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November 30, 2011 1:06 AM   Subscribe

What are some awesome things that are far easier to do when single? If you're coupled, what do you miss about being single?

I've been in serious, long term relationships for most of my twenties. Now I'm not in one and I don't want that to change for a while. I'd like to enjoy the hell out of being single. Ideas?

Things I've done and enjoyed:
-Taking up the whole bed
-Decorating my space exactly as I want it to be decorated
-Hanging out late with my best friends without having to check in with anyone
-Flings and hookups
-Developed close friendships with single people without worrying about anyone's jealousy
-Quitting my stable but frustrating job for a riskier but more fulfilling one
-Made plans for travel to foreign countries
-Made a two year plan to move to a city I've always wanted to live in
-Long solo road trips
-Spending as much time and money as I want on my hobbies and random impulses

(Sorry if this is chatfilter. I'm basically asking for the single person's equivalent of this thread. )
posted by sockomatic to Human Relations (35 answers total) 117 users marked this as a favorite
What do you miss about being single?

Making huge life changes -- much harder to do when it requires bilateral agreement.

Adding new people to the social circle -- coupledom tends toward stability more than the novel.

Taking lovers -- being intimately connected to someone for a short time. There's a lot that can be shared in the space of intimacy. Just because it's not going to last, doesn't mean it's not going to enrich. (Note, this is different from flings and hookups.)

Self-enrichment -- whether that be classes, volunteer work, social clubs. There's a lot that can be done in the evenings when one does not have to run home.

Self-discovery -- the goal of relationships is stability. While that is valuable, being single is a great time to experiment with new philosophies, eating habits, exercise programmes, and everything else.

Wardrobe -- often in relationships, the couple starts looking alike. It's fun to change the wardrobe. Try a new style, see how you like it.

Roommates -- when you move to a new city, roommates are often a very good way to meet people and learn about the place. Couple relationships are mutually non-conducive to roommate situations.

Like you, I spent most of my early 20s in relationships, and I really enjoyed being single for a number of years after that.

I changed cities, changed social circles, changed wardrobe, changed career... just, well, changed everything! It was lovely, and I am all the better for it. And now I live in Europe instead of California, which had always been a dream.

One thing about being single that I miss the most are the friendships. You can be friends with some many different kinds of people when you're single. In a relationship, friendships seem to tend toward people both partners like -- or tolerate. I found getting involved in the art scene to be amazingly rewarding. It's hard to do in a couple because of the hours/locations/etc of events and the randomness of people.

The other thing is that one gets better at being single. Things get more interesting as time goes and you re-discover yourself.

Maximise! Maximise!
posted by nickrussell at 1:26 AM on November 30, 2011 [15 favorites]

Ignoring my phone for ages.

Not sharing my food...there's something really nice about the consistency of knowing that if I buy a tub of ice cream and only eat half of it, the other half will definitely be there when I return for more.

Watching whatever I want to watch, at whatever hour, wherever I want.

Saving money is much easier.

I can say yes or no to plans – especially those that fall on prime nights – without having to get back to the inviter later. I am the insta-decider!

Incidentally, these are also all things that make being single lonely and sucky at times too.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:02 AM on November 30, 2011 [6 favorites]


Trying out new food.

Doing anything you don't want anyone else to know about.

Testing new sleep schedules (eg. getting up with the sun).

And other lifesytle experiments, like exercising in the morning (without waking up your partner), meditating (without coordinating with your partner for 30 minutes of peace and quiet), ditching the TV, "no impact" month, etc.

Also, there's only half the amount of obligatory family social events.
posted by gakiko at 3:42 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love being single! It is not lonely/sucky for me at all. Nickrussell's excellent comment covers a lot of what makes being single fun for many people. There's not much I can add to that, but I can try.

I love having my own rituals, coming home late and not needing to let anyone else know, coming home early and being able to veg out without needing to be sociable with people. I like being able to keep the apartment the way *I* like it and not having to worry about someone else's preferences. I have a very busy life - work is hectic and I have a lot of stuff going on outside work - and it's nice to go home, decompress, and just be.

In my social and work-life I am one of those overly nice people who's always worrying about what other people think etc. It's nice to come home and be top dog.

One of the things that sucks about being single is also one of the most valuable things about it. When you have problems and there's no one else around to shoulder the burden it kind of sucks but it also really shows you what you are capable of achieving. That can include practical things like stuff going wrong around the house - after a cossetted upbringing, I have become really good at DIY fixes with no man around to do things for me - as well as personal problems. You learn to depend on yourself. You realise you can depend on yourself.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:44 AM on November 30, 2011 [7 favorites]

I appreciate the question. It sparks thoughts I hadn't thought to think.

What comes to mind first are no judgments, no opinions, no teasing bits of mockery, whether innocent or otherwise, there's an unconstricted quality to being on your own that feels like fresh and infinite freedom sometimes. So too the corollary: Not having to justify, explain, counter, provide context, force cheer, charm, or good nature, even if these responses are not self-defensive, even if I'm not having a bad day.

Then there's ...

* Keeping strange hours: eating, sleeping, walking, showering, dressing, grooming, shopping when I want.

* Following hours-long, days-long, weeks-long obsessions as they arise.

* Talking on the phone from late night to early morning with a similarly single friend.

* Driving fast with, yes, the window open, and the music on 'high.'

* Not having to talk after a long day immersed in silent thought.

* Not being seen when I don't want to be looked at.

* Not feeling ashamed if I feel self-conscious, foolish, inept.

But perhaps the element of surprise, the sense of possibility, is the most important. The hardest sometimes, but also the most exciting, invigorating: It's something that forces you to rise to the occasion, but only for your own sake. Not knowing quite who you'll meet, or what you'll do is so unbearably hard to pull off when you're with someone.

Like you, I was coupled most of my 20s. Unlike you, most of my 30s, too: There was always someone or another; some for a very long time.

From my late teenaged years, I always thought women gave up so much more than men did. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not. Sometimes knowingly, sometimes not. It has always seemed to me that women were better off without men. That is not to say I'd didn't take true and thorough pleasure in my couplings. I most certainly did. But men are only fully immersed in the beginning, in my experience. For women, the immersion never quite ends. And a lot gets compromised in the bargain.

As I write these words I wonder if I ever really want to couple again. And although I think I do, part of me is deeply unsure. If society allowed for more free flow between the single and the paired or grouped, I'm not sure singledom would be such a problem for some of us. But maybe the pressure come from romantic fantasies as much as it does society. Yet if you think about it, the lone figure (the brave adventurer, the lonely detective, the hardy cowhand) is really an equally romantic figure, maybe even more so.
posted by Puppetry for Privacy at 3:56 AM on November 30, 2011 [39 favorites]

Singing loudly - whatever songs I liked - at any hour at home.

Reading late into the night.

Messy or clean as I chose. Nobody to complain if I threw stuff on the couch. And nobody to turn my sparkling kitchen into a disaster.

The scissors were always where I kept them. The cupboards were organized. The lights were turned off in rooms that were empty.

Going hiking or canoeing or snowshoeing with whomever I pleased whenever I had leisure time.

Going dancing without either dragging someone out who didn't want to go, or worrying that she would resent my going without her.

Endless, imminent possibilities for wild sexual encounters. (They never happened, but hey, they COULD have!)

Note: I'm not complaining. Overall I'm a happier person now, but I won't pretend that I don't miss some aspects of the old bachelor days.
posted by wjm at 4:18 AM on November 30, 2011

I can feel diminished very easily by coupledom. I'm very introverted and I need time to just commune with myself, with the environment around me. Uninterrupted time to just ride the rhythms of my own senses. Being around someone all the time - especially if I love them very much! - is like living with a de-tuner - I'm hyper-aware of SO's goings on, but it jams my own frequencies and I can't hear myself think. Over long periods of time this is physically and mentally exhausting.

On a more practical level I like being able to direct my own resources when single. The saving thing mentioned above is true - it's so much harder when financial activities are jointly determined.
posted by freya_lamb at 4:29 AM on November 30, 2011 [12 favorites]

Well, it's not just coupled/non-coupled; it's about the quality of a relationship, too. I mean, other than hook up with random people and take over the whole bed, I have done pretty much anything on your list despite being in a committed relationship. Having a relationship shouldn't prevent you from traveling (solo or together), flirting, having all kinds of friends, etc; if that's your experience of a relationship, I can see why being single is super exciting.

If you're coupled, what do you miss about being single?

The big thing (for those of us not in an open relationship) is being able to go from flirting to more. Flirting is a great part of being alive, but it's not the same as that amazing sequence from flirting to "accidental" touching to kissing. And even though my experience is that long-term sex is way hotter than casual sex, I definitely miss the variety and surprises of being with new people.

Although there's a lot of security in being in a relationship (as in, if I get fired from my job, I don't need to be worried about how to feed myself or where I will live), there's also the need to discuss and negotiate everything as a couple, which is both good and bad. There are definitely times when the simplicity of not having to discuss things would be nice.

One thing that gets a bit old is how, if you are in a relationship, many people see you not as "Bob" or "Stacy," but as "BobandStacy." There's some kind of weird couple identity that you take on, like it or not, in many people's minds; it doesn't directly impact anything but I've always found it irritating. When you are single, people default to treating you as an individual, which I prefer.
posted by Forktine at 5:19 AM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]

Go golfing
Go fishing
posted by caddis at 5:20 AM on November 30, 2011

The benefits of being single are mostly about control. You're the one at the wheel and you get to do exactly as you wish.

Getting to spend and save exactly as I please is a big thing. There's no one spending money on yet another video game or on cable, or criticizing me because I'm making myself another new dress or buying another new necklace. Theoretically having two incomes while only paying for one roof would make one better off, and it usually does, but I also know plenty of couples who are less well off than me despite making more than twice as much because one or both of them is terrible with money.

Control over your own space. I get my closets and bathroom cabinets to myself. I get an entire attic workroom in which to work on my own projects. I get my bed to myself (except for the spot my cat has staked out, that is). I get to decorate my house exactly as I want to. There's no one insisting that we have to have ugly and expensive leather couches or a big ass TV. I can be as neat or messy as I please. I can eat popcorn for dinner, or skip dinner entirely. I don't have to cater to anyone else's tastes or food allergies. I can listen to whatever crappy music I want to as many times as I want to without anyone criticizing or ridiculing it. I don't have to watch some testosterone-driven shoot 'em and smash 'em up movie that I won't like.

Free time. I don't have to go to anyone else's boring work events or spend time with irritating inlaws. I don't have to listen to anyone griping because he has to go to my boring work events or spend time with my family. I don't have to play dutiful wife/girlfriend and go watch him play soccer or listen to his lowly bar band play for the thousandth time or spend time with friends I don't really like.

And lack of worry. I don't have to worry that someone's cheating on me, that he has gotten tired of me, that I'm going to come home and find him in bed with one of my friends or the plumber, that he's going to come home and tell me sorry, it's just not working for him anymore, that he'll get killed in a car accident or become ill and die, that the whole life that I built with him is going to suddenly be shattered by some turn of events.
posted by orange swan at 5:38 AM on November 30, 2011 [10 favorites]

Sloth. If there's a day when the only thing you want to do all day is lay around reading trashy magazines and watching Law And Order reruns and eating junk food, no one else will know, and can't make you feel guilty about it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:39 AM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Yeah. Also, coupled with that, you don't need to tidy your dwelling unless you want to, same with personal grooming. Why shave when no one will see it anyway? [I guess this will be more relevant for women]
posted by ClarissaWAM at 6:18 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not having to have to clean up after someone else!

Things stay where I left it.

My favorite food item is in the fridge/cabinet when I go to eat it.

I can open all of the windows anytime I want.

I can practice my OCD behaviour and come back to a nice clean place!

Have only one set of family annoyances.

To have complete peace and quiet.
posted by Yellow at 6:27 AM on November 30, 2011

Christmas (or whatever) and Thanksgiving. I only have to worry about one. And my ex's parents were divorced and remarried, so I'm down to one third of the holiday events. I don't have to worry about where I am for xmas eve vs. morning vs. night. I don't have to hurry away to get to the next event.

Only half (in my case, 1/3) the gifts need to be figured out and purchased.

There's never a bad mood waiting for me at home.
posted by bonecrusher at 6:38 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Whatever. I. Want.

Whenever. I. Want.

I have obligations, but I don't have to coordinate those obligations to and with another person and that person's obligations.

Of course, the sex isn't as good because half the time I know what I'm going to do next. Them's the tradeoffs.
posted by tel3path at 6:57 AM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]

Watching whatever I want to watch, at whatever hour, wherever I want. this is really the only thing I miss. My husband will put in earplugs if I want to watch TV at 3 am, but I usually go into another room to play games or watch TV.

All the stuff you listed - I do that. Maybe I don't know how to be married. If we don't have plans, am I supposed to check in?

Being single was awesome. It surprises me (and my nosy friends) that being married has not made me crazy.

For women, especially, being alone and on your own are critical. There's so much gender pressure to be this and that and it's just so wrong for so many of us.

Enjoy you own private life!
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:58 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Working out and dieting and taking great care of my body. Once I was partnered I never wanted to be at the gym anymore, and it shows.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:00 AM on November 30, 2011

Sloth, yes - for me, lazing about on the couch in complete silence apart from the purring of my two furballs. And occasionally, watching them enjoy their WOO-EE THE APARTMENT IS A RACETRACK periods.

Being able to organize things as I like.

Learning to depend on myself – I too do most of the DIY in my place, including when my toilet's macerator "exploded". I can hardly express the simple delight of figuring out what was wrong with it by myself (turns out it was just a pipe closure that had loosened to where it burst open when the macerator ran). That and getting a broken key out of my front door lock. But my absolute favorite DIY, that I probably wouldn't have wanted to put a significant other through, was pulling up the cheap tile that previous owners had laid on top of my apartment's original hexagonal terracotta tomette tiles. Tomettes are my favorite type of floor EVAR, but it took months of banging, dust, furniture finagling, scraping and cleaning to finally get it looking good. Hiring someone would have gone much more quickly, but wouldn't have meant the pleasure of looking at it and knowing I worked on every single one of those tiles with my own two hands. (That said, one of my hopes is to find someone who loves my DIY-ing and who would be happy to participate or happy to let me do that sort of thing.)

Being able to make major life changes, yes. Did my Masters degree while working full time last year – and did have a significant other, in fact, but it was long-distance, and ended up not working out. (Found out my boyfriend was so cool with my lack of time because he already had other girlfriends on the side. Hrm.) Now I'm looking at a job change and probable relocation.

Being able to go mountain biking when and where I want, on the trails I want. Not just a couples thing – I like to ride alone so I can do my own thing.

I liked travelling with significant others; you experience things through another person's viewpoint in addition to your own. I do like the fun of travel alone as well; it has a different flavor to it.
posted by fraula at 7:03 AM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]

My friend and I got married the same year, several months apart. The day before her wedding she asked me about being married, and what had changed about my life. I told her "When I was single, I was always right." And it was true. When to spend, when to save, to be tidy or messy, how to decorate, all of it. Whatever I decided was right. Now, I'm only right sometimes.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:23 AM on November 30, 2011 [4 favorites]

Sleep. Sweet, uninterrupted, whole-bed-hogging, starting early, ending late, reading in the middle, flailing and groaning, napping when you want to, sleep. In itself and as a proxy for getting to focus entirely on your own wants, needs, desires, whims, tastes, and fancies.
posted by ldthomps at 7:25 AM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]

I spent a lot of time single and I now live with my partner. The things I miss are plentiful.
1. Never shutting the bathroom door. Peeing and pooping with the door open makes me happy. Can't explain why. I think this is the biggest thing I miss.
2. knowing the mess around the house is MY mess and not someone elses.
3. being able to save tasty things for later and not having to worry about it getting eaten.
4. sleeping in the middle of the bed
5. being able to keep what would otherwise be unreasonable hours (going to the gym at 5am, being in bed by 9pm)
6. having weekend long marathons of Supernatural/LOST/Dawson's Creek or whatever show I feel like.
7. farting loud stinky farts whenever I feel like and giggling about it
8. my cat (he is extremely allergic and I had to find her a new home when I moved in)
9. being able to invite my best female friend up for a girly weekend with gross food and horror movies.
10. sleeping naked (this only applies half the time, namely when we have custody of his son which we share with his ex wife)
11. putting something someplace and knowing it won't be "tidied up" and put somewhere else
12. using my kitchen table for general storage. I use to put my purse, jacket, mail, WHATEVER on it and I never used it for eating. Yeah, that didn't fly...
13. not getting weird looks if I decide I want to eat an enormous plate of JUST brussel sprouts (or whatever random food) for supper
14. My body pillow in the bed. Sure, now I just snuggle in to him at night which has its benefits (surprise 3am sex! woo!) but he isn't as sqashy as that pillow was. Plus, I don't have to worry about kneeing the body pillow in the man junk in the middle of the night as I toss in my sleep...
15. going out to bars and flirting back when men flirt with me. I don't think my partner would really mind all that much so long as it was innocent but I don't like leading people on when I am very taken.
posted by gwenlister at 7:43 AM on November 30, 2011 [2 favorites]

House nekkid time.
posted by Capt. Renault at 8:58 AM on November 30, 2011

Probably repeating some points that have already been brought up to some degree but:

The ability to make major life decisions without consultation/negotiation: When I was in my early 20s I was offered a job promotion/transfer (to a different part of the state, about 7 hours away from where I lived) that I was able to accept more or less on a whim, while if a similar opportunity were to arise today it would require a major discussion since it would be effecting more than my life.

The ability to indulge in weird hobbies/interests: This probably sounds weird, but I have such fond memories of being single and doing something like taking a day by myself to go to the Museum of TV and Radio in LA, followed up with a lunch at my favorite deli across the street. Not that such a day would be impossible now, but generally when you're coupled leisure time is more of a compromise as opposed to something that fits only one member's particular (and somewhat peculiar) interests

This one is probably more specific to being married and sharing a bank account, but being able to spend selfishly on oneself without feeling guilty is definitely something I miss. When I was single I would spend great amounts of money on the nicest clothes for myself, spent a boatload on the latest workout supplements to make sure I was getting the most out of my exercise program, would drop hundreds of dollars on the bars in a night all without feeling an ounce of guilt, while today I tend to feel guilty even buying new pairs of socks.

Getting to decide how social or not I want to be at any particular time (going to a party when I'd prefer to lounge in front of the TV or vice versa).

I miss the wild nights at the bars with just my guy friends. This is something that still happens once in a while, but I do miss the excitement of the weekend approaching knowing that all sorts of crazy adventures were likely in store, which just isn't feasible (or, in my opinion, healthy) to do on a weekly basis when you're part of a couple. (This might be due as much to getting older too since I'm reaching the age where such activities might look a little pathetic, single or not).

This one is somewhat specific to me, as I'm in a mixed marriage (I'm Jewish, wife isn't): In the past, the Christmas season was great for me as I got a free day off of work without the associated stress of spending a day atop a rickety ladder hanging lights, buying and decorating a Christmas tree, dealing with Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals, family drama, etc., while today I'm knee deep in all that stuff.
posted by The Gooch at 9:14 AM on November 30, 2011

When I'm in a relationship, I feel muffled. When I'm single, I feel stronger, more capable, and more of a risk-taker. My lows are lower but my highs are higher. I'm playing without a net and love it.

Things I've done while single: restore an old house, design a new one, ramp up my business, travel to several continents, and move to another country.

When I look back over the last few decades, the periods that I spent in relationships are flat, beige stretches on the timeline. The single periods are spiky with vivid colors.
posted by ceiba at 10:41 AM on November 30, 2011 [22 favorites]

Basically, doing whatever the hell I like, when I like.

Drinking to excess and being an ass without pissing anyone off.

Farting with impunity.

Talking to myself like a complete loon.

Not worrying about whether I'm tidying enough, cleaning enough or leaving the washing up longer than is decent.

Stinking the place up with a fine Cuban cigar without having to think about someone else's nostrils or lungs.

Ease and freedom of masturbation.

Lack of interpersonal tension.

Being able to play my nasty noise music without upsetting anyone (except, possibly, the neighbours)

Being able to play my guitars without etc.

Being able to eat whatever nasty, nasty food I feel like without getting a look of disapproval.

The list is endless. It's the freedom to be absolutely selfish without guilt.

On the downside, there's the sense of being hopeless, unloved and unwanted, but I've always found that good wine and whisky makes pretty short work of that self-pitying nonsense.
posted by Decani at 11:22 AM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]

You can change your mind on a dime, and you don't have to answer for it. You don't need to be consistent AT ALL. For me this is the ultimate freedom. It's so freakin' wonderful.
posted by bluefly at 11:24 AM on November 30, 2011

I really miss
  • making my own hours and deciding on my own what to do
  • cooking just for myself
  • allowing my place to get as messy as I'm comfortable with
If you have successfully braved the heavy weight of loneliness, then being single can be pretty awesome. As a contrast, my #1 favorite thing about not being single is not giving a crap about what anyone of the attractive gender thinks about me. If you can achieve that while single, you have it made.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:27 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not having to wait for someone. Whenever two or more people go somewhere or do something together, someone has to wait. On my own, no waiting for someone to be ready to leave the house, be ready to order at a restaurant, be ready to leave the museum, etc.

More spontaneous or last-minute decisions. Agree with the enjoyment expressed previously with doing what I want, when I want.

Not having to live up to someone else's standards. Right now the yard is a mess - leaves all over the place. I will get to it at some point, but no one is going to ask me "so hey, weren't you going to rake today?" Yes I was, until I spent the day online instead. (Will admit, the downside of that is that no one else is going to surprise me by doing the chore before I get home from work.)

Keeping weird sleep schedules. I can fall asleep on the couch and finally stagger off to bed at 3 am if I like. The cats don't care where we sleep.

Cooking or not, whatever and whenever. Start mixing the complicated layer cake at 9 pm? No problem! Don't feel like making dinner and just graze through the kitchen instead? No problem!
posted by dorey_oh at 11:33 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Working out / training for a serious athletic event like a triathlon or marathon.
posted by peep at 11:36 AM on November 30, 2011

Look at Kipnis, Against Love See pp. 82-94 on what you can't do in the "domestic gulag".
posted by lathrop at 11:59 AM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sunday mornings. Getting up late, taking a book, newspapers, magazines to a very nice brunch place, ordering a table for 2 (the first lie of the day), spreading out, ordering a huge breakfast and a bottle of white wine promising myself I will only drink half of it (the second lie). Then home for a laze out. And no one minds.
posted by fatmouse at 3:26 PM on November 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Take the long way home. More generally: at the end of the workday, think about what you would most like to do at that moment. Go to a movie? eat out? have an ice cream in the park? No need to rush home, or get anyone's permission, or account for your time. Delicious.

Control the remote, the volume and the thermostat.

Dress to please only yourself. Same with washing and grooming.

Keep your home perfectly clean at all times, because you get to define "perfect."

Do things at your own pace -- you don't have to rush to avoid someone's angry glare, or glare at someone who's always dawdling. Like with cleaning, your way is perfect.

Talk out loud to the pets, the plants, or the voices.

If you're in pain, you can moan or cry or kvetch or punch the wall without worrying about the effect it will have on anyone else. You can express your feelings moment to moment without needing to constantly monitor and modulate their impact. When you're with someone, everything you do is communicating something; that's an exhausting burden. Sulking is very, very boring when there's no audience.

Accept your own experiences as sufficient, without needing them to be observed or validated by anyone else. Your life isn't a show that you're putting on for anyone else's benefit.

Learn to understand your own moods. When you're in a relationship or have other people around all the time, there's a tendency to assume that your moods and feelings are caused by those other people -- if you're happy, it's because they made you happy; if you're grouchy, it must be because of something they did; if you're feeling love, it's because you love them. I was fascinated to find that all these feelings exist for me as free-floating moods with no necessary association with other people. I can be pissy, or silly, or loving, or enraged, without having a human target or trigger for it. It's thrilling and sometimes scary to be accountable only to yourself for your mental and emotional state.
posted by Corvid at 3:46 PM on November 30, 2011 [8 favorites]

The best part about being single is the freedom to be completely unstable, and gloriously undependable.

As in, tonight I'm going to bed at 8:43pm and then wake up at the crack of dawn and go surfing, and then tomorrow night I'm going to close down this bar, and then close down a friend's house, and then stumble home at 4 and sleep in my clothes on the couch, and then crank this Miley Cyrus, and then crank this bluegrass, and then crash early so I can get up early and drive out to the desert for a ten mile death march, et cetera.

Second on the list -- climate control.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:26 PM on November 30, 2011 [3 favorites]

posted by repoman at 8:51 AM on December 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

I miss having space that's just mine. I don't have a room that I can close the door on. The bedroom has a door on it, but that's ours and I don't feel comfortable shutting him out of it.

And time to be alone. It's not that I'd do anything different with it, I'd probably just mess about on my pc like I do when I'm not alone in the house. But I miss just being alone.

Simply put: I miss the mister terribly when he's gone for a length of time (work or whatever), but having the time and space to myself is precious and I love every second of it.
posted by deborah at 12:56 AM on December 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

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