Baby shower gift giving etiquette
April 13, 2012 5:40 AM   Subscribe

Attending a baby shower for an out-of-town long time friend, hosted in our home town. Should I bring a gift to the shower, or have it mailed to her house?

A close friend who I've known since we were wee ones very recently had twin boys. She lives in Maine, I live in our hometown in Virginia. A mutual friend of ours is hosting her baby shower in Virginia. Mom friend and hubby have road tripped down to VA with the boys to visit for a week.

That being said, should I bring my gift to the party or have it mailed to her house in Maine? I can't imagine that travelling with two newborns for god knows how many hours in the car can be any sort of fun. And also can imagine that their car is packed to the brim with baby supplies for the visit alone. My feeling is that I should mail her gift, and include a picture of it in a nice heartfelt card to give to her at the shower.

My mom thinks it's bad manners not to bring a gift TO the shower. I can see what she's getting at, seeing as how the point of a baby shower is to open gifts and ooh and ahh over how tiny socks can be! But damn, if I had two 6 week old boys and a car full of suitcases and baby supplies, I would NOT want to try and fit millions of new baby presents in said car.

Should I mail, or bring??
posted by Gonestarfishing to Human Relations (7 answers total)
I'd imagine she'll get all sorts of gifts at the baby shower, so they're packing in a way to accommodate that.
posted by xingcat at 5:43 AM on April 13, 2012

Perhaps mail something substantial to her home in Maine (is she registered anywhere?) and then wrap some tiny socks and other tiny* cuteness for her to open at shower.

You could, instead of mailing something, inside a gift card with the cuteness.

*I hear from many new moms that they are overloaded with newborn things, and that 6-9 or 9-12 months sizes would be much appreciated.
posted by bilabial at 5:45 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also? There's nothing wrong with asking what the guest of honor would prefer. She may have one thin on her registry that she'd love to have before the drive down, and you could be a sanity saver! Or maybe she would be comfortable telling you that a gift card really would be the best thing.
posted by bilabial at 5:47 AM on April 13, 2012

I say it depends on the gift. If you're going to buy her something bulky then mail that and bring a card with a picture of it to the shower. But if it's baby clothes or other cloth, that can be compacted for packing.

My cousin flew in from Vancouver for her shower and she left all the big stuff for her parents to bring when they drove out the following month.
posted by lizbunny at 6:11 AM on April 13, 2012

If it's something large, send it to her house, but wrap up a picture of the present (just print it from online). If it's clothes/small things, bring it to the shower.
posted by dpx.mfx at 6:25 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

Give her the present at the shower but then take it home with you and mail it to her house. You wouldn't it want the present to arrive at the house when they're out of town, right?
posted by artychoke at 6:42 AM on April 13, 2012

I think your plan is a good one. While the recipient will probably appreciate the gift shipped to her house, a big part of every baby shower I've been to (as you've said) is opening the gifts and marveling at teh cute. (Mimosas help here.)

Shipping the gift but bringing a nice card with photo or whatever deals with both things nicely, IMO.
posted by pantarei70 at 7:21 AM on April 13, 2012

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