Pass through O'Hare security with marijuana in my butt?
July 30, 2011 4:05 PM   Subscribe

Does O'Hare airport have backscatter x-ray machines, ion mobility spectrometers or other devices that would know that I've got something hidden under my clothes?

I'm going to be flying out of O'Hare and hope to hide an eight of marijuana between my butcheecks. I've done it many many times before but never out of O'Hare. Also, what would happen to me if I got caught with an eighth of weed at the airport (between my butcheeks)? Thanks.
posted by tunestunes to Travel & Transportation (10 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This is maybe above and beyond what we're really okay with you asking here. -- cortex

I've flow through several major and less than major airports recently and they all had backscatter machines and they were all using them a lot. Not every single passenger but a good chunk of them and me every time. Some Googling reveals that O'Hare does have at least one backscatter machine. I'm pretty sure they would see something under your clothes, that's the whole point of them. If you got caught they would surely call over some of the many police officers that are at every airport to arrest you.

So, probably a bad idea.
posted by ghharr at 4:13 PM on July 30, 2011

Also, what would happen to me if I got caught with an eighth of weed at the airport (between my butcheeks)? Thanks.

I have had friends who've traveled out of O'Hare with small amounts of weed. They've never tried to hide it, only to be met by shrugs by TSA inspectors. I guess if you got a "not so cool" inspector, you'll not have it so easy.

I would avoid the hassle and simply try to buy a bag from the bartender at your hotel.
posted by geoff. at 4:18 PM on July 30, 2011

1. O'Hare is one of the busiest airports in the world. They have it all.

2. You'd be arrested.

3. You know this isn't anonymous right?

4. Really?
posted by cmoj at 4:18 PM on July 30, 2011 [4 favorites]

Are your buttcheeks fleshy enough that the item would be completely enveloped?
posted by thirteenkiller at 4:20 PM on July 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

yes, indeed, my buttcheeks are.
posted by tunestunes at 4:22 PM on July 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

and to all those who think i'm an idiot for talking about carrying a little weed in my butt over the internet,, who cares? are cops gonna show up at my door tonight because of it?
posted by tunestunes at 4:24 PM on July 30, 2011

I would suggest that if you can't do without the weed until you can establish some kind of connection to get more (or else until you return home) you might need to consider whether you're too dependent on the stuff. Seriously, think about how bad an idea this is - you know you're going to get searched/imaged and you want to do something obviously illegal where you can't even pretend it was a mistake.
posted by Frowner at 4:25 PM on July 30, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why can't you buy weed where you end up? It's got to be one of the most widely available drugs on the planet. And then you wouldn't need to smoke weed that's been in your butt—butt weed.
posted by chunking express at 4:27 PM on July 30, 2011

I've had the enhanced pat-down at O'Hare and they definitely didn't spread my cheeks or go into the butt at all really, although they do backhand your crotch. Unless something has changed very recently, you can decline the backscatter machine in favor of the pat-down.
posted by thirteenkiller at 4:29 PM on July 30, 2011 [1 favorite]

The backscatter machines and millimeter wave scanners are all still opt-out - you can ask for a pat down. None of the pat-downs I've ever got went up my butt crack.

I don't believe the puffers sniff for drugs.

Also, TSA's mandate does not include being able to arrest people for drugs. They would need to involve a LEO.
posted by tomierna at 4:29 PM on July 30, 2011

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