Oooo what's that smell?!
October 30, 2011 1:36 PM   Subscribe

Drug Filter: How do to keep the smell from being noticed?

We live in a town home with neighbors on either side of us and maintenance can come through any time, but never have. They usually give a month notice about coming to spray or change filters.

This has to do more with random people just knocking on your door or a neighbor coming to ask you something. We light candles, use spray, never smoke during the day. We are mostly just evening/night smokers since you know...we live in a townhome and maintenance can come by any time.

So like I said above, we do the whole nine yards when we do partake in our activities, but I feel like there could be some other cover up we aren't aware of (and I know not doing it is the best cover up, but that's not really something I feel like exploring).

So dearest community, what do you do to insure that a random knocker won't notice the smell if they happen to stop by?
posted by anonymous to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (22 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Have you considered investing in a vaporizer?
posted by Adventurer at 1:40 PM on October 30, 2011 [9 favorites]

can you smoke in a room that has a door between you and the front door? preferably with a window? that way, you can put a towel at the bottom of the door and air it out when needed. in addition to everything else you're doing.
posted by cupcake1337 at 1:41 PM on October 30, 2011

Pieces of fabric softener sheets on one end of a toilet paper/paper towel tube. Exhale through that.

But a vaporizer is also a good idea.
posted by griphus at 1:45 PM on October 30, 2011 [4 favorites]

Put a dryer sheet on a fan. That was my favorite hack. Also, a sploof. A sploof is just something like a toilet paper roll or something that you stuff dryer sheets into, and then blow the smoke through. They are a massive pain, and I never use them, personally.

Honestly though, I live in an apartment, and I've never had a problem. If you don't have a shared hallway, I don't know what the problem would be. Smoke going outside loses its smell pretty quick. And maintenance usually doesn't actually waltz in unannounced.

Since your main concern is neighbors coming by or something, then just smoke in a bedroom. And spray your clothes or rub a dryer sheet over your clothes. (Dryer sheets really are a smokers best friend.)
posted by trogdole at 1:45 PM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Edibles rather than smoking.
posted by mollymayhem at 1:48 PM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

One word: Vaporgenie
posted by jnnla at 1:48 PM on October 30, 2011

Keep in mind that you don't have to answer the door. There are many reasons why people who are home might not come to the door; just ignoring it should be unremarkable in any non-emergency situation.
posted by vorfeed at 1:53 PM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I was fifteen, I used to stand on the toilet and exhale towards the exhaust fan.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:04 PM on October 30, 2011

Open window and fan blowing toward it. A lot of the smell should go out it. That plus burning incense should be pretty effective.
posted by J. Wilson at 2:05 PM on October 30, 2011

maintenance can come through any time, but never have.

Worth keeping in mind that unless there is something extraordinary going on, maintenance isn't going to be working nights. You don't have to open the door for anyone else. I'd suggest

- having a room for smoking that's a little far from the entry
- keep the door closed
- smoke eater fan of some kind and incense with a mild scent when you are home
- don't let smoking make you paranoid
posted by jessamyn at 2:12 PM on October 30, 2011 [2 favorites]

Some of my friends swear by lighting up in the kitchen, with the oven fume hood fan on max. Which makes sense, I guess, it's the only thing in most people's houses that is specifically designed to remove smoke from the immediate environment. Plus, you're in the kitchen, which is where all the food is. Curious---do you live in a particularly marijuana-hostile environment? Where I live keeping the smell down is more of a courtesy-to-the-neighbors thing than anything else.
posted by nerdinexile at 2:28 PM on October 30, 2011

Take a 12 oz water bottle. Empty it, and throw away the cap.

Cut it in half, and throw away the bottom portion.

Take a NEW sheet of fabric softener. It must be new...the more fragrant, the more better.

Put it on the cut part, and fasten it with a rubber band.

Take a puff...and blow into the mouthpiece....

ALL you will smell is laundry.

I learned this from my 14 year old cousins 6 years ago. Necessity is the mother of invention.
posted by hal_c_on at 3:47 PM on October 30, 2011

Yes griphus yes, this is a great method used by teens, my SO called it the pooferator back in the day. Doesn't mean adult pot lovers can't benefit.
posted by boobjob at 4:06 PM on October 30, 2011

Grow a pot or planter of fragrant herb like lemon verbena by the front door.
posted by hortense at 5:06 PM on October 30, 2011

If it makes you feel better, it's all been my experience that maintenance dudes are some of the biggest potheads in the world, so if you're worried about them blowing the whistle on you, I wouldn't. I mean, don't open the door with a bong in your hand, but by and large I wouldn't worry about them too much.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 6:29 PM on October 30, 2011

I don't know for sure, but in my state (and I suspect it's true in all states), the landlord/management or their agents (including maintenance people) cannot enter your rented residence without your permission or 24 hours notice. If you just don't answer the door, there's not much they can do aside from leaving a notice and coming back the next day.

I would hope that also applies to owned townhouses under an HOA agreement, but again I'm not sure. Check your lease/agreement.

Who's to say, if you don't answer the door or you tell them to go away, that you're not naked and having a crazy (quiet) sex party? That's not illegal and I doubt it's against your lease/agreement.
posted by WasabiFlux at 6:36 PM on October 30, 2011

We had "poofers" while living in college dorms; 500-750mL plastic soda/pop/water bottle. Punch holes where the "feet" are (there should be 5 feet or so); stuff a bunch of fabric dryer sheets in there and exhale through that, out the window. Add fresh dryer sheets when it gets a bit stale. When it gets really stale, leave it in front of the RA's door.

I suppose if you had a kitchen, exhaling through that and into the kitchen exhaust fan, while running, should do the trick.

We also dropped a towel at the foot of the door to prevent smells from leaking out, but it wasn't quite enough - I ended up getting about a pound of poster-putty (the polymer stuff used to stick posters to walls) and rolled it out into a thick "noodle." Used those noodles to seal cracks at the sides and top of the door. When not in use, remove from the crack and stick to the sides of the door frame. 95% of people never notice it (the stuff I got was white-ish, the paint on the doorframe was white-ish). Re-shape when required. The cool thing about that poster putty stuff if that you can stretch it out/snap it repeated, like silly putty, to clean it when it gets gunky.
posted by porpoise at 7:12 PM on October 30, 2011

Bake brownies. You'll want to eat them anyway, and it will mask the smell.
posted by ~Sushma~ at 7:50 PM on October 30, 2011

Use a vaporizer if you can and for any modes of smoking- Nag Champa incense..I find it covers just about any smell.
posted by plumberonkarst at 10:41 PM on October 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

Nag Champa incense are the way to go. They always cover up the smell perfectly. Been doing it for years with no one being the wiser.

A vaporizer will minimize the smell, not eliminate it. Also some smokers dont eat edibles.

Nag Champa all the way. Be sure to get the real stuff in the blue or gold box with the holographic sealing the box, not the knock offs as they are not nearly as strong.
posted by handbanana at 8:04 AM on October 31, 2011

I feel better after washing my hands, especially if rolling my own. Might want to make sure that aspect's covered too; if nothing else, it might make you less concerned/paranoid about it.
posted by troywestfield at 8:41 AM on October 31, 2011

Recent story (I'm too lazy to look it up) about a pizza delivery person calling the smell of smoke to the attention to the police.
posted by Drasher at 7:05 PM on October 31, 2011

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