Moving city - so many emotions now!!
July 31, 2011 1:32 AM   Subscribe

I have decided to move with no job - am I stupid?

Hi all,
So I have done alot of therapy and alot of soul searching over the last 6 months since my split with my ex. Please read my last post for a background.

I have managed to get my work to hold my job for 7 months, which is simply pretty amazing. I have also found someone in another city who is willing to take me in as a flatmate. I have only spoken to this person on the phone but they sound lovely (they are a child psychologist which is a little freaky - but she sounds so helpful)

So just wanted some opinions on all this. I know what I am doing is almost completely crazy and out of the regular mould. I will be moving to the new city without a job, but I do have a good savings cushion to survive without work for a few months.

Only thing is I have done the work and made a decision to move city, and found a flatmate (who may or may not be ideal - but she sounds pretty good). I have only been to this city a couple of times, but I know it is a really nice place. But I'm not completely sure of my plans once I am there. I think the main focus will be on finding employment and groups to join first up. IT worries me that I might just go there and sit in my room all day, but I'm in control of that.

My rationale is really that I have the ultimate safety net under me in that my job is guaranteed here if things go pear shaped - and I can always come back to it.

So anyway would just like peoples thoughts on my plan. Am I completely nutters??!! Or am I brave and bold (and maybe a bit stupid). I plan to take up a bar job or something like that for a while just to pay the bills, and reassess the situation from there in terms of finding more stable work or travelling or studying or anything!!!

I decided with the help of my therapist that now my only focus is personal growth, not financial growth or anything else. Right now I just want to grow up so hopefully I will have a good footing for the future.

I know my plan might not work, but I have to try, i am in a huge rut. This won't be a miracle cure, but I'll have to fend for myself and I think find out what I am really made of in the process :)

oh and i know no one in this city - so this scares me, but my friends and family are only a phone/skype call away. it will be hard. i just don't know if i am making life harder on myself than it should be. i don't want to be in this city anymore - i need a change
posted by quiero ser feliz to Human Relations (17 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I know my plan might not work, but I have to try, i am in a huge rut. This won't be a miracle cure, but I'll have to fend for myself and I think find out what I am really made of in the process :)

I agree. I think we are too tied, in general, to the idea of security. If you are not putting other folks at risk of paying for your mistakes, if you know what you are doing may be risky but are determined to give it a shot (and have at least some semblance of a back-up plan, even if that may be to go live out of a tent...), then I think you are doing the right thing, especially if you are doing it to push yourself out of a rut and get into a good place in your life. I'm engaged in something similarly risky now, and while it is tough here and there, and some days are worse than others, I've found that things are slowly coming together just because I'm working at making it happen.

So on that note, I say go for it, give it a shot, and I'm rooting for you!
posted by dubitable at 2:08 AM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Go for it! I have done similar things more than once and have turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.
I ask myself the same I completely nutters or what? But in the end you can rest assured in that you, amazingly, have a job to fall back on, in a city you know, and friends and family to call.
So go out there get your safari cap on and make an adventure for yourself in your new settings. Live your legend. So many people are tied or bound by their responsibilities and financial obligations that this kind of thing would never be possible for them. Take the chance and I'm sure you won't be worse for wear. And if you are, you can take pride in your brave choice to seek what you desire and attempt to succeed under unknown circumstances.
One thing to keep in mind, from my experience, is that your personal growth (and healing) won't automatically come from changing environments. That is something that is inside you and your heart and mind. Changing city will give you new distractions, yes, and it will give you new boundaries to push and see where the inner you is most comfortable. Breakups make for a good catalyst for these kind of moves and aims for self growth, so I'm not saying to discount that. Just remember to keep your goals in those respects, while you are navigating the new city and life you will begin. I hope that makes sense. Good luck! The world is your oyster.
posted by talljamal at 2:26 AM on July 31, 2011

I moved last year, across the country (Northern New Jersey to Seattle), because I needed to get out of my rut. (Also got laid off and found out my rent was going up $200/mo if I renewed my lease, which helped.) My family and friends mostly thought I was crazy.

I did move in with people I'd met before, so that helped, a bit.

I just got a line on what I hope will be a good job.

Sometimes it's what you need to do. For example, when I moved, I had a lot of pain in my legs, and was wobbling my way towards the 500 pound mark; now I'm at 370 and still going down. That's a rut I'm glad to be out of. A shake-up can help a lot.
posted by mephron at 2:28 AM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

My wife and I just did that in February. Granted, I'm working two jobs, and she's working three, we're having fun and enjoying the new place.
posted by schyler523 at 4:42 AM on July 31, 2011

I reckon it's far better to regret the things you've done than to regret the things you haven't done. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and all that.

Go. Why not? You have a safety net (your job being held for you). What's the worst that can happen? You spend 6 months outside of your comfort zone, and if worst comes to worst, you move back - perhaps with a refreshed outlook and renewed enthusiasm to not get back into your rut.

And if best comes to best, you'll have created a new life for yourself, and you'll know that you are capable of being strong and brave and adventurous.

posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:57 AM on July 31, 2011

I've done it! Go!!!

(my spidey sense tells me you should look for a new flat-mate situation on the sly as soon as you arrive... even if you think it might be ok at first blush when you finally meet this flatmate...just in case, just a spidey sense...)
posted by jbenben at 6:02 AM on July 31, 2011

I have decided to move with no job a job to come back to after 7 months if it doesn't work out - am I stupid? - No.

Look at it like a seven month sabatical from work, with the option of quitting if something better comes along. I'm sure many people would jump at the opportunity.
posted by waterandrock at 6:43 AM on July 31, 2011 [2 favorites]

Are you running FROM something or running TO something?
Some things follow you no matter where you go.
Hope that helps you with your decision and I wish you luck.
posted by NoraCharles at 6:48 AM on July 31, 2011 [1 favorite]

You have a plan, a back-up plan, reasonable expectations, and several safety nets if things go wrong (a job held for you, money saved up, parents who will take your call). This is fantastic! Enjoy your adventure!

If you find yourself anxious that your plan will fail, remember this: People who have never failed have never challenged themselves hard enough. I think you're going to have a good experience, and learn a lot about yourself and how strong and capable you really are.
posted by Houstonian at 7:35 AM on July 31, 2011

I think you're crazy, but then I'm very anxious about this kind of thing... Maybe it'll work for you.

I really just wanted to say that I know a child psychologist and it's not a weird job at all. In my case, she's employed by the public schools and works with special needs children full time (think kids with pretty severe learning or social delays). Not only is it a job which is obviously needed, but in many cases the public schools are required by law to provide trained professionals for certain services like developmental testing. It's no stranger than being a pediatric nurse.
posted by anaelith at 8:04 AM on July 31, 2011

I did something similar. I quit my job and moved across the country to be with my boyfriend. When I left my friend said, "you can always move back if it doesn't work out." it sounds like you are in an even better position because your job is being held for you.

Some advice: Decide on a few key groups for making friends and networking. Then create a schedule for yourself. So for example: Monday I'm doing the cooking meet up, Tuesday I'm doing the running club, Friday I'm doing the networking mixer. The Internet is really your friend here. I was able to keep very busy, meet some cool people (and eventually friends), and get some good job leads this way.
posted by bananafish at 8:11 AM on July 31, 2011

I remember you! From your last question!

You're actually doing this and I'm very proud of you. I really am.

Please just jump. I moved to NYC a few years ago with no job and almost no cash.

It's now 5 years later and I'm totally happy. So, no, you're not nutters. Go.
posted by functionequalsform at 8:16 AM on July 31, 2011 [3 favorites]

Do it! Go and become the person that you want to be! This is a precious gift not to be wasted!
posted by kamikazegopher at 11:21 AM on July 31, 2011

This is not crazy. People do this all the time. You're young, you don't have major responsibilities besides yourself, you've got a support network and some resources. It's an adventure, don't overthink it.
posted by nanojath at 12:48 PM on July 31, 2011

Carpe Diem.

Good Luck.
posted by Flood at 1:20 PM on July 31, 2011

I've done it three times. It can be tough at first (I did it once in about shitty job markets), but it's always been exciting and fun, and I've never regretted it. Do it now while you can do these kinds of things. What's the worst that could happen?
posted by Lutoslawski at 1:31 PM on July 31, 2011

I did this. One of the best decisions I ever made.

Word of warning, though, I had several months' cushion saved up so that I could pay rent while I looked for a job that would allow me to actually get on with a career (as I knew that if I took another retail/bartending gig, I'd have a hard time doing what I needed to do.) I thought it would take me about three months, but it took me six, and that was pretty rough on me financially and emotionally.

That's not a reason to not move -- not at all. Just be really freaking careful with those pennies in case they have to last you longer than you expect.
posted by desuetude at 3:27 PM on July 31, 2011

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