I don't know how to play this game
January 30, 2012 7:08 AM Subscribe
Do you have tips or resources that would help an overly earnest "nice guy" type navigate political maneuverings at work?
A team has been formed for a special project with a fairly substantial budget. I am new to this project and new to working at this level with a budget this large. There are two other members that are clearly trying to take over the project for their own personal benefit. (I mean they want to get each other booted off the team- it's like a money pie that everyone wants control of). I simply want the project to succeed and am being 'courted' by each person. One has even offered writing a line item into the budget to increase my salary. They both want my alliance.
Basically, I have two savvy individuals trying to manipulate me and I'm really in over my head. I've come to see that information is power and consequently have been overcome by distrust. It has even leaked into my relationships with other coworkers who are not on this team, now when I'm asked about something I immediately think why do they want to know that- what's their agenda?
Yet I also know that even though people have their own agendas, they also have good ideas and can make a positive contribution to the team- so what do I do?
It's crazy making! I'm not naturally competitive, I'm a poor liar- I don't seem to have any of the skills associated with being good at this stuff. But I want to be smart and not get bowled over by people. I also don't want to inadvertently screw over other people by being too upfront and honest with untrustworthy people.
So, do you have any tricks or tips for not being an easy mark or on how to resolve these types of power conflicts? Are there books that have helped you deal with similar situations? Are there characters in film/tv that illustrate a skilled but morally good/neutral political navigator?
if you wish to respond privately: pawninthegamemefi@gmail.com
A team has been formed for a special project with a fairly substantial budget. I am new to this project and new to working at this level with a budget this large. There are two other members that are clearly trying to take over the project for their own personal benefit. (I mean they want to get each other booted off the team- it's like a money pie that everyone wants control of). I simply want the project to succeed and am being 'courted' by each person. One has even offered writing a line item into the budget to increase my salary. They both want my alliance.
Basically, I have two savvy individuals trying to manipulate me and I'm really in over my head. I've come to see that information is power and consequently have been overcome by distrust. It has even leaked into my relationships with other coworkers who are not on this team, now when I'm asked about something I immediately think why do they want to know that- what's their agenda?
Yet I also know that even though people have their own agendas, they also have good ideas and can make a positive contribution to the team- so what do I do?
It's crazy making! I'm not naturally competitive, I'm a poor liar- I don't seem to have any of the skills associated with being good at this stuff. But I want to be smart and not get bowled over by people. I also don't want to inadvertently screw over other people by being too upfront and honest with untrustworthy people.
So, do you have any tricks or tips for not being an easy mark or on how to resolve these types of power conflicts? Are there books that have helped you deal with similar situations? Are there characters in film/tv that illustrate a skilled but morally good/neutral political navigator?
if you wish to respond privately: pawninthegamemefi@gmail.com
Tactically, you should conduct as much of your conversations and discussions as possible in the open. In meetings, invite both of these assholes. On email, CC them both. Keep reframing the questions and discussions they have with you in terms of the goal: "How does this help our customers/community/shareholders?" (Or whatever other constituencies they want to serve.
Also, start looking for another job, either by transferring to a less political department, or by leaving the company. Places that reward this kind of behavior become toxic to work at very quickly.
posted by anildash at 9:15 AM on January 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
Also, start looking for another job, either by transferring to a less political department, or by leaving the company. Places that reward this kind of behavior become toxic to work at very quickly.
posted by anildash at 9:15 AM on January 30, 2012 [3 favorites]
anildash - I think "start looking for another job" is jumping the shark a bit here. There is no information the person provided that suggests they should do any such thing.
It's a special project they were put on, so they must be looked at as a valued employee that can provide needed skills to the project. Just because there are politics involved? This kind of problem exists everywhere.
People need to learn to deal with these kinds of problems instead of immediately running away.
posted by rich at 9:33 AM on January 30, 2012 [4 favorites]
It's a special project they were put on, so they must be looked at as a valued employee that can provide needed skills to the project. Just because there are politics involved? This kind of problem exists everywhere.
People need to learn to deal with these kinds of problems instead of immediately running away.
posted by rich at 9:33 AM on January 30, 2012 [4 favorites]
Oh - and resources - I don't have any books handy, but look into organizational behavior books focusing on behavior modification, reward systems, and influence. I'll have to see what is in my bookcase at home for specific titles, though.
posted by rich at 9:35 AM on January 30, 2012
posted by rich at 9:35 AM on January 30, 2012
now when I'm asked about something I immediately think why do they want to know that- what's their agenda?
You're off to a good start.
The most important thing you can do in this situation is keep your integrity intact, both in private and public. I can not stress the importance of that enough.
The seminal book on interpersonal game playing is Games People Play. It looks at things from a more personal level; i.e. how and why the people are playing the games they are. It's not infallible by any means, but it provides an interesting and for many people a useful perspective.
For your work situation in particular, you should find a mentor. Preferably this would be someone further up the management chain than you with more political experience. Ask for a meeting then go in and explain the situation -- you have a political mess developing and you would like some advice from someone with more experience. I think you'll find that most people are happy to give advice, and they'll respect your decision to seek it.
Be advised though: there are ugly compromises you'll need to make and people you'll be offending. Such things come hand in hand with corporate power.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:51 AM on January 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
You're off to a good start.
The most important thing you can do in this situation is keep your integrity intact, both in private and public. I can not stress the importance of that enough.
The seminal book on interpersonal game playing is Games People Play. It looks at things from a more personal level; i.e. how and why the people are playing the games they are. It's not infallible by any means, but it provides an interesting and for many people a useful perspective.
For your work situation in particular, you should find a mentor. Preferably this would be someone further up the management chain than you with more political experience. Ask for a meeting then go in and explain the situation -- you have a political mess developing and you would like some advice from someone with more experience. I think you'll find that most people are happy to give advice, and they'll respect your decision to seek it.
Be advised though: there are ugly compromises you'll need to make and people you'll be offending. Such things come hand in hand with corporate power.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:51 AM on January 30, 2012 [1 favorite]
If I am you, I have meetings with both people independently. The main component of each meeting is to inform them how you will be making decisions. The nugget to drop is that you will be making whatever decisions will be best for the team and whatever decisions will be best for the project.
They want to manipulate you. Tell them how to do that in a way that shapes their behavior for the better. If they are as hell bent on control as you indicate and you tell them to use that motivation for the sake of the project (to manipulate you) then everyone gets back on the same page again...
Things to say/ask:
-I want to make data-driven decisions
-How does that increase our odds of success?
-How will that decision impact the project moving forward?
Constantly make it about the project and not about the people. If everyone has to speak in terms of the project, the people stuff will either bubble to the bottom (if it is not important), or bubble to the top (if it ends up being relevant after all).
posted by milqman at 1:13 PM on January 30, 2012
They want to manipulate you. Tell them how to do that in a way that shapes their behavior for the better. If they are as hell bent on control as you indicate and you tell them to use that motivation for the sake of the project (to manipulate you) then everyone gets back on the same page again...
Things to say/ask:
-I want to make data-driven decisions
-How does that increase our odds of success?
-How will that decision impact the project moving forward?
Constantly make it about the project and not about the people. If everyone has to speak in terms of the project, the people stuff will either bubble to the bottom (if it is not important), or bubble to the top (if it ends up being relevant after all).
posted by milqman at 1:13 PM on January 30, 2012
What you need to do is cultivate what I call "planned obliviousness." Basically, just act as if you have no clue that all of this is going on, while at the same time paying a lot of attention to what is going on. The more people believe that you're either an easy-to-manipulate idiot, or just totally uninterested in any power plays, the more they will (a) make those plays really blatant, because it's not worth the effort to be subtle; or (b) not bother working on you. Also, this gives you cover to continue to act with integrity and do what you think really needs to be done, without pissing people off (as much). They'll be frustrated that you're not going for it, but they won't think you're malicious. And it's always useful to have people underestimate you.
Here's a couple of examples:
You weren't receptive to Coworker A's suggestion of increasing your salary? hah, you thought that was a joke, because it would clearly be kind of inappropriate, wouldn't it? though you sure wouldn't mind winning the lottery! Hmm, let's get back to thinking about how to make [widget].
Oh, Coworker B wants you to write something implying that Coworker A did something wrong? Haha, Coworker B, you're such a ham, you and A have such a great friendly rivalry dynamic, but maybe that would be misunderstood... so let's instead look at X item to do now!
Coworker A thinks you are way more awesome than Coworker B. What a nice compliment, thanks! Although in your opinion you think B is really good at [blah].
Essentially, drive them nuts because you just don't seem to "get" their manipulations, or fall for them. Stay above the fray, and make it seem like you're doing so because you simply don't even realise there is a fray. Of course, to do this, you do have to keep asking yourself what their agenda is, so you spot the manipulations for what they are. Luckily it seems that you are already pretty good at this.
[*] Note that this applies only when people are trying to manipulate you, aren't acting in good faith, or are playing politics in a way that you don't want to engage. Obviously for most situations the normal advice applies: communicate clearly, be professional, etc.
posted by forza at 2:04 PM on January 30, 2012
Here's a couple of examples:
You weren't receptive to Coworker A's suggestion of increasing your salary? hah, you thought that was a joke, because it would clearly be kind of inappropriate, wouldn't it? though you sure wouldn't mind winning the lottery! Hmm, let's get back to thinking about how to make [widget].
Oh, Coworker B wants you to write something implying that Coworker A did something wrong? Haha, Coworker B, you're such a ham, you and A have such a great friendly rivalry dynamic, but maybe that would be misunderstood... so let's instead look at X item to do now!
Coworker A thinks you are way more awesome than Coworker B. What a nice compliment, thanks! Although in your opinion you think B is really good at [blah].
Essentially, drive them nuts because you just don't seem to "get" their manipulations, or fall for them. Stay above the fray, and make it seem like you're doing so because you simply don't even realise there is a fray. Of course, to do this, you do have to keep asking yourself what their agenda is, so you spot the manipulations for what they are. Luckily it seems that you are already pretty good at this.
[*] Note that this applies only when people are trying to manipulate you, aren't acting in good faith, or are playing politics in a way that you don't want to engage. Obviously for most situations the normal advice applies: communicate clearly, be professional, etc.
posted by forza at 2:04 PM on January 30, 2012
Mod note: From the OP:
Update: So, I basically took no action and within about three days our director made me the lead of the project. The other two people are off the team entirely. It's more work for me, although it also seems like a good opportunity professionally. Now it's all about relations with another institution, our director and our board president. I guess there's no escaping complicated relationships. Thanks for the advice everyone, I will check out those books too.posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:47 PM on February 2, 2012
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Best thing is to keep out of the fray unless you're at the same level as these folks and being looked at to represent your functional area's interest. If there don't report into your normal line manager, I'd discuss it directly with your immediate boss.
Why are they individually actively 'courting' you? In any case, keep the focus on the business at hand. focus on the positive suggestions either one of them has, and let them argue the negatives between themselves, and at most try and be a consensus builder.
But really not enough detail about the structure and other policial influences that can be at play. Who has the power, what kind of power, and who's the primary client? Power takes many forms, from political connections, to granted authority to make decisions, to information (has knowledge or access to info others do not). Knowing these things, and who grants the power to the subject in each case is key to figuring out how to approach the problem.
posted by rich at 7:31 AM on January 30, 2012 [1 favorite]