How to annoy a 15yr old boy!
December 29, 2011 7:50 AM   Subscribe

Looking for ideas on the most annoying and fun way to give my nephew cash for the holidays... because I am THAT uncle!

I don't like giving cash, but this year, he is adamant that's all he wants. I remember being 15, and get that he'd prefer the money - but I'd like to make him work for it a bit. I've seen the puzzle boxes, but I want something more sinister... I thought about freezing pennies or something, but I figure y'all would have much more creative ideas....
posted by niteHawk to Grab Bag (31 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
A checkbook full of $1 checks?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:54 AM on December 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Heck, I'd just go for the simple but classic giant jar of loose pennies!
posted by easily confused at 7:57 AM on December 29, 2011

American Express Pre-Paid debit card.
One dollar coins.
500 word essay on what he plans to do with the money.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:58 AM on December 29, 2011

Best answer: Pinata full of pennies.
posted by athenasbanquet at 7:59 AM on December 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Just make sure it's not the cashiers who end up on the sinister side. Pennies are fine, but then make him bike the 3 miles to the coinstar machine.
posted by raccoon409 at 8:01 AM on December 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Freezing the money (in a waterproof package) in a big ice block?
posted by Hanuman1960 at 8:03 AM on December 29, 2011

posted by maxim0512 at 8:05 AM on December 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

Does he Geocache? You could put the money somewhere and then give him some clues or coordinates to find it. If you're artistic you could create some sort of Masquerade type book giving clues to where the money is hidden.
posted by bondcliff at 8:06 AM on December 29, 2011

do they still make those pens with the shredded money inside of them?
posted by any major dude at 8:07 AM on December 29, 2011

How much work do you want to do? How about cracking walnuts carefully in half, folding dollar bills and placing them into the shells, and then gluing them back together? If you're feeling nice, you could even provide him with a nutcracker.
posted by peagood at 8:08 AM on December 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

A worthless item worth exactly how much you want to give him, and a receipt so he can return it and get the money.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:10 AM on December 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

Here are a few suggestions. They're not sinister, but it might inspire you. (See the end of the thread to learn how the story ended.)
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 8:10 AM on December 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

posted by two lights above the sea at 8:11 AM on December 29, 2011 [7 favorites]

Take a large container, an ice chest or something, and fill it full of sand, adding $1 up to the level of gift you want to give as you go. It will be a heavy, enormous pain in the ass and he'll really have to work for it.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:15 AM on December 29, 2011

Response by poster: These are AWESOME ideas!! I'd do the geocaching, but he's in another state, and it's hard for me to set up... that being said.. I like the idea of duct tape... Im thinking I could at least put dollar coins in many separate bundles....
posted by niteHawk at 8:20 AM on December 29, 2011

Best answer: You don't need to split the money into pennies; quarters should be good. Freeze each individual quarter in an ice cube (half-freeze a tray, drop a quarter in, freeze the rest of the way). This ensures that the quarters don't get all clustered in one spot. Place ice cubes into a bucket once frozen; dump water in to fill in the gaps. Freeze the bucket.

If the bucket does not have a top to it, place the bucket in a plastic garbage bag or some other waterproof container. Duct tape the hell out of the bucket bag. Wrap the bucket nicely (lots of tape) garnish with ribbon. Keep in the freezer until it's gift giving time!
posted by Verdandi at 8:23 AM on December 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

Amazon sells rabbit carcasses.

Plastic bag with a 20-dollar bill stuffed in a dead animal's abdominal cavity....

Just saying.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:32 AM on December 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

My aunt once gave me a roll of dollar bills that were taped end to end. It was a huge pain to get them apart. I started trying to carefully peel the tape, then resorted to cutting them apart. The ones that still had tape on them didn't always work in vending machines, so there was the added frustration down the road every time I took one out for a soda or candy bar or something.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:37 AM on December 29, 2011

You're overthinking this. What you want to do is give him a really boring pair of socks or a Justin Beiber in concert DVD, tuck the cash inside, then wrap the gift up as normal. When he has a "wtf" reaction to your crappy gift, tell him you spent a long time picking it out, it's the thought that counts, and he shouldn't be an ungrateful little twerp.

When my brother was little, I gave him a really cool pocket knife disguised in a Barbie box, and he threw a fit thinking I gave him a Barbie. The fakeout present is always fun.
posted by phunniemee at 8:43 AM on December 29, 2011 [5 favorites]

My nephews do this to each other. Duct tape os a pain but it can be unrolled unless you also deploy glue.

Their rule is that tools cannot be used to aid unwrapping. The rest of us usually just go do something else for awhile.

The older nephew has plans to weld a metal box closed at some future escalation of the game.
posted by mightshould at 8:45 AM on December 29, 2011

If you do this, make sure he tries the socks on in your presence or else he's likely to toss them in a drawer and never discover the cash.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:45 AM on December 29, 2011

mightshould: careful, that sort of thing can escalate.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:47 AM on December 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

What about giving it to him in the form of a semi-obscure foreign currency? Belize dollars, for examp, have pictures of Queen Elizabeth and cute little tapirs on them.
posted by CutaneousRabbit at 9:01 AM on December 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

I gave my nephew a 32 oz. can of refried beans for Christmas. I also taped thirty dollars to the inside of the gift bag.

He was going to get a giant jar of pickles with a wad of cash floating inside, but my wife talked me out of it. But he's getting it next year. The thought of him extracting, rinsing and drying a bunch of bills tickles the hell out of me, not to mention the fact that they will likely still smell of pickles when he goes to use them.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:24 AM on December 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

Old set of encyclopedia. Hide dollars in the pages of the most boring chapters.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:39 AM on December 29, 2011

I gave my teenager a bunch of home made money soap*, both as a way to give him some cash and to encourage frequent showering.

*it sounds intimidating but it took all of 20 minutes to make my first ever batch. The supplies cost $6 and I had enough to make 8 bars of soap. All you need is a microwave, a glass bowl, food coloring and some molds (I used silicon novelty ice cube trays I got from Ikea for $1.)
posted by jamaro at 10:15 AM on December 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Last Christmas my dad gave me and my brother money.... locked up inside a plastic puzzle box. I had to spend about half an hour trying to unlock the puzzle before I could get at the cash.
posted by whitneyarner at 12:11 PM on December 29, 2011

For my son's 14th birthday, I gave him a used copy of "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" with money inside. (He's not likely to read that kind of book.) After a few hours, I suggested that he read the story on pg 75 because it contained a "very valuable lesson" in life.
You could substitute any boring book that you think your nephew would hate.
posted by Ochre,Hugh at 1:17 PM on December 29, 2011

Oh! I almost forgot, my mom once made fortune cookies from scratch, and folded dollar bills inside in lieu of the fortunes.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 2:00 PM on December 29, 2011

Two things I have done:

Very carefully open a box of Cracker Jacks, put the money inside and re-wrap it. To be truly successful, you have to have access to a shrink-wrap machine.

Open a can with one of those can openers that leaves a smooth edge. Dump the contents, wash the can, put the money in, glue the lid back on.
posted by Lone_Wolf at 4:05 PM on December 29, 2011

The ice is a nice touch. I was going to suggest putting the cash in a ziploc bag and embedding it in a tomb of plaster of paris. - get a pickle bucket, mix plaster in the bucket to fill 1/3 way. As it's setting, embed a paper clip in it half way. After it has set, clip the bag to it and pour in more liquid plaster.

A perfect present for the chip off the old block.
posted by plinth at 5:16 PM on December 29, 2011

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