How do I talk about something deeply embarrassing?
March 18, 2012 10:00 PM   Subscribe

My husband dribbles on the floor in front of the toilet when he pees in the toilet. I am mortified at the prospect of bringing this up with him, and he is likely to be mortified to hear it. Help?

We are both easily embarrassed types, but me moreso than him.

At first I thought he was splashing when he washed his hands, until I mopped it up with a tissue once, and sure enough, it was pee. It's happened several more times that I've noticed (over the past several weeks), but probably has been going on for a while since we used to have a rug in front of the toilet and now we don't, it's just tiled floor.

I am so embarrassed that the thought of mopping up after him forever has in fact occurred to me.

Growing up in a house full of women, the whole "men peeing" thing is still a bit of a mystery to me. I mean, I understand the mechanic of aim & shoot, but why would there be dribbling in front of the toilet?

Is there any way on this earth that I could bring this up to him to make him aware and not make us both so embarrassed that we want to die? Because I cannot fathom a way to bring this up. I'd especially appreciate a male viewpoint here; why would this happen, and if someone had to bring it up to you, what would be the best way to do it?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (61 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
"Hey, there's been pee on the bathroom floor a few times lately. Can you try and make sure it stays in the toilet?"

(Really, I'm having a hard time comprehending being married to someone without being able to talk about... pee. On my "top ten" list of mortifying topics to bring up, that ranks at, maybe, 137. Trust me, he will not be traumatized.)
posted by celtalitha at 10:09 PM on March 18, 2012 [29 favorites]


But dude should have gotten the (if foreskin is involved) "pull it back, and aim" (which I can extrapolate to that being very tall has disadvantages) lesson. And I got chores as a kid that included cleaning the toilet. I guess your husband didn't get that kind of vocational training.

Buy some of those bleach wipe canisters when they're on sale. And some latex/nylon disposable gloves if he doesn't use his hands on a labour job. Swipe a cloth, wipe down the bowl and nearbies every few urinations.

I don't have any advice on how to break it to him, but as a stand up urinator, we have to take responsibility for our footprint.

While you're at it, teach your husband to pour in a glug or two of bleach into the toilet bowl and scrub it out with a brush every so often.
posted by porpoise at 10:09 PM on March 18, 2012

I am so embarrassed that the thought of mopping up after him forever has in fact occurred to me.

Say something or do this, but don't do neither and get bent out of shape. His behavior won't change as he doesn't see it as a problem or he'd correct it on his own.

I mean, I understand the mechanic of aim & shoot, but why would there be dribbling in front of the toilet?

The mechanics are that the are sphincters in there and a urethra full of piss. I'm a dude and I don't always get it. I can "shake it" for hours, but as soon as I tuck and walk a few drops often dampen my man-panties. There you go. Do with that info what you will, but don't hold it against your husband. Either point out his misses and mistakes and ask him to deal with them or mop woman mop!
posted by cjorgensen at 10:09 PM on March 18, 2012 [18 favorites]

Sounds like mopping the bathroom just became his chore.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:10 PM on March 18, 2012 [66 favorites]

This is a thing that happens. Talk to him about it. Beware that there are probably things that you do that he's afraid to talk to you about. You need to figure out how to have these conversations.

If you plan to grow old together, one of you is going to get incontinent first. You probably have a few decades to figure out how to talk about that before it becomes an issue though.

Finally, if you plan on having kids, beware that kids pee, poop and barf all over the place. Or even a cat.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:11 PM on March 18, 2012 [11 favorites]

In our house my husband cleans the floor around the toilet. Sometimes I tease him when I see drops. He pretty much just tells me I'd drip too, if I was him. Not at all a big deal! Just tell him the drops were there. Matter of fact, the less you fret the less embarassed he will be. It is a normal thing happening there!
posted by Swisstine at 10:12 PM on March 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

too much information answer:
the physics of urine leaving the urethra are strange, especially towards the end of the pee, as you kind of lose control over the velocity. it no longer comes out in a distinct stream, but short bursts that can be uncontrollable and drip without noticing. normally, the way i avoid this is to keep my junk squarely over the bowl and give a couple shakes in order to be sure. however, this is a habit i don't always keep, especially if it's in the middle of the night or the morning (i tend to get dizzy/lightheaded when i urinate at these times, and i'm more concerned with trying to get back to laying down than worrying about where my urine goes).

of course, i'm a single male with his own bathroom, so I don't really mind it. it shouldn't be a big deal to bring up, men understand why this happens.
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 10:12 PM on March 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

I'm no expert on relationships (ha!) but it seems to me this is exactly the kind of communication that being spouses makes essential that you can, you know, bring up.

Lord knows various toilet-related aim issues are common currency as jokes. There's a ... one-page web cartoon? ... on my mind that I can't find that's something like the nine ways to screw up peeing if you're male.

Honestly, most relationships I've been in, the woman would have basically read me the riot act if I did this twice and those are not even women I lived with. First shot across the bow would have been a brusque, neutral "Dude, gotta clean up the toilet, I'm not doing it for you" and escalate from there.
posted by dhartung at 10:12 PM on March 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm a circumcised male, and things don't always go where I think they're going to go either.
posted by LionIndex at 10:13 PM on March 18, 2012

Speaking as a guy, people without one sometimes think it's like a laser precision instrument like those water jets they use to cut through steel when in reality it's more like a garden hose wherein you usually get most of the water where you aim it, but it's not 100% and all kinds of things can happen.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 10:16 PM on March 18, 2012 [7 favorites]

we used to have a rug in front of the toilet and now we don't, it's just tiled floor

Until you work out how to house train your main, why not get another floor mat?
posted by flabdablet at 10:19 PM on March 18, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ask him to always use the seat. Which also solves the "seat left up or down" problem.
posted by Marky at 10:28 PM on March 18, 2012 [5 favorites]

Is there any way on this earth that I could bring this up to him to make him aware and not make us both so embarrassed that we want to die?

All people (especially people who are meek by nature) take cues about how to react to a social situation (especially an unprecedented social situation) from the ways that the people around them are reacting (especially people they are close to). It sounds to me like you are in a sort of feedback loop with your husband: you are shy about the word "urine," so he is, so you are embarrassed, so he is, so you are mortified, so he is, so you want to die, so he does.

This is one of those topics that, if you approach it as a non-issue, it will much more likely be one. Even if it's embarrassing to him, you'll have set the precedent "my dear spouse anonymous is okay with talking about such matters," and that will make him less embarrassed next time.

Communication in a relationship is a habit well worth cultivating, even about the piddling things.
posted by foursentences at 10:30 PM on March 18, 2012 [12 favorites]

In my marriage, the topic would be addressed as such: "Hey, try not to pee on the floor."

I'm a little confused about the hesitation. This sounds very ... very ... minor. Relative to the list of mortifying things that occur in marriages, this is miles down the list from the worst of it. Is this a particularly new marriage?
posted by ead at 10:33 PM on March 18, 2012 [23 favorites]

I may be way out of line with community standards here, but I'm not seeing why a few drops of pee on the floor is a huge deal that even has to be discussed. Why can you not just ignore it and let your regular mopping and washing of the bath mat deal with it?
posted by jayder at 10:42 PM on March 18, 2012

You may have a leaky toilet, too. We have an older toilet and sometimes it leaks a little in the same spot where men tend to dribble. Speculating about a leak could be a suitably indirect way of bringing up the pee problem, if that's the approach you feel you must take.

Are you newlyweds? It's unusual for life partners not to be able to discuss these things. You may be changing his diapers one day, so you might as well get comfortable. It's part of intimacy.
posted by gentian at 10:50 PM on March 18, 2012 [2 favorites]

Ehhh, I really doubt he'll be half as mortified as you think he'll be. Just bring it up. It's really easy to be inaccurate while peeing (especially the first thing in the morning, with the biomechanics involved.) We solve this problem in our household by having me do the cleaning of the bathrooms.
posted by Happydaz at 10:54 PM on March 18, 2012

My experience doing this went like this:

Me: "Uh, OK, this grosses me out that my feet stick to the floor when I go to sit down on the WC. I need you to either not dribble, or just pay attention and wipe it up with one of these handy-dandy bleach wipes right here." [display item]

Him: "Yeah, that is gross. OK. Sorry."

And then he started doing it and all was once again happy in Happy Bathroom Land.

I can't see a reason to be anything but matter-of-fact about the whole thing.
posted by That's Numberwang! at 11:20 PM on March 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

Tell him to clean it up or sit down to pee. Easy as that. He can pick one. Do it matter of factly to reduce embarrassment for you both.

This will not be the last pee-related discussion in your married life.
posted by asciident at 12:12 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

You could write a note if you're too embarrassed to talk about it. There's even an annoyingly sing-songy rhyme that you could needlepoint.
posted by salvia at 12:12 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I think different people have different tolerances for "bathroom" discussions and that their level of discourse around the bathroom does not necessarily indicate the health of their relationship. I am kind of surprised at the tone of the responses here. It sounds like everyone has lived in a co-ed frat house and expects everyone else has as well.

I am VERY weird about the bathroom. I am very private and I get embarrassed talking about bathroom stuff. My husband and I have shared incredibly embarrassing interpersonal/social history things, yet he was embarrassed to tell me about his hemorrhoids. I think LOTS of people are shy about bathroom stuff without being wrong/unhealthy. I would be embarrassed to bring this up as well.

I agree that joking is the best approach to soften things if you need to address it.

Good luck, O.P.... I grew up with only women and do not always understand guys, either!
posted by Punctual at 12:27 AM on March 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

Ask him to sit when peeing? I do. Always. Unless I'm in a public toilet. Even if it's not the end dribbles that get outside the bowl there is always splash. My housemate always stands and the toilet gets gross so fast. Ick. Sitting is the way to go!
posted by rainperimeter at 12:47 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

Do not ask him to sit down to pee, especially if you're both easily embarrassed. It could be perceived as emasculating.

Otherwise, how do ya'll talk your period? Use that as a guidepost.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:51 AM on March 19, 2012 [9 favorites]

I would be embarassed. Perhaps you that could ask him to take over the bathroom mopping. If this is going to annoy you forever, then don't just mop up after him - get him to do it or tell him or both.
posted by plonkee at 1:07 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

"Honey, I feel bad bringing this up because I don't want to make YOU feel bad, and I grew up with all girls so I'm not used to this being a thing, but, um... are you aware that sometimes when you pee you get drips on the floor?"

Presumably you don't even need to add "please start cleaning up"; it goes without saying.

I don't think this needs to be a mortifying issue by any means, but if it feels that way to you, that's fine--just explain why you feel awkward mentioning it and then, with that cushion, go ahead and tell him.
posted by torticat at 1:24 AM on March 19, 2012 [6 favorites]

Let me be totally clear about this: PUT THE RUG BACK. That's what it's for.

Men dribble, and we don't pee straight all the time. There's not much we can do about it. This is why the U-shaped rug around the toilet was invented: to soak up the little bits that go astray. Wash it once in a while (or have him do that) so it doesn't become a problem.

I don't know why The Spotless All-Tile Floor has become the only acceptable bathroom configuration, but trying to shame a guy into respecting an uncomfortable peeing situation in his own house is a recipe for unhappiness.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:30 AM on March 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

I'm a man. I live by myself. I got sick of cleaning up my own dribbles and misfires. So now I sit down when I pee. If he were in charge of cleaning the bathroom, perhaps he'd come to this realization as well?

Or, as Harvey suggests, putting the rug back would seem to be a no-pain solution.
posted by Ducks or monkeys at 2:24 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

i use the rug. i wash it with the bath mat and such so all those things get washed together and don't contaminate anything else. i think telling your spouse to sit to pee is weirdly controlling, especially if you haven't even pointed out the issue yet and let him deal with it. he's not a 5 year old. men dribble sometimes. if you really don't want the rug back, make cleaning the bathroom his job - adjust other chores accordingly.
posted by nadawi at 2:32 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

Old British sign in public toilets,

"We aim to please. Will you aim too, please."
posted by epo at 4:15 AM on March 19, 2012 [11 favorites]

I too grew up in a household where your bathroom business was your own, and there's nothing unhealthy about feeling uncomfortable talking about it, and it's not a death knell for the relationship that you don't! (My kids refused to see Bridesmaids with me and warned me away from it -- they're young and hip but found it completely vulgar.)

Having said that, mortification is a little strong. A simple "Darling, please have a quick look after you use the john to make sure the floor's tidy." Or yes, put back the rug (although pee on the rug doesn't sit so well with me either, unlike some others here.)
posted by thinkpiece at 4:19 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

My grandfather taught me to go down on one knee, roll it down into the bowl, and problem solved.

(OK, the rolling bit is wishful thinking, but still...)
posted by wrm at 4:39 AM on March 19, 2012 [3 favorites]

I get your embarrassment. When I first married, we lived in a tiny, tiny apartment. You could see, hear, (and oh gosh, smell) anything that went on in any of its rooms. For the first few weeks, I refused to have bowel movements in the apartment, and would walk over to the corner store to use their facilities. It occurred to me that this was setting myself up for a lifetime of weirdness (like you, silently mopping the floor every morning) and I finally bit the bullet. "You know, ladies sometimes use the bathroom too and I've been embarrassed." He confirmed that he was aware that women use the bathroom and that he'd noticed my daily trips to the store. And all was fine after that.

My point is, the conversation might turn out a lot less embarrassing than you fear. And you've got to do it, so might as well do it now. Someday you might have children, you might have a son, and you'll be discussing with your husband how to teach that child to pee standing up and the merits of putting Cheerios in the toilet to help with aim... As someone else mentioned, someday you may be changing your husband's diapers... Things will get less embarrassing as time goes on. This is just the first of many awkward conversations you will have, and it gets easier as time goes on.

You don't have to make eye contact while having this conversation, if that helps. Be putting up the groceries or something when you bring it up. Make it concise and get right to the point. But have the conversation.

(A rug doesn't fix the problem. It only means you can't see if your feet are on his pee or not.)
posted by Houstonian at 5:06 AM on March 19, 2012 [7 favorites]

Simple answer if you can't bring it up head on: have him clean the bathroom. Thoroughly. Maybe then he notices it and will be more conscientious of it, maybe not. The only guarantee is if you actually speak to him about it, though.
posted by the foreground at 5:14 AM on March 19, 2012

Agreeing with thinkpiece th*at a peed on rug is truly disgusting. Get up at night, step on the peed on rug and then go back to bed? No thanks.

Just talk to him.
Ask him to please clean up or sit. Thanks honey.

If he prefers to stand, get bleach wipes.

As mentioned, this will be one of the less embarrassing conversations you will have over a course of a marriage. Might as well practice.

I clean up horse manure every day. I change the cat boxes. I've cleaned up puke, poop, and piddle from puppies and kids, and grandkids. But there is no way I would ever clean up a grown man's pee. Fortunately, my husband has ALWAYS been clean and courteous*, and therefore I don't mind cleaning the bathroom--I even do it cheerfully. We raised two sons that don't make messes either.

*Yes, it is a courtesy thing to not leave pee all over the place. Either sit, or clean up.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:19 AM on March 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

not unusual. I do it often--pee hits floor that is--and that is because of my age. Wife notes, cleans, makes snarky remarks, and I am more careful next time or if I spot it I clean...note though that often an older guy does not even know he has done this! To prevent: sit down rather than standing to ensure no accidents.
posted by Postroad at 5:22 AM on March 19, 2012

I don't know why The Spotless All-Tile Floor has become the only acceptable bathroom configuration

I don't think not wanting to walk in pee counts as an impossibly high standard.

In my experience though, the bleach wipes in the cannister leave a yellow residue.

OP - this is not a big deal. Your husband is not careless or diseased, this is just something that happens.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:20 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

"hey, i noticed there's some droplets on the floor. Do you think the water is splashing out of the toilet when we flush? It couldn't be pee, could it? Can you check if you notice any drops after the next time you go to the bathroom?"
posted by Kololo at 6:30 AM on March 19, 2012

Dear kindly shy lady,

Unfortunately for your shyness, you need to head this off at the pass now, because it's going to get worse, not better. Ah, the delightful, rarely discussed changes in a man's body. Wait till his first minor, likely undiagnosed burst of prostatitis. It'll look like a horror movie in that bathroom, but with pee. (Okay not that bad. But not good either!)

Fortunately, you'll have trained him to clean up after himself—and maybe to clean up after other people too?—by the time that comes along.

Very truly yours,

A household composed of two men over 40.
posted by RJ Reynolds at 6:32 AM on March 19, 2012 [5 favorites]

As my dear, departed Grandma said, "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie. If some gets onto the floor, be sure to wipe some more."

All guys go thru phases where the angle and/or pressure changes, and the arc doesn't do what we think it's doing. Just snark at him gently and good-naturedly to let him know, and he'll keep an eye out for it, and re-adjust his "style."
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:32 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I really doubt this will be as much of a deal to him as you think it will. Completely common thing and he probably doesn't know because there was a rug before and you've been wiping it up recently.

It's like a non-thing in our bathroom.
Me, entering bathroom where son is washing hands after peeing.
ME (noticing pee on floor in front of toilet): Dude.
SON: Oh, sorry. (runs over, wipes up pee.)
posted by chococat at 7:49 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

Seriously, all guys do this. Your husband, being a guy who uses bathrooms with other guys, knows that guys do this. He should not be too embarrassed if you mention it to him, especially if you do so with good humor and don't let yourself seem too put out. "Hey, honey: I'm not used to this whole sharing the bathroom with dudes thing. Could you wipe the floor?"

(If you're even considering having kids, HAH, you will both have to get over your aversion to discussing pee right quick. Forget about the floor, and how little boys are even worse than men about aim: the first time a sweet little baby pees in the general direction of YOUR FACE during a diaper change, you'll have to learn to laugh at pee or you'll never stop crying.)
posted by BlueJae at 7:54 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

My best friend of 20 years (and former roommate) has done this all his life, AFAIK. Our bathroom was usually a pee-spattered nightmare every time he used it. And then when his dad came to live with us for a few weeks post-divorce, I discovered that this apparently runs in the family. So one night at dinner I was just like "oh hay did you know that you both pee down the front of the toilet every time?" There was hilarity and minor embarrassment and promises to never do it again. And this is just my BFF and my BFF-in-law, not my husband with whom I would presumably have a far more intimate relationship.

tl;dr just tell him already, you already have a good relationship with his dick, you're not going to hurt its feelings.
posted by elizardbits at 7:58 AM on March 19, 2012 [3 favorites]

I don't know why The Spotless All-Tile Floor has become the only acceptable bathroom configuration

Maybe it's me, but I'm more grossed out by the idea of a pee-sodden rug or floor mat in front of the toilet than by a more easily wipeable all-tile floor. I'd almost rather have to wipe up a few drops myself than live in the fear of what's festering in that rug all week before the laundry gets done.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:10 AM on March 19, 2012 [15 favorites]

I gather that we're talking a stray droplet ... not a "pee sodden" rug.
posted by jayder at 8:16 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

My Friday night was spent in the ER with my husband helping me get a urine sample, if that gives you any indication how the "other side" lives. My family doesn't understand the whole bathroom privacy concept. However, a friend of mine has the don't ask, don't tell attitude regarding bodily functions that you guys seem to have and she said that she would bring it up to her husband while they were hanging out at home and very casually say something like I know this is mortifying, but you seem to be peeing a tiny bit on the floor near the toilet, could you clean it up? Mr. crankylex solves this issue by sitting down to pee most of the time.
posted by crankylex at 8:21 AM on March 19, 2012

I gather that we're talking a stray droplet ... not a "pee sodden" rug.

A few stray droplets every time/every day adds up. . .
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:27 AM on March 19, 2012 [4 favorites]

You just have to push through and say something. I can't help with your embarrassment, but I can say he will be embarrassed, and you need to let him know that you love him. Part of a marriage is two people seeing each other for who they really are, and openly sharing that with between themselves. Learning to laugh when feeling embarrassed is key.

And guys, close the lid when you flush.
posted by roboton666 at 8:33 AM on March 19, 2012

Give him a fat, hot, gropey kiss on the mouth. Then: "Oh, could you wipe up the floor in front of the toilet after you piss?" Then: look him directly in the eyes and apply a second kiss and maybe tweak something.

You get what you want, he knows you still desire him as a man despite the issue.
posted by TheRedArmy at 8:43 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

A few stray droplets every time/every day adds up. . .

And it's not just misfires and end dribbles we're talking about here. Pretty much every time a guy stands to pee, there are consistent tiny splashes coming from the bowl. Here's an experiment, guys: place a full bucket of water next to the toilet so you can see a light reflected on the surface when you stand to pee. You'll see how much splashback around the toilet happens every time.

I started mopping the bathroom floor more often, anyway.

(Discovered by accident during a severe drought when we had buckets of rainwater everywhere we thought would help.)
posted by mediareport at 8:49 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'll pile on to say that you have to bite the bullet and talk about this in some way. Frankly, seriously, jokingly, embarrasedly, whatever. But bring it up somehow or really resign yourself to not letting it bother you and cleaning it up forever. I think option 2 would be very difficult for most people to honestly do.

I'd like to Nth the sitting down option. I have been sitting every time I'm not at a urinal since I was about 15 because I'm very tall and there is absolutely no way I won't make a huge mess when standing.

Do not ask him to sit down to pee, especially if you're both easily embarrassed. It could be perceived as emasculating.

I don't disagree with this because I hear it all the time, but I wonder why. I don't feel less of a man for sitting down and I really don't get why I'm supposed to. I feel a little like a better man because the seat is always down and the area is clean. Also, it's MUCH quieter and if he's easily embarrassed this may be a bonus.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 8:58 AM on March 19, 2012 [3 favorites]

Nthing sitting down to pee.

Even if he's not dribbling right in front, peeing standing up sprays tiny amounts of urine all over the top of the bowl and the tiles at the side of the toilet. Tiny amounts that add up and become absolutely disgusting over time.

There's nothing emasculating about it, it's just hygiene. (I am a man, by the way.)
posted by HopStopDon'tShop at 9:06 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

If you absolutely cannot discuss the specifics of the issue, you could just tell him, "After some recalculation regarding division of household labor, I'm assigning you most of the bathroom. Sink and counter get done twice a week (or whatever), plus dust the tank and scrub the bowl. Under the seat and the floor around the toilet are daily. Thanks!"
posted by Lyn Never at 9:19 AM on March 19, 2012 [1 favorite]

I am the married mother of two boys. (I also have a daughter but she is irrelevant to this conversation.)

I learned long ago that boys don't always make it in. Aside from the daily tinkle, there are night time trips where I have to say I'm just pleased that the whole room doesn't get sprayed.

With my husband a simple, "Hon, can you pay a little more attention to your aim?" is enough. With my boys it's more like, "STAND CLOSER!" and "Dude! Shake off OVER the potty!"

Honestly though, I have a special pair of gloves I keep under the bathroom sink that are used only for doing in and around the toilet. The flushable toilet wipes are a beautiful thing just for this purpose. Maybe I have low expectations but I thought this just went hand in hand with living along side males.
posted by TooFewShoes at 9:31 AM on March 19, 2012

Urine is sterile, you guys. Just grab a little TP and wipe it up.

Why yes, I do have a male baby, why do you ask?
posted by Fleebnork at 9:58 AM on March 19, 2012 [2 favorites]

Urine is sterile, you guys

Sure, but the paths it travels out of the body are not.
posted by elizardbits at 10:35 AM on March 19, 2012

If urine where an invincible sterile fluid, no one would ever have a UTI.

On questions of urine sterility, I invite you to view a trail puddle on a horse track. Horses enjoy peeing in he same place. The volume of several horses is impressive.

However, I have wiped up pee from all kinds of mammals and am not dead yet. Keep the bathroom clean but don't feel to need a biohazard suit and purifying flame.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 10:40 AM on March 19, 2012

Hypothetically, because he may have always had family/partners who cleaned it up, he might not even notice it and be embarrassed to have you tell him about it, but be even more embarrassed when he starts to notice because you mentioned it that, yes, he does occasionally dribble. But after that point, he'll probably be much more careful.

Hypothetically, of course... it's not like my partner could have asked this same question about me a few years back or anything.

Though, again, two men living together means that the missed dribble accumulates twice as quickly, so this becomes an issue twice as fast, especially when neither of you fits the 'neat and fussy' gay male stereotype. Hypothetically. My sympathies to parents of young boys and men.

But seriously, I'm sure if you mention it with the right 'did you ever notice you do this?' tone, he may be slightly shamed, probably not as mortified as you, and in this instance, shame is pretty much the kind of motivation you're looking for. Good luck!
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:05 PM on March 19, 2012

Sure, but the paths it travels out of the body are not.

I hear hand-washing is good after using the toilet.
posted by Fleebnork at 2:22 PM on March 19, 2012

If you ever go into a unisex pubic restroom with a urinal in it, there inevitably will be a puddle underneath. Your husband probably shouldn't be too mortified to find out that he himself does this at home. And maybe he wouldn't be surprised, but just didn't think it was that significant before.

As for asking him to sit down, if he doesn't already do this, I can definitely see him feeling emasculated just by being asked to. It's just one of those things.

Seems like this is a topic that has to have come up in a Judd Apatow movie or something.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 2:49 PM on March 19, 2012

Have a kid. You'll:

1. Get over any squeamishness about any bodily fluids.
2. Be forced to stop being modest around one another and start communicating.
3. Have somebody to relay these awkward messages.
4. Care less about whether things are filthy & disgusting or not.
5. Only have to wait a few years until there's someone new to assign the chore to.
posted by anildash at 5:07 PM on March 19, 2012

Eh, he ignores the occasional trace evidence of my menstrual blood, I clean up the pee without comment.
posted by desuetude at 8:38 PM on March 19, 2012

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