Of shoe shiners and assertiveness
January 21, 2012 12:05 PM Subscribe
Some random shoe shiner shined one of my boots while I was waiting in the subway, hoping to get some money. I honestly had no cash on me at the time. He left off without much fuss thankfully, but I'm worried about the products he used may ruin my boot, and how to deal with such ones in the future.
I know this is an odd situation, but I'm quite shaken up, as I'm a suburbanite and am not used to taking public transportation. For future reference, what could I have done to be more assertive if something similar should happen to me?
Also, wil my boot be okay? :(
I know this is an odd situation, but I'm quite shaken up, as I'm a suburbanite and am not used to taking public transportation. For future reference, what could I have done to be more assertive if something similar should happen to me?
Also, wil my boot be okay? :(
Also, to be more assertive, firmly say "No!" and move away.
posted by Specklet at 12:07 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Specklet at 12:07 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: He used some black shoe polish as well as some other items that I didn't recognize. That's why I'm worried - the last thing I need right now is to buy a new pair of boots.
posted by never nice at 12:08 PM on January 21, 2012
posted by never nice at 12:08 PM on January 21, 2012
Well, shining your boot requires some cooperation on your part, so if you don't want your boots shined in the future, you should say, "no, thank you" when you are approached by someone trying to shine your boots. That should take care of the situation, but if it doesn't for some reason, you can always just walk away. He can hardly shine your boots while they're moving.
posted by Ragged Richard at 12:22 PM on January 21, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by Ragged Richard at 12:22 PM on January 21, 2012 [13 favorites]
A firm, but politely stated, "No. [insert tiny smile] Thanks, though," works for me in cases like this.
posted by heyho at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by heyho at 12:23 PM on January 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
For future reference, what could I have done to be more assertive if something similar should happen to me?
In the immortal words of Nancy Reagan: just say no. Or walk away. Or pretty much anything other than standing there and letting a random stranger rub things on your foot.
posted by ook at 12:24 PM on January 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
In the immortal words of Nancy Reagan: just say no. Or walk away. Or pretty much anything other than standing there and letting a random stranger rub things on your foot.
posted by ook at 12:24 PM on January 21, 2012 [7 favorites]
Shoe polish is pretty much a combo of waxy substances that are pretty inert. What is your boot made out of? If it's leather, you should be maintaining them anyway. If it's pleather, the worst that will happen is that you get polish on something else (couch, pants) before it wears off naturally. The only way I think your boot would be ruined if it was made of suede or, I don't know, cloth or Muppet fur or something. It's not going to start dissolving in a few hours or something.
Yeah, in the future, just move. Not just then, but don't stand stock still in the station. Some cities require a more aggressive stance than others (like Philly vs Boston). You may need to develop, in general, more presence and/or awareness. Someone not paying attention, or who is distracted, is more likely to be the kind of person someone will come right up to and start touching your shoes or forcing samples on you, or so on.
posted by cobaltnine at 12:25 PM on January 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
Yeah, in the future, just move. Not just then, but don't stand stock still in the station. Some cities require a more aggressive stance than others (like Philly vs Boston). You may need to develop, in general, more presence and/or awareness. Someone not paying attention, or who is distracted, is more likely to be the kind of person someone will come right up to and start touching your shoes or forcing samples on you, or so on.
posted by cobaltnine at 12:25 PM on January 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
For the more determined service providers, I find `No. I don´t have any cash´ works best.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:38 PM on January 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Space Kitty at 12:38 PM on January 21, 2012 [3 favorites]
The "Put This On" podcast has an episode on how to polish shoes properly. If you're worried, follow their step - you'll need shoe conditioner & some sort of polish (possibly clear - I use clear because I have black and brown shoes and don't want to change the brown shoes' character too much). You can also use leather shampoo.
If you're really concerned, I'd polish them again, and waterproof them if you want to.
As far as how to be more assertive- I don't know how he approached you, but just shaking your foot as if you're trying to shoo (ahem) him away could work if he was already bent down by the time you noticed him.
posted by MesoFilter at 1:13 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
If you're really concerned, I'd polish them again, and waterproof them if you want to.
As far as how to be more assertive- I don't know how he approached you, but just shaking your foot as if you're trying to shoo (ahem) him away could work if he was already bent down by the time you noticed him.
posted by MesoFilter at 1:13 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Best answer: He left off without much fuss thankfully[...]I'm quite shaken up, as I'm a suburbanite and am not used to taking public transportation.
It sounds like you were worried that moving away or saying something would cause a scene? Shoe-buskers get turned down about 9 times out of 10; the odds that he would've done anything other than move on to the next person are infinitesimal. Just say no, walk away, and ignore him if he persists.
posted by kagredon at 1:38 PM on January 21, 2012 [6 favorites]
It sounds like you were worried that moving away or saying something would cause a scene? Shoe-buskers get turned down about 9 times out of 10; the odds that he would've done anything other than move on to the next person are infinitesimal. Just say no, walk away, and ignore him if he persists.
posted by kagredon at 1:38 PM on January 21, 2012 [6 favorites]
If your boot was suede or nubuck and he used black shoe polish then it could be likely that your shoe is ruined. Black shoe polish ruins white tennis shoes too but without knowing about your shoe I can only guess.
As far as being assertive, it isn't particularly necessary. If some stranger comes up to me and starts kneeling I automatically give them about ten feet of space. In that kind of scenario there are many more negative outcomes than positives.
posted by JJ86 at 1:40 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
As far as being assertive, it isn't particularly necessary. If some stranger comes up to me and starts kneeling I automatically give them about ten feet of space. In that kind of scenario there are many more negative outcomes than positives.
posted by JJ86 at 1:40 PM on January 21, 2012 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: @kagredon - That was exactly my concern. I was worried about potential assault, and you can't expect strangers to intervene (there were only a handful of people nearby in any case.)
My boots are leather, so I'll wipe them off and polish them myself.
posted by never nice at 1:57 PM on January 21, 2012
My boots are leather, so I'll wipe them off and polish them myself.
posted by never nice at 1:57 PM on January 21, 2012
These guys get turned down so often, I bet he was just as surprised as you to start working your boot.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 3:50 PM on January 21, 2012
posted by JohnnyGunn at 3:50 PM on January 21, 2012
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posted by Think_Long at 12:06 PM on January 21, 2012