Faking wrist cutting...?
November 30, 2011 3:06 PM   Subscribe

What is the best technique/props for faking cutting your wrists with a razor blade?

Yeah, uh, I will be performing at a karaoke contest with Air Supply's version of "Without You" and I'm hoping some theatrics near the end of my rendition will send it over the top.

I'm just not sure about the best way to go about making/acquiring a fake razor blade and concealed fake blood.
posted by jeroum to Grab Bag (14 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
The easiest version would be something like this except with a straight razor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AuJx5MRTOA

You'll probably want to go with a larger prop than a razor blade anyways so people can see what you're doing
posted by caliban at 3:13 PM on November 30, 2011


If you'd consider tastefulness and sensitivity to your audience among the criteria for best technique, then either omitting this or just miming it with your hands would probably be best. I'm all for macabre, gallows humor, but I don't know that a karaoke contest gives you much room to manage the tone or prepare your audience for what they'll see.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 3:18 PM on November 30, 2011 [13 favorites]


What Monsieur Caution said. Although I have often felt like cutting my wrists watching Karaoke, I'd be royally pissed to have to watch the singer apparently cut theirs.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 3:24 PM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


I have to go with Mr. Caution on this one, were I to encounter that, unprepared, I would find it disturbing (especially if it was done well/realistically), also consider what that act might mean to someone who has either experienced a loved one committing suicide or had attempted it themselves...
posted by tomswift at 3:25 PM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Both writers of "Without You" committed suicide by hanging. So, in addition to being really, really distasteful, your performance will also be inaccurate.

Plus there will very probably be several 911 calls before everyone realizes it was all a (terrible) joke.

Do not do.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:25 PM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Oh! That said, you could always go Sweeney Todd and just stuff some red party poppers up your sleeves.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:33 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, how about doing something that's a little less likely to trigger someone else in the audience into self-harm?
posted by chaiminda at 3:56 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: Well I am going for a more cartoonish effect, and I have considered the fact that the action might throw people off/be disturbing. I will be making it clear through my performance that I have slightly comical intentions beforehand. I just had this idea today so I am not committed to anything and I'm not trying to offend anyone.

It IS at a buffalo wing restaurant, so maybe I could go with some hot sauce?
posted by jeroum at 3:58 PM on November 30, 2011


I thought the red party poppers idea was good, because they still convey the campiness appropriate to the venue. A comically oversized, crude, and obviously homemade-looking razor hidden in your jacket might as well. Touching on this topic at all may still draw some "That's not funny" fire, but at least your intent to keep it light and not trigger anyone would be fairly clear.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 4:18 PM on November 30, 2011


Do you know what the setup will be like? Perhaps it would be more effective (and less messy and indignation-causing) to just pull cartoony props out of a bag as you sing the song. Big bottle with cartoonish skull on it, rope noose (for veracity, as Sys Rq points out), big rubber knife, fake bottle of lighter fluid you can spray on yourself. You can close out the song by pulling a plastic bag over your head.

I mean, if you're gonna be distasteful at least don't stain the floor. Some buffalo wing server will have to clean that red syrup up.
posted by phearlez at 4:44 PM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Okay. I realise the potential tasteless repercussions regarding this potential performance.

However, I wasn't questioning these aspects, or asking for "permission."

Really, what I want to know about are the more technical aspects of this situation. Caliban's (the first post) video was the only helpful comment in that regard so far (also, party poppers is not a bad idea, Sys Rq).

I am still interested if anyone has any tips regarding how I might pull this off. Think about this in more of a movie-special-effects way.
posted by jeroum at 5:08 PM on November 30, 2011


Just a random thought, sans research: Aren't there fake looking swords or knives that can store fake blood? Try theater stores online, rather than Halloween stores.
I also like the hot sauce idea. Even better, have some wings nearby, "dip them" after your theatrics, and take a bite.
posted by DisreputableDog at 6:05 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Be careful that the hot sauce isn't too hot, like, burning your skin hot.

Though I will also say that I honestly find phearlez's suggestion funnier than the idea of being surprised by watching someone fake-realistically cut their wrists. It ramps up the absurdity and plays off the length of the song.
posted by stoneandstar at 11:07 PM on November 30, 2011


If you really want to pull off the cutting I think your best bet would be to use something similar to the kind of solution that faith healers use to fake removing tumors. You can video of Penn & Teller demonstrating it but I am not sure they talk about how to do it.

Essentially, as I recall, it's a fragile balloon-type thing made with rubber cement and filled with your grody liquid of choice. You can palm it and, for your purposes, squeeze it and extrude the liquid.

Or perhaps have it already stuck to your wrist. As others pointed out, razor blades are hard to see. I think you'd get better laughs and visuals if you just use a restaurant dull-ish knife. The problem is getting enough liquid for it to be worth it.

For THAT purpose I think you really need a bulb and tube. Can you wear long sleeves to hide it? If you have the bulb under your arm you can squeeze elbow to torso to squirt stuff out. If you can get your hands on a saline IV it would have everything you need; you'd just need to color the contents.

Oh, actually it looks like this enema bag solution is the cheap way to go. Hang it off your shoulder so it's against your body under your arm.

But I still think you're going to piss off the restaurant with the mess.
posted by phearlez at 11:11 AM on December 1, 2011


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