The White Album? Yeah, It's All About Fluid Volume Deficit.
August 3, 2011 2:36 PM   Subscribe

Music buffs & nurses, lend me your knowledge! Need assistance matching up popular song verses with health symptoms & nursing diagnoses.

OK, hive mind. I’m doing an audio project for one of my nursing school classes and I need your help. At this link there is a list (albeit somewhat incomplete) of official NANDA nursing diagnoses. For my project, I am creating a collage of audio clips from various songs, with each clip representing a different diagnosis (Note: I am by no means planning on including every diagnosis on this list - just enough to make it fun and interesting.)

Here are some examples I’ve already thought of:

-The “Uh-huh, uh-huh-huh! (Goddamn!)” segment from Let Me Clear My Throat by DJ Kool representing ‘Ineffective Airway Clearance’

-Wilson-Phillips singing “Hold on for one more day!” representing ‘Urinary Retention.’

-R.E.O. Speedwagon singing "I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore" representing ‘Urge Incontinence’

-The beginning "AAAAAH!" screams from Them Bones by Alice in Chains representing Acute Pain (not on linked list.)

-"But then you ate so much you nearly split your pants" from Bust A Move by Young M.C. representing ‘Altered Nutrition: More Than Body Requirements.’

-"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I’m miserable now" from Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths representing ‘Failure to Thrive’ (not on linked list.)

-"Dave the dope fiend shootin’ dope, who don’t know the meaning of water nor soap!" from Children’s Story by Slick Rick representing ‘Bathing/Hygiene Self-Care Deficit.’

All of the above examples are clearly more for amusement purposes, but I will need some more serious examples as well so the professor knows I actually DO care about the profession and what it stands for. (To that end, I will probably wrap it all around with something like ‘I’ll Be There’ by the Weekend Players or some such, although there’s a fine line between earnestness and over the top sappiness, the latter of which I want to avoid.) No genre is off limits, but I’d rather the clip/song not be so obscure that few people will have heard it. Also, and this probably goes without saying, some of the listed diagnoses are clearly tragic or difficult (I'm thinking particularly of the Rape-Trauma syndrome diagnoses) so please don't suggest clips that would make light of these, as they will not be used. Once I get enough clips I’m going to use Audacity to cut/splice and piece them all together with some voice over to make one cohesive presentation that is both amusing and (hopefully, with better clips than those above) somewhat inspiring.

So, brilliant people, any thoughts? Thanks so much in advance!
posted by Rewind to Health & Fitness (28 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Either "Take a load off Anny And you put the load right on me (You put the load right on me)" (The Band, The Weight) for morbid obesity. (Or "Carry That Weight" by the Beatles.)
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:43 PM on August 3, 2011

"I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down" (Elvis Costello) for erectile dysfunction.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:44 PM on August 3, 2011

Fear, Isolation. (Too literal?)
posted by robself at 2:45 PM on August 3, 2011

"Up on the Roof" extract (Drifters or James Taylor) for shingles.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:46 PM on August 3, 2011

"Push It" (Salt 'n Pepa) for Constipation. "Ahh, push it. Push it good. Ahh, push it. Push it reeeal good."

(I couldn't resist.)
posted by Falwless at 2:46 PM on August 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Take My Breath Away" (Berlin) for asthma.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 2:48 PM on August 3, 2011

"Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah Roma, roma, ma Gaga, ooh, la, la" from Bad Romance for Impaired Verbal Communication?

Cold as Ice by Foreigner for altered body temperature

I Am by Hilary Duff for Personal identity disturbance?

This is fun!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:06 PM on August 3, 2011

Impaired physical mobility = Elvis Costello, "I can't stand up for falling down"
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:06 PM on August 3, 2011

"I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down" (Elvis Costello) for erectile dysfunction.

The Dead Kennedys have another song for that particular ailment, although it may be a bit much for your professor.

Also, Elvis Costello has another song along those same lines, which dates to the pre-Viagra days when this was the best treatment for ED (although the song also predates the Erecaid by a few years many people I know have linked the two in their minds.
posted by TedW at 3:10 PM on August 3, 2011

Blood Makes Noise by Suzanne Vega for tinnitus. I've actually always thought that was what it was about.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 3:12 PM on August 3, 2011

"Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah Roma, roma, ma Gaga, ooh, la, la" from Bad Romance for Impaired Verbal Communication?

De Do Do Do De Da Da Da by The Police is a bit more spot on. Maybe for a stroke, too?
posted by The World Famous at 3:16 PM on August 3, 2011

Of course, on the internet there are always lists; here and here.

And then there is always Ring of Fire, about proctalgia.

Ok, I'll stop now
posted by TedW at 3:20 PM on August 3, 2011

Knowledge deficit = Peter Gabriel, "I Don't Remember"

"I don't remember, I don't recall
I got no memory of anything at all
I don't remember, I don't recall
I got no memory of anything
-anything at all"
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:32 PM on August 3, 2011

Ineffective thermoregulation = Suzanne Vega, "99.9F"

"You seem to me
Like a man
On the verge of burning
99.9 Fahrenheit degrees"
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:35 PM on August 3, 2011

Trying to stick with more well-known bands...

Ineffective airway clearance or ineffective breathing pattern
- "The Trick is to Keep Breathing" by Garbage

Altered nutrition: less than body requirements
- "Artificial Sweetener" by No Doubt

Altered health maintenance
- "Shake the Disease" by Depeche Mode

- "Caught a Lite Sneeze" by Tori Amos?

Ineffective denial
- "King of Wishful Thinking" by Go West

Ineffective individual coping
- "What Have I Done to Deserve This" The Pet Shop Boys

Chronic low self-esteem
- "Loser" by Beck

Sexual dysfunction
- "Boneless" by The Notwist :)
posted by (alice) at 3:41 PM on August 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ineffective denial = Pam Tillis, "Cleopatra, Queen Of Denial"

"I knew he didn't have any money
Yeah that's why he couldn't buy me a ring
Oh and just because he bought himself a brand new pickup truck
Really didn't prove anything
And he never had to say he loved me
I could see it every time he smiled
Just call me Cleopatra everybody, 'cause I'm the Queen of Denial"
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:49 PM on August 3, 2011

Creep by Radiohead or Loser by Beck for Chronic Low Self-Esteem

Myxomatosis by Radiohead for myxomatosis (okay, not on the list)

The Drugs Don't Work by The Verve for Acute Pain (?)

So Damn Lucky by Dave Matthews (it's about a car crash and him being thankful that she "went on ahead") for Anticipated Grief, Anxiety or Powerlessness

Dancing Nancies by Dave Matthews Band ("could i have been anyone other than me") for Personal Identity Disturbance (?)

41 by Dave Matthews Band for Sleep Disturbance ("Can't sleep, I swear by now I'm playing time against my troubles")

Should I Stay or Should I Go? by the Clash for Decisional Conflict

Rehab by Amy Winehouse (too soon?) for Noncompliance

Hey Jude by the Beatles for Ineffective Individual Coping

Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths for Anticipated Grief
posted by guster4lovers at 4:01 PM on August 3, 2011

You guys are awesome! Keep 'em coming! I should have been more specific about one thing in my initial question, however. Individual medical diagnoses such as erectile dysfunction, tinnitus, shingles (brilliant idea, by the way Clyde Mnestra) are given by doctors and as such would be frowned upon as a nursing diagnosis. That doesn't mean I can't manipulate them into one of the nursing diagnoses linked in the question, however (i.e. tinnitus could be changed to 'auditory sensory perception' for example.) Anyway, thanks again all! These are great.

TedW: Great suggestion, and yes, I'm not sure how risque I should be. I was thinking of perhaps using 'I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again" from Detachable Penis by King Missile for 'Disturbed Body Image' but it might be a bit much.
posted by Rewind at 4:22 PM on August 3, 2011

Hypothermia = Foreigner - Cold As Ice

Hyperthermia = Foreigner - Hot Blooded

Diarrhea = Moon River
posted by p3t3 at 4:22 PM on August 3, 2011 [1 favorite]

Altered (specify type) tissue perfusion (cardiopulmonary) = Bonnie Tyler, "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

"Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart"
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:32 PM on August 3, 2011

I hate those damn NANDAs NICs and NOCs but this is kind of fun

Impaired verbal communication - The Who "Can't Explain"

Impaired skin integrity (or Risk for infection) - Sinatra "I've got you under my skin"

Risk for falls - Elvis "I Can't Help Falling in Love"
posted by klarck at 4:53 PM on August 3, 2011

Dysfunctional Grieving = Queen - Another One Bites The Dust

Fluid Volume Deficit = The Chordettes - Mr. Sandman

Fluid Volume Excess = Ween - Ocean Man (or Andrew WK - I Get Wet, .. or Old Man River)
posted by p3t3 at 5:05 PM on August 3, 2011

Sexual dysfunction = The Rolling Stones, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" or "She's So Cold"

Ineffective family coping; compromised = The Rolling Stones, "Mother's Little Helper"

"Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day"
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:29 PM on August 3, 2011

Sensory/perceptual alterations = Close to You by Karen Carpenter (Why do birds / suddenly appear...)

Altered parenting = Surrender by Cheap Trick (Mommy's Alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird...)

Noncompliance = I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) by Meatloaf

Knowledge deficit = Wonderful World by Sam Cooke (Don't know much about history / don't know much biology... )

Sleep pattern disturbance = You Really Got Me by the Kinks (Yeah, you really got me now / you got me so I can't sleep at night...)
posted by patnasty at 6:48 PM on August 3, 2011

Bathing/hygiene self-care deficit : Come Together by the Beatles?
posted by titanium_geek at 7:26 PM on August 3, 2011

Sleep pattern disturbance - Brain Stew by Green Day
Impaired gas exchange - Carbon Monoxide by Cake
Self-esteem disturbance - Self-Esteem by The Offspring
Ineffective breathing pattern - Barely Breathing by Duncan Sheik
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:15 PM on August 3, 2011

Bathing/hygiene self-care deficit - Splish Splash by Bobby Darin (Splish splash / I forgot about the bath)

Social isolation - Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton (Lonely / I'm Mr. Lonely / I got nobody / to call on the phone)

Decreased cardiac output - Heartbeat by Buddy Holly (Heartbeat / Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?)

Potential for suffocation - No Air by Jordin Sparks (Tell me how I'm s'posed to breathe with no air)

Ineffective thermoregulation - Hot N Cold by Katy Perry ('Cause you're hot then you're cold)

Anticipatory Grieving - He Is Not Dead Yet from Spamalot (He is not yet dead / that man is off his head)
posted by lovedbymarylane at 4:33 AM on August 4, 2011

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