Buddhist way to honor a friend's death in Laos?
January 4, 2012 1:40 AM Subscribe
I'm in Luang Prabang, Laos right now and tomorrow is the one month anniversary of a friend's death. I would like to go to the temple and do something, but I'm not sure what the custom is. Any ideas?
I have limited ability to communicate this to the local Laotians I'm interacting with, so that is why I'm asking here.
The form of Buddhism practiced here is Theravada.
I have limited ability to communicate this to the local Laotians I'm interacting with, so that is why I'm asking here.
The form of Buddhism practiced here is Theravada.
I know only a bit about Theravada and nothing about commemoration rituals, and the week I spent in LP was back in early 1999. I'm sure the place has changed a lot.
That said, when we were there, the monks had no problems interacting with my wife (unlike in Thailand where they are more strict about that sort of thing.) We found the many monks we encountered to be universally friendly and curious. The last decade of tourism, however, may have ruined this; no idea.
So maybe go and just ask? Have some small amount of money for a donation? You might, nowadays, might wan to get a male friend to go with you, although I'm sure my wife could have gone without me back then.
Dated advice, perhaps no longer helpful, but maybe better than nothing :) Sometimes, just spending a day walking around holy sites and remembering your friend is enough, too.
posted by digitalprimate at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
That said, when we were there, the monks had no problems interacting with my wife (unlike in Thailand where they are more strict about that sort of thing.) We found the many monks we encountered to be universally friendly and curious. The last decade of tourism, however, may have ruined this; no idea.
So maybe go and just ask? Have some small amount of money for a donation? You might, nowadays, might wan to get a male friend to go with you, although I'm sure my wife could have gone without me back then.
Dated advice, perhaps no longer helpful, but maybe better than nothing :) Sometimes, just spending a day walking around holy sites and remembering your friend is enough, too.
posted by digitalprimate at 12:15 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
This and this are good places to start.
I don't know if giving alms is exactly what you had in mind for a ritual, but it looks like you won't have any problem spending some time there meditating and/or praying.
(Sorry, it's not first hand experience, but I would feel very comfortable visiting after reading these articles.)
I hope you have a beautiful experience.
posted by snsranch at 5:40 PM on January 4, 2012
I don't know if giving alms is exactly what you had in mind for a ritual, but it looks like you won't have any problem spending some time there meditating and/or praying.
(Sorry, it's not first hand experience, but I would feel very comfortable visiting after reading these articles.)
I hope you have a beautiful experience.
posted by snsranch at 5:40 PM on January 4, 2012
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On the day of the funeral, before the cortege leaves the residence, Buddhist monks would perform funeral rites and the chief monk among them will carry out a funeral oration. Normally the chief Monk will appraise the departed and console the loved ones by explaining the inevitability of death according to the Buddhist teachings.
A white cloth (Mataka Vastra) measuring six yards is also draped around the coffin by the monks while chanting the sutras. Later, the Pansakula (a blessing for the departed) is performed where close family members seated on the floor beside the coffin would pour water from a small jug into a dish while the chanting continues. The purpose of Pansakula is to transfer merit to the departed. Soon after the coffin leaves the house, women will boil a small pot of fresh cow's milk at the spot where the coffin was kept. Its believed that boiling milk absorbs impurities emanated by the dead body. This is more a cultural practice than a Buddhist practice.
posted by evil_esto at 2:21 AM on January 4, 2012