Oxford comma : copyeditors :: [?] : economists

March 22, 2012 9:35 AM

Help me decide the perfect funny/nerdy word or phrase to use on a gift for a friend who recently got his PhD in Economics.

Calling all MeFi economists … or anyone with more econ-saavy than me …

A friend of mine just finished his PhD in econ and snagged his first assistant professorship (yay), and I want to get him a little congrats gift. I’m thinking of getting him a mug printed with this or this design from this Etsy shop—but printed with something econ-oriented replacing “punctuation correctly” or “chaos theory.” Unfortunately, I’m singularly unqualified to fill in that blank. Can you help me come up with the right phrase?

I’m looking for the economist’s equivalent of what “I <3 Oxford commas” is to a copyeditor (well … some copyeditors). Not crazily-obscure, but a nice little industry in-joke. Not just “I <3 econ” or “Economists Rule!”; something more like … “I <3 calibrated general equilibrium life-cycle models” or “I <3 dynamic heterogenous-agent economies” or whatnot. (Are those things you’d heart? I have no idea.)

I would also consider something instantly recognizable from Fortran—apparently for academic reasons, he is a master at this ancient coding language. Is there a … variable/object/piece of code/logo that would be super-recognizable?

Here’s what I know about my friend, in case that helps:

1. His field is quantitative macro
2. Most of his research has been around consumer default, and he’s written papers on default policy legislation, the implications of eliminating bankruptcy protections, computing dynamic heterogeneous-agent economies, something called a “New Keynesian model with a zero lower bound on nominal interest rates” … etc. (I can link to his job market page where you can read summaries of his papers, if that’s useful—I guess it’s public info)
3. He was a math major in undergrad, so if I can’t get something that works for econ, I could do math.

Thanks for your help!

(If I can’t come up with something custom, I’m considering these items. Feel free to weigh in on if they are actually funny or just awful. I kind of think awful.
Mug A: Economists do it with models.
Mug B: High productivity yield inside.
Math clock. I know, it’s kinda tame.)

posted by alleycat01 to Education (15 answers total)

Gold. Standard.
posted by cardioid at 9:49 AM on March 22, 2012

Also, that math clock may be lame, but it's not nearly as lame as the one that merely replaces every number with sqrt(n**2). At least the one you linked has some variety.

Why yes, I do read Skymall.
posted by cardioid at 9:51 AM on March 22, 2012

Best answer: "My life is pareto optimal."

Every economist I know loves this joke.
posted by lunasol at 9:53 AM on March 22, 2012 [2 favorites]

Can you do something with Adam Smith's invisible hand? Like "Insert visible hand here"? Maybe someone else can turn it into something funnier.

Something from Game Theory might also work. A decision tree relating to morning coffee?
posted by dripdripdrop at 10:24 AM on March 22, 2012

Given “New Keynesian model with a zero lower bound on nominal interest rates”:

"The dismal science"? Ha! They aint seen nothin' yet!
posted by jamjam at 10:36 AM on March 22, 2012

Hmm for macro ultra-nerdery you would want "True Macro-Economists do it with Dynamic Stochastic Equilibrium Models (only not in a recession)."

But that may depend on where he falls on the New Keynesian, Real Business Cycle macro-divide...
posted by stratastar at 10:49 AM on March 22, 2012

I've always liked "Show us on the doll where the invisible hand touched you" but since I'm using it to poke fun at over-reliance on market economics maybe he won't be as amused...

If the goal is an office trinket - mug, etc - you may want to make the joke understandable enough to the other people who he'll encounter. Something that nobody gets is sometimes a little funny but personally I like it when more people get the joke. You could opt for a stochastic/stoic pun...

Zeno:Stoic :: Bortkiewicz:? (for Zeno:Stoic :: Bortkiewicz:Stochastic)

Hmmm... "When my son asked me where babies come from I told him the stochastic brought him"
posted by phearlez at 11:24 AM on March 22, 2012

Don't Trickle Down?
posted by Kafkaesque at 12:41 PM on March 22, 2012

Response by poster: Haha wow guys. I think I only understand about 1/6th of what's been written here, and that 1/6th is mostly words like "can you" and "maybe you should."

lunasol—hmm, so, does "my life is pareto optimal" just mean ... everything is distributed in my life so that no further improvements can be made? Like, "my life rocks"?

I guess it doesn't need to be a true joke or pun--more just a nod to some sort of geekish love for the minutiae of your field.

Along those lines, phearlez, I totally agree that it should be something that can be understand by most people he'll be around in the office--that's about the level of the Oxford comma example. (It's geeky to care about, but most people in my field would understand what it is.)

I think I'm leaning toward something with the invisible hand/visible hand just because it's short and pithy ...

Is there anything I can do with the phrase "I use punctuation correctly" -- like, any verbs I can use? "I theorize stochiastically" or ... "I evalute risk dynamically"?

Sigh. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I'm probably going to end up with Math Clock.
posted by alleycat01 at 2:02 PM on March 22, 2012

This is a really cute idea. Personally, I like "my life is Pareto optimal". Based on my (very basic) understanding, it's less "my life rocks!" and more, "if I spent more time/resources on one thing, something/someone else would suffer."

Do you know the title of your friend's thesis/papers? Maybe that could turn into a pun.
posted by tinymegalo at 2:44 PM on March 22, 2012

Related to the can opener joke that lunasol referenced... my college's econ department had a popular shirt that said "Just assume it" with the Nike swoosh.
posted by kayram at 5:38 PM on March 22, 2012

You could adapt one of these. The first one in particular is quite generic.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:00 AM on March 23, 2012

Response by poster: Thanks again, everyone! The econ valentines are pretty hilarious.

JUST IN CASE anyone is super self-motivated to continue tweaking this based on information about his actual work (if that gives you a sense of where he falls on the econ spectrum), the link to a summary of his research is here.

The titles of his papers are as follows:
Evaluating Default Policy: The Business Cycle Matters
Dealing with Consumer Default: Bankruptcy vs Garnishment
Computing Dynamic Heterogeneous-Agent Economies: Tracking the Distribution
Nonlinear Adventures at the Zero Lower Bound*

But otherwise, I'll take everything above and come up with something! Thanks for all the idea.

*I love this one. It's so ... literary.
posted by alleycat01 at 7:27 AM on March 23, 2012

Personally I'd avoid riffing on the titles of his papers. You have no idea how he feels about them individually; I look back on the body of my work as a writer or as a programmer and have different affection for them - often out of balance with what other people perceive of them. I suppose it's possible people are different about their research papers but I doubt it.
posted by phearlez at 8:36 AM on March 23, 2012

Best answer: Alleycat01, just saw this now. I think "my life is pareto optimal" would mean that everything in his life is as good as it could be without making something else worse. So sort of the gloomy version of "my life rocks." They don't call it the dismal science for nothin'!

Yes, it's quite nerdy.
posted by lunasol at 2:55 PM on March 23, 2012