Job/career advice for my mom?
August 5, 2011 1:46 AM Subscribe
A good job for my mom?
My mom is about to have her last kid out of four move away to college, and I know she's going through a lot of anxiety and emotions as a result. To make things worse, she's been a "stay at home mom" for the last 29 years, so she doesn't quite have a career to fall back on/focus on instead.
For background - she was an engineer before she had kids, but intermittently' had jobs like sales consultant for a home decor company, middle school office administrator, and seasonal tax preparer over the last 10-15 years while I was growing up at home.
She doesn't NEED to work because my dad makes a good enough living, but I think she would benefit from having a life outside our family that is rewarding and challenging. I worry about her staying at home long after the kids have gone. We all appreciate the sacrifices she made for us to stay home; however, we want her to feel fulfilled.
Thoughts on a job/career path for my mom or advice on re-entering the market?
My mom is about to have her last kid out of four move away to college, and I know she's going through a lot of anxiety and emotions as a result. To make things worse, she's been a "stay at home mom" for the last 29 years, so she doesn't quite have a career to fall back on/focus on instead.
For background - she was an engineer before she had kids, but intermittently' had jobs like sales consultant for a home decor company, middle school office administrator, and seasonal tax preparer over the last 10-15 years while I was growing up at home.
She doesn't NEED to work because my dad makes a good enough living, but I think she would benefit from having a life outside our family that is rewarding and challenging. I worry about her staying at home long after the kids have gone. We all appreciate the sacrifices she made for us to stay home; however, we want her to feel fulfilled.
Thoughts on a job/career path for my mom or advice on re-entering the market?
If she doesn't need to make money, there are all sorts of party-sales jobs out there that women around your mom's age seem to enjoy, because it's fun and social, but you can still make money at them - Avon and Mary Kay, Tupperware are all still around, plus there's Pure Romance, which apparently does great business, if your mom and her friends have the right temperament for it. Here's a link to a bigger list of these - there are candles, jewelry, cookware - one of which might interest her.
posted by Mchelly at 3:51 AM on August 5, 2011
posted by Mchelly at 3:51 AM on August 5, 2011
If there are any local universities, I think she would be great as somebody in student services. Especially in smaller departments or schools with graduate programs, there's somebody who has the role of being the graduate students' "mom" - tracking their progress, making sure the right forms are filed, interceding with other departments or sometimes faculty members so the person can actually graduate, etc. What I've seen is that usually they get hired in an entry-level administrative assistant-type position and then get promoted from within. I know one person who is working in student services in charge of the master's students and has started working on her doctorate on higher education administration, motivated by her work.
posted by needled at 4:19 AM on August 5, 2011
posted by needled at 4:19 AM on August 5, 2011
What's your mom passionate about? What does she love? If money isn't a concern, then there are a lot of non-profits that would benefit from her time and life experience, as a Trustee or volunteer. I've known more than one woman who built an impressive (unpaid) career out of helping others.
posted by hms71 at 4:25 AM on August 5, 2011
posted by hms71 at 4:25 AM on August 5, 2011
I'm another mom of grown children. Have you asked your mom what she wants to do once her youngest is off in college? She may be looking forward to having a lot of time to herself to pursue interests she's put on hold for the last three decades. Does she have any hobbies? Is she active in any community groups?
She's already working (seasonally?) as a tax preparer and maybe that's plenty for her. If she works for someone else maybe she's interested in starting her own tax-preparing business.
posted by mareli at 4:26 AM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
She's already working (seasonally?) as a tax preparer and maybe that's plenty for her. If she works for someone else maybe she's interested in starting her own tax-preparing business.
posted by mareli at 4:26 AM on August 5, 2011 [2 favorites]
2nding hms71. Especially in the current job market, if money is not an issue she will probably get more satisfaction out of volunteering anyway. Getting back into a meaningful job will be a challenge right now.
posted by COD at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2011
posted by COD at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2011
Have you asked your mom what she wants to do? Based on the information we have here, this question strikes me as a bit presumptious. She may already have plans for her time.
posted by amro at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by amro at 4:55 AM on August 5, 2011 [5 favorites]
Maybe the OP just wants some ideas to suggest since she's been home for 29 years and might not know all that is possible.
Unfortunately, based on what you've told us, I can't think of anything much more challenging than what she's already doing without additional training. If she's still interested in engineering maybe she could update her skills and work her back into the field
posted by waterandrock at 5:21 AM on August 5, 2011
Unfortunately, based on what you've told us, I can't think of anything much more challenging than what she's already doing without additional training. If she's still interested in engineering maybe she could update her skills and work her back into the field
posted by waterandrock at 5:21 AM on August 5, 2011
I think she would benefit from having a life outside our family that is rewarding and challenging.
Raising four children is...she has had a long stint of very demanding full-time employment, and is as likely to enjoy retirement as anybody whose main career focus was outside the home. Unless she has explicitly asked for your assistance in this area, I would not attempt to "help" here; the potential for insult is quite large.
we want her to feel fulfilled
Then go off and be happy, and consider manufacturing some grandchildren.
It seems unlikely that a trained engineer who has had regular contact with the job market over the decades is really clueless here and needs hints about being an Avon lady or doing volunteer work. Of course she is aware of these options.
I realise your question is well-intentioned, but this
To make things worse, she's been a "stay at home mom" for the last 29 years, so she doesn't quite have a career to fall back on/focus on instead.
("worse"!) makes clear you do not grok the extent to which a homemaker with four children has had, and continues to have, a 'career.' Your mother is not in the ranks of the aimless and unemployed.
Emptying the nest is a big life change, but it doesn't follow she does not "feel fulfilled."
posted by kmennie at 5:32 AM on August 5, 2011 [15 favorites]
Raising four children is...she has had a long stint of very demanding full-time employment, and is as likely to enjoy retirement as anybody whose main career focus was outside the home. Unless she has explicitly asked for your assistance in this area, I would not attempt to "help" here; the potential for insult is quite large.
we want her to feel fulfilled
Then go off and be happy, and consider manufacturing some grandchildren.
It seems unlikely that a trained engineer who has had regular contact with the job market over the decades is really clueless here and needs hints about being an Avon lady or doing volunteer work. Of course she is aware of these options.
I realise your question is well-intentioned, but this
To make things worse, she's been a "stay at home mom" for the last 29 years, so she doesn't quite have a career to fall back on/focus on instead.
("worse"!) makes clear you do not grok the extent to which a homemaker with four children has had, and continues to have, a 'career.' Your mother is not in the ranks of the aimless and unemployed.
Emptying the nest is a big life change, but it doesn't follow she does not "feel fulfilled."
posted by kmennie at 5:32 AM on August 5, 2011 [15 favorites]
Oh hey. I am also an unemployed, rusty-skilled lady who works in STEM and has a grown child.
I would be horrified if someone started recommending generic things old ladies like as a way to pass my time. Avon or Tupperware parties would pretty much be my existential hell; and I guess it'd strike me as a little patronizing and weird for someone to start suggesting things I should do to keep myself busy or whatever.
I would be overjoyed, however, if someone offered me help to clear out other peoples' crap from my spare rooms and help me set up a nice workshop to tinker around in. I already have plenty of ideas of things I want to do. I could use some help making space for them is all.
If she doesn't need the income from a job, maybe she has some ideas for projects she'd like to work on for herself, things she'd like to learn, or something else she'd like to do with her time.
You should just ask her if there's anything you can do to help. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you should probably go get your stuff out of her basement. That's the closest thing I can think of to a universal thing empty nesters want.
As far as things that old ladies like or would be good at, the answers are as varied as they are with any other demographic.
posted by ernielundquist at 8:43 AM on August 5, 2011 [5 favorites]
I would be horrified if someone started recommending generic things old ladies like as a way to pass my time. Avon or Tupperware parties would pretty much be my existential hell; and I guess it'd strike me as a little patronizing and weird for someone to start suggesting things I should do to keep myself busy or whatever.
I would be overjoyed, however, if someone offered me help to clear out other peoples' crap from my spare rooms and help me set up a nice workshop to tinker around in. I already have plenty of ideas of things I want to do. I could use some help making space for them is all.
If she doesn't need the income from a job, maybe she has some ideas for projects she'd like to work on for herself, things she'd like to learn, or something else she'd like to do with her time.
You should just ask her if there's anything you can do to help. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you should probably go get your stuff out of her basement. That's the closest thing I can think of to a universal thing empty nesters want.
As far as things that old ladies like or would be good at, the answers are as varied as they are with any other demographic.
posted by ernielundquist at 8:43 AM on August 5, 2011 [5 favorites]
Another mom with a grown child here, who would also be horrified by this question. I am having a blast doing all the things I wanted to do but couldn't all those years. Hell, even *my* mother, who is 70+, is finding plenty to do since she finally retired, even though she lives in a small, isolated town.
Your mother had the intelligence and mental resources to raise you and your siblings. She undoubtedly already has interests she wants to pursue. If she's floundering for ideas, sent her to Metafilter's front page; she'll surely find something there that interests her enough to pursue it further.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:21 AM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
Your mother had the intelligence and mental resources to raise you and your siblings. She undoubtedly already has interests she wants to pursue. If she's floundering for ideas, sent her to Metafilter's front page; she'll surely find something there that interests her enough to pursue it further.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:21 AM on August 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
If she used to be an engineer, she could try Engineers Without Borders to get back into it?
My mum (who trained in IT) didn't work for about 13 years when we were kids (which I realise is quite a lot less time out of the workforce than 29 years), and she went back into various part time IT-related jobs and worked her way back into a more interesting job from there. Not straightforward, but if your mum was an engineer (and therefore of a problem-solving bent) she almost certainly won't be happy doing stuff like Avon.
It's not an unreasonable thing to want to help her with (my parents have both recently retired and are finding it a little bit difficult - not everyone has a long list of things they always wished they had time for), but she might not necessarily take kindly to advice - I know my parents don't!
posted by misscait at 6:10 AM on August 6, 2011
My mum (who trained in IT) didn't work for about 13 years when we were kids (which I realise is quite a lot less time out of the workforce than 29 years), and she went back into various part time IT-related jobs and worked her way back into a more interesting job from there. Not straightforward, but if your mum was an engineer (and therefore of a problem-solving bent) she almost certainly won't be happy doing stuff like Avon.
It's not an unreasonable thing to want to help her with (my parents have both recently retired and are finding it a little bit difficult - not everyone has a long list of things they always wished they had time for), but she might not necessarily take kindly to advice - I know my parents don't!
posted by misscait at 6:10 AM on August 6, 2011
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Technical sales?
posted by Leon at 3:11 AM on August 5, 2011