I've Got Blisters on My....Sexy Bits?
July 26, 2011 2:00 PM Subscribe
I've got a weird little bump in my nether regions as a result of an ingrown hair gone wild. Is there a way I can get rid of it? In the meantime, how do I explain its existence to sexual partners without freaking them out?
I'm a female and this bump is located pretty high up on my pubis, maybe an inch or two away from my belly button. Basically, I had an ingrown hair, it got infected and then overhealed. The hair is no longer there, but the bump remains. I've been to two gynecologists and they've confirmed that it is an ingrown hair and not an STI of some sort. I have a sneaking suspicion that it has freaked out a partner or two once they found it, believing it to be an STI. No one has ever said anything specifically to me, but their body language changed suddenly and the relationship usually ended rather quickly after that.
I don't know if I should bring up the bump before or during sexy time, or if I should just ignore it. Is it weird to say, "Hey I have this bump on my bits, but it's not an STI, FYI?"
I'd like to get rid of this sucker once and for all. My gynecologists weren't very helpful with information about this. I don't know who to talk to. Maybe a dermatologist?
I'm a female and this bump is located pretty high up on my pubis, maybe an inch or two away from my belly button. Basically, I had an ingrown hair, it got infected and then overhealed. The hair is no longer there, but the bump remains. I've been to two gynecologists and they've confirmed that it is an ingrown hair and not an STI of some sort. I have a sneaking suspicion that it has freaked out a partner or two once they found it, believing it to be an STI. No one has ever said anything specifically to me, but their body language changed suddenly and the relationship usually ended rather quickly after that.
I don't know if I should bring up the bump before or during sexy time, or if I should just ignore it. Is it weird to say, "Hey I have this bump on my bits, but it's not an STI, FYI?"
I'd like to get rid of this sucker once and for all. My gynecologists weren't very helpful with information about this. I don't know who to talk to. Maybe a dermatologist?
Definitely see a dermatologist. This is a skin problem, not a lady bits problem.
It's possible you can get the thing removed or otherwise taken care of, but it's also possible that you're stick with it. Scar tissue, which this thing may be, can take years to go away.
posted by valkyryn at 2:13 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's possible you can get the thing removed or otherwise taken care of, but it's also possible that you're stick with it. Scar tissue, which this thing may be, can take years to go away.
posted by valkyryn at 2:13 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Talk to a dermatologist about it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:13 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:13 PM on July 26, 2011
Is it weird to say, "Hey I have this bump on my bits, but it's not an STI, FYI?"
Nope, although I would specifically say "it's a scar" just to not leave 'em guessing.
posted by griphus at 2:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Nope, although I would specifically say "it's a scar" just to not leave 'em guessing.
posted by griphus at 2:14 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Name it and introduce it to future partners. "Hey fella, meet Zenobia, my ingrown hair scar!"
posted by carsonb at 2:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by carsonb at 2:15 PM on July 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Since people notice it, it's probably the better practice to introduce them to this around the same time you talk over the rest of your pre-flight checklist. Offer to show documentation if necessary. Put yourself in your partner's shoes; explanations offered when people are aroused and thinking with their sexy parts are not exactly the most trustworthy statements.
Talk to your GP about whether it can be removed without a referral to a specialist.
posted by Hylas at 2:30 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Talk to your GP about whether it can be removed without a referral to a specialist.
posted by Hylas at 2:30 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I have a small scar from an ingrown hair."
posted by jbenben at 2:50 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by jbenben at 2:50 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
You might actually need a plastic surgeon for this. I had an ingrown hair on my inner thigh that was very deep and wanted it removed and my GP sent me to a plastic surgeon, who put me under a local anaesthetic for a very short operation in his office (the whole procedure was covered by provincial health care). Talk to your GP, who'll refer you to a dermatologist or a plastic surgeon if necessary.
posted by pised at 2:54 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by pised at 2:54 PM on July 26, 2011
I'm sorry but this... isn't computing. I am baffled as to how anyone might confuse a scar or wound on what you are essentially defining as your stomach with an STI. Because 2 inches below your bellybutton is still way far north of your bikini/underpants waist and like, like a mile from your hooha or anywhere near there. I mean, nobody would be confused about the relative topography of a c-section scar, for example. What am I missing?
posted by DarlingBri at 3:12 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by DarlingBri at 3:12 PM on July 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
Don't say "i have a scar from an ingrown hair". Just say "its a scar".
And an inch or two from your belly button is NOT your pubis, it's your stomach (unless you're an infant.) Go to a dermatologist. Or, if you're certain it's scar tissue that isn't going away, go to a plastic surgeon.
posted by Kololo at 3:26 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
And an inch or two from your belly button is NOT your pubis, it's your stomach (unless you're an infant.) Go to a dermatologist. Or, if you're certain it's scar tissue that isn't going away, go to a plastic surgeon.
posted by Kololo at 3:26 PM on July 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
If you're really self conscious about it then let them know by saying you have a scar, but it doesn't sound like it's exactly in prime STI real estate.
I was on the receiving end of this kind of warning. It started off with him saying, "So, I promise I don't have herpes but... I have this bump..." I didn't find that weird at all, the humor was a good ice breaker and opportunity to tease, and it was no big deal. I probably would have been a bit worried if/when I found it on my own.
posted by subject_verb_remainder at 3:39 PM on July 26, 2011
I was on the receiving end of this kind of warning. It started off with him saying, "So, I promise I don't have herpes but... I have this bump..." I didn't find that weird at all, the humor was a good ice breaker and opportunity to tease, and it was no big deal. I probably would have been a bit worried if/when I found it on my own.
posted by subject_verb_remainder at 3:39 PM on July 26, 2011
If it is really that high up on your stomach, you could just put a bandaid on it.
But if it is closer to your nether regions (which I think it is, if you had an ingrown hair there), you could mention it to your partners pre-sexytime so you don't worry about it later.
It's possible that the earlier guys were just not in it for the long haul, or that you acted self-consciously about the hair and that's what turned them off, rather than the actual little mark. Honestly, it really seems like a non-issue to me, so I'm surprised it is causing this much trouble for you. But then, I have a scar on my stomach from c-sections/hysterectomy, so maybe I am not the best judge.
posted by misha at 3:47 PM on July 26, 2011
But if it is closer to your nether regions (which I think it is, if you had an ingrown hair there), you could mention it to your partners pre-sexytime so you don't worry about it later.
It's possible that the earlier guys were just not in it for the long haul, or that you acted self-consciously about the hair and that's what turned them off, rather than the actual little mark. Honestly, it really seems like a non-issue to me, so I'm surprised it is causing this much trouble for you. But then, I have a scar on my stomach from c-sections/hysterectomy, so maybe I am not the best judge.
posted by misha at 3:47 PM on July 26, 2011
Good lordy, don't warn anybody ahead of time. Its a little scar on your abdomen from a hair, don't make it seem like its an emotional and physical big deal. You get naked, you say "hey, how'd you like my scar?" with joking smile on your face, and its DONE.
posted by Kololo at 5:01 PM on July 26, 2011
posted by Kololo at 5:01 PM on July 26, 2011
Talk to a dermatologist if it really bugs you, but this is one of those things that will almost certainly become less of a big deal to you the older/more mature/more experienced you and your partners get. You will have seen more bodies, they will have seen more bodies, and it just won't seem so unusual.
And, just as an aside, if that bump really ended a relationship, you are probably better off without that person (I realize this is easier said than done. But.). If you get it removed, do it for yourself, not your potential sex partners.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:21 PM on July 26, 2011
And, just as an aside, if that bump really ended a relationship, you are probably better off without that person (I realize this is easier said than done. But.). If you get it removed, do it for yourself, not your potential sex partners.
posted by thinkingwoman at 6:21 PM on July 26, 2011
My ingrown hair scar took years and years to really fade, but it only took maybe 6 months to fade enough so that it looked definitely old, healed, and over and less weird, red, and fresh.
posted by anaelith at 5:45 AM on July 27, 2011
posted by anaelith at 5:45 AM on July 27, 2011
Do you really want to date a man dumb enough that he thinks a spot on your abdomen is from an STD?
Don't mention it at all. If a prospective guy gets all freaked out, he failed the test. He probably won't notice, though. If he does and you explain it, he'll either believe you and you're off to the races, or he's dumber than a bag of dirt.
Sounds like a pretty good yardstick to me.
posted by phoebus at 12:01 AM on July 28, 2011
Don't mention it at all. If a prospective guy gets all freaked out, he failed the test. He probably won't notice, though. If he does and you explain it, he'll either believe you and you're off to the races, or he's dumber than a bag of dirt.
Sounds like a pretty good yardstick to me.
posted by phoebus at 12:01 AM on July 28, 2011
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A dermatologist can help you, though.
posted by corey flood at 2:08 PM on July 26, 2011