Inexpensive wedding venue (NYC) help.
December 2, 2011 10:07 AM   Subscribe

My very low maintenance cousin and her even lower maintenance fiance is getting married in 4 months!! The only thing they really care about is the date. As far as planning goes, they still pretty much need everything. Most importantly a venue. She'd prefer something in Brooklyn or Queens (NYC). Budget is a major concern.

She's requested my help and now I'm requesting yours. They want a happy, low stress, low cost event where everyone will have tons of fun. There is a color scheme but no specific theme. If the ceremony and reception could happen in the same location that would be best. It's in early April so that may rule out outdoor locations.

Ok honestly, neither of us know a damn thing about planning a wedding or even weddings in general. Wedding websites are overwhelming although thanks to previous askme's we're checking out offbeatbrides and brokeassbrides. I want to be as helpful as possible.

Inexpensive venue options - $1K for around 100 people.
There is no theme. Do they need a theme?
Can this be done in 4 months? I'm sure it can. But how?
Is there always a ceremony and then a reception? Can these be combined?
If she's using one venue for both, what happens during the time between the ceremony and reception? Where do the people go?

Excuse my ignorance, please.
posted by mokeydraws to Human Relations (16 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
How about a movie theater?
posted by swift at 10:15 AM on December 2, 2011


1k - is the the whole budget or just site fee? Because honestly if that's the budget it isn't possible unless they are literally going to just have people watch them get married and have a potluck.
posted by JPD at 10:16 AM on December 2, 2011


I can't help you with venues in your area but:

They don't need a theme. They need someone to marry them and witnesses (if necessary in NY state).

It can be done in four months, provided that you find a venue you can afford. Everything else is much, much easier and there are tons more options (photographers, cake, whatever). Also, everything else you can do without in a pinch (photographers, cake, whatever).

There is always a ceremony and then a reception as, theoretically, the reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony. Feeding them cake and punch is fine, as long as that's not over dinner or lunch. If over dinner or lunch, heavy appetizers are fine, emphasis on the heavy. If you can afford a meal serve a meal. Buffet works, catered sit down works, restaurant at venue works. Important thing is, reception is for the guests, feed them the appropriate meal for the time of day. You can absolutely have the ceremony at the reception site. Again, you only need someone to marry you and witnesses (if applicable).

Depends, what are the newlyweds doing? If they're taking pictures post ceremony, serve your guests some cocktails and snacks. If the newlyweds just want to hang around, feed your guests dinner/heavy apps/whatever. People can stay, or can be moved to a separate area while the venue people move chairs, for example. But this is a question for potential venues. Plug an ipod in and you're golden, give people a drink, and you're golden.
posted by lydhre at 10:18 AM on December 2, 2011


There is no theme. Do they need a theme? No
Can this be done in 4 months? I'm sure it can. But how? Yes - very easily.
Is there always a ceremony and then a reception? Can these be combined? They can do what ever they want. Really. You could get married at the courthouse and just have a dinner, you could do the marriage while people are seated at their tables. Literally anything at all.
If she's using one venue for both, what happens during the time between the ceremony and reception? Where do the people go? If its a catering hall they usually have a place people have the ceremony and then they trundle into the reception space. Alternately they have a place people have drinks while they breakdown the room. It sounds like the Bride and Groom are the sort who would take the pics before the wedding, so there doesn't need to be a gap.
posted by JPD at 10:19 AM on December 2, 2011


Between a ceremony and reception there is usually a cocktail hour, with drinks and sometimes food. Sometimes the bride and groom do not attend cocktail hour, or only attend part of cocktail hour and use the time to be alone or take photos.

Is the $1,000 budget also including the cost of feeding guests? I am not sure if $10/person is feasible for a reception, especially not in Brooklyn or Queens.

You could have the ceremony in Brooklyn Bridge park, the permit is $425. For other parks it seems like you could pay anywhere from $600-$3,000 for a wedding permit. fee schedule here
posted by inertia at 10:23 AM on December 2, 2011


So, they need everything? Do they want like, a fun ramshackle shindig type party that's randomly held at a park, or do they want something slightly more formal (it's easy to opt for the former until you remember that Great Aunt Bessie is flying in from Tampa to see you get married)? Because NYC wedding venues, both official and unofficial ones, are known for getting booked well in advance, especially the affordable places. Can they feasibly put off the date for another few months to give them a leg up?

$1K is extremely inexpensive for getting married in the city. I'd suggest checking out low-key bars (once we accidentally scheduled a meet-up at Harefield Road in Williamsburg during a wedding party) with a cute outdoor space. You can also get a permit to get married at one of the parks - DUMBO's Brooklyn Bridge Park is popular and cheap - but that doesn't help if you get an April shower, nor do I know how you'd swing the reception.

I can memail you some recommendations of other inexpensive venues, but they're still twice as much as their budget.

We recently got married at the DUMBO loft, both ceremony and reception, and it was great. However, we felt lucky to have paid something like $2500 for it, and we got that deal because the wedding was small and on a Friday.

Are you mainly looking for a venue, or do you also want the myriad small tips to save money? I think we ultimately paid less than $10K for our wedding of 100, which everyone said was next to impossible if we had catering, a photographer, cakes, a real dress, etc., but we somehow managed. I'm biased, but people told us they had a blast, so we did something right!
posted by zoomorphic at 10:29 AM on December 2, 2011


If $1k is the total budget, then you'll pretty much need to either do the ceremony in a park and then have a picnic, or find a friend's place to host it. $10/head is really, really difficult in NYC. Brooklyn Bridge Park is nice, and a good backdrop for photos, and you could do something cute with picnic-y stuff there, or go to Bubby's nearby for food (though that will definitely be more than $10/head, they do weddings all the time and might be able to work something out).

For the rest, pulling together something like this in 4 months is absolutely doable. You need an officiant (conveniently, I am ordained in the Universal Life Church and located in NYC if you need someone) and a marriage license. That's it. No theme required, no fancy decorations required. If they want photos, either have specific attendees bring cameras or see if they can find a local photo student to do it on the cheap.
posted by bedhead at 10:31 AM on December 2, 2011


We planned our event in under 4 months (although we spent more than $1k on a venue and much more than that on catering--the booze came in at just over $1600, though, but we had quite a bit left over). Quite a few places we looked at weren't available that soon, but several were. We had no trouble finding caterers who were available on four months notice in Chicago; I'd imagine Brooklyn would be the same.

Remember that you can style your event any way you like. You don't need a theme, or colors, or favors or anything you don't want. Our "wedding" consisted of finger foods and an open bar, which we interrupted for five minutes (about 90 minutes after the start time to make sure everyone was there) so the guests could watch us sign the marriage license and exchange rings. It was--basically--five hours of cocktail party in a fancy place with everyone in fancy clothes. So, no, you don't need a separate reception and ceremony, but if you want them separate, you should separate them. Of the last six weddings I've been to, only 2 had a ceremony at the church, followed by a reception in an entirely different location.

We told all our vendors in the initial chat that it was just a party to avoid the "wedding" mark-up as well as to convey what sort of event we were talking about. We weren't trying to cheat any vendor, but take--for example--the photographer. "Wedding" photographers for the most part only sell all-day packages which include all sorts of specific posed shots of the wedding party, family, and special events--like putting on the wedding dress, first dance, riding in the limo. As we had no wedding party and spent the day at home, chatting with random guests and our cats, and then rode over in a cab, that was overkill for us. We just needed 3 hours of candid shots at a party, but we could not get any "wedding" photographer to understand that. By approaching freelance event photographers with a request for candid shots at a party, we started the conversation off with appropriate expectations.

The practical wedding website was recommended recently and it does a great job of talking you down from the wedding-industrial complex. I think it's easiest, though, just to avoid all wedding planning books, blogs, magazines, and media. Just decide how you'd like the party to look, what sort of dress you want to wear, whether you want a ceremony or just a quick formality and go from there.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:32 AM on December 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm a registered marriage officiant in NYC. Even if they want to have the official ceremony done in the courthouse, there is a 24 hour cooling off period. They need to go to the courthouse and get their marriage license, wait until the next day, and then go back and make it official. Alternatively, an officiant can make it official after the 24 hour cooling off period. They definitely can't just run down to the courthouse and get hitched, so they should plan ahead for this.
posted by AaRdVarK at 10:33 AM on December 2, 2011


Response by poster: Yes they do want to feed everyone. The $1K estimate is just for the venue!
posted by mokeydraws at 10:37 AM on December 2, 2011


Marriage at the courthouse followed by a potluck reception?
posted by sugarbomb at 10:43 AM on December 2, 2011


Response by poster: Zoomorphic - Yes please all the tips please!
posted by mokeydraws at 10:43 AM on December 2, 2011


From ms. Vegetable-
I heard a trick on thriftyfun.com, i think, where all the guests did something different for the wedding. So one brings flowers, one brings bubbles, etc. it cuts down on the cost significantly, and guests like to contribute something useful. I'd also imagine in NY that having spaceto store traditional wedding gifts would be hard.
I'd consider the courthouse for the ceremony-cheap, and you can definitely have guests and it be meaningful. Or a guest can become an officiant.
Totally doable. I'llkeep pondering. (mr. Meat and i had a Very lowkey wedding. Outside in front of the courthouse because it was a pretty day, and then lunch at a local restaurant, no alcohol, my sister had a pro baker friend make the cake.)
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:52 AM on December 2, 2011


I attended a wedding at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden - it was pretty neat, but the event was very early in the morning, with the reception later at a big beer garden in Queens.

The botanic garden has a page about it.
posted by exogenous at 1:10 PM on December 2, 2011


you can absolutely plan something on 4 months, my engagement was even shorter. the fact that I was looking to get married on a Sunday, rather than a popular Friday or Saturday, made finding a venue easier. so consider that. or a weekday.
posted by sabh at 5:07 PM on December 2, 2011


Oh, sorry, I just saw this! Here is my totally disorganized hodgepodge to how we wound up having a really lovely (I think!) wedding in Brooklyn for under $10K.

*We didn't spend any money on flowers. No one leaves a wedding saying, "The booze and dancing were fun, but what I really loved were the flowers." I personally love flowers in my home and it was hard to accept that my wedding wouldn't be bursting at the seams with pretty bouquets *until* I saw how much florists charge. At that point I said "eff this" and made my own really pretty paper flowers using gold leaf paper, old story books and a lot of floral wire. Memail me if you want pictures and a guide.

*In lieu of flowers, we did a lot of candles, which gave the loft a really warm, intimate vibe.

*We reserved our venue on a Friday night, which cut down our rental fee by 30%.

*We had a friend-of-a-friend cater the entire thing. He was beyond talented, and people raved about the food. He also wildly undercharged us to the point that I wound up giving him an extra 25% on top of the tip. I can check and see if he's cool with me forwarding along his information. Also, our BBQ/Southern fare was really cheap to do, I think.

*We made a deal with an independent wine vendor instead of a store or a company, and wound up getting cases of cava for $7/bottle that actually retailed at $23/bottle.

*We bought our beer from Jetro.

*A lot of decorations came from Save On Crafts.

*I found my dress during an outing in Columbus, OH. It was a pretty 1950s dress that would have been pricey in NYC, but the beauty of shopping in the Midwest is that everything is way more affordable. If the bride can get outside of the city to find a dress, I'd suggest she do it.

*No bridesmaids, no groomsmen. This saved our friends' money. We had several people read passages, though.

*As a disciplined baker, I didn't want a frou frou wedding cake that looked gorgeous and tasted like cardboard, so I opted for a 3-tiered, plain white buttercream cake. The plan was to decorate the cake with tiny twigs and put two little birdie figurines at the top (our wedding was in autumn, so the white icing doubled as a snowy setting for the birds and trees, if that makes sense). I also didn't tell the company it was for a wedding, which tends to dramatically cut down on costs.

*That said, we had a MASSIVE snafu with the wedding cake about a week before the wedding. We were supposed to get a simple tiered red velvet cake from Cake Man Raven, but due to some, ahem, legal troubles, they basically just canceled our order. At the last minute I managed to wrangle 3 delicious cakes from Baked in Red Hook, plus 6 dozen cupcakes by Robicelli's, which created a really cute dessert bar. The total for desserts was $300.

*Photography was important to me, but we didn't have tons of money, so we hired a new, young photographer from a reputable wedding photography company (Photo Pink) who was generally working as an assistant to the other, more well-known photographers. They even threw in a free engagement shoot, which we never would have sprung for on our own. We also asked her to come for only 6 hours instead of the typical 8, as I didn't really want shots of me getting ready/putting on my lipstick/whatever.

*I hired our violinist after listening to him perform on a subway platform. He was extremely talented and got to network a bit with my musician friends.
posted by zoomorphic at 7:02 AM on December 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


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