The Lipstick Queen want to make out!
March 9, 2012 10:48 AM   Subscribe

I can't believe I'm asking this, but how do lipstick fiends manage having a man that they would like to kiss regularly?

I love lipstick, but I've always been hesitant to wear it when I'm dating someone. MAC's Chili looks fabulous on me, but I can't imagine it would look great on my guys face/neck/shirt collar. Even with more subtle lipstick, it fades and can get everywhere. I use pretty nice stuff - NARS, MAC, Makeup Forever - and I've settled on tinted lipbalm when I'm with a guy and I save the movie star moments for flying solo or a girls night or whatever. But I hate transforming into a frumpy girlfriend person, and damnit!, I have some nice lipstick.

Any suggestions? Good lipstains? I haven't had much luck with lipstains, but I'd be willing to give it a shot.
posted by ablazingsaddle to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (27 answers total) 50 users marked this as a favorite
This is a good lipstick sealant. The one in the black bottle that they sell at Sephora is not. MAC Pro Longwear lipstick plus the gloss coat is fairly kissproof.

I am old and married so I am out of the habit of smooching with my lipstick on, but in my dating days I used to just take my lipstick off before smoochery occurred or was likely to occur.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:59 AM on March 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

Honestly? I just don't really worry about it.

Most of the time when I expect to be smooching a lot, I wear a neutral/light lipstick or tinted lip balm that fades well so I don't have to worry about reapplying immediately after it gets rubbed off. But if I am wearing a bright lipstick and my husband wants to kiss, that's his decision and he knows the consequences will be him wearing the same color too!
posted by joan_holloway at 11:01 AM on March 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, and the Cover Girl Outlast lipcolor is pretty kissproof; I wore it for my dad's funeral and it left nary a mark on the dozens of family and friends' cheeks be-smooched. Including the priest's!
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:01 AM on March 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

I am fond of the Outlast for not leaving itself all over faces/drinking vessels. Ideally the gloss will have worn off a tad before smooching starts.

But a handkerchief would work, too - either for dabbing yourself beforehand or the other person afterwards.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:06 AM on March 9, 2012

I use the new 12, 16 or 18 hour lipsticks, which you put on, wait for a minute, then put on a gloss or balm topcoat. They last a delightfully long time, and they don't rub off on kissees.
posted by rosa at 11:07 AM on March 9, 2012

I seriously don't worry about it. I've never had someone refuse to kiss me because I was wearing red lipstick. The truth is, by the time the making out is happening, half of my lipstick has worn off anyway (on glasses, or napkins), so I just don't reapply.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 11:09 AM on March 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

If you brush cornstarch on your lips that will make your lipstick stay. I don't know how well it holds up to making out but it wont come off when drinking/a peck on the cheek/wiping one's mouth.
posted by FatRabbit at 11:15 AM on March 9, 2012

Any lipstick tha tgets on a guy with public-appropriate kissing is almost unnoticeabel if they just rub their lips after.

Any serious make out sessions take place in private (right?) and who cares where lipstick goes then =)
posted by WeekendJen at 11:16 AM on March 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

when i worked 10 hour days, running this way and that, and didn't want to reapply all day or have the lipstick come off on various things in the portrait studio, i'd put a bit of blush on the top of the lipstick. seemed to make it stay all day and i didn't smear it on my boyfriend at the time.
posted by nadawi at 11:18 AM on March 9, 2012

Hey, I also love bright, pigmented lipstick and making out! Usually I just blot most of the lipstick off before kissing commences, which is easy enough to do with a napkin at dinner or in the bathroom or whatever.

If I want to look romantic or flushed or what have you ("lol") without the lipstick look, I really like the NYC brand 16 hour lipstains (yes, drugstore, but really good quality for the price) and also Benefit Benetint. You can top with a little Aquaphor or Vaseline or other jelly-texture balm of your choice for moisture and a bit of shine and it will do the double duty of moisturizing the dude's lips for even more excellent kissing.
posted by superfluousm at 11:18 AM on March 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Back in the dating days, I used to joke with mrgood that a woman puts perfume everywhere she wants to be kissed, and lipstick everywhere she doesn't.

For the daily kisses when I'm sending him off to work in the morning or welcoming him home, doing the old trick of putting a tissue over the lipstick and then powdering through that after applying it works for me. I can give him a few smooches without much transfer. I sometimes wear a stain or pencil as a layer under my favourite red (MAC Dubonnet). My grandmother always told me a lady does a gentle blot on her napkin before every sip from a glass, so as to minimize lipstick and greasy mouth marks, so I do that. It keeps the wear even, so when you're eating greasy food, you don't end up with the lipstick ring around the edges.

We tend not to kiss beyond a peck here and there out on dates because we're old and boring now, so when it's time for me to be really kissing on him, I'll find a moment to blot, check my teeth and be ready to move along without too much carnage. Once upon a time, lipstick stains on his underwear ...erm...collar were considered a prize. Now, I consider them a date with some OxiClean. Sigh.
posted by peagood at 11:36 AM on March 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm with a woman, not a man, and I'm a prolific lipstick wearer. It goes a little like this:

1. When I'm expecting a lot of lip action, I wear a lipstick that's built for that kind of thing, like MAC's Pro Longwear or one of those two-step deals. Or I switch up my makeup look so that the focus is on my eyes and the lips are more nude, and I get by with a tinted balm.

2. If I want to wear a messymessy lipstick, she's courteously respectful and kisses my hands, cheeks, forehead, etc. til later, when it doesn't matter.

3. To make the messymessy lipstick less messy, I apply it over a full coating of nude or clear lipliner, blot, then powder lightly. I apply it again, then use a sealer. This feels VERY FUNNY, but it looks fine. When it wears off, it's sometimes uneven, so remember to glance at a mirror every so often.
posted by houseofdanie at 11:37 AM on March 9, 2012

I definitely missed out some crucial girl lessons, but what kind of powder should I use?
posted by ablazingsaddle at 11:45 AM on March 9, 2012

Yeah, this Covergirl Outlast stuff is the only lipstick I will ever buy ever again. I am far too lazy to use anything else.

Seriously, if I put this on before going out to a bar at night, I will wake up with it still on. It is very disconcerting at 10am to look in the mirror and see bright pink lips. Highly recommended.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:46 AM on March 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

Speaking as the recipient of lipstick kisses, I have always seen lipstick on my collar/cheek/wherever more as a badge of honor, not something to worry about. And, as was mentioned, the kissing usually happens later in the evening anyway, when it really isn't an issue.
posted by Forktine at 11:48 AM on March 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

i am a bright lipstick wearer. by the time one gets around to kissing—say after dinner and some drinks usually (even after another application)—the lipstick has usually become a stain at the most. so i don't really worry about it.
posted by violetk at 12:07 PM on March 9, 2012

Odd male chiming in here - from my POV, the problem is that few things make me want to kiss an SO more than her brightly-lipsticked lips... which is what the lipstick is supposed to do.

And, then, if I do, she has to retouch before we can go out. Rinse. Repeat. D'oh!
posted by IAmBroom at 12:12 PM on March 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I have no issues with being kissed by someone (namely my wife) wearing lipstick. I think it would be a problem if it started getting on the collar of a white shirt, but how often does that problem come up?
posted by KokuRyu at 12:14 PM on March 9, 2012

Little bit of a hijack - for those who wear the Outlast lipstick, how the hell do you keep it on while eating?! It stays on great for me otherwise, but if I eat anything with even a hint of oil, it starts flaking/peeling in the nastiest way, and it isn't very conducive to touch ups...
posted by sarahsynonymous at 12:15 PM on March 9, 2012

Revlon ColorStay Overtime stays put better than anything else I've tried (and the red color is amazing), although it ends up being much thicker than most tube lipsticks and kind of flakes off after a while.
posted by quiet coyote at 12:55 PM on March 9, 2012

Came in to recommend Revlon ColorStay, known in my circle as "Ho Lipstick" for its ability to withstand blow jobs.

All of these bombproof lipsticks can be hard on the lips, so exfoliate (rub lips briskly with a washcloth) and moisturize before you apply.

Also, heavy or repeated coats of the Revlon tend to ball up and feel unpleasant. Try using it as a stain -- apply lightly and blot before applying the gloss.
posted by ottereroticist at 1:44 PM on March 9, 2012 [9 favorites]

Whatever product you use, apply it with a lip brush.
posted by jgirl at 2:32 PM on March 9, 2012

Thanks, guys! So many great answers. I will perform some highly scientific experiments and report back with results.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 3:22 PM on March 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Any powder will help set a lipstick. Talc, clear mineral powder, cornstarch, blush, whatever. It's the powdery texture that fixes it. I occasionally use a matching eyeshadow for serious punch.

But really, get a lip sealant. There's lots of brands out there - I like the Rimmel LipSeal, but they're all basically going to do the same thing. You just paint it over your lippy and away you go. You can use any colour you like then without having to worry about it smudging. Cheap crappy brands with gorgeous colour can be magically transformed into long wearers, you can cover your mug with glitter, you name it. It's a miracle product and it's a must have in my toolkit.
posted by Jilder at 10:39 PM on March 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

I've been using the lipstick mentioned in your one favorite so far, Revlon's ColorStay, for yeeeeaaaaaarsss. Seriously, I remember buying this shit with my tips when I was hustlin' tables at Kountry Folks at age 15. Sometimes I take full on showers, come out, and I still have full lipstick on.

The only other lipstick I've been able to touch is Sephora's house brand lipstain. It's not as amazing, but once dry it doesn't peck off. I might not suck on a dude's white collar with it, but I wouldn't suck on someone's collar anyway, and I date filthy bike hipsters in sweat-soaked t-shirts, anyway.
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:31 AM on March 10, 2012

I'm a non-lipstick-wearing male. The GF wears whatever lipstick she wants, it washes out of my clothes and off me. I don't care. If she's just put it on and it's a bit sticky (I forget which brand it is that is the stickier one, it may be lip stain and not lipstick) and she kisses either my lips or face, I'll notice it. But aside from that, not a issue at all.

And if you're really getting intimate with someone and there's kissing all over, who cares if it smudges? He might even like the smudged makeup/tousled hair look.

You're over thinking this.
posted by Brian Puccio at 7:18 AM on March 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

Revlon's ColorStay Liquid Lipstick last through a bowl of pho, lots of kissing, and it started to flake off only when things got, erm, raunchy. Ho lipstick indeed.

I haven't tried the lipstick sealants yet, but I'd like to give them a shot, because as much I appreciate the Revlon Liquid Lipstick's staying power, I don't like frosty finishes, and they were all too frosted/sparkly for my taste.

And hey dudes? I'm not asking if you have a problem being kissed by someone with lipstick. It's my make-up, and I want to it to look nice/not get all over the place. I know you all mean well, but holy mansplaining, batman!

Thanks for the great answers from people who actually wear lipstick. I can't believe I've never used powder to set lipstick before! As I said, I missed some crucial girl lessons.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 10:59 AM on March 11, 2012 [3 favorites]

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