Argh help me deflect questions about my health at work

January 23, 2012 5:44 PM

I used my health as an excuse for something being late. This was a mistake. The door has opened to a question about the status of my health from someone who is my superior, but *not* my manager. How can I deflect their question?

I apologised for something being behind schedule at work and used sickness last year as an excuse. I got an email back from the superior-but-not-supervisor saying they knew about my health issues, but not what they were and asking if I was well, or if it was something that needed to be managed longer term, followed by a disclaimer saying I didn’t need to answer if I didn’t want to.

I know I was an idiot for using my health as an excuse, and would have been much better off saying nothing. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Sigh. I have a cordial professional relationship with the not-my-manager superior, and would like to acknowledge their concern, while firmly yet gracefully closing the door on further enquiries.

I feel like I’m in treacherous waters here. Throw me a life-line.

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (10 answers total)

In the US this would be a guarded attempt to figure out whether you have a qualifying disability. I do not know if this would be true where you are from. I'd just walk right through this door they opened for you "a disclaimer saying I didn’t need to answer if I didn’t want to." with something like "The issue is under control. I'd prefer not to discuss it further. Thanks for your concern." You can temper it somewhat to be more or less friendly but if they said you don't have to answer, you don't.
posted by jessamyn at 5:47 PM on January 23, 2012 [4 favorites]

"Thanks for your concern. It looks like things are going to be fine now."
posted by dayintoday at 5:47 PM on January 23, 2012 [14 favorites]

"Thanks for your email. It means a lot to me that you would be concerned. I'm well, and there's nothing that needs to be managed in the longer term. I will certainly let you know if anything like that comes up."
posted by OmieWise at 5:47 PM on January 23, 2012 [4 favorites]

"Thank you for asking, I'm doing well now." That's all. Superior gave you an out by saying you didn't need to go into it, so take it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:49 PM on January 23, 2012 [3 favorites]

Yes to the email, etc., but don't ever be late again or use illness, feigned or otherwise, as an excuse. Gracefully closing the door is one thing, but you opened it.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:06 PM on January 23, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oh, and you might want to make this anon--it's pathetically easy to find your name and job, etc.
posted by Ideefixe at 6:08 PM on January 23, 2012

Thanks for your concern - everything is fine now.
posted by mleigh at 6:21 PM on January 23, 2012

Thanks for your concern. It looks like things are going to be fine now. Fortunately it was a false alarm.
posted by mattoxic at 6:55 PM on January 23, 2012

I wouldn't necessarily jump to the conclusion that they're trying to find out information to use against you. They might just be concerned. I could see myself sending an email just like that and not even having it occur to me that it might be construed that way.

But if you're nervous, just use one of the many good suggestions here to say something along the lines of "it got sorted out and I'm just fine, thank you for asking!"
posted by lunasol at 7:16 PM on January 23, 2012 [1 favorite]

'Thanks for your concern' sounds like a brush-off and isn't terribly friendly.

If this is someone you want to maintain a positive relationship with, you can just as easily say, 'I really appreciate your concern; things are OK now, but it's really nice to know that I have your support.'
posted by yellowcandy at 10:03 PM on January 23, 2012 [1 favorite]