Who do I deal with an over-zealous teammate?
April 21, 2012 3:40 PM Subscribe
I am dealing with an over-zealous teammate. Advice? Details inside.
Graduate student here, working on a project with 3 classmates. I am having an issue with one of my teammates in regards to their insistence on "helping." Additionally, she has a tendency to insert herself in a project manager role. While at times helpful, her behavior crosses a line into micromanaging and meddling.
Three times within the past week she has aggressively lobbied to take over a specific task I am researching and implementing.
The first two times were in person. Being diplomatic about it, I said if she wants to work along with me and another teammate, great. That was met with "I know you're busy, you can hand it over and I can take of it." I said thanks, but no thanks.
That same night she emails me (none of my group members were CC'd) and insists I hand over the task to her and another teammate, because she's afraid "I am sacrificing too much for the project." I did not reply.
The next morning we have a group meeting. She brought up my assigned task, and it transpired like so:
Jane: Can we talk about XYZ task?
Bob: Sure, let's discuss it. What is the reason why you and Kim should work on it, versus Kim and I working on it?
Jane: I know you have a lot to do for this project.
Bob: It's ok. I like to think I am capable of managing my time. (said in a reproachful manner)
Jane: I was just trying to help!
While it appears she got the point that I was displeased with her constant pressuring, I didn't outright say "stop". In the moment I didn't think rebuking her in public would help the situation. However, I feel her behavior should be addressed.
Advice?
Graduate student here, working on a project with 3 classmates. I am having an issue with one of my teammates in regards to their insistence on "helping." Additionally, she has a tendency to insert herself in a project manager role. While at times helpful, her behavior crosses a line into micromanaging and meddling.
Three times within the past week she has aggressively lobbied to take over a specific task I am researching and implementing.
The first two times were in person. Being diplomatic about it, I said if she wants to work along with me and another teammate, great. That was met with "I know you're busy, you can hand it over and I can take of it." I said thanks, but no thanks.
That same night she emails me (none of my group members were CC'd) and insists I hand over the task to her and another teammate, because she's afraid "I am sacrificing too much for the project." I did not reply.
The next morning we have a group meeting. She brought up my assigned task, and it transpired like so:
Jane: Can we talk about XYZ task?
Bob: Sure, let's discuss it. What is the reason why you and Kim should work on it, versus Kim and I working on it?
Jane: I know you have a lot to do for this project.
Bob: It's ok. I like to think I am capable of managing my time. (said in a reproachful manner)
Jane: I was just trying to help!
While it appears she got the point that I was displeased with her constant pressuring, I didn't outright say "stop". In the moment I didn't think rebuking her in public would help the situation. However, I feel her behavior should be addressed.
Advice?
Make sure you're in good communication with the other teammate about the project, too (and I don't mean just about Jane). Don't let yourself be isolated by Jane's behavior just because you feel under siege.
If Jane is jumpy, perhaps it's because she doesn't have enough to do. Try suggesting a role for her that she can perform.
posted by zippy at 3:51 PM on April 21, 2012
If Jane is jumpy, perhaps it's because she doesn't have enough to do. Try suggesting a role for her that she can perform.
posted by zippy at 3:51 PM on April 21, 2012
Does she have enough to do? When I was in grad school there was a lot of drama in group projects because there was a lot of pressure to produce work for your portfolio that you could talk about in interviews, but not enough work for everyone to go around, so someone always had to get the short end of the stick.
Does she actually have her own work to be doing? Maybe you could discuss her workload with her and find out if she has enough work, or if she needs help doing her own work. It sounds like she's having issues one way or another with her own assignment, which might be the root of this problem.
posted by bleep at 3:51 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Does she actually have her own work to be doing? Maybe you could discuss her workload with her and find out if she has enough work, or if she needs help doing her own work. It sounds like she's having issues one way or another with her own assignment, which might be the root of this problem.
posted by bleep at 3:51 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
"when you offer or push to take over someone else's workload, you are coming across as implying that we cannot do the jobs ourselves. We are a team, and we are all able to pull our own weight. If you need more to do, we can talk about that."
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:53 PM on April 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 3:53 PM on April 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
Only address it again if it becomes an issue again. Address it by acknowledging her desire to help, and your appreciation of this, but say that you have got it covered. Repeat as necessary.
posted by mleigh at 3:55 PM on April 21, 2012
posted by mleigh at 3:55 PM on April 21, 2012
Just playing devil's advocate here, but is there a chance that her concerns over your workload are legitimate? If you've taken on what she perceives to be more than your "fair share", her offers to "help" might in fact be her own attempts to address the situation in a diplomatic fashion. Before taking more direct action, I'd double check (perhaps soliciting the opinion of Kim?) that you're not unintentionally being a work hog.
If the issue persists, I'd suggest bringing it up as a general topic among all members of the group, perhaps saying something like "At this stage of the project, I thought we should all check in about how we're feeling about our workloads. Does everyone feel they are being used to their fullest potential? Does everyone feel like they have the opportunity to contribute something significant to the project?" This would allow her to air any issues she might have (and you to do the same) without feeling like anyone is being unfairly singled out or targeted.
posted by Dorinda at 4:20 PM on April 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
If the issue persists, I'd suggest bringing it up as a general topic among all members of the group, perhaps saying something like "At this stage of the project, I thought we should all check in about how we're feeling about our workloads. Does everyone feel they are being used to their fullest potential? Does everyone feel like they have the opportunity to contribute something significant to the project?" This would allow her to air any issues she might have (and you to do the same) without feeling like anyone is being unfairly singled out or targeted.
posted by Dorinda at 4:20 PM on April 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
She might be really aiming to help, and just being a bit socially clueless about it. She sounds like I might sound if I care a lot about the outcome of the project, and if I see others have a lot of other things to do, and if I know there's a part of the project I *know* I could do really well if it was assigned to me.
If you really want to keep your assignment, tell her firmly and more directly than you did so far: "Thanks for your offer, but I got this. It be completed in [three days/two weeks/by June]".
posted by Ender's Friend at 4:53 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
If you really want to keep your assignment, tell her firmly and more directly than you did so far: "Thanks for your offer, but I got this. It be completed in [three days/two weeks/by June]".
posted by Ender's Friend at 4:53 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Jane, is your concern that I'm not up to the task here, or is it that you feel like you're not contributing as much as the rest of us?"
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 5:10 PM on April 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 5:10 PM on April 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
Also, distraction. "Thanks for the offer! I've got the stats under control, but we do need some photos for the section. Could you find me four pictures of dogs: one sitting, one standing, one playing, and one sleeping? Also, it'd be great if you could plan out where we'll do the printing and binding. We'll need to print five 50 page color copies with three 11x17 insets with 48-hour turnaround -- do you want to figure out which copy place will do that at lowest cost?"
posted by salvia at 5:51 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by salvia at 5:51 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Jane, if I need your help I will ask for it"....and if she continues to push: "Please back off."
posted by brujita at 5:53 PM on April 21, 2012
posted by brujita at 5:53 PM on April 21, 2012
"Now is the time in life when we learn the lesson that other people's work isn't always exactly how we like, and we have to make do with it anyways."
posted by ead at 10:53 AM on April 22, 2012
posted by ead at 10:53 AM on April 22, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by grouse at 3:47 PM on April 21, 2012 [1 favorite]