Help me help my dog and dog sitter?
December 10, 2011 8:40 AM Subscribe
Best way to make my dog happy while I'm out of town.
I travel a lot for work, I'll be home for a few weeks and then I'll leave again. My dog goes with me sometimes but if I know I won't be in my hotel room much and I'll be working a lot I leave her here with a friend/dog sitter. The problem is that she causes such problems for the friend watching her. She won't eat and she will whine for hours after I leave. Even days after I'm gone she will lay in the living room and whine or just lay there acting sad. If I'm gone a good while my dog will eventually eat her dog food but for at least 2-3 days she won't eat or play with the other dogs. My friend feels like crap because she thinks she isn't taking good care of my baby and that leads to me feeling bad because my friend feels bad. When I take her with me she's perfect, she loves the traveling and staying in hotel rooms. But that is not always a possibility and sometimes I have to leave her at home.
What is the best way that I can make my dog happy while still being able to work? I buy her a new toy every time I leave, so she has something different to play with. I always leave her with a shirt or two that smells like me, because someone said that would help her cope without me. I'm out of ideas, help please!!
I travel a lot for work, I'll be home for a few weeks and then I'll leave again. My dog goes with me sometimes but if I know I won't be in my hotel room much and I'll be working a lot I leave her here with a friend/dog sitter. The problem is that she causes such problems for the friend watching her. She won't eat and she will whine for hours after I leave. Even days after I'm gone she will lay in the living room and whine or just lay there acting sad. If I'm gone a good while my dog will eventually eat her dog food but for at least 2-3 days she won't eat or play with the other dogs. My friend feels like crap because she thinks she isn't taking good care of my baby and that leads to me feeling bad because my friend feels bad. When I take her with me she's perfect, she loves the traveling and staying in hotel rooms. But that is not always a possibility and sometimes I have to leave her at home.
What is the best way that I can make my dog happy while still being able to work? I buy her a new toy every time I leave, so she has something different to play with. I always leave her with a shirt or two that smells like me, because someone said that would help her cope without me. I'm out of ideas, help please!!
How much time does Dog spend with Friend when you're in town? Maybe Dog associates Friend with losing you. If you and Dog hang out together with Friend more often, she might not seem like such a portent of doom.
posted by Quietgal at 9:00 AM on December 10, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Quietgal at 9:00 AM on December 10, 2011 [2 favorites]
I have a dog too, and I travel a lot. When I am not traveling, I work from home and spend all day with the dog. My dog does not like when I travel either.
I visited A LOT of kennels in my area. It took a while to find one that provide a nice size run for each dog, plenty of daily exercise, and the people were good. I have to drive a bit out of the way to get to the kennel, but it has been worth it.
My kennel offers doggie day-care. I try to bring him to day-care at least once a week while I am home. Because of the fun day-care interaction with other dogs, my dog loves the kennel. Once every few weeks, when he stays there for a few days (or longer), is not so bad because he knows the kennel really well.
Also, being a loyal customer to the kennel, both for over-night and day-care, I know the owners are watching my dog well. They know that I looked around at lots of kennels. They are working for my dog to keep me as a customer.
posted by Flood at 9:01 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
I visited A LOT of kennels in my area. It took a while to find one that provide a nice size run for each dog, plenty of daily exercise, and the people were good. I have to drive a bit out of the way to get to the kennel, but it has been worth it.
My kennel offers doggie day-care. I try to bring him to day-care at least once a week while I am home. Because of the fun day-care interaction with other dogs, my dog loves the kennel. Once every few weeks, when he stays there for a few days (or longer), is not so bad because he knows the kennel really well.
Also, being a loyal customer to the kennel, both for over-night and day-care, I know the owners are watching my dog well. They know that I looked around at lots of kennels. They are working for my dog to keep me as a customer.
posted by Flood at 9:01 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also nthing a kennel. There are some really amazon ones out there; you just have to do a little research. Our dog has some separation anxiety, but I don't even think our dog "thinks" about us while there. There is just too much other fun to be had!
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:06 AM on December 10, 2011
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:06 AM on December 10, 2011
Amazon=amazing. Autocorrect!
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:07 AM on December 10, 2011
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:07 AM on December 10, 2011
Response by poster: I didn't think about doggie daycare, I'll look into that. When I'm home we spend a good bit of time with the friend she stays with, I made sure my dog and my friend got along before I left her with her, and she loves my friend's dogs when I'm there with her too. I even tried talking to her on the phone, I'll call and my friend puts the phone to her ear. I know it sounds weird but another friend told me it might help my dogs anxiety. I looked into kennels but I didn't feel right about leaving her there because most of the ones around here would leave her locked in a cage most of the day and I don't want her locked in a cage.
posted by roxiesmom at 9:18 AM on December 10, 2011
posted by roxiesmom at 9:18 AM on December 10, 2011
We also found a great kennel that has a daycare. We make sure to take himto daycare frequently throughout the year, and he LOVES it there. It took a while to get him used to it, but now he starts going mental when we pull into the driveway, and he'll basically sprint through the door and past the reception to get to his buddies. When we leave town and he stays in the kennel, he gets to go to doggie daycare for a full or half-day, and it helps that he knows all of the staff and vice versa.
There are also combo daycare/kennels in private homes, which works well for some people. The key is to get acclimated with different lengths of time at the other location. Sometimes it's a half day, sometimes a full day, sometimes a weekend, sometimes longer.
If your dog stays home with the friend, instead of a toy, I'd make sure to give her a new bullystick or kong filled with excellent treats. And lots of long walks. Right now your friend is probably trying to urge the dog to eat, with all sort of anxious antics, which basically has the opposite effect. Don't leave food down for the dog 24/7 - offer it for 15 minutes, then pick up the bowl and do it again later. She'll learn to eat quickly. Do this even when you're home with the dog, so it's not only a trick for your friend.
posted by barnone at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
There are also combo daycare/kennels in private homes, which works well for some people. The key is to get acclimated with different lengths of time at the other location. Sometimes it's a half day, sometimes a full day, sometimes a weekend, sometimes longer.
If your dog stays home with the friend, instead of a toy, I'd make sure to give her a new bullystick or kong filled with excellent treats. And lots of long walks. Right now your friend is probably trying to urge the dog to eat, with all sort of anxious antics, which basically has the opposite effect. Don't leave food down for the dog 24/7 - offer it for 15 minutes, then pick up the bowl and do it again later. She'll learn to eat quickly. Do this even when you're home with the dog, so it's not only a trick for your friend.
posted by barnone at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
Please do look into doggie daycare - perhaps if you post your location, mefites will have some local suggestions. If you're in Los Angeles, please memail me for a suggestion. The daycare we take our dog to lets the dogs run around all day, they are never locked up. They have an indoor area and an outdoor area, weather permitting, including a jungle gym and pool. Our dog loves it!
posted by insectosaurus at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2011
posted by insectosaurus at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2011
You know what? It sounds like you're doing everything you can. Neither you nor your friend are going to change your dogs intrinsic personality. We cannot kennel our dog at all, so my husband and I virtually never travel together. When he goes away, she's fine; when I go away, she stops eating, ignores my husband completely and mopes relentlessly. I believe her record is 7 days for not eating. She's upset - she misses me and nothing is going to change that.
posted by DarlingBri at 9:46 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by DarlingBri at 9:46 AM on December 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
I looked into kennels but I didn't feel right about leaving her there because most of the ones around here would leave her locked in a cage most of the day
Are there none in your area that have onsite doggie day care? Try searching for doggie day care places and ask if they offer boarding. Both of the kennels I use include day care when you board with them, so my dog gets to play all day. Also, if your dog is on the smaller side, she might like to have her crate/carrier in the kennel with her so she can curl up somewhere safe and familiar. That's what I ask the kennel staff do for my dog (they're always perfectly happy to comply).
posted by Meg_Murry at 9:56 AM on December 10, 2011
Are there none in your area that have onsite doggie day care? Try searching for doggie day care places and ask if they offer boarding. Both of the kennels I use include day care when you board with them, so my dog gets to play all day. Also, if your dog is on the smaller side, she might like to have her crate/carrier in the kennel with her so she can curl up somewhere safe and familiar. That's what I ask the kennel staff do for my dog (they're always perfectly happy to comply).
posted by Meg_Murry at 9:56 AM on December 10, 2011
Response by poster: I live in Wichita Falls, Texas, I just want my baby to be happy and not sad. I hate that she won't eat, my friend won't leave the food down all the time. I think she leaves it down for an hour and then picks it up and will put it back down after awhile. She even lets my dog sleep in the bed with her (she doesn't do that for her own dogs) because my dog will cuddle up to her and whine at night. I'm home for a few weeks now and she's happy and she seems perfectly content with me home. But I leave again and I'll be gone for almost a month and I can't take her with me, I almost don't want to leave.
posted by roxiesmom at 9:56 AM on December 10, 2011
posted by roxiesmom at 9:56 AM on December 10, 2011
Reacclimate your dog with your friend, just as the suggestions for acclimating your dog to doggy daycare. Start taking her over there when you are home and leaving her with your friend for an hour or so at a time. At least once or twice a week. Stay away longer sometimes. One way of doing this is, when you are going, say, to the movies with your friend, go to her house to pick her up and leave your dog there for the time of the movie, then, when you drop your friend off, you can pick your dog back up. (and maybe pay for the movie for your friend helping you out.)
Leaving her there for 10-15 minutes at a time at first would be really great.
posted by Vaike at 11:28 AM on December 10, 2011
Leaving her there for 10-15 minutes at a time at first would be really great.
posted by Vaike at 11:28 AM on December 10, 2011
Do you leave her something with your scent on it? Sleep with a small blanket for two or three nights before you leave, then leave the blanket with your friend. Have your friend lay the blanket in a comfy spot for your doggy to curl up with. Since you'll be gone for extended periods maybe you could have three or four of these that you keep in baggies and your friend could give her a new one every week?
You could also practice going to your friend's house and walking in and out of the front door. Leave for five minutes, have friend give doggy a treat. Come in and pretend like nothing happened. Then do it again. Over and over.
posted by TooFewShoes at 2:32 PM on December 10, 2011
You could also practice going to your friend's house and walking in and out of the front door. Leave for five minutes, have friend give doggy a treat. Come in and pretend like nothing happened. Then do it again. Over and over.
posted by TooFewShoes at 2:32 PM on December 10, 2011
Response by poster: I always send a couple shirts and a blanket with my dog when I take her to my friends. We are currently at my friend's house and my dog is happily playing with her dogs and eating treats. It's like she loves it here when I'm here but hates it when here when I'm gone. I'll try to the leaving and her getting treats while I'm gone and see if that won't help. I'll be home for 3 weeks before I leave again, so we've got time to try and help her. I don't want my friend going crazy with my dog acting up while I'm gone for a month.
posted by roxiesmom at 3:01 PM on December 10, 2011
posted by roxiesmom at 3:01 PM on December 10, 2011
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posted by shoesietart at 8:54 AM on December 10, 2011 [2 favorites]