head, is it? I think you mean "short neck"? For that, you wear low necklines. A collared shirt with the collar turned up is also good.
"very broad shoulders" = broader than your hips? And big arms? If so, always wear sleeves that are at least elbow-length or so, and flared/wide cuffs too. There should be some feature at the shoulders - colours, seams, or lines - that draw the eye inwards rather than outwards. If you didn't have big arms, I'd say a sleeveless vest, because that always has the effect of narrowing the shoulders. But you do, so. For an example of what I'm getting at, think: shirt, with full-length sleeves and collar turned up and the buttons undone as far down as decent, and a knitted v-neck sleeveless tank layered over that.
No waist - look for things that cinch the waist or have lines that go inwards towards the waist. A wrap style is good, as is a top that's loose around the bust and snug, maybe even boned/corseted, below that.
"long torso" - that's exactly the same as having short legs, but, visually shortening your torso will make your legs appear longer. That means two tops layered - so that you have two horizontal lines going across - will do the job. Especially since you have wide hips, make sure the darker colour is the bottom layer.
Small chest... eh, I could go on, but you know what the simplest thing will be? Buy a copy of "What Not To Wear: The Rules" by Trinny and Susannah, go through it, and for each feature, cross out the ones that are RECOMMENDED for one feature that applies to you but FORBIDDEN in another. What you have left will be what you can wear successfully.
To absorb the lessons, try going through all your (for example) tops and wearing all the ones that are supposed to be terrible for a short neck, and then wear all the ones that are supposed to be great for a short neck (focusing only on the neck). Then do the same with another feature. Then start combining features.
posted by tel3path at 3:36 PM on May 9, 2012
"very broad shoulders" = broader than your hips? And big arms? If so, always wear sleeves that are at least elbow-length or so, and flared/wide cuffs too. There should be some feature at the shoulders - colours, seams, or lines - that draw the eye inwards rather than outwards. If you didn't have big arms, I'd say a sleeveless vest, because that always has the effect of narrowing the shoulders. But you do, so. For an example of what I'm getting at, think: shirt, with full-length sleeves and collar turned up and the buttons undone as far down as decent, and a knitted v-neck sleeveless tank layered over that.
No waist - look for things that cinch the waist or have lines that go inwards towards the waist. A wrap style is good, as is a top that's loose around the bust and snug, maybe even boned/corseted, below that.
"long torso" - that's exactly the same as having short legs, but, visually shortening your torso will make your legs appear longer. That means two tops layered - so that you have two horizontal lines going across - will do the job. Especially since you have wide hips, make sure the darker colour is the bottom layer.
Small chest... eh, I could go on, but you know what the simplest thing will be? Buy a copy of "What Not To Wear: The Rules" by Trinny and Susannah, go through it, and for each feature, cross out the ones that are RECOMMENDED for one feature that applies to you but FORBIDDEN in another. What you have left will be what you can wear successfully.
To absorb the lessons, try going through all your (for example) tops and wearing all the ones that are supposed to be terrible for a short neck, and then wear all the ones that are supposed to be great for a short neck (focusing only on the neck). Then do the same with another feature. Then start combining features.
posted by tel3path at 3:36 PM on May 9, 2012
Also, please make sure you do in fact have the features you think you have.
If your legs (from crotch to floor) are less than four times the length of your head, then they are short. If your rise (from crotch to waist) is more than one head length, then it is long.
If your waist is less than 25% narrower than your hips, then it is a bit wide. If your hips and your shoulder circumference are not within 5% of each other, one of those features is wide.
It's just really easy to misjudge this stuff by eye. I used to think I had no waist, when in fact my waist-hip ratio is 0.73. So there you are.
posted by tel3path at 3:40 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
If your legs (from crotch to floor) are less than four times the length of your head, then they are short. If your rise (from crotch to waist) is more than one head length, then it is long.
If your waist is less than 25% narrower than your hips, then it is a bit wide. If your hips and your shoulder circumference are not within 5% of each other, one of those features is wide.
It's just really easy to misjudge this stuff by eye. I used to think I had no waist, when in fact my waist-hip ratio is 0.73. So there you are.
posted by tel3path at 3:40 PM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]
The main thing that makes me look at another woman and think 'damn, she looks great!' is colour. You may have nothing 'special' about you (though I doubt it), but if you find a colour that really works on you, it will make you pop or make you feel like you pop which is kind of the same thing.
For example, there's this grey-blue colour that is really hard to find, but when I do, it makes my eyes stand out. Or, I wear a red-orange-gold-green scarf (I hate orange) all the time that my friend bought me and all that colour against my face and over my normally black or grey outfit, really makes me look good? Noticeable anyway. Oh, and I have this fabulous watch that has a face that looks like a modern painting in pink and green and teal with a really geometric bold pattern. I get so many comments on that watch. All of these things make me feel great about what I look like, like I've taken my normal look and just upped it into something interesting and me.
So colour.
And try a scarf - it add some volume to your top half and you can get a really great colour that compliments your colouring. I'd recommend something really patterned because then you'll get a range of colours you can wear it with.
Or go with an accessory that's totally outside the colours you normally wear. Like I wear, as I said, a lot of blacks, white, greys, over into blues. Bright pink and bright green accessories work really well. Or if you wear earth tones, maybe go for something bright green or yellow or blue.
posted by hydrobatidae at 3:42 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
For example, there's this grey-blue colour that is really hard to find, but when I do, it makes my eyes stand out. Or, I wear a red-orange-gold-green scarf (I hate orange) all the time that my friend bought me and all that colour against my face and over my normally black or grey outfit, really makes me look good? Noticeable anyway. Oh, and I have this fabulous watch that has a face that looks like a modern painting in pink and green and teal with a really geometric bold pattern. I get so many comments on that watch. All of these things make me feel great about what I look like, like I've taken my normal look and just upped it into something interesting and me.
So colour.
And try a scarf - it add some volume to your top half and you can get a really great colour that compliments your colouring. I'd recommend something really patterned because then you'll get a range of colours you can wear it with.
Or go with an accessory that's totally outside the colours you normally wear. Like I wear, as I said, a lot of blacks, white, greys, over into blues. Bright pink and bright green accessories work really well. Or if you wear earth tones, maybe go for something bright green or yellow or blue.
posted by hydrobatidae at 3:42 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
Count me as part of the there is no way you look bad with the measurements you've given us - I do recommend going to a department store personal shopper for your own personal "what not to wear" lesson - I have a friend who did this and she's soo well dressed with little effort on her part (and she doesn't have the great measurements you do) - she did Macy's, but a lot of stores offer this service. Good luck!
posted by cestmoi15 at 3:42 PM on May 9, 2012
posted by cestmoi15 at 3:42 PM on May 9, 2012
Hi body twin! I am built kind of like you (5'6 shaped like a rectangle with tiny boobs, yup), and I too look like an awkward dork in anything frilly and 'feminine' - so for me, it's about feeling feminine on my own terms, which is kind of a work in progress but what isn't?
What worked for me was to find the biggest mall and try on everything, even the ridiculous stuff. You will look ridiculous in some things. This is inevitable, so try not to let it get to you - but now you know, and you can move on to the next piece. Sometimes things that look like they'd never, ever work for you on the hanger turn out looking fantastic. I once found a pencil skirt that looks good this way - I'd have never tried it on based on what people told me would look good on me, but I gave it a try based on the 'hurr hurr let's try this on for lolz' schtick and it paid off. Don't give up - clothes shopping is often annoying, aggravating and depressing but I promise you there are clothes out there that will make you feel and look awesome. And if all else fails: stompy boots, low-cut tank and a leather jacket.
Good luck!
posted by zennish at 8:17 PM on May 9, 2012
What worked for me was to find the biggest mall and try on everything, even the ridiculous stuff. You will look ridiculous in some things. This is inevitable, so try not to let it get to you - but now you know, and you can move on to the next piece. Sometimes things that look like they'd never, ever work for you on the hanger turn out looking fantastic. I once found a pencil skirt that looks good this way - I'd have never tried it on based on what people told me would look good on me, but I gave it a try based on the 'hurr hurr let's try this on for lolz' schtick and it paid off. Don't give up - clothes shopping is often annoying, aggravating and depressing but I promise you there are clothes out there that will make you feel and look awesome. And if all else fails: stompy boots, low-cut tank and a leather jacket.
Good luck!
posted by zennish at 8:17 PM on May 9, 2012
apologies if I got this all wrong, but are you similarly shaped to this guest of "TLC's What Not to Wear"?
if so, there are some tips and photos that might help.
Or maybe ask a friend to help you find photos of women with your same general shape.
it might help you visualize how they are "getting it right" so you can translate that to your own wardrobe.
posted by calgirl at 10:17 PM on May 9, 2012
if so, there are some tips and photos that might help.
Or maybe ask a friend to help you find photos of women with your same general shape.
it might help you visualize how they are "getting it right" so you can translate that to your own wardrobe.
posted by calgirl at 10:17 PM on May 9, 2012
First off, I totally agree with Fingersandtoes that, from the information you've given here, there's no way your thick/wide parts are as thick and wide as you think they are. Nevertheless, this about making you feel good... not telling you you're wrong for feeling the way you do.
PecanPies' bit about crafting an outfit to be proud of rather than just relying on genetics is a good one. As is Zennish's advice about trying *everything* on.
If that feels a bit daunting, why not start with one great outfit? Like calgirl, I think What Not To Wear is a probably a good resource. An outfit they seem to recommend for everyone is dark wash jeans, a cute feminine top (often sheer, silk, patterned, some detailing), some kind of light jacket/blazer, flats or low heels, and accessories. Usually, the jeans are slim cut or trouser cut, which balances you out; the blouse is flowy/drapey/sometimes longish and camoflaging; the jacket adds structure; and then the accessories make you look put together. It's a great "polished casual" look because it's appropriate in almost every situation, especially if you swap out the jeans for black pants. Why not head to a large mall and try to assemble your version of that outfit? There are many examples on the What Not To Wear site that Calgirl linked to that you can look at for inspiration.
posted by lalalana at 12:39 AM on May 10, 2012 [1 favorite]
PecanPies' bit about crafting an outfit to be proud of rather than just relying on genetics is a good one. As is Zennish's advice about trying *everything* on.
If that feels a bit daunting, why not start with one great outfit? Like calgirl, I think What Not To Wear is a probably a good resource. An outfit they seem to recommend for everyone is dark wash jeans, a cute feminine top (often sheer, silk, patterned, some detailing), some kind of light jacket/blazer, flats or low heels, and accessories. Usually, the jeans are slim cut or trouser cut, which balances you out; the blouse is flowy/drapey/sometimes longish and camoflaging; the jacket adds structure; and then the accessories make you look put together. It's a great "polished casual" look because it's appropriate in almost every situation, especially if you swap out the jeans for black pants. Why not head to a large mall and try to assemble your version of that outfit? There are many examples on the What Not To Wear site that Calgirl linked to that you can look at for inspiration.
posted by lalalana at 12:39 AM on May 10, 2012 [1 favorite]
I apologize for the probing, but eh you know. Internet. Anyway! From what I saw on your Flickr I'd definitely say you have a waist and your neck doesn't look wide at all. There was a photo of someone, which I think is you, in a pant suit and you look great. Good advice up thread but I see no hint of a half-assed drag queen.
posted by DeltaForce at 9:48 PM on May 10, 2012
posted by DeltaForce at 9:48 PM on May 10, 2012
Response by poster: Delta- those are quite old. I have put on a bunch of weight since those were taken!
Thank you, everyone! Now I'm actually looking forward to something I generally loathe: shopping!
posted by troika at 11:15 PM on May 10, 2012
Thank you, everyone! Now I'm actually looking forward to something I generally loathe: shopping!
posted by troika at 11:15 PM on May 10, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by mercredi at 11:28 AM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]