Quo vadis libido?
June 22, 2011 6:56 AM Subscribe
SSRIs, birth control, and my significant other’s libido: how do these add up to a severely diminished sex drive?
My SO and I have been together for six months. I know that one of the normal stages of a relationship usually includes a plateau in the frequency of sex.
I imagine that we reached that a few months ago. The sex is absolutely mind-blowingly great when we have it: I (male) have no problem giving her multiple orgasms before climaxing myself and sex/foreplay is usually preceded by an intense massage for her.
I usually cook dinner, so the meals are high-protein, high in colorful vegetable starch, and we usually have wine. Neither of us skips meals or smokes or does anything that might drastically change our metabolism in a given day or week. We happen to be in excellent shape and exercise frequently (cardio. and weight training).
Salient info. about me: I am the happy-go-lucky type. If I were to die tomorrow, I would die happy and without regret. I genuinely have no great worries in life, my career is stable and fulfilling, but by no means my entire life, and I set and (sometimes reach) short-term and long-term goals. I am never moody, but if I catch myself getting upset or frustrated by something, I try to practice mindfulness to get by the stressor and move on.
My SO, on the other hand, takes an SSRI called Celexa and must have a specific brand of birth control called Yasmin in order to avoid what she describes as “debilitating cramps and PMS” each month. I have every reason to believe her and would never dream of asking her to suffer for any reason, including her sex drive.
After the initial afterglow of our new relationship transitioned into the contentment of the plateau (as I’ve seen it described elsewhere), the frequency with which we have sex has dramatically decreased. I am still madly in love with her and would do anything to please her and make her happy. She is THE one, without a doubt in my mind.
I could be (and have been in past relationships) a twice-a-day kind of guy, but I am more than happy with a few times a week, because compromise is important to me. My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable. She has said she genuinely wishes that she could match my libido even by half, but is unable to. I respect her wishes and avoid amorous embraces and advances at all times. She says that it is best if I wait for her to show me when she wants sex, no exceptions. I still show her physical affection with kisses, hugs, and holding her hand.
Sidenote: I am by no means a body builder, but the large majority of my physical activity is weight-lifting and highly physical activities like soccer and kayaking. The testosterone rush on days when I have been super-active is extremely intense and thus my libido more or less increases in intensity. I do my best to contain myself through masturbation, reading, and (novice) attempts at meditation.
Am I missing anything? Is there anything outside the realm of changing meds that either of us could do to perhaps help her regain her libido? Her doctor and OB-GYN both said (in the last month) that it is a possible side effect of her meds. They also indicated that the alternatives to Celexa and Yasmin have similar potential side effects.
Throwaway: askmefianonym@gmail.com
My SO and I have been together for six months. I know that one of the normal stages of a relationship usually includes a plateau in the frequency of sex.
I imagine that we reached that a few months ago. The sex is absolutely mind-blowingly great when we have it: I (male) have no problem giving her multiple orgasms before climaxing myself and sex/foreplay is usually preceded by an intense massage for her.
I usually cook dinner, so the meals are high-protein, high in colorful vegetable starch, and we usually have wine. Neither of us skips meals or smokes or does anything that might drastically change our metabolism in a given day or week. We happen to be in excellent shape and exercise frequently (cardio. and weight training).
Salient info. about me: I am the happy-go-lucky type. If I were to die tomorrow, I would die happy and without regret. I genuinely have no great worries in life, my career is stable and fulfilling, but by no means my entire life, and I set and (sometimes reach) short-term and long-term goals. I am never moody, but if I catch myself getting upset or frustrated by something, I try to practice mindfulness to get by the stressor and move on.
My SO, on the other hand, takes an SSRI called Celexa and must have a specific brand of birth control called Yasmin in order to avoid what she describes as “debilitating cramps and PMS” each month. I have every reason to believe her and would never dream of asking her to suffer for any reason, including her sex drive.
After the initial afterglow of our new relationship transitioned into the contentment of the plateau (as I’ve seen it described elsewhere), the frequency with which we have sex has dramatically decreased. I am still madly in love with her and would do anything to please her and make her happy. She is THE one, without a doubt in my mind.
I could be (and have been in past relationships) a twice-a-day kind of guy, but I am more than happy with a few times a week, because compromise is important to me. My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable. She has said she genuinely wishes that she could match my libido even by half, but is unable to. I respect her wishes and avoid amorous embraces and advances at all times. She says that it is best if I wait for her to show me when she wants sex, no exceptions. I still show her physical affection with kisses, hugs, and holding her hand.
Sidenote: I am by no means a body builder, but the large majority of my physical activity is weight-lifting and highly physical activities like soccer and kayaking. The testosterone rush on days when I have been super-active is extremely intense and thus my libido more or less increases in intensity. I do my best to contain myself through masturbation, reading, and (novice) attempts at meditation.
Am I missing anything? Is there anything outside the realm of changing meds that either of us could do to perhaps help her regain her libido? Her doctor and OB-GYN both said (in the last month) that it is a possible side effect of her meds. They also indicated that the alternatives to Celexa and Yasmin have similar potential side effects.
Throwaway: askmefianonym@gmail.com
I can address the latter part of your question. I would say that the low libido is not just a 'possible' side effect, but rather a highly likely, very common side effect of both Celexa and Yasmin. I have been on both. It's true that the most commonly prescribed alternatives to Celexa (meaning, other SSRIs) will likely affect libido, there are non-SSRI antidepressants out there. I just switched to one from Celexa not one month ago, and my libido is much stronger (you can look through my last few AskMe posts for more on this) I also wonder if a Mirena UID might affect her libido to a lesser degree than the Yasmin. I don't know the answer to this and FWIW, my libido didn't really improve with the Mirena, although I had given birth prior to getting it and that changes lots of stuff. Anyhow, as it can reduce the length of periods and sometimes make them go away altogether (temporarily, of course), it might be something worth considering.
Sorry. I think a lot of guys are in this boat - I know my husband is or least was until recently.
posted by kitcat at 7:18 AM on June 22, 2011
Sorry. I think a lot of guys are in this boat - I know my husband is or least was until recently.
posted by kitcat at 7:18 AM on June 22, 2011
there's several fishy somethings here but I'm going to start with the most obvious one.
You come across as the perfect partner/lover. But after 4 months of multiple orgasms and frequent mindblowing sex she's now established a pattern of "no sex until I'm horny and that's maybe once a week"
Changes that drastic are not only related to hormones. She may have been faking the multiples in the initial phase of your relationship and she may not be that into sex for whatever reason but felt she needed to go along with your needs rather than her own. Now that your convinced she's "THE ONE" she can relax. In a loving relationship that's as supportive as you claim she would be showing more signs of meeting you half-way on this.
(I can't be the only woman in the world who'll give it the good old College try no matter how exhausted when my partner is seriously horny??)
You focus on the birth control meds and tell us her symptoms but not why she's taking an anti-depressant.
This does not add up to the ONE unless by the ONE you mean someone who won't discuss serious issues with you and make some move to meet your concerns.
posted by Wilder at 7:18 AM on June 22, 2011 [9 favorites]
You come across as the perfect partner/lover. But after 4 months of multiple orgasms and frequent mindblowing sex she's now established a pattern of "no sex until I'm horny and that's maybe once a week"
Changes that drastic are not only related to hormones. She may have been faking the multiples in the initial phase of your relationship and she may not be that into sex for whatever reason but felt she needed to go along with your needs rather than her own. Now that your convinced she's "THE ONE" she can relax. In a loving relationship that's as supportive as you claim she would be showing more signs of meeting you half-way on this.
(I can't be the only woman in the world who'll give it the good old College try no matter how exhausted when my partner is seriously horny??)
You focus on the birth control meds and tell us her symptoms but not why she's taking an anti-depressant.
This does not add up to the ONE unless by the ONE you mean someone who won't discuss serious issues with you and make some move to meet your concerns.
posted by Wilder at 7:18 AM on June 22, 2011 [9 favorites]
Also, does she specifically take the Yasmin because she has endometriosis? Has she been checked for endometriosis? Debilitating cramps are not normal.
posted by noxetlux at 7:19 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by noxetlux at 7:19 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]
Did she have low libido before the meds? In other relationships? I think that's important to have a conversation about because it seems that it could be that she might have a much lower sex drive than you anyway. If that's the case the meds might be making it worse but even if that could be fixed you might still have a problem on your hands.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 7:29 AM on June 22, 2011
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 7:29 AM on June 22, 2011
Are the birth control and/or SSRIs new? While both can have a side effect of reduced libido its unlikely the cause of a sudden decrease in libido if she's been on them for months/years.
posted by missmagenta at 7:33 AM on June 22, 2011
posted by missmagenta at 7:33 AM on June 22, 2011
Sure, it's possible for medication to inhibit someone's sex drive. An old boyfriend of mine had difficulty reaching orgasm when he was on Zoloft or Paxil. It was very frustrating for him. For me, it wasn't that big a deal because there were lots of other things we could do sexually and sensually that were nice. I felt badly for him but we managed. There were times it wasn't a problem at all.
But I want to ask you a question. Is she concerned about her libido? Because it doesn't sound to me like she's concerned about her libido. It sounds to me like you are pressuring her to have sex more often than she feels comfortable. You mention that you are capable of giving her multiple orgasms and that there's lots of intense massage and foreplay for her. Frankly, it seems like you're focused on her orgasm a lot. That puts a lot of pressure on a person, when they are made to feel that their sexual response is in the spotlight.
When I was younger and in the early stages of dating someone, I truly found it kind of irritating to be the focus of the occasional endless stimulation campaign. Yes, orgasms are great and being attended to sexually is wonderful. But seriously? Sometimes it feels a little exhausting and not about me if you need to give me multiple orgasms in order to feel like Tarzan. Sometimes one orgasm is fine. Sometimes a 10 minute quickie is fabulous. Sometimes I don't really feel like all the bells and whistles and just sheer concentration it takes to seriously fuck. Sometimes I just want to fuck without lighting the candles and laying out the ceremonial sheath and headdress. I'd like us both to get off and then maybe get up and go make a sandwich or finish reading the article I started twenty minutes ago.
I want you to consider that if you explore other ways to feel close with her, like spending time talking and laughing and cuddling and massaging and kissing even that doesn't necessarily lead to penetrative sex, you might begin to build the foundation for real intimacy. And if you do that, you might find that there are non-sticky parts of intimacy that feel pretty exquisite in and of themselves. And, who knows? She might not feel quite so pressured and she might start to initiate sex a little more frequently because it's about something other than physical sensation.
PS - Yes, debilitating cramps can be totally normal. I've had them. Friends have had them. Some women bleed a lot and have bad cramping and do not have endometriosis. They just don't feel like they should have to devote any time to experiencing those really crappy things when there are alternatives.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 8:21 AM on June 22, 2011 [14 favorites]
But I want to ask you a question. Is she concerned about her libido? Because it doesn't sound to me like she's concerned about her libido. It sounds to me like you are pressuring her to have sex more often than she feels comfortable. You mention that you are capable of giving her multiple orgasms and that there's lots of intense massage and foreplay for her. Frankly, it seems like you're focused on her orgasm a lot. That puts a lot of pressure on a person, when they are made to feel that their sexual response is in the spotlight.
When I was younger and in the early stages of dating someone, I truly found it kind of irritating to be the focus of the occasional endless stimulation campaign. Yes, orgasms are great and being attended to sexually is wonderful. But seriously? Sometimes it feels a little exhausting and not about me if you need to give me multiple orgasms in order to feel like Tarzan. Sometimes one orgasm is fine. Sometimes a 10 minute quickie is fabulous. Sometimes I don't really feel like all the bells and whistles and just sheer concentration it takes to seriously fuck. Sometimes I just want to fuck without lighting the candles and laying out the ceremonial sheath and headdress. I'd like us both to get off and then maybe get up and go make a sandwich or finish reading the article I started twenty minutes ago.
I want you to consider that if you explore other ways to feel close with her, like spending time talking and laughing and cuddling and massaging and kissing even that doesn't necessarily lead to penetrative sex, you might begin to build the foundation for real intimacy. And if you do that, you might find that there are non-sticky parts of intimacy that feel pretty exquisite in and of themselves. And, who knows? She might not feel quite so pressured and she might start to initiate sex a little more frequently because it's about something other than physical sensation.
PS - Yes, debilitating cramps can be totally normal. I've had them. Friends have had them. Some women bleed a lot and have bad cramping and do not have endometriosis. They just don't feel like they should have to devote any time to experiencing those really crappy things when there are alternatives.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 8:21 AM on June 22, 2011 [14 favorites]
The sex is absolutely mind-blowingly great when we have it: I (male) have no problem giving her multiple orgasms before climaxing myself and sex/foreplay is usually preceded by an intense massage for her.
My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable.
Those two things don't add up for me. Aside from the other issues, have you tried having less intense sex and maybe stopping after she has 1 orgasm? I don't know what's going on inside her head, but she may feel like the sex you guys have takes a lot out of her and she can only handle that once a week.
posted by Ashley801 at 8:53 AM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable.
Those two things don't add up for me. Aside from the other issues, have you tried having less intense sex and maybe stopping after she has 1 orgasm? I don't know what's going on inside her head, but she may feel like the sex you guys have takes a lot out of her and she can only handle that once a week.
posted by Ashley801 at 8:53 AM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
You say you eat protein and starch. If you don't eat plenty of fat, try that you need it for testosterone. Nothing wrong with grass fed meat and fat, but some people don't like that idea. If you don't olive oil would be a good choice. Women need testosterone as well.
posted by Not Supplied at 9:40 AM on June 22, 2011
posted by Not Supplied at 9:40 AM on June 22, 2011
My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable.
I have felt like this, and it was almost always in the context of super-pushy/insensitive partners. It starts with the low libido, but then you can't walk past him to the bathroom without being mauled (low point in my life: 105-degree fever, serious *gastric* virus, kinda hallucinating, took clothes off because I was hot, started getting boobs grabbed) and there's just this constant pressure which is not productive for the libido situation anyway.
Maybe you're not doing that, maybe it's just the "I'm a twice-a-day guy" ringing in her ears, but it's a situation that requires careful navigation and a reasonable amount of talking about it if you want to get to a place that's at least not really confusing for both parties.
New relationship energy is a powerful force, but it can only last so long. And it sucks to know - if not be told/shown a lot - that your partner really wants to have sex, and you totally understand that intellectually, but it feels about the same to you as your partner really wanting to pay the electric bill. It's hard to parse.
But, that feeling also comes when the depression is getting worse rather than better. That could be a factor in this case. You need to learn to talk about it.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:49 AM on June 22, 2011 [5 favorites]
I have felt like this, and it was almost always in the context of super-pushy/insensitive partners. It starts with the low libido, but then you can't walk past him to the bathroom without being mauled (low point in my life: 105-degree fever, serious *gastric* virus, kinda hallucinating, took clothes off because I was hot, started getting boobs grabbed) and there's just this constant pressure which is not productive for the libido situation anyway.
Maybe you're not doing that, maybe it's just the "I'm a twice-a-day guy" ringing in her ears, but it's a situation that requires careful navigation and a reasonable amount of talking about it if you want to get to a place that's at least not really confusing for both parties.
New relationship energy is a powerful force, but it can only last so long. And it sucks to know - if not be told/shown a lot - that your partner really wants to have sex, and you totally understand that intellectually, but it feels about the same to you as your partner really wanting to pay the electric bill. It's hard to parse.
But, that feeling also comes when the depression is getting worse rather than better. That could be a factor in this case. You need to learn to talk about it.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:49 AM on June 22, 2011 [5 favorites]
Is there anything outside the realm of changing meds that either of us could do to perhaps help her regain her libido?
I'm sure you realize this, but it's worth repeating: for women, the libido is a really elusive thing. Any kind of pressure will drive it into hiding. "Time to get aroused now!" makes things worse, which is why it's just the case so often that we get to decide when sex happens. The libido has to be lured out very patiently. 'Let's have sex now' won't draw it out. Flowers are nice, but they don't cause arousal, nor do candles, rose petals, yadda yadda. With SSRIs in the picture, it's even harder to get aroused. But ou have to figure out what arouses her and help get her there before sexual overtures are made. BEFORE. How to find out? Maybe look at erotic literature geared towards women. And, ask her. That's my best advice.
posted by kitcat at 12:17 PM on June 22, 2011
I'm sure you realize this, but it's worth repeating: for
posted by kitcat at 12:17 PM on June 22, 2011
All the times when my libido was seriously in the toilet, including through hormonal birth control pills and anti-depressants (I'm sure I was on celexa at one point, too), it was because of my feelings for my partner.
Are you sure she was having a good time in the beginning? Because I also think this whole thing sounds fishy, especially her "strict orders" not to initiate sex with her. Ever.
Dude. You don't want to live with that long- term. These types of lopsided demands will spill into other areas. What you describe doesn't sound like a libido issue, it sounds like a serious character flaw.
Loving relationships worth the compromise don't feature ironclad directives that explicitly ignore one partner's needs. Especially not in the first few months.
Please rethink your plan here.*
*unless you have fetish about bossy selfish women, in which case, carry on....
posted by jbenben at 5:54 PM on June 22, 2011
Are you sure she was having a good time in the beginning? Because I also think this whole thing sounds fishy, especially her "strict orders" not to initiate sex with her. Ever.
Dude. You don't want to live with that long- term. These types of lopsided demands will spill into other areas. What you describe doesn't sound like a libido issue, it sounds like a serious character flaw.
Loving relationships worth the compromise don't feature ironclad directives that explicitly ignore one partner's needs. Especially not in the first few months.
Please rethink your plan here.*
*unless you have fetish about bossy selfish women, in which case, carry on....
posted by jbenben at 5:54 PM on June 22, 2011
My SO has made it very clear that I should not expect sex more than once a week and that I should not “put the moves” on her at all, lest I upset her or make her uncomfortable.
This answer is going to make me unpopular around here, but all I can offer is my experience.
I had a partner who laid down a rule like this: essentially, no matter what my relationship needs were, sex was going to happen on their schedule. And if that disappointed me, I was an asshole. I was trying to be an adult and make the relationship work, so I decided that I would not be a sex fiend and I would accept those terms.
As the relationship went on and we tried to be more serious, I noticed that my desires in all areas of life were unimportant. My partner's desire to live in a certain place was very important, and my similar desired locale wasn't worth considering. My career direction wasn't important, but you bet we were going to chase their dream career path. When I finally got fed up with the latter problems, I realized that the sex issue was basically the same issue: I had a need, and it was being disregarded. Completely disregarded, and if I felt hurt then I was an unsupportive asshole. So I left that relationship and swore that I would only get involved with people who believe that both partners' needs are important, and that compromise on both ends is an important part of a relationship. Sex would be included: certainly if I could pay attention to my partner's needs, they could pay attention to mine.
Fast forward to now. My current partner compromises with me, and we understand that we each have different needs. I do my best to meet my partner's needs by supporting their career and the relationships that are important in their life. In return, my partner meets me halfway on the sex drive issue. The best part is, since I feel validated and my needs are generally met, I find that I think about sex less often because I'm not constantly feeling needy. In fact, for the first time in my life I've experienced being to tired for sex, just because the pressure is off both of us.
This is not to say that the less-amorous partner needs to put out every time you ask. That's wrong. But it does mean that they should make an effort on occasion to meet your needs instead of completely disregarding your needs. Maybe that means doing a little cuddling/low-pressure making out to see if they actually do feel like it (with the understanding that they can say "no" if it doesn't work). Maybe that just means your partner focusing on your pleasure once a week. But there has to be a compromise that recognizes both partners' feelings: your need for a fulfilling sex life, and her need not to be a nightly sex toy. It sounds like the latter need is being taken care of, but not the former. I'd say you need to have another talk with your SO in which you explain that you don't just feel horny, you feel disregarded and unimportant because your needs are disregarded and unimportant. If your SO is still unwilling to find middle ground, then maybe you need to consider whether your SO is the kind of person who will really work with you when your relationship encounters a rocky path.
posted by PCup at 6:16 PM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
This answer is going to make me unpopular around here, but all I can offer is my experience.
I had a partner who laid down a rule like this: essentially, no matter what my relationship needs were, sex was going to happen on their schedule. And if that disappointed me, I was an asshole. I was trying to be an adult and make the relationship work, so I decided that I would not be a sex fiend and I would accept those terms.
As the relationship went on and we tried to be more serious, I noticed that my desires in all areas of life were unimportant. My partner's desire to live in a certain place was very important, and my similar desired locale wasn't worth considering. My career direction wasn't important, but you bet we were going to chase their dream career path. When I finally got fed up with the latter problems, I realized that the sex issue was basically the same issue: I had a need, and it was being disregarded. Completely disregarded, and if I felt hurt then I was an unsupportive asshole. So I left that relationship and swore that I would only get involved with people who believe that both partners' needs are important, and that compromise on both ends is an important part of a relationship. Sex would be included: certainly if I could pay attention to my partner's needs, they could pay attention to mine.
Fast forward to now. My current partner compromises with me, and we understand that we each have different needs. I do my best to meet my partner's needs by supporting their career and the relationships that are important in their life. In return, my partner meets me halfway on the sex drive issue. The best part is, since I feel validated and my needs are generally met, I find that I think about sex less often because I'm not constantly feeling needy. In fact, for the first time in my life I've experienced being to tired for sex, just because the pressure is off both of us.
This is not to say that the less-amorous partner needs to put out every time you ask. That's wrong. But it does mean that they should make an effort on occasion to meet your needs instead of completely disregarding your needs. Maybe that means doing a little cuddling/low-pressure making out to see if they actually do feel like it (with the understanding that they can say "no" if it doesn't work). Maybe that just means your partner focusing on your pleasure once a week. But there has to be a compromise that recognizes both partners' feelings: your need for a fulfilling sex life, and her need not to be a nightly sex toy. It sounds like the latter need is being taken care of, but not the former. I'd say you need to have another talk with your SO in which you explain that you don't just feel horny, you feel disregarded and unimportant because your needs are disregarded and unimportant. If your SO is still unwilling to find middle ground, then maybe you need to consider whether your SO is the kind of person who will really work with you when your relationship encounters a rocky path.
posted by PCup at 6:16 PM on June 22, 2011 [3 favorites]
I can kind of identify with your SO in a vague sort of way. If I'm feeling the opposite of amorous and my SO tries to do more than cuddling or hand holding or etc., I become not only not turned on but completely turned off due to my self-dislike. I want to be turned on when my SO is! It hurts so much to not be in the mood! To (potentially) make him think I don't find him attractive? It's a horrible feeling. (This is something I'm working through, and perhaps something your SO needs to work on with her therapist.)
I think the fact that she asked two of her physicians about the lack of libido means she's not being bossy or dismissing your needs for the sake of being dismissive. You know? She is actually concerned about this issue.
Oh, OP, I don't know if your SO is anything like me, but while wine/alcohol make me relaxed, it also makes me too sleepy to get in the mood for lovin'. Just throwing that out there, since it seems to play a part in your daily routine.
posted by eldiem at 7:26 PM on June 22, 2011
I think the fact that she asked two of her physicians about the lack of libido means she's not being bossy or dismissing your needs for the sake of being dismissive. You know? She is actually concerned about this issue.
Oh, OP, I don't know if your SO is anything like me, but while wine/alcohol make me relaxed, it also makes me too sleepy to get in the mood for lovin'. Just throwing that out there, since it seems to play a part in your daily routine.
posted by eldiem at 7:26 PM on June 22, 2011
I was in this situation with an ex. We use to have sex all the time and then I lost interest in having sex with him and had to get drunk in order to do it most of the time. My bottom line was that I loved my ex a lot but he just wasn't the right guy for me. The fact that she is saying don't touch her or try and initiate sex with her and it will only happen on her terms is a clear sign to me that maybe she isn't as into the relationship as much as you are and although she loves you, you might just not be the right one for her? I did exactly what you say she is doing to you, to my ex and I only realised it was because he wasn't the right guy for me when we broke up and my sex drive came back. ( I too tried to blame it on the Pill, depression, medication etc and asked doctors why I had lost my sex drive and was thinking of going to see someone about it) This may not be the correct answer and i definitely don't want to hurt your feelings but it' something to think about as although it was really hard for me to leave my ex and hurt him, he now has found someone else and is really happy again.
posted by emmy83 at 11:01 PM on June 24, 2011
posted by emmy83 at 11:01 PM on June 24, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by noxetlux at 7:17 AM on June 22, 2011 [1 favorite]