Making Room for Baby Weight
February 26, 2012 7:10 AM Subscribe
Please hope me prepare for pregnancy this year. 36 years old, 40lbs overweight. I know I need to lose weight, but I'd also like to start trying sooner rather than later because of my age. I know there are no quick fixes, but I still want one.
My husband and I got married in December, but have been together for 4.5 years. We would like to start trying for a baby in April. I know about vitamins and folate and quitting alcohol and caffeine. I have started to do this. I drink one or two cups of coffee a day (more on the weekends when we are lazing around the house) and two glasses of wine each evening. This will stop in April.
My main problem is that I'm 5'3" and about 40lbs overweight. If I gain 30lbs in pregnancy, I will be 200lbs. That's not okay. I need to lose weight before we begin trying to conceive without depleting my body of things baby will need. I believe in the science behind low carb diets, but have a hard time sticking to them.
I need to get serious about this but cannot find the willpower. Please hope me.
I have read various TTC sites and can't stomach them. They're all pink and full of people who are always offering to sprinkle baby dust on each other. No thank you.
My husband and I got married in December, but have been together for 4.5 years. We would like to start trying for a baby in April. I know about vitamins and folate and quitting alcohol and caffeine. I have started to do this. I drink one or two cups of coffee a day (more on the weekends when we are lazing around the house) and two glasses of wine each evening. This will stop in April.
My main problem is that I'm 5'3" and about 40lbs overweight. If I gain 30lbs in pregnancy, I will be 200lbs. That's not okay. I need to lose weight before we begin trying to conceive without depleting my body of things baby will need. I believe in the science behind low carb diets, but have a hard time sticking to them.
I need to get serious about this but cannot find the willpower. Please hope me.
I have read various TTC sites and can't stomach them. They're all pink and full of people who are always offering to sprinkle baby dust on each other. No thank you.
It seems like sensible weight loss and preparing to conceive can go hand in hand. If you let nutrient-rich vegetables and fruits dominate your diet and opt for low-fat dairy and meats and whole grains, you should be good to go on both fronts.
posted by lakeroon at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by lakeroon at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2012 [7 favorites]
I'm your height and have been pregnant twice. I was also probably 20 - 30 lbs overweight with my first child and 15-20 lbs overweight with my second. Weight is a weird thing during pregnancy. With my son I gained about 25 lbs. With my daughter I gained about 15.
Eat right, continue to exercise as you have been until it's no longer comfortable, and don't stress about the weight thing too much. What thing I recommend is once you are pregnant and have a care provider you trust (I recommend midwives over OBs), keep a diet log for two weeks and bring it in. My midwife had me do this and she was able to comment on some areas that could use a little help but overall said I was doing fine --- even though I really didn't do much differently during pregnancy except start to buy protein bars.
You may gain 60 lbs during pregnancy, you may not gain more than 10. How your body reacts to pregnancy and what it will need to best support the baby you won't know until you are pregnant. Everyone is different.
As for the coffee, I cut coffee out completely during my first trimester and went back to one cup/day in my second. And while not recommended in the US, I will admit to having some beer and wine very, very occasionally during pregnancy. Many medical professionals in other countries don't take the same approach to alcohol during pregnancy as the US does.
posted by zizzle at 7:25 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
Eat right, continue to exercise as you have been until it's no longer comfortable, and don't stress about the weight thing too much. What thing I recommend is once you are pregnant and have a care provider you trust (I recommend midwives over OBs), keep a diet log for two weeks and bring it in. My midwife had me do this and she was able to comment on some areas that could use a little help but overall said I was doing fine --- even though I really didn't do much differently during pregnancy except start to buy protein bars.
You may gain 60 lbs during pregnancy, you may not gain more than 10. How your body reacts to pregnancy and what it will need to best support the baby you won't know until you are pregnant. Everyone is different.
As for the coffee, I cut coffee out completely during my first trimester and went back to one cup/day in my second. And while not recommended in the US, I will admit to having some beer and wine very, very occasionally during pregnancy. Many medical professionals in other countries don't take the same approach to alcohol during pregnancy as the US does.
posted by zizzle at 7:25 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
Realizing that this hits differently in different people, but when I once cut out alcohol for a few months I lost weight almost instantly. So you could try quitting now.
posted by Namlit at 7:27 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Namlit at 7:27 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
I believe in the science behind low carb diets, but have a hard time sticking to them.
What made this part easiest for me was not just not have bread, pasta, carby snacks, or beer in the house, and to always bring breakfast/lunch to work.
posted by rtha at 7:34 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
What made this part easiest for me was not just not have bread, pasta, carby snacks, or beer in the house, and to always bring breakfast/lunch to work.
posted by rtha at 7:34 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
Talk to your ob/gyn. I of course can't judge without knowing your specific situation, but it's possible that the weights you're talking about are more a risk to your vanity than to your pregnancy, and as long as you're eating plenty of fruits and vegetables, etc., etc., you're good to go as you are.
posted by Andrhia at 7:35 AM on February 26, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by Andrhia at 7:35 AM on February 26, 2012 [7 favorites]
When I got pregnant at age 35 with the help of a reproductive endocrinologist, I weighed 247 pounds. At our first consultation, he told me that he was not concerned about my weight, except that he wanted it to have been stable for at least a year, with no big gains or losses. (Honestly, I don't know why! I wish I'd asked him what the problem might be with big weight changes.) I got pregnant in one month. At age 38, weighing about 10 pounds more, I again got pregnant in one month.
I know that some women who have had trouble getting pregnant report that they are able to become pregnant after losing weight, but I wouldn't assume that you need to lose weight before you'll be able to get pregnant. I found the Plus-Size Pregnancy website really helpful before and during my pregnancies.
posted by not that girl at 7:37 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I know that some women who have had trouble getting pregnant report that they are able to become pregnant after losing weight, but I wouldn't assume that you need to lose weight before you'll be able to get pregnant. I found the Plus-Size Pregnancy website really helpful before and during my pregnancies.
posted by not that girl at 7:37 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
What zizzle said--I think bodies during pregnancy vary so much. I was 150 lbs when I got pregnant, 210 lbs when I gave birth (!!!), lost something like 20 lbs as a result of the birth (they claim that you will not lose more than ten, but whatever), and am now, with a one month old baby, at about 180, which is what I weighed for most of high school and college. (I still have no real idea how I lost thirty pounds in grad school.)
I was sort of horrified by how much weight I gained while pregnant (again, most of what you read will tell you you're only supposed to gain 25 lbs or so), but you know, it really turned out fine.
I drank coffee--though not usually more than a cup a day, which was all I wanted at that point--throughout my pregnancy with my midwife's blessing. I also occasionally drank wine, though again, I found I didn't really want very much--a glass a couple times a month was more than enough.
I'd focus on the eating things that are good for you and on exercising as you are able. Swimming while I was pregnant was the best thing I did--it was often the only time I felt comfortable. But most of all, just take it easy. Your body will figure out what you and the baby need. And good luck!
posted by newrambler at 7:38 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
I was sort of horrified by how much weight I gained while pregnant (again, most of what you read will tell you you're only supposed to gain 25 lbs or so), but you know, it really turned out fine.
I drank coffee--though not usually more than a cup a day, which was all I wanted at that point--throughout my pregnancy with my midwife's blessing. I also occasionally drank wine, though again, I found I didn't really want very much--a glass a couple times a month was more than enough.
I'd focus on the eating things that are good for you and on exercising as you are able. Swimming while I was pregnant was the best thing I did--it was often the only time I felt comfortable. But most of all, just take it easy. Your body will figure out what you and the baby need. And good luck!
posted by newrambler at 7:38 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
It's currently almost the start of March. If you start trying to conceive in April, you're looking at 4-6 weeks to lose weight. If you lose weight at a healthy rate of 1-2 pounds a week, you would lose 4-12 pounds. You're still going to be overweight when you start trying to conceive. I'm saying this not to be harsh, but to encourage you to move away from a crash dieting mentality and start thinking about your health overall.
You sound a bit desperate and panicked about your weight and how pregnancy will affect it. But lots of overweight women have healthy pregnancies and babies. I was terrified of weight gain and changes to my body before I got pregnant. To my surprise, the weight gain so far hasn't bothered me much. I think it's because it feels so different from fat. I have a bit more body fat than before, but the main change is this big hard lump in my abdomen-it may look like fat to other people, but it is obviously not that to me.
Take a look at the forums on alt dot life, which are free from pink and baby dust.
Another thing I have done is not weigh myself while pregnant, and I found a doctor who doesn't monitor my weight. Who cares if you weigh 200 pounds if you are healthy? It's very hard to control what you eat during pregnancy when it's common to feel really sick and disgusted by food and hungry at the same time, so maybe it's better to let that worry go.
It might really help you to work with a dietitian to develop a healthy eating plan for trying to conceive and pregnancy. This could help you lose weight slowly but not threaten your health.
posted by medusa at 7:40 AM on February 26, 2012 [11 favorites]
You sound a bit desperate and panicked about your weight and how pregnancy will affect it. But lots of overweight women have healthy pregnancies and babies. I was terrified of weight gain and changes to my body before I got pregnant. To my surprise, the weight gain so far hasn't bothered me much. I think it's because it feels so different from fat. I have a bit more body fat than before, but the main change is this big hard lump in my abdomen-it may look like fat to other people, but it is obviously not that to me.
Take a look at the forums on alt dot life, which are free from pink and baby dust.
Another thing I have done is not weigh myself while pregnant, and I found a doctor who doesn't monitor my weight. Who cares if you weigh 200 pounds if you are healthy? It's very hard to control what you eat during pregnancy when it's common to feel really sick and disgusted by food and hungry at the same time, so maybe it's better to let that worry go.
It might really help you to work with a dietitian to develop a healthy eating plan for trying to conceive and pregnancy. This could help you lose weight slowly but not threaten your health.
posted by medusa at 7:40 AM on February 26, 2012 [11 favorites]
at your BMI, the recommendation is actually to shoot for 11 to 20 lbs (this is doable, I swear!). you are at a higher risk for gestational diabetes right now carrying extra weight, and some other stuff, which is seriously no fun (that's the stick for motivation). your healthcare provider should screen you for that at your first visit, which does involve drinking a majorly disgusting sugary syrup thing.
the carrot for motivation is that losing even a little weight and getting exercise can seriously, really help your fertility! :)
I know weight loss and these kinds of lifestyle changes can be so daunting, don't overwhelm yourself about thinking about such a big total end goal (40 lbs!!! april!!). There's major health benefits just losing 7 to 10% of your total weight (~like 10 to 20lbs I'm assuming?), and even walking 30 minutes a day (you can break this up into two 15 minute brisk walks in the day and still get great benefits from this, as well as being easier for most people to schedule).
Because you're planning on conceiving in April, I would strongly recommend that you start taking a prenatal vitamin, or at a minimum folic acid, right now -- getting that on board at the very, very beginning of pregnancy is best, and taking a prenatal vitamin now might help your concerns about the baby not getting enough nutrients/etc.
my concern with a low carb diet if you maintain it during pregnancy 1. that your insulin/tolerance to insulin/glucose all changes a lot during pregnancy, over the course of the different trimesters, and 2. cutting out complex carbs during pregnancy strikes me as concerning because fruits and vegetables are a lot of carbohydrates, and you want both these food groups, especially when constipation strikes.
breastfeeding later often really helps afterwards, you actually need more extra calories for breastfeeding than you do during your pregnancy, so it's easier to burn off weight for a lot of women.
let me give you some presumptive congratulations! :)
(ps, one cup of coffee a day isn't going to hurt.)
posted by circle_b at 7:45 AM on February 26, 2012
the carrot for motivation is that losing even a little weight and getting exercise can seriously, really help your fertility! :)
I know weight loss and these kinds of lifestyle changes can be so daunting, don't overwhelm yourself about thinking about such a big total end goal (40 lbs!!! april!!). There's major health benefits just losing 7 to 10% of your total weight (~like 10 to 20lbs I'm assuming?), and even walking 30 minutes a day (you can break this up into two 15 minute brisk walks in the day and still get great benefits from this, as well as being easier for most people to schedule).
Because you're planning on conceiving in April, I would strongly recommend that you start taking a prenatal vitamin, or at a minimum folic acid, right now -- getting that on board at the very, very beginning of pregnancy is best, and taking a prenatal vitamin now might help your concerns about the baby not getting enough nutrients/etc.
my concern with a low carb diet if you maintain it during pregnancy 1. that your insulin/tolerance to insulin/glucose all changes a lot during pregnancy, over the course of the different trimesters, and 2. cutting out complex carbs during pregnancy strikes me as concerning because fruits and vegetables are a lot of carbohydrates, and you want both these food groups, especially when constipation strikes.
breastfeeding later often really helps afterwards, you actually need more extra calories for breastfeeding than you do during your pregnancy, so it's easier to burn off weight for a lot of women.
let me give you some presumptive congratulations! :)
(ps, one cup of coffee a day isn't going to hurt.)
posted by circle_b at 7:45 AM on February 26, 2012
Why not focus on incorporating some healthy habits now (why wait until April?). For instance, you could cut out booze on weekdays. You could start an exercise program (but don't be too ambitious that you get discouraged). You could start cooking more healthy home-cooked meals. I guess my point is not to look at it as starting a diet... And your husband can help here - you're lucky to have a partner, so have him help you stick to your new habits (and they'll really stick if he commits to them too)...
Good luck to you!
posted by BobbyVan at 7:49 AM on February 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
Good luck to you!
posted by BobbyVan at 7:49 AM on February 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
Seconding altdotlife. Try not to get too hung up on numbers while you're pregnant. I gained, by the end of my pregnancy, 60 or so lbs, and a lot if it was fluid retention at the end. It's alarming to see those numbers but it's not necessarily fat that you're gaining (not that fluid retention is any healthier).
posted by otherwordlyglow at 7:54 AM on February 26, 2012
posted by otherwordlyglow at 7:54 AM on February 26, 2012
I was fat during pregnancy, and actually lost weight. My doc said that many overweight women don't gain as much weight because they already have a layer of fat around their internal organs. He said one reason the body packs on weight during pregnancy is to provide a cushion for everything shifting around and the stress of childbirth. Who knows? Also, when I was pregnant, my body told me exactly what and how much to eat, absolutely unlike my normal self (which can always always eat more). It felt great, and I felt sturdy and strong. Good luck! Take a multivitamin with folate, and a B complex to support your luteal phase while you are trying to get pregnant.
posted by Malla at 8:00 AM on February 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
posted by Malla at 8:00 AM on February 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
I too am kind of down on the "starting in April" thing. That's an awful lot of lead time -- enough to build it all up to being too much, or ... going too easy on yourself! Start with Just One Thing right now. One glass of wine, not two. No "incidental" sugar (sugar just for sugar's sake, not found in other foods). Nothing white (really!). Plate it, but cut your portion exactly in half BEFORE you take one bite, ziploc or tupperware it, and go back and eat your meal. Forget willpower. Plant behaviorial hacks!
posted by thinkpiece at 8:09 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by thinkpiece at 8:09 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
I would try to make changes that you can keep up during pregnancy. So, even though I am a big fan of low-carb and my wife just lost 50 lbs in 8 months by low-carbing, it's not something you can really do safely while pregnant (not if you are a low-carb beginner, anyway), so I eat a totally different diet. You say you want to start trying in April, that's great but keep in mind that it may happen right away or it may take a few months - being on a food regimen that you can keep regardless of if you are pregnant or not (high fibre, low sugar, whole foods) will help you lose weight while you're trying, and will be good nutrition for you and baby when it's conceived.
I started trying to conceive at a much higher weight than you, and have had a fantastic pregnancy. No varicose veins, barely any new stretch marks, no gestational diabetes (I didn't even have to go back for the two hour test - I was clear immediately), blood pressure perfect... so also keep in mind that while weight increases risk of many things, it isn't an automatic sentence. What I've done to keep my weight off my mind is not track it (the doctor weighs me but I don't pay attention) try to eat healthy foods, and focus on the fact that everything is going well. I cut coffee down to one cup in the first trimester (and then decaf after that) and now drink two or three cups every day (I'm 36 weeks)
posted by arcticwoman at 8:15 AM on February 26, 2012
I started trying to conceive at a much higher weight than you, and have had a fantastic pregnancy. No varicose veins, barely any new stretch marks, no gestational diabetes (I didn't even have to go back for the two hour test - I was clear immediately), blood pressure perfect... so also keep in mind that while weight increases risk of many things, it isn't an automatic sentence. What I've done to keep my weight off my mind is not track it (the doctor weighs me but I don't pay attention) try to eat healthy foods, and focus on the fact that everything is going well. I cut coffee down to one cup in the first trimester (and then decaf after that) and now drink two or three cups every day (I'm 36 weeks)
posted by arcticwoman at 8:15 AM on February 26, 2012
I was about 50 lbs overweight at the start of both my pregnancies; I only gained about 18 lbs during my first pregnancy and for various reasons wound up losing weight during my second. It's entirely possible to have a good, comfortable, healthy pregnancy even if you're overweight. I'm not sure that "this is not OK" and "I need to lose weight" (emphasis on "need") are helpful motivators or the right head-space to be in. If you were to wind up weighing 200 lbs at the end of your pregnancy, that would be OK! And YOU are OK! Accepting and loving yourself completely make it easier to make the right choices that lead to a healthier lifestyle.
BobbyVan and others have good advice--start making small changes toward leading a healthier lifestyle, and even if this doesn't result in sudden or dramatic weight-loss, get busy with the getting busy in April!
If you do only one thing, add regular exercise to your routine. Purely anecdotal, I know, but with my second pregnancy, especially, I was getting a ton of exercise during it and it pretty good shape, and once I got past the morning sickness, the pregnancy was soooo easy--I hardly felt pregnant.
posted by drlith at 8:39 AM on February 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
BobbyVan and others have good advice--start making small changes toward leading a healthier lifestyle, and even if this doesn't result in sudden or dramatic weight-loss, get busy with the getting busy in April!
If you do only one thing, add regular exercise to your routine. Purely anecdotal, I know, but with my second pregnancy, especially, I was getting a ton of exercise during it and it pretty good shape, and once I got past the morning sickness, the pregnancy was soooo easy--I hardly felt pregnant.
posted by drlith at 8:39 AM on February 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
I was obese prior to both my pregnancies -- Malla is right that, statistically, fat women tend not to gain as much during pregnancy. I gained 17 lbs with my first and 36 lbs with my twins. I ate basically whatever I wanted before I got pregnant, and continued to do so during my pregnancies. I did not limit my intake AT ALL, and yeah, that involved green beans and chicken but also fudge and monkey bread, with excellent stats: no gestational diabetes, no blood pressure increase, minimal bloating, etc and healthy babies at the end.
A lot of the pregnancy weight dropped off within days of delivering, and breastfeeding took care of almost all the rest. I've heard that the body is determined to keep about 7 lbs after each pregnancy, and that sounds about right. The bigger annoyance is that, you may get back to your prior weight, but nothing will be where you left it ;o)
Anecdata: the women I've known who gained 40 - 60 lbs with pregnancy were women who very weight conscious before getting pregnant (experienced yo-yo dieters). I don't know if it was them giving themselves permission to eat, or the body being hyper to hang on to every calorie during this time of need, but . . .
The body prioritizes the baby over your own health, and will take what it needs from you: it's your job to make sure you provide it with the resources. You don't have to stick to a low carb diet, you can just decide to make lower carb choices most (like 80-90%) of the time -- it still helps your body to be healthier, even if you don't do it perfectly. Likewise, exercise may or may not affect your weight but it makes you healthier and builds stamina for the birth (do lots of asian squats!).
posted by MeiraV at 8:41 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
A lot of the pregnancy weight dropped off within days of delivering, and breastfeeding took care of almost all the rest. I've heard that the body is determined to keep about 7 lbs after each pregnancy, and that sounds about right. The bigger annoyance is that, you may get back to your prior weight, but nothing will be where you left it ;o)
Anecdata: the women I've known who gained 40 - 60 lbs with pregnancy were women who very weight conscious before getting pregnant (experienced yo-yo dieters). I don't know if it was them giving themselves permission to eat, or the body being hyper to hang on to every calorie during this time of need, but . . .
The body prioritizes the baby over your own health, and will take what it needs from you: it's your job to make sure you provide it with the resources. You don't have to stick to a low carb diet, you can just decide to make lower carb choices most (like 80-90%) of the time -- it still helps your body to be healthier, even if you don't do it perfectly. Likewise, exercise may or may not affect your weight but it makes you healthier and builds stamina for the birth (do lots of asian squats!).
posted by MeiraV at 8:41 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Being over 200 lbs when you give birth is fine. I know, as I've done it twice, with perfectly healthy pregnancies - no sugar issues, nothing. If you want to eat healthier, with more nutrient dense foods, then by all means do it, but crash dieting and fat-shaming now is unnecessary. Relax.
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:17 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 9:17 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
Nthing tons of great advice above.
A good ob/gyn/midwife will NOT let you stress about how much you weigh (unless you're having weight-related complications like high blood pressure or diabetes, etc).
A few things to consider, more as healthy lifestyle choices rather than weight-related:
if you don't already regularly exercise, start now. I was pregnant three times, and I did low-key swimming, easy yoga and lazy walks for Kids #1 and 2 but for Kid #3 I was running up to 5k 5x weekly. It made a HUGE difference in how good I felt during the third pregnancy. So definitely exercise and sweat as long as you have professional approval and start NOW;
the jury is really out on caffeine and alcohol (what I mean is that you can find plenty of conflicting "I _____ and my baby is fine" stories), but when I was pregnant I didn't want to take any chances, so I stopped drinking both; and
the last option to consider is joining Weight Watchers. You can safely make better eating choices (there's really no dieting involved as much as understanding healthy eating) as a pregnant member and you don't have a weekly weigh-in. It's a good way to better get a handle on portion sizes and ensuring you're getting enough fiber and colorful food into your day.
posted by kinetic at 9:17 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
A good ob/gyn/midwife will NOT let you stress about how much you weigh (unless you're having weight-related complications like high blood pressure or diabetes, etc).
A few things to consider, more as healthy lifestyle choices rather than weight-related:
if you don't already regularly exercise, start now. I was pregnant three times, and I did low-key swimming, easy yoga and lazy walks for Kids #1 and 2 but for Kid #3 I was running up to 5k 5x weekly. It made a HUGE difference in how good I felt during the third pregnancy. So definitely exercise and sweat as long as you have professional approval and start NOW;
the jury is really out on caffeine and alcohol (what I mean is that you can find plenty of conflicting "I _____ and my baby is fine" stories), but when I was pregnant I didn't want to take any chances, so I stopped drinking both; and
the last option to consider is joining Weight Watchers. You can safely make better eating choices (there's really no dieting involved as much as understanding healthy eating) as a pregnant member and you don't have a weekly weigh-in. It's a good way to better get a handle on portion sizes and ensuring you're getting enough fiber and colorful food into your day.
posted by kinetic at 9:17 AM on February 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
**for the last 2 months of the 3rd pregnancy, I ran a lot more slowly and with a Belly Band.
posted by kinetic at 9:19 AM on February 26, 2012
posted by kinetic at 9:19 AM on February 26, 2012
First of all, it's great that you're approaching this logically and with your health in mind. I don't think April is "too much lead time". April is only 5 weeks away!
Talk to your OB about a preconception appointment where you can discuss these concerns. As you know, at 36, you're already considered to be at above average risk for pregnancy-related issues; I say this not to add to your stress and fears, but to point out that a preconception appointment is justified for that reason alone. For example, your OB would probably point out that 30 lbs may be too much for an obese person to gain; reasonable pregnancy weight gain might be closer to 20 lbs. You also may not need to give up coffee entirely. Etc.
Finally, if you gave up the wine now, you'd be cutting out about 300 calories a day (assuming a 6 oz. pour per glass). That's huge! Is that something that's doable? You'll have to give it up, anyways - could you take that step now?
Good luck to the both of you!
posted by pecanpies at 9:25 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Talk to your OB about a preconception appointment where you can discuss these concerns. As you know, at 36, you're already considered to be at above average risk for pregnancy-related issues; I say this not to add to your stress and fears, but to point out that a preconception appointment is justified for that reason alone. For example, your OB would probably point out that 30 lbs may be too much for an obese person to gain; reasonable pregnancy weight gain might be closer to 20 lbs. You also may not need to give up coffee entirely. Etc.
Finally, if you gave up the wine now, you'd be cutting out about 300 calories a day (assuming a 6 oz. pour per glass). That's huge! Is that something that's doable? You'll have to give it up, anyways - could you take that step now?
Good luck to the both of you!
posted by pecanpies at 9:25 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I highly recommend taking up yoga. Especially since you may have lost some of your youthful flexibility. It'll help you stay healthy and get in shape. Plus, it'll be easy for you to switch to a pregnancy yoga class when you need to.
Yoga made my pregnancies more comfortable and really helped with the actual deliveries. It was also very helpful when it came to losing the baby weight. I could put the baby on a blanket next to my mat and they could sit and watch me while I did my work outs. By the time they were toddling they would all join in. Pretty cute!
posted by TooFewShoes at 9:43 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Yoga made my pregnancies more comfortable and really helped with the actual deliveries. It was also very helpful when it came to losing the baby weight. I could put the baby on a blanket next to my mat and they could sit and watch me while I did my work outs. By the time they were toddling they would all join in. Pretty cute!
posted by TooFewShoes at 9:43 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I am exactly in your situation (35, and about 30 lbs over my happy weight which incidentally is still about 20 lbs above ideal), and my OB says that I'm just fine. She recommends starting to slowly exercise (which I've been bad about, admittedly) and to eat healthier (which I've been doing). For overweight or obese women, the recommendations for weight gain are less (I think it's 15 lbs if you are considered an obese BMI) and that it just kind of naturally happens that way. My OB also said not to diet while trying to conceive and definitely not while pregnant - rather, just try to live a healthier lifestyle.
Also, I have plenty of healthy friends at "normal" BMIs who gained 60lbs of weight to bring them over 200 lbs. while pregnant and they turned out just fine. So don't stress about that 200 lb. number. Happens to a lot of people.
posted by echo0720 at 10:06 AM on February 26, 2012
Also, I have plenty of healthy friends at "normal" BMIs who gained 60lbs of weight to bring them over 200 lbs. while pregnant and they turned out just fine. So don't stress about that 200 lb. number. Happens to a lot of people.
posted by echo0720 at 10:06 AM on February 26, 2012
Someone above mentioned low-fat dairy, so I wanted to add a caveat. There is a study which shows that women drinking regular high-fat dairy conceive at higher rates than low-fat dairy drinkers. Maybe a small n, but at an advanced maternal age you want all the help you can get. I think making major changes to your diet is the kind of stress that may make conception more difficult. Definitely think about how to add more vegetables/fruits to your diet, as those micronutrients are necessary for healthy fetal development, but don't stress about being overweight and pregnant.
posted by decathexis at 11:03 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by decathexis at 11:03 AM on February 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
I lost forty pounds in each of my pregnancies. I was also very heavy to start with, much heavier than you, and I had two almost-textbook pregnancies (SPD in the first, a spot of pre-term labor in the second) and two lightning fast, uncomplicated deliveries. I was AMA for the second one, too.
From my experience, I would focus more on increasing your activity level, your flexibility, and your core strength, as well as making sure your diet moves to whole, nutrient-dense foods and away from white sugar and crap, rather than specifically trying to lose weight. Being active and eating good foods will make a world of difference.
posted by KathrynT at 11:24 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
From my experience, I would focus more on increasing your activity level, your flexibility, and your core strength, as well as making sure your diet moves to whole, nutrient-dense foods and away from white sugar and crap, rather than specifically trying to lose weight. Being active and eating good foods will make a world of difference.
posted by KathrynT at 11:24 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Are we just doing anecdotes now?
I gained 40 pounds with my pregnancy and ended up at 220. I'm back at my prepreg weight now, and my baby is 4 months old.
It was totally okay. Why do you think it won't be okay?
Thirding altdotlife.
posted by purpleclover at 12:49 PM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I gained 40 pounds with my pregnancy and ended up at 220. I'm back at my prepreg weight now, and my baby is 4 months old.
It was totally okay. Why do you think it won't be okay?
Thirding altdotlife.
posted by purpleclover at 12:49 PM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Just eat healthfully. Like you would eat if you were pregnant. Like you want your baby to eat. Putting your body in any kind of starvation mode or carb-free ketosis is going to make it both harder to get pregnant and harder to maintain good health while pregnant. Start a moderate exercise program and eat reasonably. Your starting and ending weights don't matter one iota (and if your OB tells you it does, or even implies it, you need to find a different OB)
Can I add my anecdote? Significantly overweight going into my first pregnancy. Gained 10 lbs total, lost 45 immediately (I ate heartily whilst breastfeeding my 1st for 19 months and gained some weight back)
Significantly overweight going into my second pregnancy (about the same weight I was starting my first pregnancy). Now, at 34 weeks, I've gained 9lbs total.
No high BP, no gestational diabetes, no metabolic disorders, no nothing. Had an extremely low risk pregnancy and homebirth the first time, and things are lining up to be about the same this time around.
posted by LyndsayMW at 2:23 PM on February 26, 2012
Can I add my anecdote? Significantly overweight going into my first pregnancy. Gained 10 lbs total, lost 45 immediately (I ate heartily whilst breastfeeding my 1st for 19 months and gained some weight back)
Significantly overweight going into my second pregnancy (about the same weight I was starting my first pregnancy). Now, at 34 weeks, I've gained 9lbs total.
No high BP, no gestational diabetes, no metabolic disorders, no nothing. Had an extremely low risk pregnancy and homebirth the first time, and things are lining up to be about the same this time around.
posted by LyndsayMW at 2:23 PM on February 26, 2012
Seconding Namlit. I was eking out a slow loss with Weight Watchers, dropped wine and almost overnight lost a bunch more than the calories in the wine would suggest. Like Namlit says, everyone is different, and I know people who got sober and gained weight, but if you are watching your calories to begin with you might find that going alcohol-free gives you a nice surprise.
posted by BibiRose at 3:09 PM on February 26, 2012
posted by BibiRose at 3:09 PM on February 26, 2012
Mod note: Folks, this is specifically about pregnancy and weight loss not general weight loss/healt topics. Please email the OP if you have other comments.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:35 PM on February 26, 2012
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:35 PM on February 26, 2012
I'd recommend that you begin taking prenatal vitamins before you get pregnant, particularly if you're also dieting; the vitamins will help to make up for any nutritional deficiency in your diet. Prenatal vitamins have a greater amount of folate/folic acid than regular vitamins and that particular little jewel is seriously protective of the baby's neurological system, so that's a double benefit.
I think that having a successful and healthy pregnancy is as much about your mental attitude as it is about your weight; if you're ready and excited about having a baby - just go for it. Your weight won't be harmful to the baby and you can always lose it later.
Best of luck on your new adventure.
posted by aryma at 11:11 PM on February 26, 2012
I think that having a successful and healthy pregnancy is as much about your mental attitude as it is about your weight; if you're ready and excited about having a baby - just go for it. Your weight won't be harmful to the baby and you can always lose it later.
Best of luck on your new adventure.
posted by aryma at 11:11 PM on February 26, 2012
From my limited understanding of the most recent research in weight gain and maintenance, certain types of sugar trigger insulin to produce fat. Contrary to popular beliefs, animal fats aren't as bad for you as 1) sugar from fructose and 2) sugar from ethanol (alcohol).
Watch this video. Watch for the part on biochemical chain reactions. UCSF is like the Johns Hopkins of the west coast. He's a doctor. He's a professor. He does research.
Then cut out products that use white sugar and fructose on the label. Stop drinking alcohol. Limit or cut out fruit juices. Sugars in whole fruits are OK because it comes with fiber. Then do what others say: talk to ob/gyn, eat plenty of fruits/veggies/grains.
posted by mild deer at 10:58 AM on February 27, 2012
Watch this video. Watch for the part on biochemical chain reactions. UCSF is like the Johns Hopkins of the west coast. He's a doctor. He's a professor. He does research.
Then cut out products that use white sugar and fructose on the label. Stop drinking alcohol. Limit or cut out fruit juices. Sugars in whole fruits are OK because it comes with fiber. Then do what others say: talk to ob/gyn, eat plenty of fruits/veggies/grains.
posted by mild deer at 10:58 AM on February 27, 2012
It seems like sensible weight loss and preparing to conceive can go hand in hand. If you let nutrient-rich vegetables and fruits dominate your diet and opt for low-fat dairy and meats and whole grains, you should be good to go on both fronts.
This is wrong. Vegetables are great and are a big part of a healthy diet; however, fruit is generally unnecessary. They may be nature's candy, but they are still essentially candy. Most people do not lose bodyfat with a diet focused on whole grains and fruits and low-fat dairy and low-fat meats. This applies to pregnant women, non-pregnant women, and men.
Cut grains, pastas, rice, and sugars from your diet. Meat, fish, eggs, and vegetables are the cornerstones of a healthy diet. I'm not telling you to cut out carbohydrates entirely, just the garbage ones. When you're pregnant you can pound sweet potatoes all day if you want.
Fish oil supplements are magic and I encourage everyone including pregnant women to take them.
Finally, weight training is great for all humans, including pregnant women. You can lift weights basically up until the moment you begin labor, although the intensity is generally lessened as the pregnancy progresses and certain activities are a bad idea: heavy squats, lifts in which you are in a supine position (bench press), fast/jerky olympic lifts, kipping pull-ups, anything involving a valsalva maneuver.
I believe in the science behind low carb diets, but have a hard time sticking to them.
I need to get serious about this but cannot find the willpower. Please hope me.
What helped me is realizing that I can have a huge cheeseburger with blue cheese and bacon for lunch (without the bun of course) and a medium-rare steak with a monster pile of butter-sauteed asparagus for dinner. That sounds - and is - way more appetizing than shitty cereal in skim milk and and low-fat cheese product on whole grain bread.
If you have any questions, message me. Good luck.
posted by a_girl_irl at 7:08 AM on February 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
This is wrong. Vegetables are great and are a big part of a healthy diet; however, fruit is generally unnecessary. They may be nature's candy, but they are still essentially candy. Most people do not lose bodyfat with a diet focused on whole grains and fruits and low-fat dairy and low-fat meats. This applies to pregnant women, non-pregnant women, and men.
Cut grains, pastas, rice, and sugars from your diet. Meat, fish, eggs, and vegetables are the cornerstones of a healthy diet. I'm not telling you to cut out carbohydrates entirely, just the garbage ones. When you're pregnant you can pound sweet potatoes all day if you want.
Fish oil supplements are magic and I encourage everyone including pregnant women to take them.
Finally, weight training is great for all humans, including pregnant women. You can lift weights basically up until the moment you begin labor, although the intensity is generally lessened as the pregnancy progresses and certain activities are a bad idea: heavy squats, lifts in which you are in a supine position (bench press), fast/jerky olympic lifts, kipping pull-ups, anything involving a valsalva maneuver.
I believe in the science behind low carb diets, but have a hard time sticking to them.
I need to get serious about this but cannot find the willpower. Please hope me.
What helped me is realizing that I can have a huge cheeseburger with blue cheese and bacon for lunch (without the bun of course) and a medium-rare steak with a monster pile of butter-sauteed asparagus for dinner. That sounds - and is - way more appetizing than shitty cereal in skim milk and and low-fat cheese product on whole grain bread.
If you have any questions, message me. Good luck.
posted by a_girl_irl at 7:08 AM on February 28, 2012 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you, everyone! And thank you to those who PMed me. I haven't been online much, and I'm sorry that I haven't responded.
We actually haven't started trying until just now and I haven't lost any weight, but my doctor has echoed what everyone on here has said, that she's not worried and it's fine. She's more concerned about my "advanced age". Apparently, I just shouldn't gain as much if I do get pregnant.
So, we'll see how it goes. I'm taking the vitamins and am eating fruits and veggies and am no longer drinking (Boo!).
I still haven't found a good TTC community - alt dot is expensive. If anyone knows of some good communities in Toronto, I'd love to hear about them.
Many thanks,
heffalump
posted by heffalump at 7:28 AM on May 20, 2012
We actually haven't started trying until just now and I haven't lost any weight, but my doctor has echoed what everyone on here has said, that she's not worried and it's fine. She's more concerned about my "advanced age". Apparently, I just shouldn't gain as much if I do get pregnant.
So, we'll see how it goes. I'm taking the vitamins and am eating fruits and veggies and am no longer drinking (Boo!).
I still haven't found a good TTC community - alt dot is expensive. If anyone knows of some good communities in Toronto, I'd love to hear about them.
Many thanks,
heffalump
posted by heffalump at 7:28 AM on May 20, 2012
Eh, I think altdotlife.com's forums are donation-based, meaning you can give them $10/month or whatever if you love it and find an online home there, but registration and using the forum are free.
posted by purpleclover at 9:58 AM on May 21, 2012
posted by purpleclover at 9:58 AM on May 21, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by brown hound at 7:21 AM on February 26, 2012 [1 favorite]