No discretion in the age of social media?
August 8, 2011 3:18 PM Subscribe
Complaining about family members publicly on the internet - is this the new normal?
I realize the irony in asking about this family member in a public forum, but I am genuinely at a loss. My sister-in-law has an issue about which she cares greatly - she feels that she doesn't get enough support from people who know her in real life, so she turns to the internet for a sense of community. Which I understand and with which I have no problem.
However, she has a blog and twitter account which are not remotely anonymous which contains a lot of a lot of negative comments about my sister and my mother, as well as my brother. Frankly, if my brother doesn't care that his wife publicly discusses their relationship problems, neither do I, but she said some very hurtful (and not true) things about my mom.
I think this is significantly different than privately ranting to friends or even strangers. (Key word is private.) Leaving aside my personal feelings about her and her comments, are we out of line for expecting that she keep her rants and complaints about the family private? Or on a completely anonymous blog that doesn't suggest that I follow her because the internet knows that we are connected?
After I gave my brother a heads up about the content (he previously asked me to tell him if thing "got bad" as he doesn't want to see it), she has protected her tweets and made the blog private (yay!), but not before making public comments about how her "pushy" in-laws are so unfair for "making" her do this. She says that we don't understand how online communities work and that she isn't unusual in this - but I don't think it's too much to expect a little discretion?
If it turns out that the general consensus is that we are out of line for expecting her to be more private, she still has to accept that there are consequences to her actions - ie- I don't want to be her friend if she's going to post things that make my mom cry. How do I deal with her? I completely disconnected from her on all social media, I really don't WANT to see these things, and my plan is to continue to be polite but distant to her when I see her.
I realize the irony in asking about this family member in a public forum, but I am genuinely at a loss. My sister-in-law has an issue about which she cares greatly - she feels that she doesn't get enough support from people who know her in real life, so she turns to the internet for a sense of community. Which I understand and with which I have no problem.
However, she has a blog and twitter account which are not remotely anonymous which contains a lot of a lot of negative comments about my sister and my mother, as well as my brother. Frankly, if my brother doesn't care that his wife publicly discusses their relationship problems, neither do I, but she said some very hurtful (and not true) things about my mom.
I think this is significantly different than privately ranting to friends or even strangers. (Key word is private.) Leaving aside my personal feelings about her and her comments, are we out of line for expecting that she keep her rants and complaints about the family private? Or on a completely anonymous blog that doesn't suggest that I follow her because the internet knows that we are connected?
After I gave my brother a heads up about the content (he previously asked me to tell him if thing "got bad" as he doesn't want to see it), she has protected her tweets and made the blog private (yay!), but not before making public comments about how her "pushy" in-laws are so unfair for "making" her do this. She says that we don't understand how online communities work and that she isn't unusual in this - but I don't think it's too much to expect a little discretion?
If it turns out that the general consensus is that we are out of line for expecting her to be more private, she still has to accept that there are consequences to her actions - ie- I don't want to be her friend if she's going to post things that make my mom cry. How do I deal with her? I completely disconnected from her on all social media, I really don't WANT to see these things, and my plan is to continue to be polite but distant to her when I see her.
I definitely consider her actions to be inappropriate. I can't offer much in the way of advice however. Best of luck sorting his situation out, I hope it all ends more-or-less amicably.
posted by Homo economicus at 3:23 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Homo economicus at 3:23 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
You're right, she is wrong. Almost nobody understands how online communities really work, right? Also, she won't want to have that sort of nonsense being visible for everyone for an eternity either. Just seems to mis-calculate the consequences.
posted by Namlit at 3:25 PM on August 8, 2011
posted by Namlit at 3:25 PM on August 8, 2011
It sounds like this is old-fashioned passive-aggression in a new venue. She clearly knows that the things she says in these places get back to the people she's saying them about; likewise it appears that she either doesn't care or actively wants that to happen. I suppose it's possible that she's really just clueless (is she under 25?) but I think that's not really the most likely scenario.
posted by restless_nomad at 3:27 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by restless_nomad at 3:27 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
She says that we don't understand how online communities work and that she isn't unusual in this - but I don't think it's too much to expect a little discretion?
In a way, you're both right. There isn't a firmly established school of etiquette about this and there ertainly a lot of people who behave like your s-i-l does but that doesn't mean it's not boorish, just that it's common. Openly complaining about people is rude no matter if you're doing it in the newspaper's letters column or on facebook. Rude is still rude.
Different people have different tolerance levels for this sort of thing and people have to tease that sort of thing out over time. If your mom is crying over what your s-i-l says, it's probably in your mom's best interests to stop reading it, write off your s-i-l, and move on and interact with people who share her values and views. This is not a debate she's likely to win, I'd just take the high road and tell her she's being hurtful to her family, that's her right but it will have consequences.
posted by jessamyn at 3:30 PM on August 8, 2011 [11 favorites]
In a way, you're both right. There isn't a firmly established school of etiquette about this and there ertainly a lot of people who behave like your s-i-l does but that doesn't mean it's not boorish, just that it's common. Openly complaining about people is rude no matter if you're doing it in the newspaper's letters column or on facebook. Rude is still rude.
Different people have different tolerance levels for this sort of thing and people have to tease that sort of thing out over time. If your mom is crying over what your s-i-l says, it's probably in your mom's best interests to stop reading it, write off your s-i-l, and move on and interact with people who share her values and views. This is not a debate she's likely to win, I'd just take the high road and tell her she's being hurtful to her family, that's her right but it will have consequences.
posted by jessamyn at 3:30 PM on August 8, 2011 [11 favorites]
Oh, man, when I was 17, I did this all the time. I was also incredibly bad at making decisions when I was 17. Good thing I grew up.
Your SIL is being a) rude and b) stupid. Alas, we don't generally get to force other adults to stop being rude and stupid. We can, however, engage in all manner of "we don't accept that kind of behavior in our presence, nor do we reward it in any way" countermeasures. She certainly wouldn't be on my Christmas card list. Well, okay, maybe yes to the Christmas card, but no to the heartfelt greeting written inside.
(and your mom can defend herself.)
posted by SMPA at 3:55 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
Your SIL is being a) rude and b) stupid. Alas, we don't generally get to force other adults to stop being rude and stupid. We can, however, engage in all manner of "we don't accept that kind of behavior in our presence, nor do we reward it in any way" countermeasures. She certainly wouldn't be on my Christmas card list. Well, okay, maybe yes to the Christmas card, but no to the heartfelt greeting written inside.
(and your mom can defend herself.)
posted by SMPA at 3:55 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
How do I deal with her?
By dealing with your brother instead. He put you in a really awkward position by encouraging/expecting you to monitor his wife's blogging and tweeting. It seems like his m.o. is to avoid conflict with his wife by ignoring her bad behavior and then blaming his family for expecting her to be decent. Be aware of this habit. Call him on it. Ignore your sister-in-law's online activities. Don't read what she writes, don't discuss her writing with your mom or your brother. Only react to and address her behavior directly towards you. Your plan to be polite but distant is a good one.
posted by Meg_Murry at 3:58 PM on August 8, 2011 [7 favorites]
By dealing with your brother instead. He put you in a really awkward position by encouraging/expecting you to monitor his wife's blogging and tweeting. It seems like his m.o. is to avoid conflict with his wife by ignoring her bad behavior and then blaming his family for expecting her to be decent. Be aware of this habit. Call him on it. Ignore your sister-in-law's online activities. Don't read what she writes, don't discuss her writing with your mom or your brother. Only react to and address her behavior directly towards you. Your plan to be polite but distant is a good one.
posted by Meg_Murry at 3:58 PM on August 8, 2011 [7 favorites]
Not only is it rude and tasteless, it's rude and tasteless FOREVER.
She is doing it because she wants to fall out with you, so why not - for a change - reward her bad behaviour by giving her what she wants. Echoing Meg_Murry, be polite but distant.
posted by tel3path at 4:17 PM on August 8, 2011
She is doing it because she wants to fall out with you, so why not - for a change - reward her bad behaviour by giving her what she wants. Echoing Meg_Murry, be polite but distant.
posted by tel3path at 4:17 PM on August 8, 2011
Wow, she's being a brat. Clearly she wants to pick some fights or is dumber than a box of hair. I suspect both, but especially the first one.
Seriously, if your family knows where your blog is, DON'T DO THAT SHIT.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:28 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
Seriously, if your family knows where your blog is, DON'T DO THAT SHIT.
posted by jenfullmoon at 4:28 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
Let me offer a different side of the issue. I have, here and elsewhere, talked about my family, occasionally at length. I am on cordial terms with my family, but I don't feel awesome about them for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I talk about those reasons. I know that my family is aware of at least a couple of places where I do so, although I do not have reason to believe that they read what I have to say.
So I can sympathize with your sister-in-law and her wanting to say what it is that she wants to say but feels like the family prevents her from doing so. That isn't to justify her complaints or screeds (or mine, by extension), but it is to say that I get why she would use the internet for this purpose.
None of that absolves her from the consequences of her actions, of course. If she's posting hurtful things on the internet about someone and that someone sees it, she has to deal with what comes from that. If she's posting those hurtful things specifically because she knows that person will see it, but she wants to insulate herself under the guise of "this is my world, not yours", that sucks and is really manipulative, but isn't any different except with a little added jerkishness.
My family didn't offer me a lot of support during some difficult periods and in fact made things worse by requiring me to stay quiet about them. If they now came to me and said that they wanted me to "keep it in the family", I would tell them to fuck off in a variably-polite way. I wouldn't expect that that would end with us kissing and making up or me being invited home for the holidays.
So: is she within her rights to speak her mind online? Yeah, I think so. Are you within your rights to hate it and to ask her to stop? Sure. Does she have to do that? No. Do you then still have to be friends with her? That's up to you, but I'd say no. If she doesn't want to be treated like part of the family, she doesn't have to be. If she does, she probably has to play by the family rules. That's sort of how these things end up working. It'd be nice if there were more flexibility there, but there usually isn't, so she's going to end up having to pick which one matters more to her, and so are you.
posted by Errant at 5:19 PM on August 8, 2011 [5 favorites]
So I can sympathize with your sister-in-law and her wanting to say what it is that she wants to say but feels like the family prevents her from doing so. That isn't to justify her complaints or screeds (or mine, by extension), but it is to say that I get why she would use the internet for this purpose.
None of that absolves her from the consequences of her actions, of course. If she's posting hurtful things on the internet about someone and that someone sees it, she has to deal with what comes from that. If she's posting those hurtful things specifically because she knows that person will see it, but she wants to insulate herself under the guise of "this is my world, not yours", that sucks and is really manipulative, but isn't any different except with a little added jerkishness.
My family didn't offer me a lot of support during some difficult periods and in fact made things worse by requiring me to stay quiet about them. If they now came to me and said that they wanted me to "keep it in the family", I would tell them to fuck off in a variably-polite way. I wouldn't expect that that would end with us kissing and making up or me being invited home for the holidays.
So: is she within her rights to speak her mind online? Yeah, I think so. Are you within your rights to hate it and to ask her to stop? Sure. Does she have to do that? No. Do you then still have to be friends with her? That's up to you, but I'd say no. If she doesn't want to be treated like part of the family, she doesn't have to be. If she does, she probably has to play by the family rules. That's sort of how these things end up working. It'd be nice if there were more flexibility there, but there usually isn't, so she's going to end up having to pick which one matters more to her, and so are you.
posted by Errant at 5:19 PM on August 8, 2011 [5 favorites]
I have to look at her side, she needs support on shit she is going through, she posts about it. You read it and get pissed.
You know what? You don't have to read what she writes. Close the window and walk away. Why should she not be allowed to discuss her life, how she wishes? If you are following her around online and telling her she needs to stop posting, you are being a pushy in-law.
posted by SuzySmith at 5:29 PM on August 8, 2011
You know what? You don't have to read what she writes. Close the window and walk away. Why should she not be allowed to discuss her life, how she wishes? If you are following her around online and telling her she needs to stop posting, you are being a pushy in-law.
posted by SuzySmith at 5:29 PM on August 8, 2011
I used to rant on FB about my Mom and sister... and only found out when fighting with my sister that some of my cousins have been telling her what I say.
One of my cousins finally bitched at me for doing so, but she was a total asshole about it. If it bothered her, why not freaking say something to me! Granted, this cousin's assholeness comes from losing her Mom to cancer a few years ago. (My late Aunt was awesome. A total Molly Weasley.)
So now I do my kvetching on my private Twitter account.
posted by luckynerd at 5:32 PM on August 8, 2011
One of my cousins finally bitched at me for doing so, but she was a total asshole about it. If it bothered her, why not freaking say something to me! Granted, this cousin's assholeness comes from losing her Mom to cancer a few years ago. (My late Aunt was awesome. A total Molly Weasley.)
So now I do my kvetching on my private Twitter account.
posted by luckynerd at 5:32 PM on August 8, 2011
It depends on what you're willing to tolerate, and your personal paradigms.
Remember, you shouldn't make decisions in life based on what "the norm" is, but rather use whatever standards there are simply as a benchmark (I guess this is obvious, but it sounds like you're asking what's right and what's wrong, and in this case that's for you to decide).
If I were in your position, I might go batshit on this girl. However, there is good in everybody (I'm pretty sure about this). Unless she's pure evil I think you can forgive her and try to work it out.
Don't ignore it, because family is very, very important and she's part yours.
posted by jykmf at 5:45 PM on August 8, 2011
Remember, you shouldn't make decisions in life based on what "the norm" is, but rather use whatever standards there are simply as a benchmark (I guess this is obvious, but it sounds like you're asking what's right and what's wrong, and in this case that's for you to decide).
If I were in your position, I might go batshit on this girl. However, there is good in everybody (I'm pretty sure about this). Unless she's pure evil I think you can forgive her and try to work it out.
Don't ignore it, because family is very, very important and she's part yours.
posted by jykmf at 5:45 PM on August 8, 2011
You know what? You don't have to read what she writes. Close the window and walk away. Why should she not be allowed to discuss her life, how she wishes?
If the s-i-l were standing outside with a bullhorn spilling family matters into the ether that would be something the OP might consider inappropriate. Posting family stuff to the internet non-anonymously is pretty much the same thing. Airing dirty laundry is airing dirty laundry whether you're gossiping with friends around a coffee table or posting about it on Facebook. Except doing it on the internet is worse because anyone can read it.
I'd consider it completely inappropriate and grounds for terminating all contact, sister in law or not.
posted by Justinian at 6:36 PM on August 8, 2011 [3 favorites]
If the s-i-l were standing outside with a bullhorn spilling family matters into the ether that would be something the OP might consider inappropriate. Posting family stuff to the internet non-anonymously is pretty much the same thing. Airing dirty laundry is airing dirty laundry whether you're gossiping with friends around a coffee table or posting about it on Facebook. Except doing it on the internet is worse because anyone can read it.
I'd consider it completely inappropriate and grounds for terminating all contact, sister in law or not.
posted by Justinian at 6:36 PM on August 8, 2011 [3 favorites]
Something to bear in mind that might offer some small comfort... just because she's posting it on the internet doesn't mean people are reading it or ever will read it.
posted by MegoSteve at 6:52 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by MegoSteve at 6:52 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
If she just wanted to rant & talk to people about what's going on in her life, there's LOTS of ways to do it anonymously and/or limit the audience, even within social networking sites. She's being deliberately provocative.
Remember the old adage don't wrestle with a pig? You both get muddy & the pig enjoys it.
posted by Ys at 7:22 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
Remember the old adage don't wrestle with a pig? You both get muddy & the pig enjoys it.
posted by Ys at 7:22 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
My mother, and eventually I, cut off all contact with my aunt (my father's sister) for equally boorish behavior, albeit off-internet. Eventually my mother reconnected with her after my father got very ill, but she still intentionally and deliberately limits contact to specific communications about my father (who has since passed.) My sister tells me that my aunt blames our lack of connection on something completely fabricated, but my family knows the truth and so do I, so I don't sweat it.
However, if she was online and posting that fabrication, with our real names, I would damn well raise holy hell until she made it private, because it happens to be a lie that -- if true -- would make me look terrible in the eyes of a potential employer that might find it (my familial name is extremely unique) and so that would have real impact on my life. And, frankly, I wouldn't give a hoot if she was annoyed by it or not.
As for your SIL, yeah, this is a mess your brother needs to clean up. He needs to become the liason between her and your family, because if he doesn't take care of it, the rest of the family is (at best) going to consider her a joke instead of a family member, or (at worst) cut her and him off from the family. That he didn't step up and you did speaks volumes about both of you -- and that some people are giving you heat for it is just a sign that you took care of business despite there being negative consequences. In short, you're strong, you're right, and you just need to prepare a brief articulation of why you did it -- something light and easy and that lets you answer questions about it quickly and move on -- so that you can ease through it when other family members bring it up.
The high road, it is yours for the taking. Let your brother and your SIL wallow.
posted by davejay at 7:44 PM on August 8, 2011
However, if she was online and posting that fabrication, with our real names, I would damn well raise holy hell until she made it private, because it happens to be a lie that -- if true -- would make me look terrible in the eyes of a potential employer that might find it (my familial name is extremely unique) and so that would have real impact on my life. And, frankly, I wouldn't give a hoot if she was annoyed by it or not.
As for your SIL, yeah, this is a mess your brother needs to clean up. He needs to become the liason between her and your family, because if he doesn't take care of it, the rest of the family is (at best) going to consider her a joke instead of a family member, or (at worst) cut her and him off from the family. That he didn't step up and you did speaks volumes about both of you -- and that some people are giving you heat for it is just a sign that you took care of business despite there being negative consequences. In short, you're strong, you're right, and you just need to prepare a brief articulation of why you did it -- something light and easy and that lets you answer questions about it quickly and move on -- so that you can ease through it when other family members bring it up.
The high road, it is yours for the taking. Let your brother and your SIL wallow.
posted by davejay at 7:44 PM on August 8, 2011
You know what? You don't have to read what she writes. Close the window and walk away. Why should she not be allowed to discuss her life, how she wishes? If you are following her around online and telling her she needs to stop posting, you are being a pushy in-law.
I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. From what the OP says, it is easy to identify the family members she writes about, because the blogs/tweets/posts/whatever are clearly linked to the SIL's real life identity. Also from what the OP says, she is making untrue statements about the OP's mother. Spreading untrue and potentially damaging information like that is not only in poor form on the SIL's part, but ACTUALLY ILLEGAL in many contexts because it can have very negative real life consequences for the slandered person.
If the in-laws written about need to maintain their public images in a certain way due to career or similiar concerns (and many, if not most, people feel that they do), they should absolutely keep abreast of what she is writing.
If the SIL's posts were anonymous or at least slightly hard to identify, that would be another matter entirely.
OP, I agree with others who said be polite, but distant, but I would say read her blogs as infrequently as you can while still maintaining some idea of what is being said about you on the internet.
posted by wansac at 7:58 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
I couldn't disagree more with this sentiment. From what the OP says, it is easy to identify the family members she writes about, because the blogs/tweets/posts/whatever are clearly linked to the SIL's real life identity. Also from what the OP says, she is making untrue statements about the OP's mother. Spreading untrue and potentially damaging information like that is not only in poor form on the SIL's part, but ACTUALLY ILLEGAL in many contexts because it can have very negative real life consequences for the slandered person.
If the in-laws written about need to maintain their public images in a certain way due to career or similiar concerns (and many, if not most, people feel that they do), they should absolutely keep abreast of what she is writing.
If the SIL's posts were anonymous or at least slightly hard to identify, that would be another matter entirely.
OP, I agree with others who said be polite, but distant, but I would say read her blogs as infrequently as you can while still maintaining some idea of what is being said about you on the internet.
posted by wansac at 7:58 PM on August 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
I have been the sister in a situation very similar to this. I chose to vent semi-publically on Ravelry, and it exploded in my face. It ended with my SO and I not speaking to my SO's parents for over a year. That entire situation is only just now starting to be resolved, with extensive therapy - for ALL of us- coming down the pipe.
Frankly, the ONLY thing you can do and not have hurt feelings is to let it go. It's entirely possible she is just venting to blow off steam and not hurt anyone- I said things along the lines of 'I want to punch my in-laws in the teeth and shit in the wounds, I'm so miserable and upset with how they're treating me and my boyfriend!' I wanted nothing more than 'man, that sucks' responses and some general friendly support- a virtual bar, so to speak.
I proceeded to get nothing but shit from both the admins of the board I posted on, fellow members, and to top it all off? A family "friend" ended up reporting on a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. My FIL proceeded to lie about this person's identity, and continued stalking me on Ravelry and god knows where else.
No matter HOW you want to approach this, leaving it alone is pretty much the ONLY WAY to not have it explode in your face. Back up, back out and leave it alone- she has every right to vent how and where she wants.
If you MUST talk about it, consider reading Toxic Parents and applying some of the theories to dealing with your sister, or speak with a mental health professional.
posted by Hwin at 8:04 PM on August 8, 2011
Frankly, the ONLY thing you can do and not have hurt feelings is to let it go. It's entirely possible she is just venting to blow off steam and not hurt anyone- I said things along the lines of 'I want to punch my in-laws in the teeth and shit in the wounds, I'm so miserable and upset with how they're treating me and my boyfriend!' I wanted nothing more than 'man, that sucks' responses and some general friendly support- a virtual bar, so to speak.
I proceeded to get nothing but shit from both the admins of the board I posted on, fellow members, and to top it all off? A family "friend" ended up reporting on a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. My FIL proceeded to lie about this person's identity, and continued stalking me on Ravelry and god knows where else.
No matter HOW you want to approach this, leaving it alone is pretty much the ONLY WAY to not have it explode in your face. Back up, back out and leave it alone- she has every right to vent how and where she wants.
If you MUST talk about it, consider reading Toxic Parents and applying some of the theories to dealing with your sister, or speak with a mental health professional.
posted by Hwin at 8:04 PM on August 8, 2011
Your mother cries over these postings...? Hmm.
I dunno. It is hard to imagine that you, Mom, sis, and bro are totally beyond reproach. Now that the issue has been forced, another possible route would be to try to work towards fixing whatever the problems are between you guys.
Going off in a huff is better than fighting with her, but it won't solve anything.
I don't mean to suggest that she's got to be right and that you guys must all be jerks; just, well, some people are "sensitive," and it often takes very little ego-massaging to set these people on a happier course. "Joan, I want you to know that I read your blog, and... Mom feels terrible... We had no idea you were allergic to rum balls, absolutely no idea... Family is very important to me and my heart sinks when I think of how we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Let's..." A soft answer turneth away wrath, &c.
As for how acceptable what she's doing is -- of course she has very bad manners. Part of the point of etiquette is to make others comfortable... However, this reads as 'immature person acting out of hurt,' not 'sociopath acting out of malice.' If I had to guess I would guess that she is a little desperate for some sort of approval that she feels your family does not offer her, and that fixing that would be fairly easy. If you have actually been any sort of unkind, refer to "has to accept that there are consequences to her actions," accept that the internet shenanigans are it, and make amends.
On the plus side it is extremely unlikely that anybody outside your family will ever read or care about your SIL's ramblings about you.
posted by kmennie at 8:15 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
I dunno. It is hard to imagine that you, Mom, sis, and bro are totally beyond reproach. Now that the issue has been forced, another possible route would be to try to work towards fixing whatever the problems are between you guys.
Going off in a huff is better than fighting with her, but it won't solve anything.
I don't mean to suggest that she's got to be right and that you guys must all be jerks; just, well, some people are "sensitive," and it often takes very little ego-massaging to set these people on a happier course. "Joan, I want you to know that I read your blog, and... Mom feels terrible... We had no idea you were allergic to rum balls, absolutely no idea... Family is very important to me and my heart sinks when I think of how we've gotten off on the wrong foot. Let's..." A soft answer turneth away wrath, &c.
As for how acceptable what she's doing is -- of course she has very bad manners. Part of the point of etiquette is to make others comfortable... However, this reads as 'immature person acting out of hurt,' not 'sociopath acting out of malice.' If I had to guess I would guess that she is a little desperate for some sort of approval that she feels your family does not offer her, and that fixing that would be fairly easy. If you have actually been any sort of unkind, refer to "has to accept that there are consequences to her actions," accept that the internet shenanigans are it, and make amends.
On the plus side it is extremely unlikely that anybody outside your family will ever read or care about your SIL's ramblings about you.
posted by kmennie at 8:15 PM on August 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 3:23 PM on August 8, 2011 [103 favorites]