My breasts are large for my frame, how can I downplay them and avoid back pain?
December 17, 2011 6:35 AM Subscribe
My breasts are disproportionately large for my frame (34E/F, 5'2", upper-normal BMI). Because of this, my posture is terrible and my style has been decidedly cramped. Short of getting a breast reduction, how can I dress better, improve my posture, and keep my back from hurting all the time?
The problem is that even great, well-made, well-fitted, expensive bras leave my breasts looking really, well, prominent. My breasts kind of swallow my whole torso, to be honest - I have an extremely short (though defined) waist, and to put it crudely, my body basically goes straight from tits to ass. Since this is anonymous, what the hell - I go from 42-30-42 within a vertical span of less than 1 foot. I know I should make the most of my curves, but they look so dramatic on my short body that I usually feel like I look either immodest or fat, with nothing in between. Is this a self-esteem issue, a physical issue, or a clothing issue? And more importantly, what can I do about it?
The back pain is my biggest concern. As I get older (turning 29 this year), I am experiencing more and more muscle pain and cramping in my mid-upper back and shoulders from having terrible posture, which I believe is a result of slouching to hide my breasts. I find that even when I'm relaxing at home with no one but my partner (and I am confident that he loves my body), I still feel strangely uncomfortable and almost ashamed to have good posture because it makes my breasts stick out so crazy far from my body. I've been wearing restrictive sports bras for the last year or so because they minimize my bust and make me look thinner - it was almost disturbing to me how much thinner people thought I was once I started doing this, I got constant commentary about losing weight even while I was actually gaining - but I am sick and tired of the squishing/uniboob effect and I'm ready to start wearing real, nice bras again.
For the back pain, the most effective treatment so far has been trigger point self-massage on my upper back, but every day it all tightens back up again and I can't seem to make any lasting progress. For my clothing, I dress very simply in black long-sleeve v-neck tees and dark jeans, but it would be nice to spice it up a little without looking like 50% of my body weight is comprised of boobs. I've tried wrap dresses, and one of them worked great but mostly they still make me feel really conspicuous and I don't wear dresses very often (maybe I should?). As far as self-esteem goes, I am much more accepting of my body than I used to be, but I still beat myself up about being a size 10/12 when I would look better at a size 8, stupid stuff like that. I'm pretty quiet, self-conscious, and modest as a general rule, but other than the boob issue I wouldn't say that my body image was a big problem or taking up a ton of space in my head. I have definitely thought about breast reduction surgery, but not very seriously because I can't afford it at all as a broke-ass student with no health insurance.
If it helps, I'm an hourglass/cello body type, I'm muscular and in reasonably good shape, and I walk around with a heavy backpack all the time because I walk to school every day. I don't plan on joining a gym, but I do try to walk at least 3 miles every day, including some decent elevation changes. I am open to exercises and stretches that I can do at home or outdoors.
Any advice on how to dress myself in more flattering clothes, treat or train my body, or mentally reframe my figure would be greatly appreciated. Thanks as always, hive mind!
The problem is that even great, well-made, well-fitted, expensive bras leave my breasts looking really, well, prominent. My breasts kind of swallow my whole torso, to be honest - I have an extremely short (though defined) waist, and to put it crudely, my body basically goes straight from tits to ass. Since this is anonymous, what the hell - I go from 42-30-42 within a vertical span of less than 1 foot. I know I should make the most of my curves, but they look so dramatic on my short body that I usually feel like I look either immodest or fat, with nothing in between. Is this a self-esteem issue, a physical issue, or a clothing issue? And more importantly, what can I do about it?
The back pain is my biggest concern. As I get older (turning 29 this year), I am experiencing more and more muscle pain and cramping in my mid-upper back and shoulders from having terrible posture, which I believe is a result of slouching to hide my breasts. I find that even when I'm relaxing at home with no one but my partner (and I am confident that he loves my body), I still feel strangely uncomfortable and almost ashamed to have good posture because it makes my breasts stick out so crazy far from my body. I've been wearing restrictive sports bras for the last year or so because they minimize my bust and make me look thinner - it was almost disturbing to me how much thinner people thought I was once I started doing this, I got constant commentary about losing weight even while I was actually gaining - but I am sick and tired of the squishing/uniboob effect and I'm ready to start wearing real, nice bras again.
For the back pain, the most effective treatment so far has been trigger point self-massage on my upper back, but every day it all tightens back up again and I can't seem to make any lasting progress. For my clothing, I dress very simply in black long-sleeve v-neck tees and dark jeans, but it would be nice to spice it up a little without looking like 50% of my body weight is comprised of boobs. I've tried wrap dresses, and one of them worked great but mostly they still make me feel really conspicuous and I don't wear dresses very often (maybe I should?). As far as self-esteem goes, I am much more accepting of my body than I used to be, but I still beat myself up about being a size 10/12 when I would look better at a size 8, stupid stuff like that. I'm pretty quiet, self-conscious, and modest as a general rule, but other than the boob issue I wouldn't say that my body image was a big problem or taking up a ton of space in my head. I have definitely thought about breast reduction surgery, but not very seriously because I can't afford it at all as a broke-ass student with no health insurance.
If it helps, I'm an hourglass/cello body type, I'm muscular and in reasonably good shape, and I walk around with a heavy backpack all the time because I walk to school every day. I don't plan on joining a gym, but I do try to walk at least 3 miles every day, including some decent elevation changes. I am open to exercises and stretches that I can do at home or outdoors.
Any advice on how to dress myself in more flattering clothes, treat or train my body, or mentally reframe my figure would be greatly appreciated. Thanks as always, hive mind!
Ah, I see that you tried a reducing sports bra. Perhaps one with more differentiation between the cups would look better?
posted by jb at 7:01 AM on December 17, 2011
posted by jb at 7:01 AM on December 17, 2011
Have you thought about seeing a physical therapist? I'd mention this all to your doctor (neck and shoulder pain, hunching) and see if you can get a recommendation or a referral to a physical therapist. They will be able to analyze your neck and shoulder problems and recommend ways to strengthen them. And, of course, a properly fitted bra will help. Ooh, just saw that you don't have health insurance? Does your school have a health clinic? Or somewhere where you can ask about health issues? You could try to set up your own regime of exercises (I try to do the pectoral stretch on that page often and when I do it regularly, I really feel it helps).
I have bigger boobs (but not that big -- you have my sympathies!) and have been really trying to improve my posture in the last couple years. Yep, they stick out more but I'm convinced that I'm really the only one who notices the difference. I mean, no amount of crappy posture is really going to hide the girls, right? That is just in our minds. They are out there whether we want them or not! However, I think a properly fitted and supportive bra really helps.
Since your primary exercise is walking, have you considered using a trekking pole? It would help you maintain a more upright posture and also has the added benefit of taking some weight off your knees. You could go total Nordic and walk with two but I've found just switching from hand to hand is pretty good. I always take at least one pole hiking, they collapse so I can stow them alongside my pack if I don't want to use it. I read an article recently that Nordic walking burns way more calories then walking without poles. So, there's that!
Also, you are wearing bigger clothing sizes because you have bigger breasts! Try not to fixate on that number. I pretty much wear two sizes, one on top and another other the bottom. Swimsuit shopping can be a nightmare! Don't weigh yourself. Ever! And try to remember that nobody knows or cares as much about how we look as we do. Everyone is usually far too busy worrying about themselves to put much effort into analyzing you.
posted by amanda at 7:01 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I have bigger boobs (but not that big -- you have my sympathies!) and have been really trying to improve my posture in the last couple years. Yep, they stick out more but I'm convinced that I'm really the only one who notices the difference. I mean, no amount of crappy posture is really going to hide the girls, right? That is just in our minds. They are out there whether we want them or not! However, I think a properly fitted and supportive bra really helps.
Since your primary exercise is walking, have you considered using a trekking pole? It would help you maintain a more upright posture and also has the added benefit of taking some weight off your knees. You could go total Nordic and walk with two but I've found just switching from hand to hand is pretty good. I always take at least one pole hiking, they collapse so I can stow them alongside my pack if I don't want to use it. I read an article recently that Nordic walking burns way more calories then walking without poles. So, there's that!
Also, you are wearing bigger clothing sizes because you have bigger breasts! Try not to fixate on that number. I pretty much wear two sizes, one on top and another other the bottom. Swimsuit shopping can be a nightmare! Don't weigh yourself. Ever! And try to remember that nobody knows or cares as much about how we look as we do. Everyone is usually far too busy worrying about themselves to put much effort into analyzing you.
posted by amanda at 7:01 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Pepperberry in the UK do clothes, swimsuits, blouses and (god bless them) night clothes for us busty types. I'm 36H on a 5'5" frame, size 14. That's the only place I can get clothes that actually fit to the size I would be without such a massive rack.
Maybe you can have a look at the tricks their styles use and start looking for those on the high street?
posted by katiecat at 7:04 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Maybe you can have a look at the tricks their styles use and start looking for those on the high street?
posted by katiecat at 7:04 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
See Amanda, above- the only one who thinks that hunching over is going to hide anything is you. You might as well own it, and feel physically better as a result.
I know you mentioned expensive bras, but have you- as others have suggested- seen a professional bra fitter at either a specialty shop or a high-end department store with a vast selection?
Just as a point of reference, there's a store in LA called Oversized and Underserved that caters to the needs of people with big boobs. They may have some advice for you, and they may do mail order.
Surgery's always an option, of course, but as people mentioned you actually sound well-proportioned, and reducing might make you have a different set of issues with your body.
Good luck and feel better!
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 7:12 AM on December 17, 2011
I know you mentioned expensive bras, but have you- as others have suggested- seen a professional bra fitter at either a specialty shop or a high-end department store with a vast selection?
Just as a point of reference, there's a store in LA called Oversized and Underserved that caters to the needs of people with big boobs. They may have some advice for you, and they may do mail order.
Surgery's always an option, of course, but as people mentioned you actually sound well-proportioned, and reducing might make you have a different set of issues with your body.
Good luck and feel better!
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 7:12 AM on December 17, 2011
What do you do to exercise your back/upper body? Your chest is heavy if it's large, as I know from personal experience, and I bet your back pain is coming from back weakness as much or more than from shame-slouching. If you can't join a gym, can you do modified push-ups, core exercises and some work with free weights at home? That and stretching really, really help me. (Modified push-ups has meant, for me, doing as much push-up as I can without worrying too much about technically perfect form, although you can also do them by leaning against the wall if that's needed.)
posted by Frowner at 7:15 AM on December 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Frowner at 7:15 AM on December 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
5' 34E here. I probably shouldn't say this – or maybe I should put it a better way (sorry) – but, back pain aside for a moment, the biggest problem to me seems to be your attitude about your breast size. I do think that in answer to your question: "Is this a self-esteem issue, a physical issue, or a clothing issue?" ... it sounds like it is all three.
Slouching or trying to make yourself appear smaller or less curvy projects a lack of confidence and perpetuates a negative body image about yourself, both to others, but unto yourself especially. It's the physical embodiment of a harmful mental image...a desire to hide oneself, which is our natural tendency when we feel shame or disgust or vulnerability. Trying to minimize this at the expense of your posture also doesn't do favors for your core strength and back muscles, which is then going to exacerbate the problem...reminding you of your emotional struggles at every ache and pain you experience.
You need to strengthen, physically and emotionally. They're inextricably tied, so that if you work on one it helps the other. I find that, while I *wish* I had skinny arms, it's never going to happen. The nice thing about doing regular push-ups is that it strengthens my pecs (therefore supporting my breasts better, naturally) and tones my arms, making them bigger and more muscular. Yes, it makes buying shirts even more difficult, but the benefits outweigh that. My upper body is wicked strong and my muscular arms counterbalance the size of my chest. The push-ups do great things for abs and back and core-strength overall, which is great for posture. Sometimes people don't even notice my breasts, but how ripped my arms are or how strong I am (if, say, carrying something with ease). As a short person, that's fun.
I think you may find that if you come to peace with your body – to the point that you are ok with standing up straighter, wearing whatever styles you want, and not worrying so much about what others see first when they see you – you will feel much happier and accomplished than if you immediately go for the painful and expensive fix of breast reduction surgery. The procedure will make the back pain go away, but it won't automatically make you stronger or change your habitualized thinking about yourself. You can do those two things for free, starting right now, without an appointment.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:17 AM on December 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Slouching or trying to make yourself appear smaller or less curvy projects a lack of confidence and perpetuates a negative body image about yourself, both to others, but unto yourself especially. It's the physical embodiment of a harmful mental image...a desire to hide oneself, which is our natural tendency when we feel shame or disgust or vulnerability. Trying to minimize this at the expense of your posture also doesn't do favors for your core strength and back muscles, which is then going to exacerbate the problem...reminding you of your emotional struggles at every ache and pain you experience.
You need to strengthen, physically and emotionally. They're inextricably tied, so that if you work on one it helps the other. I find that, while I *wish* I had skinny arms, it's never going to happen. The nice thing about doing regular push-ups is that it strengthens my pecs (therefore supporting my breasts better, naturally) and tones my arms, making them bigger and more muscular. Yes, it makes buying shirts even more difficult, but the benefits outweigh that. My upper body is wicked strong and my muscular arms counterbalance the size of my chest. The push-ups do great things for abs and back and core-strength overall, which is great for posture. Sometimes people don't even notice my breasts, but how ripped my arms are or how strong I am (if, say, carrying something with ease). As a short person, that's fun.
I think you may find that if you come to peace with your body – to the point that you are ok with standing up straighter, wearing whatever styles you want, and not worrying so much about what others see first when they see you – you will feel much happier and accomplished than if you immediately go for the painful and expensive fix of breast reduction surgery. The procedure will make the back pain go away, but it won't automatically make you stronger or change your habitualized thinking about yourself. You can do those two things for free, starting right now, without an appointment.
posted by iamkimiam at 7:17 AM on December 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Physical therapist here, who is also a 34E. You should totally MeMail me, I'll give you my number, and we can talk on the phone. I may be able to help.
posted by jennyjenny at 7:17 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by jennyjenny at 7:17 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Size 42 H here, but I'm much rounder overall than you. That aside, I struggled for a long time with hating my breasts and body. In your case, it seems exacerbated by the fact that your breasts are causing you physical pain, so it's not so easy to accept and love them. I think you do need to make peace with your body - an easy thing to say, not so easy to achieve. One simple thing to do is to focus on all the good that your body does for you (walks, breathes, gets you through your day, carries groceries, etc.).
The physical pain part - if you have no insurance this is tricky. But...many years ago I saw my primary care doctor for a physical and I asked her about a breast reduction. She said the process can be covered by insurance if you have a history of back/shoulder/neck pain for which you have documented appointments with a doctor. It's something to consider when you do get health insurance. I didn't and don't have back pain, and wouldn't consider a reduction otherwise at this point in my life.
posted by Sal and Richard at 7:31 AM on December 17, 2011
The physical pain part - if you have no insurance this is tricky. But...many years ago I saw my primary care doctor for a physical and I asked her about a breast reduction. She said the process can be covered by insurance if you have a history of back/shoulder/neck pain for which you have documented appointments with a doctor. It's something to consider when you do get health insurance. I didn't and don't have back pain, and wouldn't consider a reduction otherwise at this point in my life.
posted by Sal and Richard at 7:31 AM on December 17, 2011
How much of your back pain is coming from your breasts, and how much from the fact that you walk around all day carrying a heavy backpack. I'd dramatically reduce the amount of stuff you carry or switch to a wheely bag for a few weeks and see if that helps. I'm not saying that your breasts aren't causing you pain; it's clear that at the very least, they cause you emotional pain, and you've gotten some good advice on how to deal with that. But I am saying that my breasts are much smaller than yours, and I get severe back pain from carrying a heavy backpack, so perhaps changing that variable would allow you to live in your body with less pain.
posted by decathecting at 7:44 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by decathecting at 7:44 AM on December 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm also short and have big boobs (40F) but I'm also a fat chick, so they aren't as prominent as they would be if I were a smaller size overall. My coworker on the other hand is a small woman, perhaps an inch or two taller than you, with 34J breasts. They did overwhelm her body, she had an hourglass shape naturally but most folks couldn't stop looking at her breasts long enough to notice that she had additional body parts. She had a breast reduction last year and while she still has larger than average breasts, they are much more reasonable for her body size. Her back and shoulder pain reduced dramatically. I don't know if that's something you are interested in, but that was her experience. She always wore v-neck or wrap type shirts and sweaters, always with tank tops underneath for additional coverage. She wore wrap dresses with the waist belted to draw attention to the fact that she had a waist in the first place. I know the tendency for many of us with naturally large breasts is to wear something concealing, but perhaps trying things that are more fitted might work better for you.
posted by crankylex at 8:20 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by crankylex at 8:20 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Does your backpack have a waist strap? It looks dorky as fuck, but I don't buy backpacks without the waist and chest straps to take pressure off of my shoulders. The chest strap in particular will not help in the self-image department since it squeezes ye olde boobs together, but at least for me it really helps when carrying heavy loads.
Other than that I feel a lot better when I do yoga once a week and go for walks/hikes without any weight on my back (I use a waist pack to carry water).
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 8:38 AM on December 17, 2011
Other than that I feel a lot better when I do yoga once a week and go for walks/hikes without any weight on my back (I use a waist pack to carry water).
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 8:38 AM on December 17, 2011
(Ms. Vegetable)
Massage. Deep tissue massage. I had one once that was so good I felt like I could stand up straight for the first time in YEARS. I recommend it as a temporary solution.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:03 AM on December 17, 2011
Massage. Deep tissue massage. I had one once that was so good I felt like I could stand up straight for the first time in YEARS. I recommend it as a temporary solution.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:03 AM on December 17, 2011
Exercise to strengthen your back.
See an ergonomics specialist to determine how best to schlep your heavy stuff around. A different backpack or a rolling cart may be your answer there.
Talk with a professional bra fitter about getting a good bra that does what you want: support without a uniboob, preferably with some de-emphasis on the size of your breasts. Once you have a style and model (hopefully 2-3) that work, you can buy clothes that work with your newly defined shape [Pepperberry is a good choice] and look good on you. Consider clothing made to your measurements [I'm a happy, definitely not off-the-rack customer of Tailor Store] as well if your budget allows.
posted by thatdawnperson at 11:09 AM on December 17, 2011
See an ergonomics specialist to determine how best to schlep your heavy stuff around. A different backpack or a rolling cart may be your answer there.
Talk with a professional bra fitter about getting a good bra that does what you want: support without a uniboob, preferably with some de-emphasis on the size of your breasts. Once you have a style and model (hopefully 2-3) that work, you can buy clothes that work with your newly defined shape [Pepperberry is a good choice] and look good on you. Consider clothing made to your measurements [I'm a happy, definitely not off-the-rack customer of Tailor Store] as well if your budget allows.
posted by thatdawnperson at 11:09 AM on December 17, 2011
I want to second the others who've recommended a professional bra fitting. You need to go to an unfasionable-looking store that is staffed by old ladies. The women working there will have a lot of experience, and they'll have quality products that department stores won't have. Talk to them about a minimizing bra. These kinds of bras use compression to minimize your profile -- but their major benefit is that they minimize movement, which will help your neck, and often have features built into the straps and back band that will help take the pressure off your shoulders.
Also, with the others -- your slouching shoulders aren't hiding anything. You are beautiful -- stand up straight, look the world in the eye, and smile.
posted by OrangeDisk at 1:05 PM on December 17, 2011
Also, with the others -- your slouching shoulders aren't hiding anything. You are beautiful -- stand up straight, look the world in the eye, and smile.
posted by OrangeDisk at 1:05 PM on December 17, 2011
It sounds like we have very similar figures, but very different feelings about them. What jumped out at me while reading your question is how your issues really circle around your feelings about your own body. Big breasts are not immodest, in and of themselves. They are a part of you. Any meaning that they have are what you ascribe to them. Worrying that they stick out is like thinking that your shoulders stick out too much - but they have to! your arms need somewhere to go! Same with your chest - it's your damn chest and that's the way it's shaped. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of your back pain results from the slouching you do to try to hide them. But they are a part of you, and you shouldn't have to feel like you need to hide yourself. The trouble I have with the idea of modesty is that it sneakily implies that you shouldn't feel good about yourself, that you shouldn't take pride in who you are. Yes, it is weird and annoying when a person is full of themselves and blantant about it, but there's nothing wrong with saying to yourself "this is who and what I am, and that's ok" Your breasts aren't "large for your frame" your breasts are part of your frame, and from your measurements, it sounds like you are actually in perfect proportion! Time to start loving it!
awesome things about a big chest:
-it balances out your hips visually, so that even if (like me) you have a couple extra pounds of cushiness around the derrierre, you still look good.
-they make your waist look smaller
-there are lots of different ways to dress and get totally different looks out of the same body.
So, here's my dressing tips - waist definition is great - if my clothes don't come in at the waist, I look like an apple on a stick. I generally have to buy clothes in a bigger size, and take them in at the waist a bit so they flatter me. Do you sew or have a friend that sews? if not, lots of dry-cleaners do alterations. a dart here and there makes a huge difference in how clothes flatter your shape.
expensive, well fitted bras are great, but they are generally designed to maximize size, which is great for days that you want to vamp it up a bit, but on ordinary days that you just want to go to work and not be leered at by your boss, there are other ways to get comfortable support without uniboob or supercleavage. I really like stretchy camisoles that are cut so that there is space for the boobs. Like this, see how the seams run up over the chest and add extra fabric right where the breast is? it totally creats a nice comfy place for your boobs to go without pushing them way up or smooshing them together. This sort of thing is what I wear most days, because I find bras just too uncomfortable and showy.
only show cleavage on occasions where you want to look sexy - it can be hard to find shirts that don't suddenly become racily-low-cut once you put them on a large chest, but it's worth taking the time to get shirts that don't. It looks great, don't get me wrong, but I like to save my best looks for special occasions. and don't talk to me about crumbs! it's like wearing a funnel for your lunch to crumble directly into your knickers!
wow, apparently I have a lot to say about boobs! who knew?
I really hope that the answers you get here help, because it's sad to think that you're feeling bad about something that is just a part of your body. Make peace with your chest, it's a nice part of you.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:07 PM on December 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
awesome things about a big chest:
-it balances out your hips visually, so that even if (like me) you have a couple extra pounds of cushiness around the derrierre, you still look good.
-they make your waist look smaller
-there are lots of different ways to dress and get totally different looks out of the same body.
So, here's my dressing tips - waist definition is great - if my clothes don't come in at the waist, I look like an apple on a stick. I generally have to buy clothes in a bigger size, and take them in at the waist a bit so they flatter me. Do you sew or have a friend that sews? if not, lots of dry-cleaners do alterations. a dart here and there makes a huge difference in how clothes flatter your shape.
expensive, well fitted bras are great, but they are generally designed to maximize size, which is great for days that you want to vamp it up a bit, but on ordinary days that you just want to go to work and not be leered at by your boss, there are other ways to get comfortable support without uniboob or supercleavage. I really like stretchy camisoles that are cut so that there is space for the boobs. Like this, see how the seams run up over the chest and add extra fabric right where the breast is? it totally creats a nice comfy place for your boobs to go without pushing them way up or smooshing them together. This sort of thing is what I wear most days, because I find bras just too uncomfortable and showy.
only show cleavage on occasions where you want to look sexy - it can be hard to find shirts that don't suddenly become racily-low-cut once you put them on a large chest, but it's worth taking the time to get shirts that don't. It looks great, don't get me wrong, but I like to save my best looks for special occasions. and don't talk to me about crumbs! it's like wearing a funnel for your lunch to crumble directly into your knickers!
wow, apparently I have a lot to say about boobs! who knew?
I really hope that the answers you get here help, because it's sad to think that you're feeling bad about something that is just a part of your body. Make peace with your chest, it's a nice part of you.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:07 PM on December 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: With regards to the back pain issue, simply carrying around a backpack and walking a lot does not mean you'll have a strong back. I would suggest joining a gym and starting a strength-training program that includes a good deal of core and back work--planks, bent-over barbell rows, one-arm dumbbell rows, face pulls, that kind of stuff. These will really make your back stronger and help it support the weight of your breasts.
posted by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on December 17, 2011
posted by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on December 17, 2011
1. Get rid of that backpack. Buy the snazziest rolling bag you can afford. I got mine on ebags and get tons of compliments on it. You will not believe how much better this makes your life, especially how your back and shoulders feel.
2. If you are spending much time at a keyboard, make sure you are as ergonomically sound as you can be.
3. Suck your lower stomach in as far as you can when you walk and see if this starts to help (over some weeks.) Sometimes a weak core leaves the rest of your muscles overcompensating.
4. Physical therapy to teach you exercises to help. Get a recommendation if you can, they vary so much in skill and knowledge.
posted by fingersandtoes at 6:26 PM on December 17, 2011
2. If you are spending much time at a keyboard, make sure you are as ergonomically sound as you can be.
3. Suck your lower stomach in as far as you can when you walk and see if this starts to help (over some weeks.) Sometimes a weak core leaves the rest of your muscles overcompensating.
4. Physical therapy to teach you exercises to help. Get a recommendation if you can, they vary so much in skill and knowledge.
posted by fingersandtoes at 6:26 PM on December 17, 2011
Start saving for surgery. You could get it done overseas cheaper if you had to pay out of pocket, and backpain makes reduction a medical issue, not cosmetic. Recovery is longer than breast implants because the cuts have to heal, but it's a matter of weeks, not months, and you're on your feet pretty fast again. With your proportions and backpain already, surgery is going to make a huge difference - I had almost exactly the same proportions as you prior to surgery as a teenager.
Minimizer bras push your breast tissue to the side or down. They can help, but they can be uncomfortable worn regularly. You will probably need to try on 20-30 bras in your size to find what works. When you find a comfortable and good bra, buy 2 or 3, not just one. You could try mail-ordering if you can return them easily.
Because you're short, you might try the corset-type bras or a shaper, something that goes from your hips or waist - that can be more comfortable and flattering than a bra alone.
The core muscle advice is good because your body is being asked to carry extra weight all the time and it's an effort. Yoga DVDs at home might help if you're self-conscious about working out at a gym. The bounce of big breasts for a lot of exercise is too painful, even with a great sports bra, so look for something that isn't going to require jostling. Swimming? A tankini, bought in two different sizes is pretty decent, with a big top and smaller bottom.
For clothes, the biggest difference is to get clothes tailored. Either get them custom made to your measurements or get them taken in. Or learn how to do that yourself. With big breasts on a small frame, any top that fits your shoulders is tight across your chest and vice-versa, very unflattering.
It's better to have a small wardrobe of clothes that fit well than wear either a muu-muu or stretched-out knits. With a top, you can usually get waist and shoulder darts added to help.
I could never find an off-the-track jacket that closed across my chest, so instead I opt for cardigan-style jackets meant to be worn open. You can wear either tunics or cropped tops that hit your actual waistline - normal tops will hang around your hips and make you look dumpier. Dresses with princess-cuts or wrap dresses are much much more flattering and make you look sleeker. One-colour or very small prints work better on a small frame. Don't get anything with a fancy neckline except maybe a drape or boatneck which can sometimes, depending on the cut, make your breasts more proportionate.
Basically, think 1950s style. Big skirts can balance out your boobs, A-line skirts work too, all matched with same colour or co-ordinating plain knit tops. Otherwise, wrap-style dresses (not the mock-wrap - a proper dressing-gown style wrap dress in a good-quality stretchy knit, and if it gapes at the front, you can wear a camisole underneath in a co-ordinating colour) will play up your curves and if it's knee-length, not look slutty but professional. Leggings with a tunic that's drapey at the neck but has a waist nipped in can work.
Oh and - there is no bra size. Every brand is different, and every style varies. A 40DD can fit as well as a 38E depending on the cut. Get fitted if you like, but it's much better to just try on a range and then when you have a bra you like, try a cup up and down, a size more or less, and see what works best. It's tedious, but the hours you put in bra shopping will pay back in the months you spend with a comfortable and attractive bra.
posted by viggorlijah at 6:28 PM on December 17, 2011
Minimizer bras push your breast tissue to the side or down. They can help, but they can be uncomfortable worn regularly. You will probably need to try on 20-30 bras in your size to find what works. When you find a comfortable and good bra, buy 2 or 3, not just one. You could try mail-ordering if you can return them easily.
Because you're short, you might try the corset-type bras or a shaper, something that goes from your hips or waist - that can be more comfortable and flattering than a bra alone.
The core muscle advice is good because your body is being asked to carry extra weight all the time and it's an effort. Yoga DVDs at home might help if you're self-conscious about working out at a gym. The bounce of big breasts for a lot of exercise is too painful, even with a great sports bra, so look for something that isn't going to require jostling. Swimming? A tankini, bought in two different sizes is pretty decent, with a big top and smaller bottom.
For clothes, the biggest difference is to get clothes tailored. Either get them custom made to your measurements or get them taken in. Or learn how to do that yourself. With big breasts on a small frame, any top that fits your shoulders is tight across your chest and vice-versa, very unflattering.
It's better to have a small wardrobe of clothes that fit well than wear either a muu-muu or stretched-out knits. With a top, you can usually get waist and shoulder darts added to help.
I could never find an off-the-track jacket that closed across my chest, so instead I opt for cardigan-style jackets meant to be worn open. You can wear either tunics or cropped tops that hit your actual waistline - normal tops will hang around your hips and make you look dumpier. Dresses with princess-cuts or wrap dresses are much much more flattering and make you look sleeker. One-colour or very small prints work better on a small frame. Don't get anything with a fancy neckline except maybe a drape or boatneck which can sometimes, depending on the cut, make your breasts more proportionate.
Basically, think 1950s style. Big skirts can balance out your boobs, A-line skirts work too, all matched with same colour or co-ordinating plain knit tops. Otherwise, wrap-style dresses (not the mock-wrap - a proper dressing-gown style wrap dress in a good-quality stretchy knit, and if it gapes at the front, you can wear a camisole underneath in a co-ordinating colour) will play up your curves and if it's knee-length, not look slutty but professional. Leggings with a tunic that's drapey at the neck but has a waist nipped in can work.
Oh and - there is no bra size. Every brand is different, and every style varies. A 40DD can fit as well as a 38E depending on the cut. Get fitted if you like, but it's much better to just try on a range and then when you have a bra you like, try a cup up and down, a size more or less, and see what works best. It's tedious, but the hours you put in bra shopping will pay back in the months you spend with a comfortable and attractive bra.
posted by viggorlijah at 6:28 PM on December 17, 2011
I'm also busty and shortwaisted, you have my complete sympathy. Consider pilates, yoga, and/or Alexander Technique. All three focus on good posture and lengthening. After doing them I feel that the precious little gap between my ribs and hips has widened, and I feel taller and less compressed in general.
Also, seconding the corset/longline bra. I ended up with one by dint of a terrible bridesmaid dress, but was shocked at how comfortable it was and how it rearranged my torso to look more balanced.
posted by apparently at 6:33 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, seconding the corset/longline bra. I ended up with one by dint of a terrible bridesmaid dress, but was shocked at how comfortable it was and how it rearranged my torso to look more balanced.
posted by apparently at 6:33 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
34E, 5-foot-4 here (with a short waist that makes me look like a pillow tied in the middle if I try to wear a skinny belt or tuck anything in). Check out hourglassy. The discussions on this blog range from the logistical/practical (alterations, lingerie care, bra reviews) to the psychological/philosophical (objectification of women, feminism, breast fetishizing). I found it a rich source of, er, support (even if only from my "invisible friends").
posted by virago at 6:33 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by virago at 6:33 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
A good bra will usually make you look smaller. My Panache Andorra in 12HH is not only comfy, but my mother swears my boobs are tiny in it. Lift and tilt are not the best way to work out a bra fit. Also, i only ever go to bra stores that have professional fitters (preferably larger themselves) and have a range both bigger and smaller (must have 8J as well as 42D). That way i know they aren't cramming me into something to sell it.
I stopped wearing a bra at night and it hellped immensely with the back pain, same with well fitted stuff. Clothing wise I have given up on rules - I will wear a batwing top because I like it, even if it makes me look fatter. I gave up on wrap dresses because the differential was just too much and the gaping just too uncomfortable for me. I occasionally wear a sheathe style dress in stretch (it gives some shape, without emphasis) or a high waisted pencil skirt but mostly i go with wide leg jeans with a form fitting shirt or the opposite of skinny jeans and a loose fit top. I try not to emphasise more than one 'asset'. If it's too clingy I just can't stand it and feel awkward.
posted by geek anachronism at 6:40 PM on December 17, 2011
I stopped wearing a bra at night and it hellped immensely with the back pain, same with well fitted stuff. Clothing wise I have given up on rules - I will wear a batwing top because I like it, even if it makes me look fatter. I gave up on wrap dresses because the differential was just too much and the gaping just too uncomfortable for me. I occasionally wear a sheathe style dress in stretch (it gives some shape, without emphasis) or a high waisted pencil skirt but mostly i go with wide leg jeans with a form fitting shirt or the opposite of skinny jeans and a loose fit top. I try not to emphasise more than one 'asset'. If it's too clingy I just can't stand it and feel awkward.
posted by geek anachronism at 6:40 PM on December 17, 2011
P.S. I second the Pilates recommendation. Pilates has made me aware of how I hold my body, how I breathe and how I move, and has helped me strengthen the core (deep torso and abdomen) postural muscles that help keep the human body balanced and provide support for the spine.
In addition to a rack of doom, I have mild scoliosis (lateral curvature of the spine), and Pilates has helped me strengthen the weak muscles along the left side of my spine that have allowed my vertebrae to be pulled the wrong way by the dominant muscles on the other side.
My instructor, who I like a lot, recommends the Classical series. (As "a broke-ass student," you may be best off looking for this series in a library and trying it out before making the investment.) And this site offers lots of good basic information about getting started, exercises, equipment, clothes, etc.
posted by virago at 6:44 PM on December 17, 2011
In addition to a rack of doom, I have mild scoliosis (lateral curvature of the spine), and Pilates has helped me strengthen the weak muscles along the left side of my spine that have allowed my vertebrae to be pulled the wrong way by the dominant muscles on the other side.
My instructor, who I like a lot, recommends the Classical series. (As "a broke-ass student," you may be best off looking for this series in a library and trying it out before making the investment.) And this site offers lots of good basic information about getting started, exercises, equipment, clothes, etc.
posted by virago at 6:44 PM on December 17, 2011
I'm a few inches taller than you, but have similar proportions. After a year or so of an especially sedentary lifestyle (thanks grad school), I'll admit to getting a bit flabby and losing a lot of the muscle mass I'd built up doing yoga and pilates prior to starting school. I started noticing a huge difference in the level of comfort I felt with my back -- weak, achy, no good.
Part of this was probably the backpack, so make sure yours really does fit you well, especially if you're walking those long distances.
But now that I'm working out again, my back feels so much better. I've chosen workouts that primarily focus on core strength. I can now maintain a good posture comfortably, which isn't always easy when you've got all that weight up front as many ladies here know, and the aches are basically gone. Now that my core is stronger, I feel like I really can carry myself well, and building your shoulder muscles does help visually offset the size of your boobs. I should say that when I'm holding my posture straight and tall with my core muscles, I don't feel like I'm sticking my boobs out -- my back is straight and my shoulders are square, but it feels comfortable and not...over-exposed. (Maybe others feel that way too?)
And, I've been working out from home, so I'm going to make some DVD recommendations! I like the Kristin McGee Pilates for Beginners, the Core Fusion Pure Intensity Cardio, and the Ballet Beautiful Classic Workout, but especially the Ballet Beautiful. I'm no ballerina, trust me, but there's something about the arm & shoulder work that is so totally different than anything else I've ever done and it's having an amazing effect on my posture, the development of my chest, shoulder and back muscles. Also, the Core Fusion workout is great because it's combined cardio with strength training and there's minimal bouncing.
posted by sk932 at 9:16 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Part of this was probably the backpack, so make sure yours really does fit you well, especially if you're walking those long distances.
But now that I'm working out again, my back feels so much better. I've chosen workouts that primarily focus on core strength. I can now maintain a good posture comfortably, which isn't always easy when you've got all that weight up front as many ladies here know, and the aches are basically gone. Now that my core is stronger, I feel like I really can carry myself well, and building your shoulder muscles does help visually offset the size of your boobs. I should say that when I'm holding my posture straight and tall with my core muscles, I don't feel like I'm sticking my boobs out -- my back is straight and my shoulders are square, but it feels comfortable and not...over-exposed. (Maybe others feel that way too?)
And, I've been working out from home, so I'm going to make some DVD recommendations! I like the Kristin McGee Pilates for Beginners, the Core Fusion Pure Intensity Cardio, and the Ballet Beautiful Classic Workout, but especially the Ballet Beautiful. I'm no ballerina, trust me, but there's something about the arm & shoulder work that is so totally different than anything else I've ever done and it's having an amazing effect on my posture, the development of my chest, shoulder and back muscles. Also, the Core Fusion workout is great because it's combined cardio with strength training and there's minimal bouncing.
posted by sk932 at 9:16 PM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I cannot help you with any breast-specific stuff, but work over a keyboard all day and develop a horribly hunched-over posture with attendant shoulder, and neck pain, as well as triggering crippling headaches. Pretty much the best way for me to avoid that over the years has been exercise that strengthens the lower and upper back, especially when it emphasises keeping good form; deadlifts, squats, and pull-ups all keep my back springing into a proper shape and prevent that kind of pain.
posted by rodgerd at 10:48 AM on December 18, 2011
posted by rodgerd at 10:48 AM on December 18, 2011
I have the same proportions as you, but am taller, and I came in to echo basically what everyone's said- exercise for your shoulders and back muscles will help immensely. I have a slipped disc in my upper spine and it used to bother me a lot; now that I exercise regularly it only flares up occasionally, and the level of pain is way reduced. I've found that yoga and swimming are great, and any vigorous aerobic exercise to really get blood flowing seems to make me feel better as well. Walking is a good thing, but it won't do a whole lot for your back pain and discomfort (I used to walk for my main exercise as well, but adding the other stuff in makes me feel better.)
I'd also recommend getting a book showing you how to do yoga poses. You can do exercise for your back at home and a little bit goes a long way!
good luck.
posted by bearette at 6:47 PM on December 18, 2011
I'd also recommend getting a book showing you how to do yoga poses. You can do exercise for your back at home and a little bit goes a long way!
good luck.
posted by bearette at 6:47 PM on December 18, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
On appearance side - They do make reducing bras (bras to make you look smaller) - and a professional bra place may have them. But something to be aware of is that currently, your breasts and your hips are balanced. I've had friends at your height with your size of hips but smaller breasts, and it made them very pear shaped (which looked worse - they looked heavier than they were). This also depends on the size of your shoulders, of course. It's just something to keep in mind.
I do feel your pain - I'm not as curvy, but I find that a lot of contemporary clothing is cut very boxy, with no waist, and looks terrible on women who have a high waist-hip ratio. I blame fashion designers who only work with models who have a low waist-hip ratio, and the manufacturers who slavishly copy their designs into every other size.
posted by jb at 6:59 AM on December 17, 2011 [1 favorite]